In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

It is widely recognised that in some nations, teaching children at home is their parents’ selection for education, which is a substitute for enrolling them for schools. In this essay, principal pros and cons of homeschooling would be delineated, with the aim to explain why its demerits may outshine its merits.
On the one hand, homeschooling has brought about several compelling advantages. First, the children’s learning procedure can be flexibly personalized by means of curriculum and learning pace adaptation. For instance, as parents teach their children English, they can add or reduce vocabulary or grammar structures for each teaching period along with adjusting the length of that period. Besides, parents are able to arrange the order of topics taught to their children so long as their children can acquire them without being afraid that they may not catch up with other fellows in classes. Another upside is that this learning form attributes to lessen the expenditure that school learning normally covers, such as class fund or fees for uniforms. However, a strong counter argument would be that few parents have enough pedagogical methodology and time to maintain this educational type in the long term. Concurrently, the expense for tackling its demerits may be considerable.
On the other hand, while the benefits for students and parents are apparent, the risks of learning and teaching solely at home are too significant to ignore. Chief of these drawbacks is that parents lacking teaching methodology could teach their children wrongly, which leads children to misunderstanding or they are likely to evaluate their children in an incorrect way and consequently results in designing inappropriate curriculum as well as heightening their sense of disappointment. Added to this is the fact that not many parents are well-versed at all subjects, so hiring specialist tutors is indispensable. Another great amount of money arises from buying authentic documents and laboratory equipment. At the same time, one parent has to be at home to cater for children, which narrows the family's income. Those problems make homeschooling weak points possibly overshadow its strong suits.
To summary, despite positive features that homeschooling accomplishes, such as personalization in educating and reduction of class fund, uniform fees, there still exist its negative aspects that maybe surpass those positives, namely consequences caused by lacking teaching methods, additional payment from employing specific tutors, buying equipment and limitation of family’s income.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is widely recognised" -> "It is widely recognized"
Explanation: The correct form of the verb "recognise" in American English is "recognized," which aligns with the context of formal academic writing.
"children at home is their parents’ selection for education" -> "children at home is a parental choice for education"
Explanation: Simplifying "parents’ selection" to "a parental choice" removes redundancy and enhances clarity, making the phrase more direct and formal.
"principal pros and cons" -> "primary advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Primary" is more precise and academically appropriate than "principal" in this context, and "advantages and disadvantages" is a more formal way to express the pros and cons.
"would be delineated" -> "will be outlined"
Explanation: "Will be outlined" is more direct and assertive, fitting better in an academic context where clarity and precision are crucial.
"its demerits may outshine its merits" -> "its disadvantages may outweigh its advantages"
Explanation: "Outweigh" is a more precise term than "outshine," which is typically used to describe visual superiority, not comparative analysis.
"flexibly personalized" -> "flexibly tailored"
Explanation: "Tailored" is more specific and appropriate in the context of educational curricula, implying a customized approach.
"as parents teach their children English" -> "when parents teach their children English"
Explanation: "When" is more precise and formal than "as," which can imply a condition rather than a specific action.
"add or reduce vocabulary or grammar structures" -> "add or modify vocabulary and grammar structures"
Explanation: "Modify" is more precise than "reduce," which could imply a decrease in quantity rather than a change in form.
"without being afraid that they may not catch up with other fellows in classes" -> "without worrying that they may fall behind their peers in class"
Explanation: "Worrying" is more formal than "being afraid," and "fall behind their peers in class" is a clearer and more academic way to express the concern.
"attributes to lessen the expenditure" -> "contributes to reducing the expenditure"
Explanation: "Contributes to reducing" is more grammatically correct and formal than "attributes to lessen."
"pedagogical methodology" -> "pedagogical methods"
Explanation: "Methods" is the correct term for educational approaches, not "methodology," which refers to the study of methods.
"tackling its demerits" -> "addressing its disadvantages"
Explanation: "Addressing" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "tackling," which can imply a more casual or confrontational approach.
"Chief of these drawbacks" -> "The primary drawback"
Explanation: "The primary drawback" is more concise and formal, improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"teach their children wrongly" -> "instruct their children incorrectly"
Explanation: "Instruct" is more specific to the context of teaching, and "incorrectly" is more precise than "wrongly."
"they are likely to evaluate their children in an incorrect way" -> "they may misjudge their children"
Explanation: "Misjudge" is a more precise term that directly conveys the error in evaluation, enhancing the academic tone.
"designing inappropriate curriculum" -> "developing an inappropriate curriculum"
Explanation: "Developing" is more specific to the process of creating educational materials, aligning better with the context.
"heightening their sense of disappointment" -> "increasing their disappointment"
Explanation: "Increasing" is more direct and formal than "heightening," which can imply a more dramatic change.
"not many parents are well-versed at all subjects" -> "few parents are knowledgeable in all subjects"
Explanation: "Knowledgeable" is more precise and formal than "well-versed," which can be vague and less specific.
"hiring specialist tutors" -> "engaging specialized tutors"
Explanation: "Engaging" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "hiring," which is more colloquial.
"great amount of money" -> "substantial amount of money"
Explanation: "Substantial" is more formal and precise than "great," which can be vague and informal.
"buying authentic documents and laboratory equipment" -> "acquiring authentic documents and laboratory equipment"
Explanation: "Acquiring" is more formal and precise than "buying," which is too casual for academic writing.
"one parent has to be at home to cater for children" -> "one parent must remain at home to care for the children"
Explanation: "Must remain" and "care for" are more formal and precise, improving the academic tone.
"narrow the family’s income" -> "reduce the family’s income"
Explanation: "Reduce" is a more precise term than "narrow," which is less commonly used in this context.
"make homeschooling weak points possibly overshadow its strong suits" -> "render homeschooling’s weaknesses potentially more significant than its strengths"
Explanation: "Render" and "potentially" are more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone and clarity of the statement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling. It clearly outlines the benefits, such as personalized learning and cost savings, while also addressing significant drawbacks, including the lack of teaching expertise among parents and the financial implications of homeschooling. The essay maintains a balanced approach, which is crucial for a discussion-based prompt. However, there could be a more explicit comparison of the advantages and disadvantages to clearly indicate whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include a more direct comparison in the conclusion, explicitly stating whether they believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This could involve summarizing the key points from both sides and providing a definitive stance based on the analysis presented.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the disadvantages of homeschooling may outweigh the advantages. This is evident in the concluding paragraph, where the writer reiterates this viewpoint. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay. For instance, while discussing the advantages, the writer could have included phrases that link back to the overall argument about the disadvantages.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position throughout, the writer could use transitional phrases that remind the reader of the central argument. For example, after discussing each advantage, they could briefly mention how these advantages are countered by the disadvantages, thus keeping the reader focused on the overarching argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as the flexibility of homeschooling and the potential financial savings. Each point is supported with relevant examples, such as the ability to adjust the curriculum and the costs associated with traditional schooling. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration. For instance, the mention of parents lacking teaching methodology could be expanded with specific examples of subjects that may be particularly challenging to teach at home.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should aim to provide more specific examples or data where possible. For instance, citing studies or statistics about the effectiveness of homeschooling versus traditional schooling could lend more credibility to the argument. Additionally, elaborating on the consequences of poor teaching methods could provide a more nuanced understanding of the disadvantages.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay stays largely on topic, focusing on the pros and cons of homeschooling as requested by the prompt. Each paragraph contributes to the discussion of the advantages and disadvantages. However, there are moments where the language becomes slightly convoluted, which may distract from the main points. For example, phrases like "which leads children to misunderstanding" could be simplified for clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and clarity, the writer should strive for concise language and avoid overly complex sentence structures. Breaking down longer sentences into shorter, clearer ones can help ensure that the reader easily grasps the main points. Additionally, reviewing the essay for any tangential ideas that do not directly support the main argument can help maintain a tighter focus on the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs effectively separate the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, within each paragraph, the flow of ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the advantages of personalized learning to the financial benefits could be smoother. The use of phrases like "Another upside" feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from a more explicit connection to the previous point.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas. For example, instead of jumping to "Another upside," you could say, "In addition to personalized learning, another significant advantage is the potential reduction in educational costs." This would create a more cohesive flow between points.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of homeschooling, making it easier for the reader to digest the information. However, the concluding paragraph could be more robust. It briefly summarizes the main points but does not reinforce the overall argument as strongly as it could.
- How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by restating the thesis in a more compelling way and summarizing the key arguments more explicitly. For example, you might say, "In conclusion, while homeschooling offers unique benefits such as personalized education and cost savings, the significant drawbacks related to teaching quality and financial strain suggest that these disadvantages may outweigh the advantages."
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal the shift between advantages and disadvantages. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "However, a strong counter argument would be that…" could be more effectively linked to the previous sentence to clarify the contrast being made.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Conversely" or "In contrast" to introduce counterarguments. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help maintain coherence. For example, instead of repeating "homeschooling," you could use "this approach" or "such a method" in subsequent sentences.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, utilizing terms such as "personalized," "curriculum," "pedagogical methodology," and "authentic documents." This variety enhances the overall quality of the writing. However, there are instances where more varied synonyms could be employed to avoid repetition, such as using "educational approach" instead of repeating "homeschooling."
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider incorporating synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For example, instead of repeatedly using "advantages" and "disadvantages," you might use "benefits," "drawbacks," "pros," and "cons." Additionally, exploring phrases that convey similar meanings can enrich the text.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "the children’s learning procedure" could be better articulated as "the children’s learning process." Furthermore, "few parents have enough pedagogical methodology" could be more precisely stated as "few parents possess adequate pedagogical skills."
- How to improve: Focus on refining word choice for clarity and precision. When drafting, consider whether each word conveys the intended meaning. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find more precise alternatives. For example, instead of "expenditure," you might use "costs" or "financial burden," which may resonate more clearly with readers.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy overall, with only minor errors. However, there are a few misspellings, such as "to summary," which should be "to summarize." Additionally, "lessen the expenditure" could be better phrased as "reduce the expenses."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing the essay, take a moment to read it aloud or use spell-check tools to catch any errors. Practicing commonly misspelled words and familiarizing yourself with specific vocabulary related to the topic can also enhance spelling proficiency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with a Band Score of 7, there are opportunities for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can elevate their essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "the children’s learning procedure can be flexibly personalized" and "parents are able to arrange the order of topics taught" showcases the ability to construct sentences that convey detailed ideas. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "which is a substitute for enrolling them for schools," which could be more fluidly expressed.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, using participial phrases (e.g., "Having recognized the benefits of homeschooling, many parents…") can add sophistication. Additionally, varying the length of sentences can create a more engaging rhythm in writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few errors that could lead to confusion. For example, "which leads children to misunderstanding" should be "which can lead to misunderstandings." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which narrows the family’s income" to separate it from the preceding clause.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. For example, "the expense for tackling its demerits may be considerable" could be more clearly stated as "the expenses associated with addressing its demerits may be considerable." Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding clauses and lists, can help in refining the overall clarity of the writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on refining sentence structure variety and ensuring grammatical precision will further enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely recognized that in some countries, teaching children at home is a parental choice for education, serving as an alternative to enrolling them in traditional schools. In this essay, the primary advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling will be outlined, with the aim of explaining why its disadvantages may outweigh its advantages.

On the one hand, homeschooling presents several compelling benefits. First, the learning process for children can be flexibly tailored through the adaptation of the curriculum and learning pace. For instance, when parents teach their children English, they can add or modify vocabulary and grammar structures for each teaching session, along with adjusting the duration of that session. Additionally, parents can arrange the order of topics taught, ensuring that their children can grasp the material without worrying that they may fall behind their peers in class. Another advantage is that this form of education contributes to reducing the expenditure typically associated with school learning, such as class fees or costs for uniforms. However, a significant counterargument is that few parents possess the necessary pedagogical methods and time to sustain this educational approach over the long term. Concurrently, the expenses associated with addressing its disadvantages may be considerable.

On the other hand, while the benefits for students and parents are evident, the risks of learning and teaching solely at home are too significant to overlook. The primary drawback is that parents lacking teaching expertise may instruct their children incorrectly, leading to misunderstandings. They may misjudge their children’s abilities, resulting in the development of an inappropriate curriculum and increasing their disappointment. Furthermore, not many parents are knowledgeable in all subjects, making it essential to engage specialized tutors. This incurs a substantial amount of money, especially when acquiring authentic documents and laboratory equipment. At the same time, one parent must remain at home to care for the children, which can reduce the family’s income. These issues render homeschooling’s weaknesses potentially more significant than its strengths.

In summary, despite the positive features that homeschooling offers, such as personalized education and reduced costs for class fees and uniforms, its negative aspects—such as the consequences of lacking teaching methods, the additional expenses of hiring specialized tutors, the need for equipment, and the limitation on the family’s income—may surpass these advantages.