In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reason? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reason? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

The excitement of foreign travel has traditionally stemmed from the desire to experience cultures vastly different from people’s own. However, a growing trend suggests that cities around the world are gradually adopting more uniform characteristics, blurring the once-clear boundaries of distinction and prompting contemplation about the consequences of this trend towards uniformity.

Several factors contribute to the blurring of lines between cities. Firstly, globalization has fostered the dominance of multinational corporations. These companies establish similar retail outlets and restaurant chains in different locations, resulting in a standardized consumer experience. Imagine walking down a street in Tokyo and seeing the same coffee shop you frequent in New York. Another key driver is that the rise of international travel and communication platforms promotes a homogenization of tastes and trends. People are exposed to global media and fashion, leading to a desire to imitate them.

However, this homogenization is not without its advantages. The spread of global brands can ensure a certain level of quality and consistency for consumers. The increased flow of ideas and information facilitates cultural exchange and fosters a sense of global citizenship. Imagine enjoying a delicious dish from another culture right in your own city. While the trend towards urban homogenization offers certain advantages, it also raises significant concerns. The decline of local businesses and traditions can lead to a loss of cultural richness and a sense of place. Furthermore, the dominance of a few large corporations can stifle innovation and limit consumer choice.

In conclusion, the impact of this trend is a double-edged sword. While globalization offers convenience and cultural exchange, it can also lead to standardization that erodes local distinctiveness. The ideal scenario lies in achieving a balance where cities embrace global influences while also nurturing and celebrating their unique cultural identities.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The excitement of foreign travel" -> "The allure of international travel"
    Explanation: Replacing "excitement" with "allure" provides a more sophisticated and precise term that conveys a sense of attraction or fascination, which is more appropriate in an academic context.

  2. "vastly different" -> "significantly different"
    Explanation: "Vastly" is incorrect and should be replaced with "significantly" to maintain grammatical accuracy and enhance the formal tone.

  3. "prompting contemplation" -> "eliciting consideration"
    Explanation: "Eliciting consideration" is a more formal and precise phrase that better fits the academic style, suggesting a thoughtful and deliberate examination of the topic.

  4. "blurring the once-clear boundaries of distinction" -> "eroding the previously distinct boundaries"
    Explanation: "Eroding" is a more precise term that accurately describes the gradual loss of distinctiveness, and "previously distinct" is more formal than "once-clear."

  5. "fostered the dominance of multinational corporations" -> "promoted the dominance of multinational corporations"
    Explanation: "Promoted" is a more precise verb in this context, indicating active encouragement or support, which is more suitable for describing the role of globalization in the rise of multinational corporations.

  6. "resulting in a standardized consumer experience" -> "yielding a standardized consumer experience"
    Explanation: "Yielding" is a more formal synonym for "resulting," enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  7. "Imagine walking down a street in Tokyo and seeing the same coffee shop you frequent in New York" -> "Envision strolling down a street in Tokyo and encountering the same coffee shop as one you frequent in New York"
    Explanation: "Envision" and "encountering" are more formal alternatives to "imagine" and "seeing," and the rephrasing clarifies the comparison being made.

  8. "the rise of international travel and communication platforms" -> "the advent of international travel and communication platforms"
    Explanation: "Advent" is a more formal term that suggests a significant development or emergence, fitting the academic style better than "rise."

  9. "promotes a homogenization of tastes and trends" -> "fosters homogenization of tastes and trends"
    Explanation: "Fosters" is a more precise verb that implies active encouragement or support, aligning better with the context of the impact of globalization on consumer preferences.

  10. "Imagine enjoying a delicious dish from another culture right in your own city" -> "Envision savoring a dish from another culture in your own city"
    Explanation: "Envision" and "savoring" are more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone and emphasizing the enjoyment of the experience.

  11. "The decline of local businesses and traditions" -> "The decline of local businesses and traditional practices"
    Explanation: "Traditional practices" is a more specific and formal term than "traditions," which is somewhat vague and informal.

  12. "a sense of place" -> "a sense of local identity"
    Explanation: "A sense of local identity" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase, as it directly relates to the cultural and community aspects of a place.

  13. "The ideal scenario lies in achieving a balance" -> "The ideal scenario involves striking a balance"
    Explanation: "Involves striking a balance" is a more formal and precise expression, suitable for academic writing, emphasizing the action of achieving equilibrium.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons for the increasing similarity among cities, such as globalization and the rise of multinational corporations, and discusses the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. The writer articulates how globalization leads to a standardized consumer experience and the decline of local cultures, thereby answering the question comprehensively.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the reasons and the advantages/disadvantages. For instance, after discussing globalization, the writer could directly link how this leads to both benefits (like consistency) and drawbacks (like loss of local culture) in a more structured manner, perhaps by using clear transitional phrases that indicate the shift from causes to effects.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges the dual nature of globalization’s impact on cities. The conclusion reiterates this balanced view, indicating that while there are benefits, there are also significant drawbacks. The use of phrases like "double-edged sword" effectively conveys the complexity of the issue.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could explicitly state their stance earlier in the essay. A thesis statement in the introduction that clearly outlines the advantages and disadvantages could provide a stronger framework for the argument, helping the reader anticipate the discussion that follows.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as the role of multinational corporations and the effects of global media on cultural homogenization. Each point is supported with relevant examples, like the comparison of coffee shops in different cities, which helps illustrate the argument effectively.
    • How to improve: While the examples are relevant, the essay could benefit from more in-depth exploration of the implications of these points. For instance, discussing specific local businesses that have struggled due to globalization would provide a more concrete understanding of the disadvantages. Additionally, incorporating statistics or studies on cultural loss could further substantiate the claims made.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the reasons for urban similarity and the associated advantages and disadvantages without straying into unrelated areas. The logical flow from one idea to the next supports the overall coherence of the argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain this focus even more effectively, the writer could ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt. This would reinforce the relevance of each point and help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-rounded argument. By refining the connections between ideas, enhancing the depth of examples, and clarifying the thesis, the writer can elevate their work even further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main topic and the dual nature of the argument regarding urban homogenization. The body paragraphs are well-organized, with the first paragraph discussing the reasons for this trend (globalization and international exposure) and the second addressing the advantages and disadvantages of homogenization. Each point is introduced clearly, and the progression from one idea to the next is smooth, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, the writer could consider using more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence that explicitly states the focus on the reasons for urban homogenization. This would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader and reinforce the logical flow of ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in clarity and readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and presents a balanced view, reinforcing the essay’s overall coherence.
    • How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the writer could enhance the transitions between paragraphs. For example, using linking phrases or sentences at the end of one paragraph that lead into the next could help create a smoother flow. Phrases like "In addition to these reasons" or "Conversely, it is important to consider" could be employed to connect the ideas more fluidly.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Another key driver," and "However," which help to signal the progression of ideas and contrast different points of view. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the text, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument. The use of examples, such as the comparison of cities like Tokyo and New York, also serves to illustrate points effectively.
    • How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate more varied linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "However," alternatives like "On the other hand," or "Nevertheless," could be employed to introduce contrasting ideas. Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as relative clauses or conjunctive adverbs, could enhance the sophistication of the writing.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, demonstrating a strong command of coherence and cohesion principles. By focusing on improving transitions and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can elevate their writing to an even higher level.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms such as "uniform characteristics," "homogenization," and "cultural exchange." The use of phrases like "blurred the once-clear boundaries of distinction" and "double-edged sword" showcases the writer’s ability to convey complex ideas succinctly. However, while the vocabulary is varied, there are instances where synonyms or alternative expressions could enhance the richness of the text. For example, the phrase "growing trend" could be replaced with "emerging phenomenon" to add variety.
    • How to improve: To further enhance lexical variety, the writer should consider incorporating more synonyms and idiomatic expressions. Engaging with a thesaurus to find alternatives for commonly used words could help in this regard. Additionally, practicing writing with varied sentence structures can also contribute to a more dynamic use of vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, particularly in the context of globalization and cultural dynamics. Terms like "multinational corporations" and "standardized consumer experience" are used accurately to convey specific meanings. However, the phrase "the decline of local businesses and traditions" could be seen as somewhat vague; specifying the types of businesses or traditions affected would provide clearer imagery and context.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on providing more context or specificity when discussing broader concepts. For instance, instead of stating "local businesses," the writer could specify "family-owned restaurants" or "artisan shops." This not only clarifies the point but also enriches the essay’s content.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "globalization," "homogenization," and "distinctiveness" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions. This accuracy contributes positively to the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the spelling is excellent, the writer should continue to practice proofreading their work to maintain this standard. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or engaging in peer reviews can help catch any potential errors in future essays. Additionally, reading extensively can reinforce correct spelling through exposure to varied vocabulary.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing vocabulary variety, improving precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, conditional clauses, and varied sentence openings. For instance, the use of introductory phrases such as "However, a growing trend suggests…" and "Firstly, globalization has fostered…" effectively sets the stage for the arguments presented. Additionally, the writer employs relative clauses, as seen in "the dominance of multinational corporations," which adds depth to the writing. The essay also includes a mix of simple and compound sentences, contributing to a natural flow of ideas.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence lengths and types, such as using more rhetorical questions or exclamatory sentences to engage the reader. Additionally, integrating more passive voice constructions could add variety. For example, instead of "globalization has fostered the dominance of multinational corporations," the writer could say, "The dominance of multinational corporations has been fostered by globalization," which would diversify sentence structure.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors present. The use of punctuation is generally effective, with commas appropriately placed to separate clauses and items in a list. For example, in the sentence "The spread of global brands can ensure a certain level of quality and consistency for consumers," the grammatical structure is sound, and punctuation is correctly applied. However, there are minor issues, such as the lack of a comma before "and" in lists, which can enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy further, the writer should pay attention to comma usage, particularly in complex sentences where multiple clauses are involved. For instance, in the sentence "Imagine walking down a street in Tokyo and seeing the same coffee shop you frequent in New York," a comma before "and" could clarify the separation of ideas. Additionally, reviewing subject-verb agreement in more complex sentences can help avoid any potential errors. Regular practice with grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a Band Score of 8. With targeted improvements in sentence variety and punctuation, the writer could aim for an even higher score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The excitement of foreign travel has traditionally stemmed from the desire to experience cultures that are vastly different from people’s own. However, a growing trend suggests that cities around the world are gradually adopting more uniform characteristics, blurring the once-clear boundaries of distinction and eliciting consideration about the consequences of this trend towards uniformity.

Several factors contribute to the blurring of lines between cities. Firstly, globalization has promoted the dominance of multinational corporations. These companies establish similar retail outlets and restaurant chains in different locations, resulting in a standardized consumer experience. Envision strolling down a street in Tokyo and encountering the same coffee shop you frequent in New York. Another key driver is that the rise of international travel and communication platforms fosters the homogenization of tastes and trends. People are exposed to global media and fashion, leading to a desire to imitate them.

However, this homogenization is not without its advantages. The spread of global brands can ensure a certain level of quality and consistency for consumers. The increased flow of ideas and information facilitates cultural exchange and fosters a sense of global citizenship. Envision savoring a dish from another culture in your own city. While the trend towards urban homogenization offers certain advantages, it also raises significant concerns. The decline of local businesses and traditional practices can lead to a loss of cultural richness and a sense of local identity. Furthermore, the dominance of a few large corporations can stifle innovation and limit consumer choice.

In conclusion, the impact of this trend is a double-edged sword. While globalization offers convenience and cultural exchange, it can also lead to standardization that erodes local distinctiveness. The ideal scenario involves striking a balance where cities embrace global influences while also nurturing and celebrating their unique cultural identities.

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