HUMAN ACTIVITY HAS HAD A NEGATIVE IMPACT ON PLANTS AND ANIMALS AROUND THE WORLD. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THID CAN’T BE CHANGED, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE ACTIONS CAN BE TAKEN TO BRING ABOUT A CHANGE.

It is true that plenty of flora and fauna have been detrimentally affected by human activities. While some believe that there is no effective solution in this situation. I would argue that people can still implement viable solutions to alleviate it.

On the one hand, it is understandable why people tend to opine that lessening human influence on plants and animals is impossible. One of the reasons is the inevitability of the vanishing of species. They believe that even if we take measures to cut down human impact on the ecosystem, it is still not adequate to save the planet from the extinction of flora and fauna species and also cannot bring them back. Furthermore, many creatures are predicted to disappear despite the measures taken by humans. This is because the wide range of food chains is negatively influenced by the disappearance of certain nutrition in the ecosystem, which leads to the shortage of food and the unstoppable death of organisms. For instance, some species of tiger continue to decline due to habitat loss and poaching, despite multiple preservation efforts by wildlife reserve worldwide .

On the other hand, others hold the belief that human beings can adopt measures to mitigate some environmental issues. Firstly, the government can bring in a law to ban some illegal hunting and poaching. A typical example of this situation is the industrial waste management policies. These policies could give rise to striking a balance between protecting a significant number of water ecological and aquatic organisms. Secondly, these government’s actions should be accompanied by individuals. To be more specific, they can raise funds for natural conservation to restore deforested areas, save the number of animals dying out and gradually recover the ecosystem. As a result, enormous species can be prevented from being potentially endangered.

In conclusion, although both views are valid to some extent, I firmly opine that change-inducing measures are totally possible through actions. To that end, it would be ideal if both the government and the individual are aware of protecting the ecological community by bringing in stricter laws and abiding by environmental regulations.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"plenty of" -> "numerous"
Explanation: "Numerous" is a more precise and formal term than "plenty of," which is somewhat colloquial and vague in an academic context.
"detrimentally affected" -> "adversely impacted"
Explanation: "Adversely impacted" is a more formal and precise term that better fits the academic style, replacing the less formal "detrimentally affected."
"there is no effective solution" -> "there is no viable solution"
Explanation: "Viable" is more specific and academically appropriate than "effective," which can be somewhat vague and broad in this context.
"people can still implement viable solutions" -> "individuals can still implement effective strategies"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "strategies" is a more precise term than "solutions" in this context, enhancing the academic tone.
"lessening human influence" -> "reducing human impact"
Explanation: "Reducing human impact" is a more precise and formal phrase than "lessening human influence," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic writing.
"inevitability of the vanishing of species" -> "inevitability of species extinction"
Explanation: "Species extinction" is a more precise and commonly accepted term in scientific and academic contexts than "the vanishing of species."
"cut down human impact" -> "mitigate human impact"
Explanation: "Mitigate" is a more precise and formal term than "cut down," which is colloquial and less specific.
"cannot bring them back" -> "cannot restore them"
Explanation: "Restore" is a more precise and formal term than "bring back," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"the wide range of food chains" -> "the complex food webs"
Explanation: "Food webs" is a scientifically accurate term that is more specific and appropriate in an ecological context than "food chains."
"the disappearance of certain nutrition" -> "the loss of specific nutrients"
Explanation: "Loss of specific nutrients" is a more precise and scientifically accurate term than "disappearance of certain nutrition."
"the unstoppable death of organisms" -> "the inevitable extinction of species"
Explanation: "Inevitable extinction of species" is a more formal and scientifically accurate phrase than "unstoppable death of organisms."
"give rise to striking a balance" -> "achieve a balance"
Explanation: "Achieve a balance" is a more direct and formal expression than "give rise to striking a balance," which is awkward and verbose.
"government’s actions" -> "government actions"
Explanation: Removing the possessive apostrophe corrects a grammatical error and aligns with formal writing standards.
"raise funds for natural conservation" -> "fund conservation efforts"
Explanation: "Fund conservation efforts" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, avoiding the redundancy of "raise funds for."
"save the number of animals dying out" -> "prevent the extinction of species"
Explanation: "Prevent the extinction of species" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea of saving animals from extinction.
"enormous species" -> "numerous species"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more appropriate and less hyperbolic than "enormous," which can imply an exaggerated size or quantity.
"change-inducing measures" -> "transformative measures"
Explanation: "Transformative measures" is a more precise and academically suitable term than "change-inducing measures," which is less commonly used and less formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument presented in the prompt. The first paragraph acknowledges the viewpoint that human impact on flora and fauna cannot be mitigated, providing a rationale for this belief. The second paragraph counters this by presenting the opposing view that actions can be taken to bring about change, supported by relevant examples such as government laws and individual efforts. This balanced approach demonstrates a thorough understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could include more specific examples or case studies that illustrate successful interventions in conservation efforts. This would provide a stronger foundation for the argument that change is possible and would enrich the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that change is possible, as stated in the thesis and reiterated in the conclusion. The author consistently supports this stance throughout the essay, particularly in the second body paragraph where specific actions are proposed. However, the transition between the two viewpoints could be smoother to reinforce the author’s position more effectively.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the author could use transitional phrases to link the discussion of opposing views more clearly to their own argument. For instance, after presenting the viewpoint that change is impossible, a sentence could be added to explicitly state how this contrasts with the author’s belief in the potential for change.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a range of ideas regarding the negative impact of human activity and potential solutions. The use of examples, such as the decline of tiger populations and the mention of industrial waste management policies, supports the arguments well. However, some ideas, particularly in the second body paragraph, could be further developed to provide deeper insights into how these measures can be effectively implemented.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author could elaborate on the examples given. For instance, discussing specific laws that have been effective in reducing poaching or detailing successful conservation projects would provide more depth and credibility to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the impact of human activity on plants and animals and the potential for change. The structure is logical, with clear distinctions between the two viewpoints. However, there are minor instances where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt, particularly in the elaboration of solutions.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every example and argument directly ties back to the central question of whether change is possible. Avoiding tangential discussions and keeping the examples relevant to the prompt will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. By incorporating more specific examples, improving transitions, and elaborating on ideas, the author could further elevate the quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the two opposing views regarding human impact on flora and fauna, setting the stage for the discussion. Each body paragraph addresses one side of the argument, which helps maintain clarity. However, the transition between the two paragraphs could be smoother; the shift from discussing the pessimistic view to the optimistic view feels somewhat abrupt. For instance, the phrase "On the other hand" serves as a transition but could be enhanced with a brief summary of the previous point to create a more cohesive flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider adding transitional phrases that summarize the previous paragraph before introducing the next viewpoint. For example, after discussing the negative impacts, a sentence like "Despite these challenges, there are still viable solutions that can be pursued" could create a more seamless transition.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct viewpoint. The first paragraph discusses the belief that change is impossible, while the second presents the counterargument. However, the paragraphs could be further refined by ensuring that each one begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, the second paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be better organized into smaller, more focused paragraphs.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraphing by ensuring each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point. Consider breaking down the second body paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on government actions and the other on individual contributions. This would allow for a more detailed exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "For instance," which help to guide the reader through the arguments. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. Some phrases, such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," are repeated without variation, which can make the writing feel formulaic. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more complex cohesive devices that link ideas within and across paragraphs.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using synonyms or alternative phrases, such as "In contrast" or "Conversely," instead of repeatedly using "On the one hand" and "On the other hand." Additionally, incorporate more advanced cohesive devices, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "Consequently," to enhance the connections between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are areas for improvement in the organization of information, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By implementing these suggestions, the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay can be enhanced, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "flora and fauna," "detrimentally affected," "inevitability," and "mitigate." However, the vocabulary could be more varied and sophisticated. For instance, phrases like "human activities" and "effective solution" are somewhat repetitive and could be replaced with synonyms or more complex expressions to enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating more advanced vocabulary and synonyms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "human activities," you could use "anthropogenic activities" or "human-induced actions." Additionally, explore using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to enrich your writing, such as "significant" instead of "plenty" or "various" instead of "wide range."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "habitat loss" and "poaching." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the disappearance of certain nutrition," which would be clearer as "the disappearance of certain species" or "the loss of specific nutrients." The phrase "the unstoppable death of organisms" could be more effectively expressed as "the inevitable extinction of organisms."
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. Review phrases and terms to ensure they are contextually appropriate. For example, instead of "the shortage of food," you might say "the depletion of food resources." Additionally, consider using more specific terms when discussing ecological concepts to enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "THID" instead of "THIS," "government’s actions" should be "government actions," and "wildlife reserve worldwide" should be "wildlife reserves worldwide." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, implement a proofreading strategy before finalizing your essay. This could include reading the essay aloud to catch mistakes or using spell-check tools. Additionally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing and practice them regularly. Keeping a list of challenging words can also be beneficial for review.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling will help elevate the Lexical Resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "This is because the wide range of food chains is negatively influenced by the disappearance of certain nutrition in the ecosystem" showcases the writer’s ability to convey intricate ideas effectively. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For instance, the phrase "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" are used effectively to contrast viewpoints, but the essay could benefit from additional linking phrases or varied transitions to enhance the flow and coherence of ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases, such as "In addition," "Conversely," or "Moreover," to enhance the transitions between points. Additionally, using a mix of shorter and longer sentences can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing. Practicing the use of different sentence types, such as conditional sentences or participial phrases, could also contribute to a richer grammatical range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "this situation" in the first paragraph is incomplete and should be connected to a main clause for clarity. Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the incorrect placement of the period in "wildlife reserve worldwide .", which should be corrected to "wildlife reserves worldwide." The use of commas is mostly accurate, but there are instances where additional commas could improve readability, such as before "despite multiple preservation efforts."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch minor errors, particularly in punctuation and sentence completeness. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can help identify and rectify these issues. Furthermore, studying common grammatical structures and their correct usage can enhance overall accuracy. Practicing writing sentences with varied punctuation, such as using semicolons or colons, can also help in achieving a more polished final product.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, there are specific areas for improvement that could elevate the score further. By diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical precision, the writer can strengthen their overall writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is true that numerous flora and fauna have been adversely impacted by human activities. While some believe that there is no effective solution to this situation, I would argue that individuals can still implement viable solutions to alleviate it.

On the one hand, it is understandable why people tend to opine that lessening human influence on plants and animals is impossible. One reason is the inevitability of species extinction. They believe that even if we take measures to reduce human impact on the ecosystem, it is still not adequate to save the planet from the extinction of various flora and fauna species and also cannot restore them. Furthermore, many creatures are predicted to disappear despite the measures taken by humans. This is because the complex food webs are negatively influenced by the loss of specific nutrients in the ecosystem, which leads to a shortage of food and the unstoppable death of organisms. For instance, some species of tiger continue to decline due to habitat loss and poaching, despite multiple preservation efforts by wildlife reserves worldwide.

On the other hand, others hold the belief that human beings can adopt measures to mitigate some environmental issues. Firstly, the government can introduce laws to ban illegal hunting and poaching. A typical example of this situation is the industrial waste management policies. These policies could give rise to achieving a balance between protecting a significant number of aquatic organisms and water ecosystems. Secondly, these government actions should be accompanied by individual efforts. To be more specific, individuals can raise funds for conservation efforts to restore deforested areas, save the number of animals dying out, and gradually recover the ecosystem. As a result, numerous species can be prevented from becoming potentially endangered.

In conclusion, although both views are valid to some extent, I firmly believe that transformative measures are totally possible through collective actions. To that end, it would be ideal if both the government and individuals are aware of the need to protect the ecological community by implementing stricter laws and abiding by environmental regulations.