In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling ínide these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless wehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling ínide these vehicles will be passengers.

Do you think the advantages of driverless wehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often claimed that vehicle transport such as cars, buses, trucks will have no driver, therefore there are only passengers travelling inside. While there are some advantages in no more cost for drivers as well as depending on them, and some disadvantages in handling technical problems and control system. I believe that the disadvantages outweigh advantages as the above mentioned problems.

One of the main positives of travelling inside vehicles without driver is that there is no need to expense for drivers. For example, commuting by cars, buses, trucks without drivers may minimise the annual month cost for users, especially students who have not much budget for living and studying. Another benefit of transporting without drivers is not relying on them. For example, entreupreneurs have urgent meeting, it would be more beneficial for them to own a car without driver since they can travel immediately rather than wait for driver coming to drive them.

However, one of the biggest disadvantages of travelling without driver is that it can not handle teachnica problems such as losing brake or breaking wheel. This may cause severe accident for passengers. Another negative effect if traveling without drivers is that there would be extreme problems if controlling system does not operate properly. For instance, passengers inside buses without drivers may face with negative problem which instruct wrong direction. This may lead to serious issues such as wrong location or accidents.

In conclusion, it would be benefical for user to own vehicle without driver. However, I believe that there may be more disadvantages than advantages of using this mean of transport due to technical issues or having problem with controlling system.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "vehicle transport such as cars, buses, trucks" -> "vehicle modes such as cars, buses, and trucks"
   Explanation: Adding "and" after "buses" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances the formal tone by using a conjunction to connect the items in the list.

2. "will have no driver" -> "will be driverless"
   Explanation: "Will be driverless" is a more concise and formal way to express the concept of vehicles without drivers.

3. "there are only passengers travelling inside" -> "there are only passengers on board"
   Explanation: "On board" is a more precise and formal term commonly used in transportation contexts, replacing the less formal "travelling inside."

4. "no more cost for drivers" -> "no additional cost for drivers"
   Explanation: "No additional cost" is more precise and avoids the awkward construction of "no more cost."

5. "depending on them" -> "reliance on them"
   Explanation: "Reliance on them" is a more formal and precise term that better fits the academic style.

6. "handling technical problems and control system" -> "addressing technical issues and control systems"
   Explanation: "Addressing technical issues" is more specific and formal than "handling technical problems," and "control systems" is plural to match the plural context.

7. "the above mentioned problems" -> "these issues"
   Explanation: "These issues" is more direct and avoids the vague reference to "the above mentioned."

8. "expense for drivers" -> "cost of employing drivers"
   Explanation: "Cost of employing drivers" is more specific and formal, clarifying the type of expense being discussed.

9. "annual month cost" -> "monthly expenses"
   Explanation: "Monthly expenses" corrects the grammatical error and is more precise.

10. "not relying on them" -> "not dependent on them"
    Explanation: "Not dependent on them" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing.

11. "entreupreneurs" -> "entrepreneurs"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "entrepreneurs."

12. "it would be more beneficial for them to own a car without driver" -> "it would be more advantageous for them to own a driverless car"
    Explanation: "Driverless car" is a more precise term, and "advantageous" is more formal than "beneficial."

13. "can not handle teachnica problems" -> "cannot handle technical problems"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "technical" and removes the unnecessary "can not" for a more formal tone.

14. "losing brake or breaking wheel" -> "losing brakes or experiencing wheel failure"
    Explanation: "Experiencing wheel failure" is a more precise and formal way to describe the malfunctioning of wheels.

15. "face with negative problem" -> "face negative problems"
    Explanation: "Face negative problems" corrects the grammatical structure and removes the unnecessary "with."

16. "it would be benefical" -> "it would be beneficial"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "beneficial."

17. "using this mean of transport" -> "using this mode of transportation"
    Explanation: "Mode of transportation" is the correct term, and "using this mode of transportation" is more formal and precise than "using this mean of transport."

These changes enhance the formal tone, improve grammatical accuracy, and clarify the meaning of the essay, making it more suitable for an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. The author mentions cost savings and independence from drivers as advantages, while highlighting technical issues and control problems as disadvantages. However, the discussion of advantages is somewhat limited, and the disadvantages are not fully explored in terms of their implications. For example, while the essay mentions technical failures, it does not elaborate on the potential consequences of such failures on safety or public perception.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should aim to provide a more balanced discussion by expanding on the advantages with additional examples and deeper analysis. Furthermore, the disadvantages could be elaborated upon to discuss broader implications, such as societal impacts or economic considerations, which would provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The author states a clear position that disadvantages outweigh advantages, which is consistent throughout the essay. However, the reasoning behind this position could be more robust. The conclusion reiterates the stance but does not fully synthesize the arguments made in the body paragraphs, leading to a somewhat abrupt ending.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the author should ensure that each paragraph clearly ties back to the central argument. A more developed conclusion that summarizes the key points made in the essay and reinforces the position would enhance the overall coherence of the argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, but the support for these ideas is often limited. For instance, while the author mentions cost savings, there is no statistical evidence or specific examples to substantiate this claim. Additionally, the discussion of technical problems lacks depth, as it does not explore potential solutions or comparisons to current driving scenarios.
  • How to improve: The author should aim to provide more detailed examples and evidence to support their claims. This could include citing studies on the cost-effectiveness of driverless technology or discussing real-world incidents involving autonomous vehicles. Extending ideas with relevant data or expert opinions would strengthen the argument and provide a more persuasive essay.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. However, there are instances where the phrasing is unclear or slightly off-topic, such as the phrase "may minimise the annual month cost for users," which could confuse readers. Additionally, the mention of "students" and "entrepreneurs" could be more clearly tied to the broader implications of driverless vehicles.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all examples are directly relevant to the main argument. Clarifying the language and ensuring that each example directly supports the thesis will help keep the essay on track. Using more precise language and avoiding vague references will enhance clarity and relevance.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, there is room for improvement in depth of analysis, clarity of position, and supporting evidence. By addressing these areas, the author can elevate their score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For example, the introduction mentions both advantages and disadvantages but does not clearly outline the structure that will follow. The transition from advantages to disadvantages feels abrupt and could benefit from clearer signaling. The main points are relevant, but the organization within paragraphs sometimes lacks clarity, leading to potential confusion for the reader.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using a more structured approach in the introduction, such as explicitly stating the points that will be discussed. For instance, you could say, "This essay will discuss the financial benefits of driverless vehicles and the potential safety risks they pose." Additionally, use transitional phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. However, some paragraphs could be more focused. For example, the first body paragraph mixes two distinct advantages (cost savings and independence from drivers) without a clear separation, which can dilute the impact of each point. The second body paragraph addresses multiple disadvantages but could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more focused discussion on each point.
  • How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. For example, start the advantages paragraph with a sentence like, "One significant advantage of driverless vehicles is the reduction in transportation costs." This will help maintain focus and clarity. Aim for one main idea per paragraph to enhance coherence.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "however," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some phrases are used repetitively. For instance, "for example" appears multiple times, and the phrase "travelling without driver" is used in a way that could be varied for better flow. Additionally, certain sentences lack clear connections, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using synonyms or alternative phrases, such as "in addition," "furthermore," or "on the other hand," to introduce new points or contrast ideas. Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one. For example, instead of simply stating "However," at the beginning of a sentence, you could say, "Despite these advantages, there are significant drawbacks to consider." This will create a smoother transition and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, focusing on clearer organization, more effective paragraphing, and a wider range of cohesive devices will help improve coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. Words such as "transport," "commuting," "entrepreneurs," and "beneficial" indicate some variety. However, the vocabulary is often repetitive, particularly with terms like "driver" and "passengers." Phrases like "no more cost for drivers" and "minimise the annual month cost" could be expressed more diversely to enhance the essay’s lexical richness.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "driver," alternatives like "operator" or "chauffeur" could be utilized. Additionally, phrases such as "financial burden" or "operational expenses" could replace "cost" to add variety.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that could lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "there are only passengers travelling inside" is vague and could be better articulated. The term "entrepreneurs" is used in a context that may not clearly convey the intended meaning, as it lacks specificity regarding the type of urgent meetings. Furthermore, the phrase "negative problem" is redundant, as "problem" alone suffices.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. For example, instead of "negative problem," simply stating "issue" or "challenge" would suffice. Clarifying the context for "entrepreneurs" by specifying what type of meetings they are attending would also improve clarity.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "índide" (inside), "wehicles" (vehicles), "teachnica" (technical), "benefical" (beneficial), and "commuting" (which is spelled correctly but used in a confusing context). These errors detract from the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Creating a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can also be beneficial. Additionally, reading more extensively can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic and attempts to address the prompt, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on these areas will enhance the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("It is often claimed that vehicle transport…") and compound sentences ("For example, commuting by cars, buses, trucks without drivers may minimise the annual month cost for users…"). However, the overall range is limited, with a noticeable reliance on basic sentence forms. More complex structures, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, are underutilized. For instance, the phrase "there are only passengers travelling inside" could be expanded to include more complex ideas, such as "In a future where vehicles are driverless, the only individuals present will be passengers, fundamentally changing the nature of transport."
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences. This can be achieved by using subordinate clauses (e.g., "Although there are benefits to driverless vehicles, the potential risks cannot be ignored") and varying sentence beginnings. Additionally, using a mix of declarative, interrogative, and exclamatory sentences can add interest and complexity to the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "therefore there are only passengers travelling inside" is awkwardly constructed and could be clearer with proper punctuation. The use of "can not" should be corrected to "cannot," and "teachnica" is a misspelling of "technical." Furthermore, the phrase "may face with negative problem" is incorrect; it should be "may face negative problems." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, also affect readability, particularly in complex sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and spelling mistakes. Practicing grammar exercises that target specific weaknesses can also be beneficial. Additionally, the writer should familiarize themselves with punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in compound and complex sentences. Reading more academic texts can help reinforce proper grammatical structures and punctuation use.

In summary, while the essay presents some relevant ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, it suffers from limited grammatical range and several accuracy issues. By diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is often claimed that vehicle modes such as cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless; therefore, there will only be passengers traveling inside. While there are some advantages, such as no additional cost for drivers and not relying on them, there are also disadvantages related to handling technical problems and control systems. I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages due to the issues mentioned above.

One of the main positives of traveling inside vehicles without drivers is that there is no need for expenses related to employing drivers. For example, commuting by cars, buses, and trucks without drivers may minimize the monthly expenses for users, especially students who do not have much budget for living and studying. Another benefit of transporting without drivers is that entrepreneurs can travel immediately. For instance, if they have an urgent meeting, it would be more advantageous for them to own a driverless car since they do not have to wait for a driver to arrive.

However, one of the biggest disadvantages of traveling without a driver is that these vehicles cannot handle technical problems such as losing brakes or experiencing wheel failure. This may cause severe accidents for passengers. Another negative effect of traveling without drivers is that there could be extreme problems if the control system does not operate properly. For instance, passengers inside buses without drivers may face negative issues, such as being instructed in the wrong direction. This may lead to serious problems, such as being taken to the wrong location or experiencing accidents.

In conclusion, it would be beneficial for users to own vehicles without drivers. However, I believe that there may be more disadvantages than advantages to using this mode of transportation due to technical issues and problems with control systems.