Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people.
Why is this the case?
What can be done to attract local people?

In recent years, several museums and historical destinations are primarily visited by tourists and not local residents. In my opinion, this trend is mainly caused by the less appealing (the lack of appeal) of these places and some of the solutions to solve this problem are meeting the demand of local tourism and upgrading the service.
Initially, local people are less mesmerized by these places for several reasons. Firstly, they have visited these places before and they have many chances to go to the museums and historic destinations every time they want. In contrast, tourists who come from other cities, especially other countries only have a few opportunities to explore since they just go to these types of places for a short period. Therefore, the local people rarely visit their city’s museums or historical sites which are always jam-packed with a huge volume of tourists. Secondly, some of the museums and historical sites are run down. This is simply because the government tends to pay more attention to healthcare, the education system, or defense, which are the fundamental aspects to ensure the well-being of their citizens as well as improve the standards of living. As a result, preserving historical sites is deprioritized and these types of places receive less money to refurbish some old and unhygienic destinations which makes them less attractive to local people.
Some feasible measures to encounter these issues are offering recreational activities and updating the services. The operator of the museum and historical site needs to operate more recreational activities related to the story and foundation of these places. When organizing events or workshops revolving around the history of these destinations, not only foreign tourists but also local people can be attracted to this event since it helps them to broaden their knowledge and widen their horizons. For instance, in Vietnam, the organization of the temple of Literature always operates many activities for both local and foreign tourists, therefore, it helps them promote their image and can attract more tourism. Additionally, the operators can upgrade the service. Although not having enough money to restore and reconstruct these places, museums and historical sites can still attract people if they offer high-quality services. To be more specific, they can enhance the attitudes of staff, provide many free services and always listen to the feedback of tourists. As a result, when people go to the historical sites where staff are polite and willing to help them, they will likely to want to go back to this place.
In conclusion, nowadays, the appeal of museums and historical sites is going down from the perspective of local residents since the occupants gain a deep insight into these places and most places where they have gone are dirty and unhygienic. To solve this problem, organizing more entertaining activities and enhancing the experience of local people when going to these places are optimal measures.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "several museums and historical destinations are primarily visited by tourists and not local residents" -> "several museums and historical destinations are predominantly visited by tourists rather than local residents"
   Explanation: The phrase "predominantly visited by tourists rather than local residents" is more precise and formal, improving the academic tone by avoiding the informal "primarily" and "not."

2. "the less appealing (the lack of appeal)" -> "the diminished appeal"
   Explanation: "The diminished appeal" is a more concise and formal expression, eliminating the redundancy of the original phrase.

3. "solutions to solve this problem" -> "solutions to address this issue"
   Explanation: "Address" is a more formal synonym for "solve," and "issue" is typically used in academic writing to refer to problems or concerns.

4. "less mesmerized by these places" -> "less drawn to these attractions"
   Explanation: "Drawn to" is a more precise and formal way to describe the attraction or interest in something, fitting better in an academic context.

5. "they have many chances to go to the museums and historic destinations every time they want" -> "they have frequent opportunities to visit museums and historic sites"
   Explanation: "Frequent opportunities" is more formal and precise than "many chances," and "visit" is more appropriate than "go to" in this context.

6. "jam-packed with a huge volume of tourists" -> "overcrowded with a large number of tourists"
   Explanation: "Overcrowded" is a more specific term than "jam-packed," and "large number" is more formal than "huge volume."

7. "the government tends to pay more attention to healthcare, the education system, or defense" -> "the government prioritizes healthcare, the education system, and defense"
   Explanation: "Prioritizes" is a more precise and formal verb than "tends to pay more attention to," and using "and" instead of "or" correctly reflects the inclusive nature of the government’s focus.

8. "preserving historical sites is deprioritized" -> "the preservation of historical sites is deprioritized"
   Explanation: Adding "the" before "preservation" clarifies the noun phrase and enhances the formality of the sentence.

9. "recreational activities related to the story and foundation of these places" -> "recreational activities centered on the history and origins of these sites"
   Explanation: "Centered on" is more precise and formal than "related to," and "history and origins" is a more specific and academic term than "story and foundation."

10. "not only foreign tourists but also local people can be attracted" -> "both foreign tourists and local residents can be attracted"
    Explanation: "Both" is more formal and inclusive than "not only… but also," and "residents" is a more precise term than "people" in this context.

11. "always listen to the feedback of tourists" -> "consistently solicit feedback from tourists"
    Explanation: "Consistently solicit" is more formal and precise than "always listen," and "from" is more appropriate than "of" in this context.

12. "they will likely to want to go back to this place" -> "they are likely to want to return to this location"
    Explanation: "Return" is more specific and formal than "go back," and "location" is more precise than "place" in an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons why local residents do not frequent museums and historical sites, such as their familiarity with these places and the perceived neglect of these sites. Additionally, it proposes solutions aimed at attracting local visitors, including organizing recreational activities and upgrading services. The use of specific examples, such as the activities at the Temple of Literature in Vietnam, strengthens the response.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could provide a broader range of reasons and solutions. For instance, discussing cultural factors that may influence local engagement with museums could add depth. Additionally, including more specific examples or case studies from various locations could enrich the argument and demonstrate a wider understanding of the issue.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that local residents are less inclined to visit museums due to both familiarity and the condition of these sites. The writer consistently supports this stance throughout the essay, linking the reasons to the proposed solutions effectively. However, the phrase "in my opinion" at the beginning could be perceived as less assertive, slightly undermining the strength of the position.
  • How to improve: To improve clarity and assertiveness, the writer could avoid hedging phrases like "in my opinion" and instead state the position more confidently. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in the conclusion could reinforce the stance and ensure that the reader is left with a strong impression of the writer’s viewpoint.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a range of ideas regarding the reasons for low local engagement and potential solutions. Each idea is generally well-supported with explanations and examples. However, some points, such as the discussion on government funding, could benefit from further elaboration to clarify the connection between funding priorities and local engagement.
  • How to improve: The writer should aim to extend their ideas by providing more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, elaborating on how specific recreational activities could be tailored to local interests would strengthen the argument. Additionally, integrating statistical data or studies could provide more substantial support for the claims made.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing both the reasons for low local visitation and the measures to increase it. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the discussion stays relevant to the prompt.
  • How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, the writer should ensure that every example directly ties back to the main argument. For instance, when discussing the need for better services, it could be beneficial to explicitly connect how these improvements would specifically appeal to local residents rather than tourists. This would enhance the relevance of each point made.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured response. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the writer could elevate their score even further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the issue and the writer’s opinion. The body paragraphs are organized to first discuss the reasons why local people do not visit museums and historical sites, followed by proposed solutions. This logical progression aids the reader’s understanding. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing local disinterest to the reasons behind it could be more explicitly connected to enhance clarity.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the main argument. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," or "In addition," can help guide the reader through the progression of ideas more seamlessly.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, such as reasons for local disinterest and proposed solutions. However, the paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. The first body paragraph is quite lengthy and could be split into two to better emphasize the distinct reasons for local disinterest.
  • How to improve: Aim for more balanced paragraphs by ensuring each one contains a single main idea supported by sufficient detail. For example, the first body paragraph could be divided into two: one focusing on the lack of novelty for locals and the other on the condition of the sites. This would allow for a more thorough exploration of each point.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Additionally," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be stronger. For example, the phrase "As a result" is used effectively, but other opportunities for cohesion are missed, such as linking the discussion of local disinterest directly to the proposed solutions.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Consequently," to connect problems to their effects, or "In contrast," to highlight differences between locals and tourists. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help maintain cohesion without repetitive phrasing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion with a clear structure and logical organization, there are areas for improvement in the balance of paragraphs, the use of cohesive devices, and the clarity of transitions. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance the overall flow and clarity of their argument, potentially raising their band score in future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "mesmerized," "run down," "recreational activities," and "enhance." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variety. For example, the phrase "museums and historical sites" is used multiple times without variation, which can detract from the overall lexical richness.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "museums and historical sites," you could use "cultural institutions," "heritage sites," or "historical landmarks." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to tourism and local engagement could elevate the essay’s lexical quality.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices. For example, the phrase "the lack of appeal" is somewhat vague and could be articulated more clearly. The term "jam-packed" is informal and might not be appropriate in an academic context. Additionally, the phrase "deprioritized" could be replaced with a more formal equivalent like "given lower priority."
  • How to improve: Aim for greater precision by selecting words that convey your ideas more clearly. For instance, instead of saying "less appealing," you might say "uninviting" or "uninspiring." When discussing the government’s focus, consider using "allocated resources" instead of "tends to pay more attention to," which would provide a clearer picture of the issue.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with only minor errors present. However, the phrase "the operator of the museum and historical site needs to operate more recreational activities" contains a redundancy that could be confusing. The term "operator" could be replaced with "management" for clarity.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading the essay carefully to catch any typographical errors or awkward phrases. Additionally, practicing spelling through vocabulary exercises or using tools like spell check can help ensure that spelling remains consistent and accurate throughout your writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, improving precision in word choice, and ensuring spelling accuracy will help elevate the Lexical Resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "this trend is mainly caused by the less appealing of these places and some of the solutions to solve this problem are meeting the demand of local tourism and upgrading the service." However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the sentence "In contrast, tourists who come from other cities, especially other countries only have a few opportunities to explore since they just go to these types of places for a short period" could be broken down or restructured for clarity and impact.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with the subject, try using adverbial clauses or phrases that provide context, such as "Despite the frequent visits by locals, tourists often find themselves drawn to these sites due to their limited time." This not only diversifies the structure but also adds depth to the argument.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some noticeable errors. For instance, the phrase "the less appealing (the lack of appeal) of these places" is awkwardly constructed and could confuse readers. Additionally, punctuation issues arise, such as in "tourists who come from other cities, especially other countries only have a few opportunities," where a comma is needed before "only" to separate the clauses properly. There are also instances of run-on sentences that could benefit from clearer punctuation to enhance readability.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on sentence clarity and punctuation. Review the rules for comma usage, particularly in complex sentences, to ensure proper clause separation. Furthermore, consider revising awkward phrases for clarity. For example, instead of "the less appealing (the lack of appeal) of these places," a clearer construction could be "the lack of appeal of these places." Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence structure can also help refine these skills.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, attention to sentence variety and grammatical precision will further enhance the writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, several museums and historical destinations are primarily visited by tourists and not local residents. In my opinion, this trend is mainly caused by the diminished appeal of these places, and some of the solutions to address this issue are meeting the demand of local tourism and upgrading the service.

Initially, local people are less drawn to these places for several reasons. Firstly, they have visited these locations before and have frequent opportunities to go to the museums and historic destinations whenever they want. In contrast, tourists who come from other cities, especially other countries, only have a few opportunities to explore since they visit these types of places for a short period. Therefore, local people rarely visit their city’s museums or historical sites, which are always overcrowded with a large number of tourists. Secondly, some of the museums and historical sites are run down. This is simply because the government tends to pay more attention to healthcare, the education system, and defense, which are fundamental aspects to ensure the well-being of their citizens and improve the standards of living. As a result, the preservation of historical sites is deprioritized, and these places receive less funding to refurbish old and unhygienic destinations, making them less attractive to local people.

Some feasible measures to encounter these issues are offering recreational activities and updating the services. The operators of the museums and historical sites need to organize more recreational activities related to the history and origins of these places. When organizing events or workshops revolving around the history of these destinations, not only foreign tourists but also local people can be attracted to these events since they help broaden their knowledge and widen their horizons. For instance, in Vietnam, the organization of the Temple of Literature consistently operates many activities for both local and foreign tourists, which helps promote their image and attract more visitors. Additionally, the operators can upgrade the service. Although they may not have enough money to restore and reconstruct these places, museums and historical sites can still attract people if they offer high-quality services. To be more specific, they can enhance the attitudes of staff, provide many free services, and consistently solicit feedback from tourists. As a result, when people visit historical sites where staff are polite and willing to help them, they are likely to want to return to these locations.

In conclusion, nowadays, the appeal of museums and historical sites is diminishing from the perspective of local residents since they gain a deep insight into these places, and most locations they have visited are dirty and unhygienic. To solve this problem, organizing more entertaining activities and enhancing the experience of local people when visiting these places are optimal measures.