Nowadays, many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries traveled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Recent decades have witnessed a large number of people travel to oversea nations for amusement, while others reckon traveling poses a threat to countries they traveled to. Although both schools of thoughts are justifiable due to some reasons, which will be discussed in this essay, I am in agreement with the former statement.
On the one hand, traveling to foreign countries can cause some detrimental consequences. Firstly, one of the grave repercussions are environmental issues. To be more specific, if the number of tourists traveling abroad increases, transportation services will be used a lot and more emissions will be emitted to society. This will not only negatively sway air pollution but it will also inflict damage on the local population's respiratory system. Secondly, traveling overseas by large numbers will damage local customs. People convey their identities to a new nation through travel, and the process of cultural assimilation gets underway. Therefore, local culture becomes less authentic and traditional practices may fade away if this process persits for a long period.
However, I believe there will be more merits than drawbacks from traveling to other nations. To begin with, an increasing number of foreign visitors will foster the economic development of that nation. In addition to engaging in tourism-related activities, foreign visitors frequently enjoy dining at local restaurants, shopping for regional specialties, or playing well-known games. This will promote the growth of the service sector and increase employment prospects for residents. Besides, an additional benefit of growing people visiting other countries is the advancement of culture. Due to the rise in foreign tourism, locals have more opportunities to promote their nation's cultural features and contribute to the preservation and enhancement of their vibrant culture.
In conclusion, although the increasing number of visitors traveling to foreign countries has several drawbacks due to the air pollution and the negative affection to local culture, I believe that these disadvantages are completely overshadowed by the advantages be it foster economic growth and enhance vibrant culture. So, I think besides cultural integration with foreign countries, local people ought to preserve the cultural characteristics of their country.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"travel to oversea nations" -> "travel to overseas nations"
Explanation: "Oversea" is a less common and less formal term compared to "overseas," which is the standard adverbial form used in formal English to describe something located or happening outside of one’s own country or region.
"reckon" -> "believe"
Explanation: "Reckon" is a colloquial term that is not suitable for academic writing. "Believe" is more formal and appropriate for an academic context.
"both schools of thoughts" -> "both schools of thought"
Explanation: "Schools of thought" is the correct plural form when referring to multiple philosophical or intellectual perspectives.
"justifiable due to some reasons" -> "justifiable for several reasons"
Explanation: "Some reasons" is vague and informal; "several reasons" is more precise and formal.
"On the one hand" -> "On one hand"
Explanation: "On the one hand" is redundant; "On one hand" is sufficient and more concise.
"the grave repercussions are" -> "serious repercussions are"
Explanation: "Grave" is somewhat archaic and less precise in modern English; "serious" is more commonly used and understood.
"used a lot" -> "used extensively"
Explanation: "Used a lot" is informal and vague; "used extensively" is more precise and formal.
"inflict damage on" -> "harm"
Explanation: "Inflict damage on" is verbose; "harm" is a more direct and formal term.
"local customs" -> "local traditions"
Explanation: "Customs" can refer to both cultural and habitual practices; "traditions" specifically refers to cultural practices passed down through generations, which is more precise in this context.
"People convey their identities" -> "Individuals express their identities"
Explanation: "Convey" can imply a more active transmission, whereas "express" is more appropriate for describing how people reveal their identities.
"the process of cultural assimilation gets underway" -> "the process of cultural assimilation begins"
Explanation: "Gets underway" is informal and less precise; "begins" is straightforward and formal.
"if this process persits for a long period" -> "if this process persists for a long period"
Explanation: "Persits" is a typographical error; "persists" is the correct word.
"merits than drawbacks" -> "advantages over disadvantages"
Explanation: "Merits" is less commonly used in this context; "advantages" is more direct and clear.
"foster the economic development" -> "promote economic development"
Explanation: "Foster" is less commonly used in this context; "promote" is more direct and appropriate for describing economic development.
"be it foster economic growth and enhance vibrant culture" -> "it fosters economic growth and enhances vibrant culture"
Explanation: "Be it" is an archaic and informal phrase; "it" is more direct and appropriate for formal writing. Also, "foster" and "enhance" should be used in the correct verb form.
"besides cultural integration with foreign countries" -> "in addition to cultural integration with foreign countries"
Explanation: "Besides" is less formal and can be vague; "in addition to" is more precise and formal.
"preserve the cultural characteristics of their country" -> "maintain the cultural heritage of their nation"
Explanation: "Preserve" is a good choice, but "maintain" is more commonly used in the context of cultural heritage, and "nation" is more formal than "country."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both aspects of the prompt: the argument that travel has a negative impact on host countries and the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with this viewpoint. The writer acknowledges both perspectives but clearly states agreement with the idea that travel has more benefits.
- How to improve: While the essay covers both sides, ensuring a deeper exploration of the negative impacts and how they might be perceived by others would strengthen the response. Providing more specific examples or statistics could enhance the argumentation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer’s position (agreeing that travel has more benefits) is clearly articulated and maintained consistently throughout the essay. Each paragraph reinforces this stance with supporting arguments and examples.
- How to improve: To further improve clarity, consider explicitly connecting each example back to the main thesis statement in the introduction. This will ensure that the position remains central and prominent throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with each paragraph introducing a new supporting argument. Examples such as economic benefits and cultural exchange are well-developed and supported with relevant details.
- How to improve: To enhance the depth of ideas, consider including more nuanced explanations or counter-arguments to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic. This could further strengthen the essay’s persuasive impact.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear focus on the topic throughout, discussing the impact of travel on host countries and the writer’s stance on whether this impact is positive or negative.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each example or argument directly relates to the prompt would sharpen the focus. Avoiding generic statements and ensuring specificity in examples will further strengthen the coherence of the response.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear stance on the impact of travel on host countries and supporting this stance with relevant examples. To improve further, deeper analysis of opposing viewpoints and more specific examples would elevate the essay’s argumentative strength and coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of ideas. It begins with an introduction that states the writer’s position clearly. Each body paragraph discusses different aspects of the argument, with one focusing on negative impacts and the other on positive impacts of foreign travel. The conclusion restates the writer’s opinion and summarizes the main points effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure that each body paragraph maintains a clear focus on a single main idea. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs, such as "Furthermore", "On the other hand", or "In conclusion". This will help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to organize different aspects of the argument. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and develops its main idea with supporting details. However, some paragraphs could be more tightly focused on a single aspect of the argument to improve clarity.
- How to improve: Focus on ensuring that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument clearly. For example, the paragraph discussing negative impacts of travel could focus solely on environmental issues without also discussing cultural impacts. This will improve coherence and make the argumentation more concise and impactful.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices such as "although", "firstly", "secondly", "to begin with", "besides", and "in conclusion". These devices help to structure the essay and connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
- How to improve: Continue to use cohesive devices effectively to improve the overall coherence of the essay. Consider using more advanced cohesive devices like "conversely", "nevertheless", or "subsequently" to further enrich the essay’s structure and coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong coherence and cohesion with effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices, there is room for improvement in terms of refining paragraph focus and enhancing the logical flow between ideas. By focusing each paragraph more tightly on a single main idea and using a wider range of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher band score in coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, though there is some repetition and reliance on basic terms. For example, terms like "adverse consequences," "environmental issues," "cultural assimilation," and "economic development" are used effectively to discuss various aspects of the topic. However, there is room for improvement in incorporating more diverse and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enrich your vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and less common terms where appropriate. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "negative" or "detrimental," you could employ alternatives like "adverse" or "harmful effects." This can elevate the sophistication of your language and demonstrate a deeper grasp of lexical resources.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with moderate precision, though there are instances where terms could be more accurately applied. For example, the phrase "negatively sway air pollution" could be more precise; perhaps "exacerbate air pollution" would convey the intended meaning more effectively. Conversely, terms like "economic development" and "cultural assimilation" are used appropriately to address specific aspects of the prompt.
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that precisely fits the context of your arguments. This involves ensuring that each word chosen accurately conveys your intended meaning. Reviewing synonyms and related terms can help you find more precise expressions. For instance, instead of "traveling poses a threat," you could consider phrases like "poses a challenge" or "poses a risk," depending on the specific nuance you wish to convey.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates adequate spelling accuracy, with minor errors such as "persits" instead of "persists" and "affection" instead of "effect." These errors do not significantly detract from overall readability but suggest a need for closer attention to spelling.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work carefully. Reading aloud or using spell-check tools can help identify and correct errors before final submission. Additionally, expanding your vocabulary can also aid in recognizing correct spellings and using words with confidence.

In summary, while your essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument, enhancing lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy can further elevate the quality of your writing. By consciously diversifying your vocabulary, choosing words with precision, and refining your spelling habits, you can strengthen the overall impact and clarity of your essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. It employs simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively throughout. For instance, simple sentences like "Recent decades have witnessed a large number of people travel to oversea nations for amusement" are balanced with complex structures such as "Due to the rise in foreign tourism, locals have more opportunities to promote their nation’s cultural features."
- How to improve: To enhance variety, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures with subordinate clauses or inversion for emphasis. This can add sophistication and coherence to your arguments. For example, instead of relying on predominantly simple sentences, aim to integrate more conditional or concessive clauses to enrich your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy with minor errors. For instance, "if the number of tourists traveling abroad increases, transportation services will be used a lot" showcases correct conditional usage. However, there are occasional issues with subject-verb agreement ("local customs becomes less authentic") and punctuation (missing commas before conjunctions in complex sentences).
- How to improve: Focus on ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement throughout your essay. Review the usage of commas, particularly in complex sentences where they are needed to clarify sentence structure and aid readability. Practicing with sentence combining exercises can help in mastering complex sentence structures and correct punctuation usage.

In summary, while your essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and a varied use of sentence structures, there are opportunities for improvement in enhancing sentence complexity and refining grammatical accuracy. Continued practice in these areas will contribute to further improving your overall writing proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent decades, there has been a significant rise in people traveling to overseas nations for pleasure, while some argue that such travel has a negative impact on the countries visited. Both perspectives have valid points, as discussed in this essay, but I am inclined to support the view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

On one hand, traveling to foreign countries can indeed lead to adverse consequences. Firstly, one of the serious repercussions is environmental damage. Specifically, an increase in tourist numbers leads to heightened use of transportation services and greater emissions, contributing significantly to air pollution and posing health risks to local populations. Secondly, extensive travel can erode local traditions. As individuals express their identities in new environments, the process of cultural assimilation begins, potentially diluting authentic local customs and traditions over time.

However, I believe that the advantages of international travel are more substantial. Firstly, an influx of foreign visitors can greatly promote economic development. Beyond engaging in tourist activities, such as dining out and purchasing local goods, tourists contribute to the growth of the service sector and create job opportunities for locals. Moreover, exposure to diverse cultures through tourism enriches local cultural landscapes. This interaction not only fosters cultural exchange but also encourages the preservation and enhancement of local traditions amidst globalization pressures.

In conclusion, despite the potential drawbacks like environmental impact and cultural dilution, I believe that the benefits of international travel, such as economic growth and cultural enrichment, outweigh these concerns. Therefore, while promoting cultural integration with foreign countries, it is crucial for local communities to also safeguard and promote the distinctive cultural heritage of their nation.