Imagine that you work for Hudson Design. Write an e-mail to Human Resources.

Dear Human Resources Team.

I’m a graphic designer. I like Hudson Design INC company because of beautiful view, moreover, it located in New York. My colleagues are friendly and helpful. There’s a lot of variety in my job. My work always changes and this is very interesting.

However, There are some problems I don’t like about my job. My boss always announces the project too late. The deadline is too fast, so as to complete the project on time, I have to work all night. The workload is big, boss is never satisfied with my product. He asked me to give him it each day. I’m under pressure and stressed.

My work start at 8 a. m to 9. pm, I don't even take a nap at break time, so my health declines. However, my salary is not what I expected.

I think the company should hire more employees in this possition, reduce workload and let staff works in flexible hours. In addition, I think boss should announces project early and have a clear goal for everyone. I hope the boss gives me 2 days off at week to relax.

I hope my ideas are useful.
What do you think?
This is funny writing
Funny
I love this writing
Love
This writing has blown my mind
Wow
It made me angry
Angry
It made me sad
Sad

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Dear Human Resources Team." -> "Dear Human Resources Department."
Explanation: "Department" is more formal and appropriate in an academic or professional context than "Team," which can be too casual for formal correspondence.
"I’m" -> "I am"
Explanation: In formal writing, contractions should be avoided for clarity and formality.
"I like Hudson Design INC company" -> "I am interested in Hudson Design INC as a company"
Explanation: "I am interested in" is more formal and precise than "I like," which is too casual for formal writing.
"because of beautiful view, moreover, it located in New York" -> "due to its beautiful views and its location in New York"
Explanation: "Due to" is more formal than "because of," and "its location" is grammatically correct compared to "it located." Also, "views" should be plural to match the plural subject "company."
"My colleagues are friendly and helpful." -> "My colleagues are cooperative and supportive."
Explanation: "Cooperative and supportive" are more formal terms than "friendly and helpful," which are somewhat informal for an academic or professional context.
"There’s a lot of variety in my job." -> "My job offers considerable variety."
Explanation: "Offers considerable variety" is more formal and precise than "There’s a lot of variety."
"My work always changes and this is very interesting." -> "My work is constantly evolving, which is highly engaging."
Explanation: "Constantly evolving" and "highly engaging" are more precise and formal than "always changes" and "very interesting."
"However, There are some problems I don’t like about my job." -> "However, there are certain aspects of my job that I dislike."
Explanation: "Certain aspects" is more formal than "some problems," and "dislike" is more formal than "don’t like."
"My boss always announces the project too late." -> "My boss consistently delays project announcements."
Explanation: "Consistently delays" is more formal and precise than "always announces too late."
"The deadline is too fast, so as to complete the project on time, I have to work all night." -> "The deadlines are excessively tight, requiring me to work late into the night."
Explanation: "Excessively tight" and "requiring me to work late into the night" are more precise and formal than "too fast" and "work all night."
"The workload is big, boss is never satisfied with my product." -> "The workload is substantial, and my boss is never satisfied with my output."
Explanation: "Substantial" is more formal than "big," and "output" is a more precise term than "product" in this context.
"He asked me to give him it each day." -> "He requests daily updates from me."
Explanation: "Requests daily updates from me" is more formal and clear than "asked me to give him it each day."
"I’m under pressure and stressed." -> "I am under considerable pressure and stress."
Explanation: "Considerable pressure and stress" is more formal and precise than "pressure and stressed."
"My work start at 8 a. m to 9. pm" -> "My work begins at 8 a.m. and extends to 9 p.m."
Explanation: "Begins at" and "extends to" are more formal and precise than "start at" and "to."
"I don’t even take a nap at break time, so my health declines." -> "I do not even take a nap during breaks, which has negatively impacted my health."
Explanation: "Do not" is more formal than "don’t," and "during breaks" is more precise than "at break time." Also, "has negatively impacted" is more formal than "declines."
"However, my salary is not what I expected." -> "However, my salary does not meet my expectations."
Explanation: "Does not meet my expectations" is more formal and precise than "is not what I expected."
"I think the company should hire more employees in this possition" -> "I believe the company should hire additional staff in this position"
Explanation: "Believe" is more formal than "think," and "additional staff" is more precise than "more employees in this possition" (typo corrected).
"reduce workload and let staff works in flexible hours" -> "reduce the workload and allow staff to work flexible hours"
Explanation: "Allow staff to work flexible hours" is grammatically correct and more formal than "let staff works in flexible hours."
"I think boss should announces project early" -> "I believe the boss should announce projects earlier

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the writer’s experience at Hudson Design and suggesting improvements. However, it lacks a formal structure typical of a professional email, such as a clear subject line or proper closing. The response does not fully explore the implications of the issues raised or the potential benefits of the suggested changes. For example, while the writer mentions the need for more employees and flexible hours, the rationale behind these suggestions is not sufficiently elaborated.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should ensure that the email follows a formal structure, including a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Additionally, providing more context for the suggestions, such as how they could improve productivity or employee morale, would enhance the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer expresses dissatisfaction with their workload and management style, but the position is somewhat muddled by informal language and abrupt transitions. Phrases like "this is funny writing" and "it made me angry" detract from the seriousness of the message and create confusion about the writer’s true feelings.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should avoid informal comments and focus on articulating their concerns and suggestions in a professional tone. A clear thesis statement at the beginning of the email outlining the main points would help guide the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay presents some ideas regarding workload and management, these ideas are not well-developed or supported with specific examples. For instance, the mention of working long hours lacks detail about how this affects productivity or employee well-being. The suggestions for improvement are somewhat vague and do not provide a compelling argument for their necessity.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each point made, providing specific examples or data to support their claims. For instance, discussing how flexible hours could lead to better work-life balance and increased productivity would strengthen the argument. Each suggestion should be clearly linked to the issues raised.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the writer’s job and suggestions for improvement. However, the inclusion of informal remarks and unrelated comments at the end distracts from the main focus of the email. Phrases like "This is funny writing" and "It made me angry" do not contribute to the professional tone expected in a workplace communication.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should avoid informal language and ensure that all content directly relates to the issues at hand. Concluding the email with a professional closing statement that reiterates the main points would help reinforce the topic.

Overall, the essay requires significant improvements in structure, clarity, and professionalism to effectively communicate the writer’s concerns and suggestions to Human Resources.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents information in a generally logical order, starting with positive aspects of the job before transitioning to the challenges faced. However, the flow could be improved. For instance, the shift from discussing the enjoyable aspects of the job to the problems is somewhat abrupt. The reader may benefit from clearer transitions between these sections. The final suggestions for improvement are somewhat scattered and could be more cohesively tied to the problems mentioned earlier.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "On the other hand," or "In contrast," when moving from positive to negative aspects. Additionally, grouping related ideas together and ensuring a clear progression from problems to solutions will help create a more cohesive narrative.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks effective paragraphing, which can hinder readability and clarity. Currently, the entire email is presented as a single block of text. This makes it difficult for the reader to identify the main points and follow the argument. Each main idea should ideally be contained within its own paragraph.
- How to improve: Implement a clear paragraph structure by starting a new paragraph for each distinct idea or theme. For example, one paragraph could focus on the positive aspects of the job, another on the challenges, and a third on suggestions for improvement. This will not only enhance readability but also help in organizing thoughts more clearly.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however" and "in addition," but the range is limited. Additionally, there are instances where cohesive devices are misused or could be more effectively applied. For example, "so as to complete the project on time" is somewhat awkward and could be simplified for clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "consequently," and "for instance." Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to enhance clarity. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can help in becoming more comfortable with their application.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary relevant to the context of a workplace email. Phrases like "graphic designer," "friendly and helpful," and "workload" are appropriate; however, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks sophistication. For instance, the phrase "my boss always announces the project too late" could be enhanced by using synonyms or more varied expressions.
- How to improve: To enhancelexical variety, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more descriptive language. For example, instead of "friendly and helpful," consider using "supportive and approachable." Additionally, varying sentence structures and using phrases like "timely communication" instead of "announces the project too late" can enrich the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that affect clarity. For example, "the deadline is too fast" is awkward; "too tight" would be a more appropriate choice. Similarly, "my product" could be replaced with "my work" or "my deliverables" to convey the intended meaning more clearly.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended message. Reviewing synonyms and context-specific terms can help. For instance, instead of "big workload," using "heavy workload" or "excessive workload" would be more precise.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "possition" (should be "position") and "announces" (should be "announce"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the email and may confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the text aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task and relevant vocabulary, improvements in variety, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, such as "I’m a graphic designer" and "My colleagues are friendly and helpful." While there are some attempts at complex sentences, such as "so as to complete the project on time, I have to work all night," the overall range is insufficient to convey nuanced ideas effectively. The use of transitional phrases is minimal, which affects the flow and coherence of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "My boss always announces the project too late," you could say, "Although my boss always announces the project too late, I try to manage my time effectively." Additionally, using a variety of conjunctions and transition words can help improve the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For instance, "it located in New York" should be "it is located in New York." The phrase "However, There are some problems" incorrectly capitalizes "There." Additionally, the sentence "My work start at 8 a. m to 9. pm" has subject-verb agreement issues and punctuation errors; it should read "My work starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 9 p.m." Furthermore, the use of commas is inconsistent, such as in "the workload is big, boss is never satisfied," which should be revised to "the workload is big; my boss is never satisfied."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review subject-verb agreement and proper verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on common errors can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that sentences are complete and correctly structured will improve overall clarity. Utilizing grammar checking tools may also help identify mistakes before submission.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Subject:** Feedback and Suggestions for Improvement

Dear Human Resources Team,

I am a graphic designer at Hudson Design INC, and I appreciate the company for its beautiful views and its location in New York. My colleagues are cooperative and supportive, and there is considerable variety in my job. My work is constantly evolving, which is highly engaging.

However, there are certain aspects of my job that I dislike. My boss consistently delays project announcements, which makes it challenging to plan effectively. The deadlines are excessively tight, requiring me to work late into the night to complete projects on time. The workload is substantial, and my boss is never satisfied with my output. He requests daily updates from me, which adds to the pressure I feel.

My work begins at 8 a.m. and extends to 9 p.m., and I do not even take a nap during breaks, which has negatively impacted my health. Additionally, my salary does not meet my expectations.

I believe the company should hire additional staff in this position to help reduce the workload and allow employees to work flexible hours. Furthermore, I think my boss should announce projects earlier and establish clear goals for everyone involved. I hope the boss can consider giving me two days off each week to relax and recharge.

I hope my suggestions are helpful.

What do you think?

Best regards,
[Your Name]
[Your Position]
Hudson Design INC