In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
It is a common belief that in the future, many vehicles will be self- driving and humans sitting inside these transports will be passengers. From my perspective, I believe that the advantages of automated cars overshadow these disadvantages.
To commence, there are many benefits of driverless cars that people can see. Firstly, these vehicles allow people to have time to do other important things such as working, having a conversation by phone or eventually relaxing when traveling on the road because the automated systems inside have the responsibility to monitor the cars without any people’s work. These days, the development of technology helps people enjoy the trip with more safety and reduce the number of road collisions. A surveyed statistic shows that on average 90 traffic accidents are caused by human errors, so if people choose to commute on self- driving vehicles, these cars can guarantee safety for travelers. In addition, automated vehicles assist people who find driving physically difficult to travel independently without any helpness from others. For example, old people and disabled people can travel anywhere thanks to the assistance of self- driving cars.
However, it is also evident that using driverless cars can have some drawbacks. A clear consequence is that drivers are able to lose their jobs, leading to higher unemployment rates and exert negative impacts on their life. Moreover, Because nothing is perfect, sometimes technical problems happen without any notice and these situations can put passengers in danger. Nevertheless, with the improvement of technology day by day, scientists are making all their efforts to fix these issues in order to bring people the best experience when sitting on automated vehicles. In general, people don’t need to worry more about technical problems.
To conclude, although using driverless cars sometimes causes several problems, I believe that these inventions can change people’s lives in a positive way and become more popular somedays.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
-
"From my perspective, I believe" -> "In my view, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages."
Explanation: "From my perspective, I believe" is redundant as it expresses the same idea twice. "In my view" establishes the author’s perspective, while "the advantages outweigh the disadvantages" succinctly summarizes the author’s stance in a more formal manner. -
"commence" -> "begin"
Explanation: "Commence" is overly formal for this context. "Begin" is a simpler and more common alternative that fits well in academic writing. -
"people can see" -> "people can observe"
Explanation: "See" is too colloquial for academic writing. "Observe" is a more formal synonym that maintains clarity and professionalism. -
"having a conversation by phone" -> "engaging in phone conversations"
Explanation: "Having a conversation by phone" is slightly informal. "Engaging in phone conversations" is a more formal and precise alternative. -
"without any people’s work" -> "without human intervention"
Explanation: "Without any people’s work" is awkward and lacks formality. "Without human intervention" is a clearer and more formal expression. -
"helpness" -> "assistance"
Explanation: "Helpness" is not a standard English word. "Assistance" is the appropriate term here, conveying the idea of help or support. -
"old people" -> "elderly individuals"
Explanation: "Old people" can be considered somewhat informal. "Elderly individuals" is a more respectful and formal term. -
"Because nothing is perfect" -> "However, perfection is unattainable"
Explanation: "Because nothing is perfect" is a bit informal for academic writing. "However, perfection is unattainable" conveys the same idea in a more formal manner. -
"day by day" -> "continuously"
Explanation: "Day by day" is slightly informal. "Continuously" is a more formal alternative that fits better in academic writing. -
"somedays" -> "in the future"
Explanation: "Somedays" is informal. "In the future" is a more precise and formal expression in this context.
By implementing these changes, the essay maintains its clarity and readability while adhering to a more formal tone suitable for academic writing.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt. It acknowledges both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, presenting a balanced view. The writer discusses the benefits such as increased safety, convenience, and accessibility for certain demographics, while also mentioning potential drawbacks like job loss and technical issues.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, the writer could expand on the disadvantages to provide a more nuanced analysis. Additionally, offering more specific examples or statistics to support the claims would strengthen the argument.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position throughout the essay by asserting that the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages. This stance is evident in the introduction and conclusion, providing a cohesive framework for the essay.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer could reinforce their position by providing stronger reasoning or evidence supporting why the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Additionally, explicitly stating the stance in the conclusion would solidify the essay’s consistency.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas related to the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. It elaborates on each point with examples, such as the ability to multitask or the impact on employment. However, some ideas could be further developed to provide deeper insights.
- How to improve: To extend ideas, the writer could delve into the societal implications of widespread adoption of driverless vehicles, such as changes in urban planning or transportation infrastructure. Additionally, providing more diverse examples and elaborating on their significance would enrich the argument.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles as prompted. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused, such as when mentioning technical issues without directly relating them to the question of outweighing advantages.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points discussed directly contribute to evaluating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Avoiding tangential topics or ensuring they are explicitly connected to the central argument would help maintain relevance to the prompt.
Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles and asserting a clear stance. To improve, the writer can enhance the depth of analysis, provide stronger support for arguments, and maintain focus throughout the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
- Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that sets up the discussion, followed by body paragraphs presenting advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, and concludes with a brief summary. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, maintaining coherence in the argumentation.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider providing a clearer roadmap in the introduction, outlining the main points that will be discussed. Additionally, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to strengthen the flow of ideas.
- Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to structure the discussion. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic, such as advantages, disadvantages, and a concluding statement. However, some paragraphs could be more developed to provide deeper analysis and support for the presented points.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by expanding on each point with additional examples or evidence. Aim for a balanced presentation of ideas within each paragraph to maintain coherence and cohesion.
- Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Examples include transition words like "To commence," "However," and "In addition," which help guide the reader through the argument. Furthermore, pronouns and conjunctions are used effectively to link sentences within paragraphs.
- How to improve: While cohesive devices are used adequately, consider incorporating a wider range of transitional phrases and connectors to further enhance the flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure consistency in the use of cohesive devices throughout the essay to reinforce coherence.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong level of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. To improve further, focus on providing a clearer roadmap in the introduction, strengthening paragraph development, and diversifying the range of cohesive devices used. These enhancements will contribute to a more cohesive and logically structured essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
- Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly wide range of vocabulary, covering various aspects of the topic. Examples include "self-driving," "automated," "collisions," "unemployment rates," "technical problems," and "inventions." However, some phrases are repetitive or lack diversity, such as the frequent use of "driverless cars" and "people." More specific and varied vocabulary could enhance the richness and depth of the essay.
- How to improve: To enrich the vocabulary further, consider incorporating synonyms and exploring different expressions for repetitive terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "driverless cars," alternatives like "autonomous vehicles" or "self-driving automobiles" could be employed. Additionally, strive to introduce specialized terminology or nuanced vocabulary related to the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles to add depth to the analysis.
- Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately but occasionally lacks precision. For example, the phrase "these vehicles allow people to have time to do other important things" could be refined for clarity. While the meaning is clear, a more precise term like "multitask" or "engage in productive activities" would convey the message more explicitly. Similarly, the use of "helpness" instead of "helplessness" is an instance of imprecise vocabulary.
- How to improve: Aim for precision by selecting words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Consider consulting a thesaurus or dictionary to find precise synonyms or related terms. Additionally, proofreading the essay carefully can help catch typographical errors like "helpness," ensuring clarity and accuracy in vocabulary usage.
- Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the spelling in the essay is adequate, with no major errors observed. However, there are a few minor mistakes, such as "helpness" instead of "helplessness." These errors do not significantly detract from the overall readability of the essay but demonstrate room for improvement in spelling accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider employing tools like spell checkers or proofreading more diligently. Reviewing each word carefully before finalizing the essay can help identify and correct any spelling errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through activities such as vocabulary drills or writing exercises can reinforce correct spelling patterns and improve overall accuracy.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, it employs simple structures like "It is a common belief that…" alongside compound structures such as "However, it is also evident that…" and complex structures like "For example, old people and disabled people can travel anywhere thanks to the assistance of self-driving cars." This variety enhances the readability and coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the richness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with varied clause structures and lengths. Additionally, strive to integrate rhetorical devices such as parallelism or inversion to add nuance and sophistication to the writing.
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates proficiency in grammar and punctuation usage. Most sentences are grammatically correct, with appropriate subject-verb agreement and sentence structures. However, there are instances of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "old people and disabled people" which could be improved by rephrasing to "elderly and disabled individuals" for smoother flow. Punctuation usage is generally accurate, but there are occasional issues with comma splices and inconsistent punctuation.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, pronoun usage, and verb tense consistency. Proofreading the essay carefully can help catch and correct any remaining grammatical errors or awkward phrasings. Additionally, review the rules for comma usage to ensure they are applied consistently and appropriately throughout the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is widely anticipated that in the future, a significant portion of vehicles will operate without human drivers, with passengers being the sole occupants. From my perspective, the advantages of autonomous vehicles far outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin with, there are numerous benefits associated with driverless cars that people can readily observe. Firstly, these vehicles afford individuals the opportunity to engage in other tasks while on the move, such as working, participating in phone conversations, or simply unwinding during their journey, as the automated systems are responsible for monitoring the vehicles without requiring human intervention. Thanks to advancements in technology, traveling has become safer, with a reduction in the number of road accidents. On average, 90 traffic incidents are caused by human errors, thus opting for autonomous transportation ensures a higher level of safety for travelers. Furthermore, driverless vehicles provide assistance to individuals who may find driving physically challenging, enabling them to travel independently without relying on external help. For instance, elderly and disabled individuals can access transportation to any desired destination with the aid of self-driving cars.
However, it is important to acknowledge that the use of driverless cars may entail certain drawbacks. One evident consequence is the potential loss of employment for drivers, resulting in higher rates of unemployment and negative impacts on their livelihoods. Additionally, as perfection is unattainable, technical glitches may arise unexpectedly, posing potential risks to passengers. Nonetheless, with continuous advancements in technology, scientists are diligently addressing these issues to ensure the safety and reliability of autonomous vehicles. Overall, there is less cause for concern regarding technical malfunctions.
In conclusion, despite the occasional challenges associated with driverless cars, I firmly believe that these innovations have the potential to positively transform people’s lives and gain widespread acceptance in the future.
Phản hồi