The bar chart shows the average prices per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003

The bar chart illustrates the average costs of clothing imported to the European Union from six distinct nations between 1993 and 2003.

From an overall perspective, it is clear that Argentina emerged as a leading exporter of garments, while Bangladesh was the least significant market for imports. In addition, with the exception of Argentina, Brazil, and Japan, the prices of garments imported from China, India, and Bangladesh increased between 1993 and 2003.

Turning to Argentina, Brazil, and Japan, the European Union imported the largest quantity of clothes from Argentina, at 28 pounds, followed by Brazil at 23 pounds and Japan at 15 pounds in 1993. During the following decade, although Argentina declined to 26 pounds, it maintained its top position. Nevertheless, in 2003, there was no variation in the prices from Brazil, whereas a modest drop to 13 pounds was observed in the costs of clothing exported from Japan.

In terms of the remaining nations, in 1993, China exported its garments to the EU at 10 pounds, while lower figures were recorded for India and Bangladesh, at 7 and 3 pounds, respectively. There was a substantial escalation in the costs of garments exported from these three countries, reaching roughly 18 pounds from China, which was 4 pounds higher than those from India, and three times higher than the costs from Bangladesh, which were 6 pounds.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The bar chart illustrates" -> "The bar chart depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more precise and formal term than "illustrates" when describing visual representations, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"average costs of clothing" -> "average costs of garments"
Explanation: "Garments" is a more specific and formal term than "clothing" in the context of international trade and economic analysis.
"six distinct nations" -> "six distinct countries"
Explanation: "Countries" is the correct term for referring to sovereign political entities, whereas "nations" can be ambiguous and less formal.
"least significant market" -> "least prominent market"
Explanation: "Prominent" is a more precise and formal adjective than "significant" in this context, better fitting the academic style.
"prices of garments" -> "prices of garments"
Explanation: This is a redundant repetition. The phrase "prices of garments" is already mentioned earlier in the sentence, so it’s unnecessary to repeat it.
"increased between 1993 and 2003" -> "increased over the period from 1993 to 2003"
Explanation: "Over the period from 1993 to 2003" provides a clearer and more formal temporal reference, enhancing the academic tone.
"the largest quantity of clothes" -> "the largest quantity of garments"
Explanation: Consistency in terminology is maintained by using "garments" instead of "clothes" to maintain the formal tone.
"declined to 26 pounds" -> "decreased to 26 pounds"
Explanation: "Decreased" is a more precise term than "declined" in this context, as it directly refers to a reduction in quantity or amount.
"no variation in the prices" -> "no change in the prices"
Explanation: "No change" is a more concise and formal way to express the absence of variation in prices.
"a modest drop to 13 pounds" -> "a moderate decrease to 13 pounds"
Explanation: "Moderate decrease" is a more precise and formal phrase than "modest drop," aligning better with academic language.
"substantial escalation" -> "significant increase"
Explanation: "Significant increase" is a more formal and precise term than "substantial escalation," which can imply a more dramatic change.
"roughly 18 pounds" -> "approximately 18 pounds"
Explanation: "Approximately" is a more formal and precise term than "roughly" in academic writing, indicating a close but not exact measurement.
"which was 4 pounds higher than those from India" -> "which was 4 pounds higher than those from India"
Explanation: This is a grammatical correction to ensure the sentence structure is complete and formal.
"three times higher than the costs from Bangladesh" -> "three times the costs from Bangladesh"
Explanation: Removing "the" before "costs" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more concise and formal.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main trends in the data. The essay also presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points, but some details are irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "Argentina emerged as a leading exporter of garments," but the chart shows that Argentina was the leading exporter in 1993, not overall. The essay also states that "there was no variation in the prices from Brazil," but the chart shows that the price of clothing imported from Brazil increased slightly between 1993 and 2003.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the most important trends in the data and by providing more accurate information. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language and by avoiding unnecessary repetition. For example, instead of saying "there was a substantial escalation in the costs of garments exported from these three countries," the essay could say "the price of clothing imported from China, India, and Bangladesh increased significantly between 1993 and 2003."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases and referencing, although there are instances of slight overuse, particularly in the repetitive structure of some sentences. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, but the overall cohesion could be improved by varying sentence structures and reducing redundancy. The paragraphing is adequate but could benefit from clearer thematic divisions to enhance readability.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the variety of cohesive devices used, ensuring that they do not become repetitive. Additionally, improving the clarity of paragraphing by introducing more distinct themes or points in each paragraph would help in achieving a more sophisticated organization. Lastly, incorporating more complex sentence structures could further enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying information about the bar chart. The use of terms such as "illustrates," "emerged," "leading exporter," and "modest drop" indicates an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "lower figures were recorded," which could be more precisely expressed. Additionally, while the vocabulary is adequate for the task, it lacks the sophistication and natural fluency characteristic of higher band scores. There are minor errors in spelling and word formation, but they do not impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of sophisticated vocabulary and phrases that convey precise meanings. This could include using synonyms for common words, employing more complex sentence structures, and ensuring that less common lexical items are used accurately. Additionally, minimizing errors in spelling and word formation will contribute to a more polished and professional essay. Practicing with advanced vocabulary and collocations relevant to the topic can also help achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, although there are a few minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "the prices of garments imported from China, India, and Bangladesh increased" could be clearer if rephrased to avoid ambiguity regarding the subject of the increase. Overall, the grammatical range is solid, but the presence of a few errors prevents a higher score.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on refining sentence structures to enhance clarity and reduce minor errors. Practicing complex sentence formation and ensuring that all clauses are correctly linked will help improve grammatical accuracy. Additionally, proofreading for any overlooked mistakes can further enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart illustrates the average costs of clothing imported into the European Union from six distinct nations between 1993 and 2003.

From an overall perspective, it is clear that Argentina emerged as a leading exporter of garments, while Bangladesh represented the least significant market for imports. In addition, with the exception of Argentina, Brazil, and Japan, the prices of garments imported from China, India, and Bangladesh increased between 1993 and 2003.

Turning to Argentina, Brazil, and Japan, the European Union imported the largest quantity of clothes from Argentina, at 28 pounds, followed by Brazil at 23 pounds and Japan at 15 pounds in 1993. During the following decade, although Argentina declined to 26 pounds, it maintained its top position. Nevertheless, in 2003, there was no change in the prices from Brazil, whereas a modest drop to 13 pounds was observed in the costs of clothing exported from Japan.

In terms of the remaining nations, in 1993, China exported its garments to the EU at 10 pounds, while lower figures were recorded for India and Bangladesh, at 7 and 3 pounds, respectively. There was a substantial increase in the costs of garments exported from these three countries, reaching roughly 18 pounds from China, which was 4 pounds higher than those from India, and three times higher than the costs from Bangladesh, which were 6 pounds.