You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.
Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
You should write at least 150 words.
The line graph illustrates the main fuels profuction levels in the UK over the period from 1981 to 2000.
Looking from an overall perspectively, it readily shows that while petroleum and natural gas have increased over ther entire period, coal has dropped significantly.
Looking from the chart, it can be seen that throgh a period of 19 years, natural gas start with having the lowest position in the production levels of the main fuels with approximately 39 energy units before jumpping to the second – high position wwith roughly 102 in 2000. About petroleum, it has a dramatical growth in the first quater period, then dropped and increased again, reach 140 energy units by the end. And it always possesed the highest levels during the whole period.
Contrasly, coal is the main fuel which has a remarkable decrease with approximately 90 energy units at the beginning, after having dropped and incresed at the first quater of period, it has a gradually decrease and reached 36 energy units by the end of the period.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The line graph illustrates" -> "The line graph depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more formal and precise term than "illustrates" in academic contexts, enhancing the formal tone of the introduction. -
"main fuels profuction" -> "main fuel production"
Explanation: Corrects the typo "profuction" to "production" for grammatical accuracy and clarity. -
"over the period from 1981 to 2000" -> "over the period spanning 1981 to 2000"
Explanation: "Spanning" is a more formal and precise term than "from," which better suits academic writing. -
"Looking from an overall perspectively" -> "Viewed from a broader perspective"
Explanation: "Viewed from a broader perspective" corrects the grammatical error and uses a more formal phrase. -
"it readily shows" -> "it clearly indicates"
Explanation: "Clearly indicates" is a more precise and formal expression than "readily shows." -
"petroleum and natural gas have increased" -> "petroleum and natural gas have both increased"
Explanation: Adding "both" clarifies that both fuels are being discussed, improving the sentence’s clarity and precision. -
"coal has dropped significantly" -> "coal has significantly decreased"
Explanation: "Decreased" is a more formal and precise term than "dropped" in this context. -
"throgh" -> "through"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "throgh" to "through." -
"natural gas start with having the lowest position" -> "natural gas initially held the lowest position"
Explanation: "Initially held" is more precise and formal than "start with having," which is awkwardly phrased. -
"before jumpping" -> "before jumping"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "jumpping" to "jumping." -
"wwith" -> "with"
Explanation: Corrects the typographical error "wwith" to "with." -
"dramical growth" -> "dramatic growth"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "dramical" to "dramatic." -
"first quater period" -> "first quarter period"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "quater" to "quarter." -
"reach 140 energy units by the end" -> "reached 140 energy units by the end"
Explanation: Corrects the verb tense to match the past tense used throughout the essay. -
"possesed" -> "possessed"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "possesed" to "possessed." -
"Contrasly" -> "Contrastingly"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "Contrasly" to "Contrastingly." -
"incresed" -> "increased"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "incresed" to "increased." -
"first quater of period" -> "first quarter of the period"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "quater" to "quarter" and adds "the" for grammatical accuracy. -
"it has a gradually decrease" -> "it experienced a gradual decrease"
Explanation: "Experienced" is more formal and precise than "has a," and "gradual" should be used as an adjective, not an adverb.
These corrections and improvements enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with formal writing standards.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay provides a general overview of the trends in fuel production, but it does not present a clear overview of the main features. The essay also recounts detail mechanically with no clear overview. There is no data to support the description. The essay presents, but inadequately covers, key features/bullet points. There is a tendency to focus on details.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main features of the graph. The essay should also include more specific data to support the description. For example, the essay could state that petroleum production increased from approximately 100 energy units in 1981 to 140 energy units in 2000. The essay could also provide more specific details about the fluctuations in production levels for each fuel. For example, the essay could state that coal production decreased from approximately 90 energy units in 1981 to 36 energy units in 2000. The essay should also avoid using informal language, such as "jumpping" and "dramatical." Instead, the essay should use more formal language, such as "increased" and "significant."
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some attempt to organize information but lacks coherent progression. There is an attempt to use some cohesive devices, but they are often inaccurate or repetitive. Paragraphing is inconsistent and confusing, with no clear logical structure observed.
How to improve:
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Organizational Structure: Ensure a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea related to the data presented.
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Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices accurately and appropriately. Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are clear and logical.
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Paragraphing: Clearly separate different ideas into paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain a clear topic sentence that relates to the overall theme of the paragraph.
Improving these aspects will help in achieving better coherence and cohesion, essential for higher band scores in IELTS Task 1 essays.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, often using repetitive and basic words ("fuel", "period", "levels"). There are noticeable errors in word formation and spelling throughout ("profuction", "perspectively", "throgh", "quater", "dramatical", "possesed", "contrasly", "incresed"), which hinder the clarity of the message. These errors make it somewhat difficult for the reader to follow the essay smoothly.
How to improve:
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Expand Vocabulary: Try using a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as synonyms for "increase" and "decrease" or more precise terms for "levels" and "period".
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Improve Word Formation: Pay attention to word formation rules and practice accurate spelling to enhance readability.
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Grammar and Syntax: Work on sentence structure and grammar to convey ideas more clearly and accurately.
Improving in these areas would help elevate the essay’s lexical resource score to a higher band level.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but lacks consistency and accuracy. There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including issues with verb tenses ("natural gas start", "petroleum, it has", "coal is the main fuel which has"), subject-verb agreement ("petroleum and natural gas have increased"), and awkward phrasing ("looking from an overall perspectively", "coal has dropped significantly").
While there is an effort to include some complex sentence structures, such as subordinate clauses ("while petroleum and natural gas have increased over ther entire period"), these attempts are not executed with accuracy. Punctuation is also inconsistent and often incorrect, further impacting clarity and coherence.
The errors in grammar and punctuation are frequent and do affect the overall communication of ideas, making it challenging for the reader to follow the essay fluently.
How to improve:
- Sentence Structure: Work on forming more accurate and coherent complex sentence structures. Practice using subordinate clauses and connecting ideas logically.
- Grammar Accuracy: Focus on verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and proper use of articles and prepositions.
- Punctuation: Review the rules of punctuation, especially concerning commas and sentence structure.
By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score by improving clarity, coherence, and grammatical accuracy.
Bài sửa mẫu
The line graph depicts the production levels of major fuels in the UK from 1981 to 2000.
Overall, petroleum and natural gas experienced upward trends throughout the period, whereas coal saw a significant decline.
Natural gas started at approximately 39 energy units in 1981, the lowest among the fuels, and surged to around 102 units by 2000, securing the second-highest position. Petroleum exhibited a sharp rise in the initial years, peaking at 140 units before fluctuating and ending at a similar level. It consistently held the highest production levels throughout the period.
In contrast, coal, which began with about 90 units, underwent fluctuations in the early years before steadily decreasing to 36 units by 2000, marking a substantial decline.
Overall, the data illustrates the contrasting production trajectories of these fuels over two decades in the UK.
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