The map below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The map below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The two maps provide information about how the center of Islip town would change due to its planned development.
Overall, the maps show significant modifications in facility repositions and road infrastructure. Notably, a variety of new buildings would be constructed in order to enhance indispensable and convenient accessibilities for residents.
The first map describes features of the Islip town at the present time. The main road goes through the center of the city from the west to the east and is situated with two lines of shops along it. Remarkably, housing is placed in the two prominent areas directly opposite to the main road, which is also the heart of the city. At the end of the map, the parking area in the southeast and school to the south west are in the vicinity of housing areas and are connected to the main road by two smaller paths.
Moving on to the second map, the main road will be changed to a circular form, encasing almost every dominant facility in the city. A new path for pedestrians only will also be added among new constructions encompassing bus station, shopping center car park, a new housing area and a shops system, which would be reduced to make room for more buildings. In the southeast part of the map, the existing parking area will be less spacious than before to make way for a new accommodation area. The two previous housing parts will be located on either side of the southern main road, which is in close proximity to the upgraded school.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The two maps provide information about how the center of Islip town would change due to its planned development." -> "The two maps illustrate the planned transformations in the center of Islip town."
Explanation: Replacing "provide information about how" with "illustrate" enhances the academic tone by using a more precise and formal verb that directly relates to visual representations like maps.
"significant modifications in facility repositions" -> "substantial changes in facility relocations"
Explanation: "Substantial changes" is more precise and formal than "significant modifications," and "relocations" is the correct term for moving facilities, improving the accuracy of the description.
"enhance indispensable and convenient accessibilities" -> "improve essential and convenient accessibility"
Explanation: "Improve" is more appropriate than "enhance" in this context, and "essential" is more precise than "indispensable" in describing the importance of accessibilities.
"a variety of new buildings would be constructed" -> "numerous new buildings will be constructed"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more specific and formal than "a variety," and "will be" is more definitive than "would be" in describing future actions.
"Remarkably, housing is placed" -> "Notably, housing is situated"
Explanation: "Notably" is more formal than "Remarkably," and "situated" is a more precise term for describing the placement of buildings.
"the heart of the city" -> "the central area"
Explanation: "The central area" is more neutral and formal than "the heart of the city," which can be seen as colloquial.
"the parking area in the southeast and school to the south west" -> "the parking area in the southeast and the school to the southwest"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "school" corrects the article usage, and "southwest" is the correct compound direction.
"will be changed to a circular form" -> "will be transformed into a circular configuration"
Explanation: "Transformed into a circular configuration" is more precise and formal than "changed to a circular form."
"encasing almost every dominant facility" -> "encompassing most major facilities"
Explanation: "Encompassing" is more accurate for describing the inclusion of facilities within a boundary, and "major" is more formal than "dominant."
"a new path for pedestrians only" -> "a pedestrian-only path"
Explanation: "Pedestrian-only path" is a more concise and formal way to describe a path restricted to pedestrians.
"a shops system" -> "a shopping system"
Explanation: "Shopping system" is the correct term, as "shops" is not a noun that can be used as an adjective to describe a system.
"would be reduced to make room for more buildings" -> "will be reduced to accommodate additional structures"
Explanation: "Will be reduced to accommodate additional structures" is more formal and precise, replacing the casual "make room for more buildings."
"The two previous housing parts" -> "the two previously existing housing areas"
Explanation: "The two previously existing housing areas" is more formal and precise, clarifying that these are already established housing areas.
"in close proximity to the upgraded school" -> "adjacent to the upgraded school"
Explanation: "Adjacent to" is a more formal and precise term than "in close proximity to," which is somewhat vague.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the maps, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends or differences between the two maps. For example, the essay does not mention that the main road will be changed to a circular form, encasing almost every dominant facility in the city. The essay also does not mention that a new path for pedestrians only will be added among new constructions encompassing bus station, shopping center car park, a new housing area and a shops system.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends or differences between the two maps. The essay could also be improved by providing more specific details about the changes that will be made to the town center. For example, the essay could mention that the existing parking area will be less spacious than before to make way for a new accommodation area. The essay could also mention that the two previous housing parts will be located on either side of the southern main road, which is in close proximity to the upgraded school.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, presenting a clear overall progression from the current state of Islip to its planned development. However, while cohesive devices are used effectively, there are instances where cohesion within and between sentences appears mechanical or slightly faulty. The paragraphing is present but could be more logically structured to enhance clarity. Each paragraph presents a central topic, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve the flow of information.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can be done by using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph clearly builds on the previous one. Additionally, refining paragraph structure to ensure that each one has a clear topic sentence and supporting details will improve coherence. Finally, avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring that references are clear will help in achieving a more cohesive essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task. It attempts to use some less common vocabulary, such as "modifications," "accessibilities," and "encasing," but there are instances of inaccuracy and awkward phrasing, such as "enhance indispensable and convenient accessibilities" and "a shops system." Additionally, there are some errors in word formation, such as "accommodation area" instead of "accommodation" and "the heart of the city" which could be more precisely articulated. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they do detract from the overall clarity and sophistication of the language used.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and ensuring the accuracy of word choice and collocation. Practicing the use of more sophisticated synonyms and phrases can enhance the essay’s lexical resource. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors, as well as refining awkward phrases for clarity, will improve the overall quality of the writing. Engaging with a variety of texts can also help in understanding the nuances of word usage and context.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some errors in grammar and punctuation that do not significantly hinder communication. There is a reasonable attempt to describe the changes in the town of Islip, but the grammatical accuracy is inconsistent, and some sentences contain awkward phrasing or structural issues. For instance, phrases like "enhance indispensable and convenient accessibilities" could be simplified for clarity. Overall, while the essay conveys the main features of the maps, the grammatical range is somewhat limited, and errors are present.

How to improve:

Increase Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures to enhance the grammatical range. This could involve using more subordinate clauses and varied sentence openings.
Focus on Accuracy: Proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, ensure that subject-verb agreements are correct and that prepositions are used appropriately.
Clarify Ideas: Simplify complex phrases to improve clarity. Instead of "enhance indispensable and convenient accessibilities," consider using "improve access for residents."
Punctuation Practice: Pay attention to punctuation, especially in complex sentences, to ensure clarity and flow.

Bài sửa mẫu

The two maps provide information about how the center of Islip town will change due to its planned development. Overall, the maps illustrate significant modifications in facility placements and road infrastructure. Notably, a variety of new buildings will be constructed to enhance essential and convenient access for residents.

The first map describes the features of Islip town at present. The main road runs through the center of the town from west to east and is lined with two rows of shops. Remarkably, housing is situated in two prominent areas directly opposite the main road, which serves as the heart of the town. At the end of the map, the parking area in the southeast and the school in the southwest are located near the housing areas and are connected to the main road by two smaller paths.

Moving on to the second map, the main road will be transformed into a circular route, encircling almost every key facility in the town. A new pedestrian-only path will also be added among new constructions, which will include a bus station, shopping center car park, a new housing area, and a system of shops, which will be reduced in number to accommodate more buildings. In the southeast part of the map, the existing parking area will be smaller than before to make way for a new residential area. The two previous housing areas will be positioned on either side of the southern main road, which is in close proximity to the upgraded school.