Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment, only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People have different opinions about if it is true that the contributions of governing bodies and big firms to environmental protection can be more profitable compared to the individuals’ efforts which often have minimal impact. Although the government or companies can undoubtedly make contributions to promoting environmental conservation, individuals’ role should not be underestimated.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that organizations may serve a fundamental part in preventing environmental degradation . Firstly, organizations would have the financial wherewithal to launch environmental preservation campaigns on a large scale. Specifically, thanks to an enormous budget, the governments and large companies can carry out some expensive green programmes, which in turn could reduce tonnes of hazardous gas emissions. For instance, Amazon, an American company, issued instructions for all its worldwide branches to stop using plastic packing in March 2017 and in the next year, plastic packing was completely thrown off by the company. Secondly, only government authorities possess rights to enact laws in the war against negative activities to the environment. This is exemplified by imposing heavy fines on illegal logging and forest clearance or increasing tax with fossil fuel using vehicles, which in general mitigates global warming.

On the other hand, each individual can still make a difference to the environmental situation. First, awareness of climate change can only be raised by each person themselves. This is because only when fully understanding the importance of the environment to their life, individuals would take primary responsibility for preventing environmental degradation. As a result, they would follow the environmental regulations as well as inspire others to take joint actions to promote local atmosphere for instance. Additionally, each daily change can make a difference in preserving the environment. The combustion of household fossil fuels, for example, being one of the causes of carbon emissions, can be cut down on by individuals.

In conclusion, while the government and companies could be effective in enhancing the environmental situation, individuals’ efforts are of equal importance to be considered.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"People have different opinions about if it is true that" -> "There are differing opinions regarding whether"
Explanation: The phrase "There are differing opinions regarding whether" is more formal and precise, avoiding the informal construction "People have different opinions about if it is true that."
"can be more profitable" -> "may yield greater benefits"
Explanation: "May yield greater benefits" is more formal and academically appropriate than "can be more profitable," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"often have minimal impact" -> "frequently have limited impact"
Explanation: "Frequently have limited impact" is more precise and formal, replacing the colloquial "often" and the vague "minimal."
"organizations may serve a fundamental part" -> "organizations may play a crucial role"
Explanation: "Play a crucial role" is a more precise and formal expression than "serve a fundamental part," which is less commonly used in academic writing.
"would have the financial wherewithal" -> "possess the financial resources"
Explanation: "Possess the financial resources" is more direct and formal than "would have the financial wherewithal," which is somewhat archaic and less commonly used in modern academic texts.
"carry out some expensive green programmes" -> "implement costly environmental initiatives"
Explanation: "Implement costly environmental initiatives" is more specific and formal than "carry out some expensive green programmes," which is vague and informal.
"tonnes of hazardous gas emissions" -> "significant amounts of hazardous greenhouse gas emissions"
Explanation: "Significant amounts of hazardous greenhouse gas emissions" is more precise and scientifically accurate than "tonnes of hazardous gas emissions," which is less specific.
"issued instructions for all its worldwide branches" -> "issued directives to all its global branches"
Explanation: "Issued directives" is a more formal term than "issued instructions," and "global" is preferred over "worldwide" in formal writing.
"plastic packing was completely thrown off" -> "plastic packaging was completely eliminated"
Explanation: "Eliminated" is a more formal and precise term than "thrown off," which is colloquial and imprecise.
"only government authorities possess rights to enact laws" -> "only government authorities have the authority to enact laws"
Explanation: "Have the authority to enact laws" is more formal and precise than "possess rights to enact laws," which is less commonly used in this context.
"imposing heavy fines on illegal logging and forest clearance" -> "imposing substantial fines for illegal logging and deforestation"
Explanation: "Substantial fines for illegal logging and deforestation" is more specific and formal than "heavy fines on illegal logging and forest clearance."
"increasing tax with fossil fuel using vehicles" -> "increasing taxes on vehicles that use fossil fuels"
Explanation: "Increasing taxes on vehicles that use fossil fuels" is clearer and more grammatically correct than "increasing tax with fossil fuel using vehicles," which is awkward and incorrect.
"each individual can still make a difference" -> "each individual can still contribute significantly"
Explanation: "Contribute significantly" is a more formal and precise expression than "make a difference," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"fully understanding the importance of the environment to their life" -> "fully appreciating the significance of the environment to their lives"
Explanation: "Fully appreciating the significance of the environment to their lives" is more formal and precise than "fully understanding the importance of the environment to their life," which is grammatically awkward.
"inspire others to take joint actions" -> "encourage others to take collective action"
Explanation: "Encourage others to take collective action" is more formal and precise than "inspire others to take joint actions," which is less commonly used in formal writing.
"combustion of household fossil fuels" -> "combustion of household fossil fuels, such as gasoline and diesel"
Explanation: Adding "such as gasoline and diesel" provides specificity and clarity, enhancing the formal tone of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the roles of governments and large companies as well as individuals in environmental protection. The introduction acknowledges differing opinions and sets the stage for a balanced discussion. The first body paragraph focuses on the contributions of organizations, citing specific examples such as Amazon’s initiative to eliminate plastic packaging. The second body paragraph highlights the importance of individual actions, emphasizing personal responsibility and awareness. However, while the essay does cover both perspectives, it could benefit from a clearer indication of the writer’s stance on the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This could involve specifying whether they agree more with the idea that only governments and companies can make a difference or if they believe individuals also play a crucial role.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a generally clear position that recognizes the importance of both individuals and organizations in environmental protection. However, the nuances of the writer’s stance could be more pronounced. For instance, the phrase "should not be underestimated" suggests a level of importance for individuals, but it lacks a definitive statement about the extent of this importance compared to organizations.
- How to improve: The writer should consistently reinforce their position throughout the essay by using phrases that clearly indicate their level of agreement or disagreement. For example, they could use terms like "I strongly believe" or "It is crucial to recognize" to emphasize their viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument. The use of examples, such as Amazon’s plastic reduction initiative, supports the claims made about organizations. However, the support for individual actions is less robust; the examples provided are somewhat vague and could be elaborated further to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should include more specific examples of individual actions that have made a significant impact on the environment. For instance, mentioning community initiatives or personal lifestyle changes that have led to measurable environmental benefits would enhance the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic, discussing the roles of both governments and individuals in environmental protection. There are no significant deviations from the prompt. However, the transition between discussing organizations and individuals could be smoother to maintain the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and improve coherence, the writer should use transitional phrases that clearly link the two perspectives. For example, phrases like "In contrast" or "Conversely" can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively, ensuring that the relationship between the roles of individuals and organizations is clear.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a balanced argument. With some adjustments to clarify the position, enhance the support for individual actions, and improve transitions, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The arguments are logically sequenced, with the first body paragraph focusing on the role of governments and large companies, while the second addresses the contributions of individuals. This organization helps the reader follow the writer’s line of reasoning. However, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the financial capabilities of organizations to the legal powers of governments could benefit from a clearer linking sentence to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For instance, after discussing the financial capabilities of organizations, a phrase like "In addition to financial resources, governments also have the authority to…" could better link the two points. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph has a clear focus: the first discusses the role of larger entities, while the second emphasizes individual contributions. However, the paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. The first paragraph is significantly longer and more detailed than the second, which may lead to an imbalance in the presentation of arguments.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced approach by expanding on the points made in the second paragraph. For instance, providing additional examples of individual actions that contribute to environmental protection could strengthen the argument. Additionally, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas, ensuring that each paragraph remains focused and concise.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "firstly," "secondly," and "on the one hand," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some transitions feel mechanical. For example, the phrase "on the other hand" is used effectively, but the essay could benefit from a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate synonyms and alternative phrases. Instead of relying solely on "firstly" and "secondly," consider using "to begin with," "in addition," or "furthermore." Additionally, use phrases like "for example" and "in contrast" to provide more fluid transitions between ideas. This will not only improve cohesion but also make the writing more engaging.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities for improvement in logical organization, paragraph balance, and the use of cohesive devices. By implementing these suggestions, the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument can be enhanced, potentially leading to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "environmental conservation," "hazardous gas emissions," and "environmental degradation." However, there are instances of repetition and a lack of more sophisticated synonyms. For example, the phrase "environmental protection" appears multiple times without variation, which can detract from the overall lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "environmental protection," alternatives like "ecological preservation," "sustainability efforts," or "environmental stewardship" could be used. Additionally, using phrases like "green initiatives" or "sustainable practices" can diversify the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "financial wherewithal" and "heavy fines," which effectively convey the intended meaning. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the war against negative activities to the environment," which is vague and could be more clearly articulated.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim for clarity and specificity. Instead of "negative activities to the environment," a more precise phrase could be "environmentally harmful practices." Encouraging the use of context-specific terms will enhance the clarity of the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with few errors. However, there is a notable issue with "packing," which should be "packaging" in the context used. Additionally, "thrown off" is an informal phrase that may not be appropriate in an academic essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, possibly using tools like spell checkers or grammar checkers. Familiarizing themselves with commonly confused words and their correct forms will also help. Furthermore, practicing writing and revising essays can reinforce correct spelling in context.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents arguments effectively, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, improving precision, and ensuring spelling accuracy will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For example, the use of "Although the government or companies can undoubtedly make contributions to promoting environmental conservation, individuals’ role should not be underestimated" showcases a complex structure that effectively contrasts two ideas. Additionally, phrases like "This is exemplified by imposing heavy fines on illegal logging" illustrate the use of passive voice, which adds variety. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of "individuals" and "organizations," which could be diversified further.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the subject of sentences. For instance, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "individuals" or "organizations," you could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "In many cases," or "It is often observed that." This will help create a more engaging flow and reduce redundancy.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. However, there are some minor grammatical issues and punctuation errors that detract from clarity. For example, "the contributions of governing bodies and big firms to environmental protection can be more profitable compared to the individuals’ efforts which often have minimal impact" could be clearer with better punctuation. The phrase "which often have minimal impact" is a non-defining relative clause and should be set off with a comma for clarity. Additionally, phrases like "cut down on by individuals" could be rephrased for better grammatical structure, such as "can be reduced by individuals."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay attention to punctuation, especially with relative clauses and introductory phrases. Regularly reviewing grammar rules related to complex sentence structures and punctuation can also be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, will help enhance overall accuracy. Consider using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct these issues before finalizing the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

People have differing opinions regarding whether the contributions of governing bodies and large firms to environmental protection may yield greater benefits compared to the efforts of individuals, which frequently have limited impact. Although governments and companies can undoubtedly make significant contributions to promoting environmental conservation, the role of individuals should not be underestimated.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that organizations may play a crucial role in preventing environmental degradation. Firstly, these organizations possess the financial resources to launch environmental preservation campaigns on a large scale. Specifically, thanks to their substantial budgets, governments and large companies can implement costly environmental initiatives, which in turn could reduce significant amounts of hazardous greenhouse gas emissions. For instance, Amazon, an American company, issued directives to all its global branches to stop using plastic packaging in March 2017, and by the following year, plastic packaging was completely eliminated by the company. Secondly, only government authorities have the authority to enact laws in the fight against harmful activities to the environment. This is exemplified by imposing substantial fines for illegal logging and deforestation or increasing taxes on vehicles that use fossil fuels, which generally mitigates global warming.

On the other hand, each individual can still contribute significantly to improving the environmental situation. First, awareness of climate change can only be raised by individuals themselves. This is because only by fully appreciating the significance of the environment to their lives can individuals take primary responsibility for preventing environmental degradation. As a result, they would adhere to environmental regulations and encourage others to take collective action to promote a healthier local atmosphere. Additionally, even small daily changes can make a difference in preserving the environment. For example, the combustion of household fossil fuels, such as gasoline and diesel, is one of the causes of carbon emissions, and individuals can reduce their usage.

In conclusion, while governments and companies could be effective in enhancing the environmental situation, the efforts of individuals are equally important and should be considered.