The table shows how patients evaluated different services at three health centres. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table shows how patients evaluated different services at three health centres.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and
make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table provides an overview of how patients rated services at three health centers: Longston, Peveril, and Marchbank, across five service aspects. The Peveril Centre received the highest overall rating with an average of 8.3, while Longston scored the lowest at 5.8, and Marchbank fell in between with 7.2.

Peveril Centre was the best performer in all categories, especially excelling in "Response to concerns" 9.6 and "Booking appointments" 9.1. This indicates a strong emphasis on patient interaction and efficient service management. On the other hand, Longston received the poorest ratings across multiple aspects, most notably in "Response to concerns" 4.3 and "Pharmacy" 5.1, suggesting significant room for improvement. Despite this, its "Doctors’ service" was relatively well-regarded with a score of 8.0.

Marchbank Centre showed moderate performance, with its highest score in "Doctors' service" 8.4, but lower scores in "Response to concerns" 6.5 and "Pharmacy" 5.8. The variability in scores suggests that Marchbank is performing reasonably well in some areas but needs to address specific weaknesses.

In conclusion, while Peveril Centre leads in patient satisfaction across all services, Longston needs improvement in most areas except for "Doctors’ service," and Marchbank’s performance is more balanced but still has areas needing enhancement.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The table provides an overview" -> "The table presents an overview"
   Explanation: "Presents" is a more formal and precise verb than "provides" in academic contexts, enhancing the professionalism of the language.

2. "highest overall rating" -> "highest overall score"
   Explanation: "Score" is more specific and academically precise than "rating," which can be somewhat vague and informal.

3. "fell in between" -> "ranked between"
   Explanation: "Ranked between" is more formal and specific, fitting better in an academic context than the colloquial "fell in between."

4. "especially excelling in" -> "particularly excelling in"
   Explanation: "Particularly" is more formal and precise than "especially," which can be seen as slightly informal.

5. "efficient service management" -> "efficient management of services"
   Explanation: "Management of services" is a more formal and precise phrase, aligning better with academic style.

6. "received the poorest ratings" -> "received the lowest ratings"
   Explanation: "Lowest" is more precise and formal than "poorest," which can imply a subjective evaluation.

7. "significant room for improvement" -> "substantial scope for improvement"
   Explanation: "Scope" is a more formal and precise term than "room," which is colloquial.

8. "relatively well-regarded" -> "generally well-regarded"
   Explanation: "Generally" is a more formal and neutral term than "relatively," which can be seen as slightly informal.

9. "showed moderate performance" -> "displayed moderate performance"
   Explanation: "Displayed" is a more formal verb than "showed," which is suitable for an academic context.

10. "needs to address specific weaknesses" -> "requires addressing specific weaknesses"
    Explanation: "Requires addressing" is more formal and precise, fitting better in academic writing than "needs to address."

11. "leads in patient satisfaction" -> "leads in patient satisfaction ratings"
    Explanation: Adding "ratings" clarifies the context and enhances precision, making the statement more specific and formal.

12. "needs improvement in most areas" -> "requires improvement in most aspects"
    Explanation: "Requires" is more formal than "needs," and "aspects" is a more precise term than "areas" in this context.

13. "still has areas needing enhancement" -> "still requires enhancement in certain areas"
    Explanation: "Requires enhancement in certain areas" is more formal and precise, improving the academic tone of the conclusion.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main trends in the data. It also presents and highlights key features/bullet points, such as the highest and lowest scores for each health centre. However, the essay could be more fully extended by providing more detailed comparisons between the health centres. For example, the essay could compare the scores for each service aspect across all three health centres, rather than just focusing on the highest and lowest scores.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed comparisons between the health centres. For example, the essay could compare the scores for each service aspect across all three health centres, rather than just focusing on the highest and lowest scores. The essay could also be improved by providing more specific examples to support the general statements made about the data. For example, instead of simply stating that Peveril Centre received the highest overall rating, the essay could provide specific examples of how Peveril Centre excelled in each service aspect.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. Each health center is discussed in a structured manner, with comparisons made between their ratings. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are instances where the transitions could be smoother, indicating some under-use in certain areas. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, focusing on the performance of each health center, which aligns well with the requirements for a Band 7 score.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could work on varying the use of cohesive devices to avoid repetition and ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, improving the logical flow of information by perhaps summarizing the main points of each health center before transitioning to comparisons could strengthen the overall structure. Finally, ensuring that paragraphing is consistently logical and that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main topic would help in achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for flexibility and precision in conveying the main features of the data presented. The use of terms such as "overall rating," "best performer," "emphasis on patient interaction," and "significant room for improvement" indicates an awareness of style and context. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "excelling in" which could be more precisely expressed as "receiving high ratings in." Additionally, while the vocabulary is appropriate, it does not showcase the level of sophistication expected for a higher band score. There are no significant errors in spelling or word formation, which supports the assigned score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could incorporate a wider range of less common lexical items and demonstrate more sophisticated control over word choice and collocation. Additionally, minimizing any inaccuracies in vocabulary usage and enhancing the variety of expressions used to describe the data would strengthen the lexical resource. Engaging more with synonyms and nuanced vocabulary would also contribute to a more sophisticated lexical presentation.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The grammatical range is good, with the writer effectively using different structures to convey comparisons and evaluations of the health centers. However, there are a few minor errors and awkward phrasings that slightly detract from the overall accuracy, such as the lack of commas in some compound sentences and minor punctuation issues. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good, but the presence of these errors prevents a higher score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on refining sentence structures to ensure clarity and accuracy. This includes careful proofreading to eliminate minor errors and enhancing the variety of grammatical forms used. Additionally, practicing the use of more complex sentences with appropriate punctuation will help improve the overall grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table provides an overview of how patients rated services at three health centres: Longston, Peveril, and Marchbank, across five service aspects. The Peveril Centre received the highest overall rating with an average of 8.3, while Longston scored the lowest at 5.8, and Marchbank fell in between with a score of 7.2.

Peveril Centre was the best performer in all categories, particularly excelling in "Response to concerns" with a score of 9.6 and "Booking appointments" at 9.1. This indicates a strong emphasis on patient interaction and efficient service management. Conversely, Longston received the poorest ratings across multiple aspects, most notably in "Response to concerns" with a score of 4.3 and "Pharmacy" at 5.1, suggesting significant room for improvement. Despite this, its "Doctors’ service" was relatively well-regarded, achieving a score of 8.0.

Marchbank Centre demonstrated moderate performance, with its highest score in "Doctors’ service" at 8.4, but lower scores in "Response to concerns" at 6.5 and "Pharmacy" at 5.8. The variability in scores suggests that Marchbank is performing reasonably well in some areas but needs to address specific weaknesses.