Holiday costs for tourists 1990-2020

The chart gives information about the vacation prices for visitors over the period of 30 years starting from 1990. Overall, it is clear that the figure for all categories fell over the period shown. Another noteworthy feature is that flight costs were the highest most of the time.

As can be seen from the chart in 1990, the cost of flights ranked first on the list with over 4 million, followed by accommodation fees with 3. 5 million. Over the next five years, ticket prices for flights declined dramatically to reach a bottom of 2. 5 million. Similarly, staying costs saw a steady decrease to 3 million.

From 2000 onwards, there was a considerable growth in flight expenses to 3. 5 million in the final year. By contrast, the cost of accommodation witnessed a gradual drop to 2. 5 million in 2010. This number remained stable until the end of the period.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The chart gives information about" -> "The chart presents data on"
Explanation: "Presents data on" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing, compared to the more casual "gives information about."
"visitors over the period of 30 years starting from 1990" -> "visitors over a 30-year period commencing from 1990"
Explanation: "A 30-year period commencing from 1990" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial "over the period of."
"it is clear that the figure for all categories fell" -> "it is evident that the figures for all categories decreased"
Explanation: "It is evident" is a more academic term than "it is clear," and "decreased" is more specific than "fell," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"Another noteworthy feature is that flight costs were the highest most of the time" -> "Another notable aspect is that flight costs were consistently the highest"
Explanation: "Notable aspect" is more formal than "noteworthy feature," and "consistently" is more precise than "most of the time," which is somewhat vague.
"the cost of flights ranked first on the list with over 4 million" -> "flight costs ranked first at over 4 million"
Explanation: "Flight costs" is more specific than "the cost of flights," and "at" is more appropriate than "with" in this context.
"Over the next five years, ticket prices for flights declined dramatically to reach a bottom of 2. 5 million" -> "Over the subsequent five years, flight ticket prices declined significantly to a low of 2.5 million"
Explanation: "Subsequent" is more precise than "next," and "significantly" is more formal than "dramatically." Also, "a low of" is more accurate than "a bottom," which is colloquial.
"Similarly, staying costs saw a steady decrease to 3 million" -> "Similarly, accommodation costs experienced a steady decrease to 3 million"
Explanation: "Accommodation costs" is more specific than "staying costs," which is unclear and informal.
"there was a considerable growth in flight expenses" -> "there was a substantial increase in flight expenses"
Explanation: "Substantial increase" is more precise and formal than "considerable growth," which is somewhat vague.
"By contrast, the cost of accommodation witnessed a gradual drop to 2. 5 million" -> "In contrast, the cost of accommodation experienced a gradual decrease to 2.5 million"
Explanation: "Experienced a gradual decrease" is more formal and precise than "witnessed a gradual drop," and "2.5 million" should not have a space after the decimal point in formal writing.
"This number remained stable until the end of the period" -> "This figure remained stable throughout the period"
Explanation: "Figure" is more formal than "number," and "throughout the period" is more precise than "until the end of the period."

These changes enhance the formal tone and precision of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main trends in the data, but the details are not always accurate. For example, the essay states that flight costs were the highest most of the time, but this is not entirely accurate. The essay also does not provide a clear overview of the changes in accommodation costs.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more accurate details about the trends in the data. The essay could also be improved by providing a clearer overview of the changes in accommodation costs. The essay should also avoid making subjective statements, such as "Another noteworthy feature is that flight costs were the highest most of the time." Instead, the essay should focus on reporting the facts of the data.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs. However, while it uses cohesive devices effectively, there are instances where the cohesion between sentences could be improved. For example, the transition between the discussion of flight costs and accommodation could be more fluid. Additionally, the paragraphing is present but not always logical, as the ideas could be better organized to enhance clarity and flow.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and ideas. This can be done by using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed throughout. Additionally, improving the overall structure of the essay by grouping related ideas together more effectively would contribute to a more coherent response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task. It uses terms like "vacation prices," "flight costs," and "accommodation fees," which are appropriate for the context. However, the vocabulary is somewhat basic and lacks the sophistication and variety expected at higher band levels. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, but inaccuracies and repetitive phrasing are present. For example, the phrases "cost of flights" and "cost of accommodation" are repeated without variation. Additionally, there are minor errors in word formation, such as "the cost of flights ranked first on the list," which could be more clearly expressed. Overall, while the communication is effective, the limited range and occasional inaccuracies in vocabulary usage prevent a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary and expressions, especially less common lexical items. Using synonyms and varying sentence structures can help avoid repetition. Additionally, focusing on precise word choice and ensuring correct word formation will improve clarity and sophistication. Engaging with more complex vocabulary related to the topic and practicing its application in context can also contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 score. While the writer attempts to use a variety of structures, there are noticeable grammatical errors and issues with punctuation that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, phrases like "the cost of flights ranked first on the list with over 4 million" could be clearer with better punctuation and structure. Additionally, the use of "witnessed" and "saw" in similar contexts could be varied for improved grammatical range. Overall, the errors present do not significantly impede communication, but they do indicate a need for improvement in grammatical accuracy.

How to improve: To enhance the score, the writer should focus on increasing the variety of sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy. This can be achieved by practicing complex sentence formations and paying attention to punctuation rules. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors and refining the clarity of expressions will help in achieving a higher band score. Engaging with a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures will also contribute positively to the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The chart provides information about vacation prices for visitors over a 30-year period starting from 1990. Overall, it is clear that the figures for all categories fell during the period shown. Another noteworthy feature is that flight costs were the highest for most of the time.

As can be seen from the chart, in 1990, the cost of flights ranked first on the list at over 4 million, followed by accommodation fees at 3.5 million. Over the next five years, ticket prices for flights declined dramatically, reaching a low of 2.5 million. Similarly, accommodation costs experienced a steady decrease to 3 million.

From 2000 onwards, there was considerable growth in flight expenses, which rose to 3.5 million by the final year. In contrast, the cost of accommodation witnessed a gradual drop to 2.5 million in 2010. This figure remained stable until the end of the period.