Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses, taxis, and the metro on vehicle-free days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses, taxis, and the metro on vehicle-free days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Some metropolises around the world have encouraged the use of public transport by banning private cars, trucks and motorcycles on the so-called vehicle-free days. In my view, the advantages of such policy undoubtedly overshadow its potential drawbacks by minimizing pollution and promoting sustainable development.
Admittedly, vehicle-free days may limit the use of private vehicles in the city center, leading to certain problems. Trade and transport activities may be hindered, which affects business processes. In most cities, goods and merchandise are constantly transported to different venues to ensure the fastest and most effective delivery and seemless processes, and banning this may reduce businesses’ service quality and consumers’ satisfaction levels. Moreover, emergency cars from hospitals might face difficulties because of this policy, potentially leading to delay in helping people in need for such services. However, these drawbacks can easily be mitigated by adjusting this policy to allow emergency cars to travel in the cities, and incentivizing businesses to accelerate their transport activities before the vehicle-free day.
Nevertheless, imposing vehicle-free day policy will significantly benefit individuals and organizations in general. The most tangible benefit is the diminished level of noise and air pollution in such days, resulting in a more relaxing and clean atmosphere and environment for city dwellers. Therefore, people are encouraged to go out to take a stroll in a park, do some shopping, and find solace in their daily lives, leading to higher sales and boosted profits for retailers. In addition, this approach also forms the habit of using public transport among city dwellers, which foster a sustainable city in the long run, where using public and green transport will be preferred over private vehicles. Eventually, the overall carbon footprint of such cities will decrease, promoting better and cleaner environments for future generations.
In conclusion, even though adoping vehicle-free days might negatively impact certain services in cities, the advantages of such policy is much greater. By reducing noise and air pollution, in tandem with encouraging the use of public transport, this approach will bring about sustainable development and offer city dwellers a much more satisfying life in urban areas. (349)
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Some metropolises" -> "Certain cities"
Explanation: "Metropolises" is correct but "cities" is more commonly used in academic texts to refer to urban areas, making the phrase more accessible and precise. -
"the so-called vehicle-free days" -> "designated vehicle-free days"
Explanation: "So-called" implies a pejorative tone, which is not suitable for an objective academic analysis. "Designated" is neutral and more formal. -
"In my view" -> "It is argued"
Explanation: "In my view" is too informal and personal for academic writing. "It is argued" is a more neutral and formal way to introduce an opinion. -
"the advantages of such policy" -> "the advantages of this policy"
Explanation: "Such" is vague and informal; "this" is more specific and appropriate for referring to the policy discussed earlier in the text. -
"minimizing pollution and promoting sustainable development" -> "reducing pollution and fostering sustainable development"
Explanation: "Minimizing" and "promoting" are somewhat vague; "reducing" and "fostering" are more precise and academically suitable terms. -
"Trade and transport activities may be hindered" -> "Commercial and logistical activities may be impeded"
Explanation: "Trade and transport activities" is a bit generic; "commercial and logistical activities" specifies the types of activities affected, enhancing clarity and precision. -
"seemless processes" -> "seamless processes"
Explanation: "Seemless" is a typographical error; "seamless" is the correct term, meaning uninterrupted or continuous. -
"emergency cars from hospitals" -> "emergency vehicles from hospitals"
Explanation: "Cars" is too specific and informal; "vehicles" is more appropriate and inclusive of various types of emergency vehicles. -
"potentially leading to delay" -> "potentially resulting in delays"
Explanation: "Leading to delay" is grammatically awkward; "resulting in delays" is grammatically correct and more formal. -
"imposing vehicle-free day policy" -> "implementing a vehicle-free day policy"
Explanation: "Imposing" can imply force or coercion, which may not be the intended meaning. "Implementing" is neutral and more suitable for describing policy adoption. -
"diminished level of noise and air pollution" -> "reduced levels of noise and air pollution"
Explanation: "Diminished" is less commonly used in this context; "reduced" is more direct and clear. -
"forms the habit" -> "encourages the adoption of"
Explanation: "Forms the habit" is somewhat informal and vague; "encourages the adoption of" is more precise and formal. -
"foster a sustainable city" -> "promote sustainable urban development"
Explanation: "Foster a sustainable city" is less specific; "promote sustainable urban development" is a more comprehensive and formal expression. -
"using public and green transport" -> "utilizing public and environmentally friendly transportation"
Explanation: "Using public and green transport" is informal and lacks specificity; "utilizing public and environmentally friendly transportation" is more precise and formal. -
"the advantages of such policy is much greater" -> "the benefits of this policy are significantly greater"
Explanation: "Advantages" is singular, but "benefits" is plural to match the context; "is" should be "are" for subject-verb agreement, and "significantly" enhances the formality and emphasis.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9
Band Score for Task Response: 9
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of vehicle-free days in urban areas. The author acknowledges the potential drawbacks, such as hindrances to trade and emergency services, while clearly articulating the benefits, including reduced pollution and the promotion of public transport. The structure allows for a balanced examination of the topic, with a clear conclusion that states the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
- How to improve: While the essay is comprehensive, it could enhance its depth by providing more specific examples or data to support claims about pollution reduction and economic impacts. Including statistics or case studies from cities that have implemented vehicle-free days could strengthen the argument.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the advantages of vehicle-free days outweigh the disadvantages. This stance is consistently reinforced throughout the essay, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. The author uses phrases like "in my view" and "undoubtedly overshadow" to emphasize their perspective.
- How to improve: To further solidify the position, the author could anticipate counterarguments more robustly. For example, they could elaborate on how businesses can adapt to vehicle-free days rather than merely stating that adjustments can be made. This would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the complexities of the issue.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly regarding the benefits of vehicle-free days. The discussion on reduced pollution and its positive impact on urban life is well-articulated. The author also extends their ideas by linking the use of public transport to sustainable development, showcasing a clear understanding of broader implications.
- How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the author could incorporate more diverse examples of how vehicle-free days have positively impacted specific cities. This would provide a richer context and make the argument more persuasive.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of vehicle-free days. There are no significant deviations from the main topic, and the author consistently ties back to the central question.
- How to improve: While the essay is well-focused, the author could improve by ensuring that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. For instance, they could explicitly connect the benefits of reduced pollution to the question of whether these advantages outweigh the disadvantages, reinforcing the relevance of each point made.
Overall, this essay is a strong example of effective argumentation in response to an IELTS Task 2 prompt, demonstrating a high level of coherence, clarity, and critical engagement with the topic.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, presenting a clear introduction that outlines the writer’s stance, followed by a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. The arguments are logically sequenced, with the disadvantages mentioned first, followed by a more extensive discussion of the advantages. For instance, the transition from discussing the limitations on businesses to the benefits of reduced pollution is smooth and maintains a clear line of reasoning. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s position.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer could consider using more explicit transitional phrases to guide the reader through the discussion. For example, phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" could be employed to signal shifts between discussing disadvantages and advantages more clearly. Additionally, a brief overview of the main points in the introduction could help set the stage for the reader.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s viewpoint, the second discusses disadvantages, and the third elaborates on the advantages. This clear paragraphing aids in readability and comprehension. However, the second paragraph could be further divided to separate the discussion of trade impacts from the issues faced by emergency services, which would allow for a more focused exploration of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, the writer could create a separate paragraph for each major point. For example, one paragraph could focus solely on the impact on businesses, while another could address the challenges faced by emergency services. This would allow for deeper analysis and clearer presentation of each argument.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of cohesive devices, such as "Admittedly," "However," and "Nevertheless," which effectively connect ideas and indicate shifts in the argument. The use of cohesive devices contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there are moments where the repetition of certain phrases, such as "vehicle-free days," could be varied to maintain reader engagement and avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related phrases to refer to "vehicle-free days," such as "car-free initiatives" or "transportation-free days." Additionally, employing more varied sentence structures and linking words could enhance the essay’s cohesiveness, making the arguments flow more naturally. For instance, using phrases like "In addition to this" or "Moreover" could help in connecting related ideas more fluidly.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, achieving a high band score. With minor adjustments in transitional phrases, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices, the essay could reach an even higher level of clarity and engagement.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Words such as "metropolises," "sustainable development," "diminished," and "solace" indicate a strong command of language. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "vehicle-free days" is repeated, which could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "vehicle-free days," alternatives like "car-free days" or "traffic-free periods" could be employed. Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary related to urban planning or environmental science could elevate the essay further.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For example, the term "emergency cars" could be more accurately referred to as "emergency vehicles," which is the standard terminology. Furthermore, the phrase "accelerate their transport activities" may not convey the intended meaning clearly; it could imply speeding rather than increasing the frequency or efficiency of transport.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should ensure that terms are used in their conventional contexts. Consulting a thesaurus or dictionary can help clarify the nuances of specific words. For example, replacing "emergency cars" with "emergency vehicles" and rephrasing "accelerate their transport activities" to "increase the efficiency of their logistics" would improve clarity.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "adopting" which is misspelled as "adoping," and "seamless" which is incorrectly written as "seemless." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can impact the reader’s understanding.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in thorough proofreading after writing. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and maintaining a personal list of challenging terms can aid in enhancing spelling skills over time.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with a good range and generally precise usage, there are areas for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex, compound, and simple sentences. For instance, the use of phrases such as "Admittedly, vehicle-free days may limit the use of private vehicles in the city center, leading to certain problems" showcases a complex structure that effectively conveys the relationship between ideas. Additionally, the sentence "In my view, the advantages of such policy undoubtedly overshadow its potential drawbacks by minimizing pollution and promoting sustainable development" uses a compound structure that clearly states the writer’s opinion while integrating multiple ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and developed, which could be diversified further.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "In addition" or "Moreover," the writer could use alternatives like "Furthermore," "Additionally," or "On the other hand" to introduce contrasting ideas. Additionally, employing more conditional sentences or using participial phrases could add complexity and interest to the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely maintains grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, the phrase "the advantages of such policy is much greater" contains a subject-verb agreement error; it should be "the advantages of such policy are much greater." Additionally, the phrase "seemless processes" contains a spelling error; the correct spelling is "seamless." Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and items in lists. However, there are instances where clarity could be improved with additional commas, such as in the sentence "which affects business processes," where a comma before "which" would enhance readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that plural nouns are matched with plural verbs. Regular proofreading can help catch spelling errors and ensure that all terms are correctly spelled. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can help enhance clarity and flow. Engaging in exercises focused on common grammatical pitfalls could also be beneficial for reinforcing these skills.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. With focused efforts on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision, the writer can further enhance their writing quality.
Bài sửa mẫu
Some metropolises around the world have encouraged the use of public transport by banning private cars, trucks, and motorcycles on the so-called vehicle-free days. In my view, the advantages of such a policy undoubtedly overshadow its potential drawbacks by minimizing pollution and promoting sustainable development.
Admittedly, vehicle-free days may limit the use of private vehicles in the city center, leading to certain problems. Trade and transport activities may be hindered, which affects business processes. In most cities, goods and merchandise are constantly transported to different venues to ensure the fastest and most effective delivery and seamless processes, and banning this may reduce businesses’ service quality and consumers’ satisfaction levels. Moreover, emergency vehicles from hospitals might face difficulties because of this policy, potentially leading to delays in helping people in need of such services. However, these drawbacks can easily be mitigated by adjusting this policy to allow emergency vehicles to travel in the cities and incentivizing businesses to accelerate their transport activities before the vehicle-free day.
Nevertheless, implementing a vehicle-free day policy will significantly benefit individuals and organizations in general. The most tangible benefit is the reduced levels of noise and air pollution on such days, resulting in a more relaxing and clean atmosphere for city dwellers. Therefore, people are encouraged to go out to take a stroll in a park, do some shopping, and find solace in their daily lives, leading to higher sales and boosted profits for retailers. In addition, this approach also forms the habit of using public transport among city dwellers, which fosters a sustainable city in the long run, where using public and environmentally friendly transportation will be preferred over private vehicles. Eventually, the overall carbon footprint of such cities will decrease, promoting better and cleaner environments for future generations.
In conclusion, even though adopting vehicle-free days might negatively impact certain services in cities, the advantages of such a policy are much greater. By reducing noise and air pollution, in tandem with encouraging the use of public transport, this approach will bring about sustainable development and offer city dwellers a much more satisfying life in urban areas. (349)