People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? What are the solutions?

Individuals now have been facing many difficulties when living in big cities. The major problems are the escalating cost of living as well as air pollution. So the solution for these are stricter actions of government, and encourage city residents to move to regional areas.

The require for expensive daily lifestyles has been an issue for city dwellers. As house prices have increased significantly in recent years, making it increasingly difficult for for the young adults and low-income families to find affordable accommodation. For example, in Hanoi city, many residents have to owe money from the bank in order to pay the apartments' tax. Furthermore, the environmental pollution has led to the disease among individuals as more industrial companies take place. Many studies have shown that many adults suffer from lungs cancer due to the smog.

So the most viable solution for this is the implement of strict policies. By penalize tax for companies that released smoke which have not been under proccess. This can help cities to gain back its own fresh air and people do not have to suffer disease anymore. The authorities can also encourage individuals to live in urban areas as it will relieve the pressure on housing supply and it is good for citizens health.

In conclusion, severe air pollution and the high cost of living have been the most serious problems in modern cities. So the authorities should encourage people to live in urban area and punish heavily companies which have not exhausting smoke treatment

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Individuals now have been facing" -> "Individuals are currently facing"
Explanation: "Individuals now have been facing" is grammatically incorrect. "Individuals are currently facing" corrects the verb tense and aligns with formal academic style by using the present continuous tense to describe ongoing issues.
"the escalating cost of living as well as air pollution" -> "the escalating cost of living and air pollution"
Explanation: The phrase "as well as" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "and" for a more concise and formal expression in academic writing.
"So the solution for these are" -> "Therefore, the solutions to these issues are"
Explanation: "So the solution for these are" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Therefore, the solutions to these issues are" corrects the grammar and enhances formality.
"stricter actions of government" -> "more stringent government actions"
Explanation: "Stricter actions of government" is awkward and unclear. "More stringent government actions" is more precise and formal, clearly indicating the level of severity.
"encourage city residents to move to regional areas" -> "encourage city residents to relocate to regional areas"
Explanation: "Move to" is somewhat informal and vague. "Relocate to" is more specific and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"The require for expensive daily lifestyles" -> "The need for expensive daily lifestyles"
Explanation: "The require" is a typographical error. "The need" is the correct term, and it is more appropriate in formal writing.
"making it increasingly difficult for for the young adults and low-income families" -> "making it increasingly difficult for young adults and low-income families"
Explanation: The repetition of "for" is unnecessary and awkward. Removing it improves readability and maintains formal tone.
"owe money from the bank" -> "borrow money from the bank"
Explanation: "Owe money" is incorrect in this context. "Borrow money" is the correct term for taking out a loan from a bank.
"the apartments’ tax" -> "the apartment taxes"
Explanation: "The apartments’ tax" is grammatically incorrect. "The apartment taxes" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"released smoke which have not been under proccess" -> "released smoke that have not undergone processing"
Explanation: "Released smoke which have not been under proccess" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Released smoke that have not undergone processing" corrects these issues and enhances clarity.
"punish heavily companies which have not exhausting smoke treatment" -> "penalize heavily companies that have not exhausted smoke treatment"
Explanation: "Punish heavily" is informal and imprecise. "Penalize heavily" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing. Additionally, "exhausting" should be "exhausted" to match the correct form of the verb.
"urban area" -> "urban areas"
Explanation: "Urban area" should be plural to match the context of multiple locations, enhancing grammatical accuracy and formality.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and grammar to meet the standards of academic writing, ensuring clarity, precision, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying two significant problems—high cost of living and air pollution—and proposing solutions for each. The mention of government action and encouraging relocation to regional areas demonstrates an understanding of the task. However, the solutions could be more specific and detailed. For instance, while the essay suggests stricter government actions, it does not elaborate on what these actions might entail beyond penalizing companies.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more specific examples of potential solutions. For instance, discussing particular policies that could be implemented, such as subsidies for affordable housing or public transportation improvements, would strengthen the response. Additionally, addressing the problems more comprehensively by including other relevant issues, such as traffic congestion or social isolation, could provide a fuller picture.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the problems and solutions throughout. The writer consistently identifies the issues faced by city dwellers and suggests government intervention as a solution. However, the phrasing in the conclusion, particularly the suggestion to encourage people to live in urban areas, contradicts the earlier point about moving to regional areas, which could confuse the reader about the intended position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should ensure that all parts of the essay align with the main argument. Clarifying the intention behind encouraging urban living versus moving to regional areas would help. A more coherent conclusion that summarizes the key points without introducing new or conflicting ideas would also enhance clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to the problems and solutions but lacks depth in their development. For example, while the issue of air pollution is mentioned, the supporting details are minimal. The reference to studies on lung cancer is a good start, but it could be expanded with more data or examples to substantiate the claim. Similarly, the solutions proposed are somewhat vague and lack detailed explanation.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point. This could involve providing statistics, citing specific studies, or including real-world examples that illustrate the problems and solutions more effectively. Additionally, each solution could be broken down into actionable steps to demonstrate how they could be implemented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the problems of living in large cities and potential solutions. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the discussion of solutions. The suggestion to encourage people to move to urban areas seems contradictory to the initial identification of urban living as a problem.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all ideas presented directly relate to the problems outlined in the introduction. It would be beneficial to clearly link each solution back to the specific problem it addresses, reinforcing the relevance of each point made. A clear outline before writing could help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that all parts of the essay remain on topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, outlining the problems faced by city dwellers and proposing solutions. The introduction effectively introduces the topic, while the body paragraphs delve into specific issues and their corresponding solutions. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the high cost of living, followed by the environmental pollution issue. However, the transition between problems and solutions could be smoother; the connection between paragraphs sometimes feels abrupt, which can disrupt the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "In addition," "Moreover," or "Conversely" can help guide the reader through the argument more fluidly. For instance, after discussing the cost of living, a sentence like "Another significant issue is…" would create a more cohesive transition to the next problem.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct problem or solution. However, the paragraphs could be better structured. For instance, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer separation of ideas regarding the cost of living and air pollution. The final paragraph attempts to summarize the essay but does not effectively reiterate the solutions in a structured manner.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that encapsulates the main point, followed by evidence or examples. Furthermore, consider breaking down complex paragraphs into smaller ones to maintain clarity and focus. For example, separate the discussion of air pollution into its own paragraph to emphasize its significance.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "as well as" and "for example," which help link ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences lack clear connections, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument. For instance, the phrase "So the most viable solution for this is the implement of strict policies" could be more effectively connected to the previous paragraph.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a broader range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "therefore" to indicate a conclusion, "however" to present a contrast, and "in addition" to introduce additional information. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used correctly; for example, "the implement" should be corrected to "the implementation." Practicing the use of cohesive devices in different contexts can also help in mastering their application.

By addressing these areas, the essay can improve its coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "difficulties," "escalating cost of living," and "environmental pollution." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases such as "many difficulties" and "many residents." This limits the richness of the language used.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "many," alternatives like "numerous," "a plethora of," or "a significant number of" could be used. Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary related to urban issues, such as "urbanization," "socioeconomic challenges," or "sustainability," would elevate the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the require for expensive daily lifestyles" is awkward and unclear. The term "the implement of strict policies" should be "the implementation of strict policies." Such inaccuracies can confuse readers and detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For example, instead of "the require for expensive daily lifestyles," a clearer expression might be "the demand for a high cost of living." Furthermore, reviewing vocabulary in context and ensuring that phrases are grammatically correct will enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "for" instead of "of" in "for the young adults," "owe" instead of "borrow," "lungs cancer" instead of "lung cancer," and "proccess" instead of "process." These mistakes can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing exercises or using spelling apps. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times or using spell-check tools can help catch errors before submission. Learning the correct spelling of commonly used terms in the context of urban issues will also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary related to urban challenges, there is significant room for improvement in the range, precision, and spelling of vocabulary. By expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance their Lexical Resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex sentences that could enhance the depth of the argument. For instance, phrases like "Individuals now have been facing many difficulties" and "The major problems are the escalating cost of living as well as air pollution" are straightforward but lack complexity. The use of varied structures, such as subordinate clauses or conditional sentences, is minimal, which restricts the essay’s overall sophistication.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences. For example, instead of saying "The require for expensive daily lifestyles has been an issue for city dwellers," the writer could say, "The requirement for an expensive lifestyle has become a significant issue for city dwellers, particularly as housing costs continue to rise." This not only adds complexity but also improves the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "The require for expensive daily lifestyles" should be "The requirement for an expensive lifestyle." Additionally, phrases like "the implement of strict policies" are incorrect; it should be "the implementation of strict policies." There are also punctuation errors, such as missing commas that could help clarify meaning, especially in longer sentences. The phrase "By penalize tax for companies that released smoke which have not been under proccess" contains multiple errors, including the incorrect form of the verb "penalize" and the misspelling of "process."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for common errors and consider using grammar-checking tools. Additionally, studying the rules of subject-verb agreement and verb tenses can help. For instance, instead of "many adults suffer from lungs cancer," it should be "many adults suffer from lung cancer." Regular practice with writing exercises that focus on these areas can lead to improvement.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant ideas, the limited range of grammatical structures and the presence of grammatical errors significantly impact the clarity and effectiveness of the argument. By focusing on these areas, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Individuals are currently facing many difficulties when living in big cities. The major problems are the escalating cost of living as well as air pollution. Therefore, the solutions to these issues are stricter government actions and encouraging city residents to move to regional areas.

The need for expensive daily lifestyles has been an issue for city dwellers. As house prices have increased significantly in recent years, it has become increasingly difficult for young adults and low-income families to find affordable accommodation. For example, in Hanoi city, many residents have to borrow money from the bank in order to pay the apartment taxes. Furthermore, environmental pollution has led to diseases among individuals as more industrial companies take place. Many studies have shown that many adults suffer from lung cancer due to the smog.

So the most viable solution for this is the implementation of strict policies. By penalizing companies that release smoke that has not undergone processing, cities can regain their fresh air, and people will not have to suffer from diseases anymore. The authorities can also encourage individuals to relocate to regional areas, as this will relieve the pressure on housing supply and be beneficial for citizens’ health.

In conclusion, severe air pollution and the high cost of living have been the most serious problems in modern cities. Therefore, the authorities should encourage people to live in regional areas and heavily penalize companies that have not exhausted smoke treatment.