Đề bài: The research indicates that nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative change?

Nowadays, there are many methods of introducing the production of mutitude manufactoring companies on the words by the development of the Internet. However, some studies found that advertising are losing their effectiveness in influencing to the consumers than it was in the past. From my perspective, there many reason for that issues and contend that represent for advantage development.
First and foremost , there are several factors contributing to decreasing of influenced advertising to customers, two of which are a better costumers awareness and the effects of economic downturn. In terms of costumers awareness, they can be raise awareness of the quality of production not equal to the advertising by poster, or overrated people to talke about them. For example, Some grocery items are illustrated by the famous people from the funding of factories so they are often exaggerated promotial quality of ones so people had made their awareness more critical and selective of purchase. In addition to the effects of economic downturns, the budgets of many families are managed for prioritize essential spending rather than personal favourite. As a consequence, that are reasons why customers are not being affected by advertising.
From my mothercase, the falled influence of advertising to spending of people is beneficial for individuals and society. To benefical society, Some manufactoring companies should concerntrate to foster their innovation and product quality while they only focus to the marketing strategy. Moreover, this change will led to increase mindful costumer behaviours, due to circumstances that they truthfully need, thus saving money and reducing financial burden. As a results, the environments can be less effective than because of falling disposal production and gas emission of the factories.
In conclusion, better costumers awareness and effects of economic downturn are main reasons for reducing believed people on the advertising. In my opinion, It should become the positive trends in the future.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"mutitude manufactoring companies" -> "numerous manufacturing companies"
Explanation: "Mutitude" is a typographical error; "numerous" is the correct term to describe a large number of companies. "Manufactoring" should be "manufacturing" for grammatical correctness.
"on the words by the development of the Internet" -> "through the development of the Internet"
Explanation: "On the words" is unclear and incorrect. "Through" is the correct preposition to indicate the means by which something is achieved.
"advertising are losing their effectiveness" -> "advertising is losing its effectiveness"
Explanation: "Advertising" is a singular noun and should be treated as such in this context. "Its" is the possessive form needed here.
"influencing to the consumers" -> "influencing consumers"
Explanation: "Influencing to the consumers" is grammatically incorrect. "Influencing consumers" is the correct form.
"there many reason for that issues" -> "there are many reasons for these issues"
Explanation: "There many reason" is grammatically incorrect. "There are many reasons" corrects the number and verb agreement, and "these issues" is more precise than "that issues."
"represent for advantage development" -> "represent an advantage in development"
Explanation: "Represent for advantage development" is awkward and unclear. "Represent an advantage in development" is clearer and more grammatically correct.
"decreasing of influenced advertising to customers" -> "decrease in the influence of advertising on customers"
Explanation: "Decreasing of influenced advertising to customers" is awkward and incorrect. "Decrease in the influence of advertising on customers" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"costumers awareness" -> "consumer awareness"
Explanation: "Costumers" is a typographical error; "consumer" is the correct term.
"can be raise awareness" -> "can raise awareness"
Explanation: "Can be raise" is grammatically incorrect. "Can raise" is the correct form.
"overrated people to talke about them" -> "overrated individuals to talk about them"
Explanation: "Overrated people" is somewhat informal and "talke" is a typographical error. "Overrated individuals" and "talk" are more formal and correct.
"Some grocery items are illustrated by the famous people from the funding of factories" -> "Some grocery items are endorsed by famous individuals from the funding of factories"
Explanation: "Illustrated" is not the correct term here; "endorsed" is more appropriate for describing advertising. "Famous people" is informal; "famous individuals" is more formal.
"overrated people" -> "celebrities"
Explanation: "Overrated people" is informal and vague; "celebrities" is specific and appropriate in this context.
"foster their innovation and product quality" -> "foster innovation and improve product quality"
Explanation: "Foster their innovation" is redundant; "foster innovation" is sufficient and more direct.
"concerntrate" -> "concentrate"
Explanation: "Concerntrate" is a typographical error; "concentrate" is the correct word.
"led to increase mindful costumer behaviours" -> "leads to increased mindful consumer behavior"
Explanation: "Led" is incorrect tense; "leads" is the correct tense for a general statement. "Costumer" is a typographical error; "consumer" is correct. "Behavior" should be "behavior" for consistency in American English.
"truthfully need" -> "genuinely need"
Explanation: "Truthfully" is not the correct adverb here; "genuinely" is more appropriate to describe the sincerity of need.
"As a results" -> "As a result"
Explanation: "As a results" is grammatically incorrect; "As a result" is the correct form.
"less effective than because of falling disposal production and gas emission" -> "less effective due to decreasing disposal production and gas emissions"
Explanation: "Less effective than because of" is awkward and incorrect. "Less effective due to" is grammatically correct and clearer. "Gas emission" should be pluralized to "gas emissions" for consistency and accuracy.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons consumers are less influenced by advertising and presenting a viewpoint on whether this change is positive or negative. The reasons provided include increased consumer awareness and the impact of economic downturns. However, the explanation of these reasons lacks depth and clarity. For instance, the point about consumer awareness is mentioned but not thoroughly explored, and the economic downturn is only briefly touched upon without sufficient elaboration.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each reason is fully developed with clear examples and explanations. For instance, they could elaborate on how consumer awareness has evolved and provide specific examples of how this affects purchasing decisions. Additionally, discussing the implications of these reasons on advertising strategies could provide a more comprehensive answer.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the decline in advertising influence is a positive change. However, this stance is somewhat muddled by the phrasing and structure of the argument. For example, the phrase "content that represent for advantage development" is vague and does not clearly articulate the writer’s position. The conclusion restates the opinion but does not reinforce it effectively.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and conclusion. Using clear and direct language will help convey their stance more effectively. Additionally, each paragraph should link back to the main argument, ensuring that the reader understands how each point supports the overall position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the reasons for the decline in advertising influence, but these ideas are not well-supported. For example, the mention of "famous people" in advertising lacks a concrete example or explanation of how this affects consumer perception. The support for the claim that reduced advertising influence is beneficial is also weak, as it does not provide sufficient evidence or examples to substantiate the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the development and support of ideas, the writer should include specific examples and data where possible. For instance, citing studies or statistics that show changing consumer behaviors or preferences would strengthen the argument. Additionally, expanding on each point with relevant details and examples will help to create a more robust and persuasive essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the reasons for reduced advertising influence and discussing its implications. However, there are instances where the focus wavers, such as in the discussion of "mindful customer behaviors," which could be more directly tied back to the main argument. The phrase "the environments can be less effective" is also unclear and detracts from the overall focus.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. They could also use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clarify how the content relates to the main argument. Ensuring clarity in language and avoiding vague phrases will help keep the essay on topic and enhance overall coherence.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score by demonstrating a more thorough understanding of the prompt and presenting a clearer, more supported argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are generally organized logically, with the first body paragraph addressing the reasons for the decline in advertising effectiveness and the second discussing the implications of this change. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing consumer awareness to economic downturns lacks a clear connective phrase that would guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely." This will help the reader follow the progression of thoughts more easily. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea will strengthen the overall organization.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be more clearly defined. For example, the first body paragraph could be split into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on consumer awareness and the other on economic factors. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by relevant examples. Aim for a consistent structure within paragraphs, starting with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details, and concluding with a summary or transition to the next idea. This will enhance clarity and coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost" and "in addition," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is limited, and some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as "the falled influence of advertising." Additionally, the use of "that are reasons" is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "for instance," "as a result," "on the other hand," and "in contrast." This will not only improve the flow of the essay but also enhance clarity. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will help eliminate awkward phrases and improve overall coherence.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to an improved band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, such as "manufacturing," "economic downturn," and "mindful customer behaviors." However, the range is limited, and there are instances of repetitive language, particularly with terms like "advertising" and "customers." For example, the phrase "the falled influence of advertising" shows a lack of variation in expressing the concept of advertising’s diminishing impact.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "advertising," alternatives like "promotional strategies," "marketing," or "advertisements" could be employed. Additionally, using more sophisticated vocabulary related to consumer behavior and economic factors would elevate the essay’s lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the production of mutitude manufactoring companies on the words" which is unclear and awkwardly phrased. Furthermore, "influenced advertising to customers" should be "the influence of advertising on customers." The phrase "beneficial for individuals and society" is vague and lacks specificity regarding how it benefits them.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and correctness in word choice. For example, instead of "the production of mutitude manufactoring companies," a clearer phrase could be "the products of numerous manufacturing companies." Additionally, revising vague phrases to specify how advertising influences consumer behavior would enhance the overall clarity of the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "mutitude" (should be "multitude"), "costumers" (should be "customers"), "falled" (should be "failed"), and "benefical" (should be "beneficial"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that provide feedback. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times before submission can help catch spelling mistakes. Reading more widely can also improve spelling through exposure to correctly spelled words in context.

Overall, while the essay meets some basic requirements for vocabulary usage, there are significant areas for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and improve their overall IELTS score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complex structures that could enhance the depth of the argument. For example, the sentence "However, some studies found that advertising are losing their effectiveness in influencing to the consumers than it was in the past" is a compound sentence but could be improved by incorporating subordinate clauses to convey more nuanced ideas. Additionally, phrases like "there are many methods of introducing" and "there are several factors contributing" are repetitive and do not showcase a variety of grammatical forms.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, instead of saying "there are several factors contributing," the writer could say, "Several factors contribute to the decline in advertising effectiveness, including…" This not only varies the structure but also makes the writing more engaging. Incorporating relative clauses (e.g., "which have been shown to…") and conditional sentences (e.g., "If consumers are more aware, they…") can also enhance complexity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "advertising are losing their effectiveness" should be "advertising is losing its effectiveness," reflecting subject-verb agreement. Additionally, phrases like "influencing to the consumers" are awkward; it should simply be "influencing consumers." Punctuation errors, such as the incorrect spacing before commas (e.g., "First and foremost , there are…") and the misuse of "to" in "influencing to the consumers," detract from the overall readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation, especially ensuring that commas are placed correctly and that there are no unnecessary spaces, will enhance the overall quality of the writing. Reading more academic texts can also help the writer internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

In summary, while the essay presents relevant ideas, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation will significantly raise the overall quality of the writing. Regular practice and careful proofreading are essential steps towards achieving a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, there are many methods of introducing the production of numerous manufacturing companies through the development of the Internet. However, some studies have found that advertising is losing its effectiveness in influencing consumers compared to the past. From my perspective, there are many reasons for these issues and I contend that they represent an advantage in development.

First and foremost, there are several factors contributing to the decrease in the influence of advertising on customers, two of which are better consumer awareness and the effects of economic downturns. In terms of consumer awareness, they can raise awareness of the quality of production that is not equal to the advertising by posters, or overrated individuals talking about them. For example, some grocery items are endorsed by famous individuals from the funding of factories, so they often exaggerate the promotional quality of these products, leading people to become more critical and selective in their purchases. In addition to the effects of economic downturns, the budgets of many families are managed to prioritize essential spending rather than personal favorites. As a consequence, these are reasons why customers are not being affected by advertising.

From my perspective, the fallen influence of advertising on people’s spending is beneficial for individuals and society. To benefit society, some manufacturing companies should concentrate on fostering their innovation and improving product quality while they focus on marketing strategies. Moreover, this change will lead to increased mindful consumer behavior, as they genuinely need to save money and reduce financial burdens. As a result, the environment can be less affected due to decreasing disposal production and gas emissions from factories.

In conclusion, better consumer awareness and the effects of economic downturns are the main reasons for the reduced belief in advertising. In my opinion, this should become a positive trend in the future.