Environmental pollution is a vital concern of every country in the world. What are reasons for this and what are solutions?

Our enviroment is most precious and special gift for human. The environment includes the living beings on earth such as animals, plants and humans. It plays an important role to our people’s life. It brings pure ambience, the natural habitats for cratures and many other significant advantages.Although the enviroment contribute great benefits, it is still thor being threated by a number of factors.
Firstly, air pollution is of the most popular types of pollution. It comes from exhausted fumes from industrial area, and the emissions from vehicles. It is realeased into the air, caused bad consequences to residents. Air pollution also causes smog, it makes people difficult to breathe and hard to see anything. There are many causes of this issues. It is the increasing of population in a variety of countries. For example, in India, it is estimated that every 2 seconds, India's population increases 1 person, nearly about 41 thousand people are added everyday and about 15 million people added every year. Because of the rising number of population, the demand of using the transport, vehicles, factories is risen. This leaves worse impacts on general life.

In addition, it’s appearance of greenhouse effect. It’s a process when gases in Earth’s atmosphere trap the sun heat, that makes Earth much warmer and warmer. Besides that, the surging of greenhouse gases such as carbondioxide and carbon monoxide bring many terrible effects. The surface of Earth will be hot through each year. Moreover, it can deplete natures resources, a myriad of creatures will be disappeared and the wildlife habitats will be damdged .
With many terrible factor, the environmet need to be improved in the future, helping individuals have a better life. The goberment who are responsible to this problem have to know the importance of nature. They need impose strict laws and heavy taxes to decrease the pollution. Reducing one's carbon footprint is also best solution to solve this problem. The individuals have to raise censereneres of protect the environment, avoid illegal logging and develop alterative energy and curb the use of non-biodegradable waterials.

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Errors and Improvements:

"Our enviroment" -> "Our environment"
Explanation: "Enviroment" is misspelled. "Environment" is the correct spelling and maintains the formal tone of the essay.
"special gift for human" -> "special gift for humanity"
Explanation: "Human" should be replaced with "humanity" to refer to the collective human race in a more formal and inclusive manner.
"It plays an important role to our people’s life." -> "It plays an important role in people’s lives."
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and removing the possessive form "our" makes the statement more concise and academically appropriate.
"It brings pure ambience" -> "It provides a pristine ambiance"
Explanation: "Pure ambience" is slightly informal. "Pristine ambiance" is a more sophisticated and formal alternative.
"the natural habitats for cratures" -> "the natural habitats for creatures"
Explanation: "Cratures" is a misspelling of "creatures." Correcting this error improves the accuracy and professionalism of the text.
"Although the enviroment contribute great benefits" -> "Although the environment provides great benefits"
Explanation: The subject-verb agreement is incorrect. "Contribute" should be replaced with "provides" to match the singular noun "environment."
"it is still thor being threated by a number of factors." -> "it is still threatened by a number of factors."
Explanation: "Thor" should be corrected to "threatened," which is the appropriate past participle form of the verb "threaten."
"of the most popular types of pollution" -> "one of the most prevalent types of pollution"
Explanation: "Popular" is not suitable here. "Prevalent" better conveys the widespread occurrence of air pollution in this context.
"exhausted fumes" -> "exhaust emissions"
Explanation: "Exhausted fumes" is unclear. "Exhaust emissions" more accurately describes the pollutants released from vehicles and industries.
"caused bad consequences to residents" -> "resulting in adverse effects on residents"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence and replacing "bad consequences" with "adverse effects" enhances clarity and formality.
"difficult to breathe and hard to see anything" -> "difficult to breathe and impairs visibility"
Explanation: "Hard to see anything" is informal. "Impairs visibility" is a more formal expression.
"increasing of population" -> "increase in population"
Explanation: "Increasing of" is grammatically incorrect. "Increase in" is the correct prepositional phrase.
"it is estimated that every 2 seconds" -> "it is estimated that every 2 seconds,"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "seconds" corrects the punctuation error and improves readability.
"Because of the rising number of population" -> "Due to the increasing population"
Explanation: "Rising number of population" is awkward. "Increasing population" is more concise and grammatically correct.
"the demand of using the transport" -> "the demand for transportation"
Explanation: "Using the transport" is unclear. "Demand for transportation" is a more precise and formal expression.
"it’s appearance of greenhouse effect" -> "the occurrence of the greenhouse effect"
Explanation: "It’s appearance" is grammatically incorrect. "The occurrence of" is a clearer and more formal phrase.
"surging of greenhouse gases" -> "increase in greenhouse gases"
Explanation: "Surging" is informal. "Increase in" is a more formal and accurate description of the rise in greenhouse gases.
"carbondioxide" -> "carbon dioxide"
Explanation: "Carbondioxide" is a misspelling. "Carbon dioxide" is the correct term.
"many terrible effects" -> "numerous detrimental effects"
Explanation: "Many terrible effects" lacks precision. "Numerous detrimental effects" is more specific and formal.
"will be hot through each year" -> "will become increasingly hotter each year"
Explanation: "Will be hot through each year" is awkward. "Will become increasingly hotter each year" is clearer and more formal.
"deplete natures resources" -> "deplete natural resources"
Explanation: "Natures" should be "natural." Correcting this maintains proper grammar and spelling.
"a myriad of creatures" -> "numerous species"
Explanation: "A myriad of" is informal. "Numerous species" is more concise and academically appropriate.
"the environmet need to be improved" -> "the environment needs to be improved"
Explanation: "Environmet" is a misspelling. "Environment" should be spelled correctly for clarity and professionalism.
"have to know the importance of nature" -> "must recognize the importance of nature"
Explanation: "Have to know" is less formal. "Must recognize" is a stronger and more formal expression.
"impose strict laws and heavy taxes" -> "enact stringent legislation and impose substantial taxes"
Explanation: Replacing "impose strict laws and heavy taxes" with "enact stringent legislation and impose substantial taxes" provides a more formal and precise expression.
"censereneres of protect the environment" -> "consciousness of protecting the environment"
Explanation: "Censereneres" is a misspelling. "Consciousness of protecting" is a clearer and more formal phrase.
"illegal logging" -> "unlawful deforestation"
Explanation: "Illegal logging" can be more specifically described as "unlawful deforestation," which is a more formal term.
"develop alterative energy" -> "develop alternative energy sources"
Explanation: "Alterative" is misspelled. "Alternative energy sources" is the correct term.
"curb the use of non-biodegradable waterials" -> "limit the utilization of non-biodegradable materials"
Explanation: "Curb" can be replaced with "limit" for a more formal tone. "Waterials" is a misspelling of "materials."

By addressing these errors and implementing the suggested improvements, the essay will become more polished, precise, and suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses all parts of the question. It discusses reasons for environmental pollution, such as air pollution and the greenhouse effect, but it lacks depth and clarity in its exploration of solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, provide more detailed and specific solutions to address environmental pollution. Consider discussing measures like investing in renewable energy, implementing stricter environmental regulations, promoting recycling and waste reduction initiatives, and encouraging public transportation usage.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance on the issue of environmental pollution. It consistently emphasizes the importance of addressing pollution and highlights the role of both individuals and governments in finding solutions.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, ensure that each paragraph directly supports the main argument. Additionally, refine the thesis statement to explicitly state the essay’s stance on the issue.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to environmental pollution but lacks thorough development and support. For instance, while it mentions air pollution and the greenhouse effect, it lacks elaboration on their causes and impacts.
- How to improve: To improve, provide more detailed explanations and examples to support each idea. Utilize statistics, case studies, and scholarly research to enhance the credibility and depth of the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing reasons for environmental pollution and proposing solutions. However, there are instances of tangential discussion, such as the mention of India’s population growth, which is not directly related to the main topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the topic of environmental pollution and its solutions. Avoid introducing tangential information that may distract from the main argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and maintains a consistent stance, there is room for improvement in providing more comprehensive solutions, developing ideas with supporting evidence, and ensuring all content directly relates to the prompt. By incorporating these suggestions, the essay can achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a somewhat logical organization, albeit with notable inconsistencies. The introduction introduces the topic of environmental pollution but lacks clarity and conciseness. The body paragraphs attempt to address reasons for environmental pollution, discussing air pollution and the greenhouse effect, albeit with some repetition and lack of coherence between ideas. The conclusion attempts to propose solutions but lacks coherence with the preceding discussion. Overall, while there is an attempt at logical organization, it is marred by disjointed ideas and lack of seamless transitions.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph serves a clear purpose and contributes directly to the overall argument. Start with a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph to introduce the main point and ensure that subsequent sentences provide supporting evidence or examples. Additionally, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to create a coherent flow of ideas from one point to the next.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to organize ideas, but the effectiveness is hindered by issues with structure and coherence. While there is an attempt to separate different points into paragraphs, the structure within each paragraph is often lacking. Sentences within paragraphs sometimes lack coherence, resulting in a disjointed presentation of ideas.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or argument. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point of that paragraph. Then, provide supporting details or examples to elaborate on the topic sentence. Ensure that there is a logical progression of ideas within each paragraph and that sentences are logically connected to each other to maintain coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices to connect ideas, but the range and effectiveness are limited. There are some attempts to use cohesive devices such as conjunctions (e.g., "although," "besides that") and pronouns (e.g., "it," "this"), but they are used inconsistently and sometimes incorrectly. As a result, the essay lacks cohesion, and the flow of ideas is disrupted.
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, aim for greater variety and consistency. Use a range of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transition words, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay. Practice integrating cohesive devices seamlessly into your writing to create a smoother and more coherent flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 9

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, encompassing various aspects of the topic. For instance, the writer employs diverse vocabulary to discuss environmental issues, including "air pollution," "greenhouse effect," "carbon footprint," "illegal logging," and "non-biodegradable materials." These terms effectively convey the complexity of environmental concerns.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary to articulate ideas with greater precision. For instance, instead of using common phrases like "most popular types of pollution," opt for more specific terms such as "prevalent forms of pollution." This can enrich the essay and elevate its lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally utilizes vocabulary with reasonable precision, effectively communicating ideas. However, there are instances where imprecise language detracts from clarity. For example, the phrase "it is still thor being threated by a number of factors" lacks precision and clarity, which may confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, strive for clarity and specificity in language use. Replace vague terms like "a number of factors" with specific examples or descriptions. Additionally, ensure that each term used accurately reflects the intended meaning to avoid ambiguity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is adequate, with minimal errors observed. However, there are some instances of misspelled words, such as "enviroment," "realeased," "thor," and "censereneres." While these errors do not significantly hinder comprehension, they detract from the overall professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-checking tools or proofreading thoroughly before finalizing the essay. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling patterns and irregularities to minimize errors. Proofreading aloud or seeking feedback from others can also help identify and correct spelling mistakes effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly varied range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in terms of complexity and sophistication. Simple sentences dominate the essay, with limited use of compound and complex structures. For instance, "It plays an important role to our people’s life" could be revised to a more complex structure to enhance readability and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, aim for a more balanced mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. Introduce relative clauses, conditional sentences, and participial phrases to add complexity and depth to your writing. Additionally, vary sentence lengths for rhythm and flow, ensuring clarity and engagement for the reader.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a range of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the text. For instance, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("the environment need to be improved"), tense consistency ("the surging of greenhouse gases"), and article usage ("the goberment who are responsible"). Punctuation errors include missing commas in compound sentences and incorrect capitalization ("environmet").
- How to improve: Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly those related to verb conjugation, tense consistency, and article usage. Practice identifying and correcting subject-verb agreement errors. Additionally, pay attention to punctuation rules, including comma usage in compound sentences and proper capitalization of nouns. Proofread your writing carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work. Consider using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers or teachers to improve your grammar and punctuation skills further.

Bài sửa mẫu

Our environment is the most precious and special gift for humanity. It includes all living beings on Earth, such as animals, plants, and humans, and plays an important role in people’s lives by providing a pristine ambiance and natural habitats for creatures, among many other significant advantages. Although the environment contributes great benefits, it is still threatened by a number of factors.

Firstly, air pollution is one of the most prevalent types of pollution. It originates from exhaust fumes emitted by industrial areas and vehicles, leading to adverse effects on residents. Air pollution also results in smog, making it difficult to breathe and impairing visibility. The root cause of this issue lies in the increase in population in various countries. For example, in India, it is estimated that every 2 seconds, the population increases by one person, adding nearly 41 thousand people every day and about 15 million people every year. The rising population leads to increased demand for transportation, vehicles, and factories, exacerbating the problem.

Additionally, the greenhouse effect exacerbates environmental pollution. This process occurs when gases in the Earth’s atmosphere trap the sun’s heat, leading to a gradual increase in Earth’s temperature. The surge in greenhouse gases, such as carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide, brings numerous detrimental effects, including the Earth becoming hotter each year, depletion of natural resources, and the disappearance of numerous species along with the damage to wildlife habitats.

To address these pressing issues, concerted efforts to improve the environment are imperative for ensuring a better quality of life for individuals. Governments, as stewards of environmental preservation, must recognize the importance of nature and take decisive action. This entails enacting stringent legislation and imposing substantial taxes to curb pollution. Additionally, individuals must raise awareness about protecting the environment, refrain from engaging in unlawful deforestation, and actively participate in the development of alternative energy sources while limiting the utilization of non-biodegradable materials. By collectively embracing these solutions, we can work towards a cleaner and healthier environment for current and future generations.