Many art museums throughout the world are free to the public, so anyone can walk in and view the art. Should art museums be free? What are the advantages and disadvantages of providing free access to art museums?

Many art museums throughout the world are free to the public, so anyone can walk in and view the art.
Should art museums be free?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of providing free access to art museums?

A number of art museums all over the world are free of charge, enabling the populace to visit without tickets. This essay would discuss the merits and demerits of this organizing system, and how it is better to offer complimentary access to art museums.

The key advantage of free tickets to exhibitions is that it incentivises the public to view art. Without any expenses, people are significantly more willing to pay a visit to a place of interest, therefore contributing to a substantial amount of annual visitors. Increased tourists are in parallel with rising prominence and publicity, thus fostering museums’ images among the travel industry.

On the contrary, offering access to art exhibitions at no cost can trigger a budget deficit. This is because forgo selling tickets is a loss of a resource to generate revenue for the museum. On the other hand, other expenditures such as maintenance services or security have the tendency to increase in correlation with the potential growing number of tourists. For this reason, art museums are in the risk of confronting financial shortfall and bankruptcy.

Notwithstanding the aforementioned drawback, art entities are encouraged to sustain the existing accessing discipline. Firstly, providing incentives to view and enjoy art works could foster people’s fondness and admiration towards intellectual creations, therefore raising public consciousness of preserving intellectual properties. Another justification is that although offering access free of charge prompt museums to be non-profit institutions, they can still accumulate budget through retailing goods, souvenirs or refreshments and supplying special services for those who pay.

In conclusion, complimentary tickets to art museums have both gains and pitfalls. However, it is recommended to retain this legislation as the potential shortcomings may somewhat be offset by other methods.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "A number of art museums" -> "Numerous art museums"
   Explanation: "Numerous" is a more precise and formal term than "A number of," which is somewhat vague and informal for academic writing.

2. "free of charge" -> "free"
   Explanation: "Free" is a more concise and direct term that maintains the formal tone without redundancy.

3. "This essay would discuss" -> "This essay will discuss"
   Explanation: "Will" is more assertive and appropriate for academic writing, indicating a clear intention to discuss the topic.

4. "merits and demerits" -> "advantages and disadvantages"
   Explanation: "Advantages and disadvantages" is a more commonly used and academically accepted term in formal writing compared to "merits and demerits."

5. "how it is better to offer complimentary access" -> "why it is advantageous to offer complimentary access"
   Explanation: "Why it is advantageous" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone by specifying the reasoning behind the suggestion.

6. "incentivises the public" -> "encourages the public"
   Explanation: "Encourages" is a more natural and precise verb in this context, avoiding the less common and slightly awkward "incentivises."

7. "Without any expenses, people are significantly more willing" -> "Without any costs, individuals are significantly more inclined"
   Explanation: "Individuals" is a more formal term than "people," and "inclined" is a more precise term than "willing" in this context, suggesting a stronger motivation.

8. "a substantial amount of annual visitors" -> "a substantial number of annual visitors"
   Explanation: "Number" is the correct term when referring to a quantity of people, not "amount."

9. "in parallel with rising prominence and publicity" -> "in tandem with increasing prominence and publicity"
   Explanation: "In tandem" is a more formal and precise phrase than "in parallel," which is somewhat less common in academic writing.

10. "On the contrary" -> "On the other hand"
    Explanation: "On the other hand" is a more formal transitional phrase suitable for academic writing, whereas "On the contrary" can sound slightly informal.

11. "forgo selling tickets is a loss of a resource" -> "forgoing ticket sales is a loss of revenue"
    Explanation: "Forgoing" is the correct form of the verb, and "revenue" is more specific and appropriate than "resource" in this context.

12. "have the tendency to increase" -> "tend to increase"
    Explanation: "Tend to" is a more concise and formal expression than "have the tendency to."

13. "in the risk of confronting" -> "at risk of facing"
    Explanation: "At risk of facing" is a more direct and formal way to express potential danger or difficulty.

14. "providing incentives to view and enjoy art works" -> "offering incentives to view and appreciate artworks"
    Explanation: "Offering" is more precise than "providing," and "appreciate" is more formal than "enjoy" in this context, focusing on the intellectual aspect of art appreciation.

15. "raising public consciousness of preserving intellectual properties" -> "enhancing public awareness of preserving intellectual property"
    Explanation: "Enhancing public awareness" is more precise and formal than "raising public consciousness," and "intellectual property" is the correct term for referring to creative works.

16. "prompt museums to be non-profit institutions" -> "compel museums to operate as non-profit institutions"
    Explanation: "Compel" is a stronger and more formal verb than "prompt," and "operate as" is more precise than "be," which is vague in this context.

17. "complimentary tickets" -> "complimentary admission"
    Explanation: "Complimentary admission" is the correct term for free entry, whereas "tickets" is too specific and informal for this context.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and tone of the essay to better align with academic standards, enhancing clarity, precision, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of free access to art museums. The advantages are presented in the first body paragraph, focusing on increased public engagement and tourism. The disadvantages are discussed in the second body paragraph, highlighting potential financial issues. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit mention of the question’s directive to discuss whether art museums should be free, which is somewhat implied but not directly stated.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly state their position on whether art museums should be free in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, they could explicitly link the advantages and disadvantages back to this central question, making it clear how these points support their stance.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position favoring free access to art museums, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could be interpreted as presenting a more balanced view rather than a definitive stance, especially when discussing the drawbacks without strongly countering them with the benefits.
  • How to improve: The writer should ensure that their position is consistently reinforced throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using more assertive language when discussing the advantages and by framing the disadvantages as challenges that can be managed rather than as reasons against free access. Clear topic sentences that reflect the writer’s position would also help.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the advantages (increased public engagement, tourism) and disadvantages (financial shortfall) of free access to art museums. However, some points lack sufficient elaboration. For instance, the mention of potential revenue from retail and services is a good point but could be further developed with examples or statistics to strengthen the argument.
  • How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples or evidence for each point made. This could include statistics on museum attendance rates in relation to free entry or case studies of specific museums that have successfully implemented free access while maintaining financial stability.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the merits and drawbacks of free access to art museums. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the phrase "intellectual properties" in the context of public consciousness could be clearer, as it strays slightly from the main focus on art and museums.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central question of whether art museums should be free. Avoiding vague terminology and ensuring that every argument ties back to the advantages or disadvantages of free access will help keep the essay on topic. Additionally, a brief summary of each point at the end of the paragraphs could reinforce the main ideas discussed.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the topic and the writer’s intention. The body paragraphs logically follow one another, with the first focusing on the advantages of free access and the second addressing the disadvantages. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother, as the shift feels somewhat abrupt. For instance, the phrase "On the contrary" could be replaced with a more fluid transition that indicates a shift in perspective.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that better connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, instead of "On the contrary," you might use "However" or "While there are significant benefits, there are also notable drawbacks." Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph discusses the advantages, while the second addresses the disadvantages. However, the conclusion could be more clearly defined as a separate paragraph rather than merging it with the discussion of advantages and disadvantages. This would enhance clarity and reinforce the essay’s structure.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that the conclusion is distinctly separated from the body paragraphs. Start the conclusion with a clear statement that summarizes the main points discussed in the essay. Additionally, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas, which can help maintain clarity and focus.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "On the contrary," and "Another justification." However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "this is because forgo selling tickets" lacks clarity and could benefit from a more explicit connection to the previous sentence.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely," and "Consequently." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately and enhances the clarity of the argument. For example, instead of saying "this is because forgo selling tickets," you could say "This is due to the fact that forgoing ticket sales results in a significant loss of revenue." This not only clarifies the connection but also improves the overall flow of the argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, there are areas for improvement in terms of logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested strategies, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their writing, potentially achieving a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with phrases like "free of charge," "incentivises," "budget deficit," and "intellectual creations." These terms reflect an ability to discuss the topic with some sophistication. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "visitors" is repeated, and synonyms such as "patrons" or "guests" could enhance the lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "art museums," alternatives like "cultural institutions" or "art galleries" could be employed. Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs would enrich the text.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For example, the phrase "forgo selling tickets" could be more clearly expressed as "forgoing ticket sales." Additionally, the term "art entities" may not be the most appropriate choice; "art institutions" or "museums" would be clearer and more commonly understood.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should review their word choices and consider whether they convey the intended meaning effectively. Using a thesaurus can help find more suitable synonyms, but it is crucial to ensure that the chosen words fit the context. Practicing paraphrasing sentences can also aid in developing a more precise vocabulary.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "incentivises" (which is correct in British English but may be spelled "incentivizes" in American English) and "prompt" (which should be "prompts" in the context used). Overall, spelling is mostly accurate, but these minor errors can detract from the overall impression.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, perhaps using spell-check tools or reading the essay aloud to catch errors. Additionally, familiarizing themselves with commonly misspelled words and practicing spelling can be beneficial. Keeping a personal list of frequently used terms and their correct spellings can also aid in this area.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in lexical range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, refining word choice, and enhancing spelling practices, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the opening sentence effectively uses a complex structure: "A number of art museums all over the world are free of charge, enabling the populace to visit without tickets." This showcases the writer’s ability to combine clauses and convey detailed information. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as the frequent use of "is that" and "therefore," which can make the writing feel less dynamic.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should consider using more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "The key advantage" or "On the contrary," the writer could use phrases like "One significant benefit" or "Conversely." Additionally, incorporating more relative clauses and participial phrases could add complexity and interest to the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few noticeable errors. For instance, the phrase "forgo selling tickets is a loss of a resource" should be revised to "forgoing selling tickets represents a loss of revenue." Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "therefore" in the sentence "Without any expenses, people are significantly more willing to pay a visit to a place of interest, therefore contributing to a substantial amount of annual visitors." This comma splice creates a run-on sentence that affects clarity.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review the use of gerunds and infinitives, ensuring they are used correctly in context. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding conjunctions and transitional phrases, will help avoid run-on sentences. It may also be beneficial to proofread the essay for common grammatical mistakes and to read sentences aloud to catch errors in flow and punctuation.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, but there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

A number of art museums all over the world are free of charge, enabling the public to visit without purchasing tickets. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this system and explain why it is advantageous to offer complimentary access to art museums.

The key advantage of free admission to exhibitions is that it encourages the public to view art. Without any costs, individuals are significantly more inclined to visit a place of interest, thereby contributing to a substantial number of annual visitors. An increase in tourists is in tandem with rising prominence and publicity, thus enhancing museums’ images within the travel industry.

On the other hand, offering access to art exhibitions at no cost can lead to a budget deficit. This is because forgoing ticket sales results in a loss of revenue for the museum. Additionally, other expenditures, such as maintenance services or security, tend to increase in correlation with the potential growing number of visitors. For this reason, art museums are at risk of facing financial shortfalls and even bankruptcy.

Despite the aforementioned drawback, art institutions are encouraged to maintain the current access policy. Firstly, offering incentives to view and appreciate artworks could foster people’s fondness and admiration for intellectual creations, thereby raising public awareness of the importance of preserving intellectual property. Another justification is that although providing complimentary admission may compel museums to operate as non-profit institutions, they can still generate income through retailing goods, souvenirs, or refreshments, as well as offering special services for those who pay.

In conclusion, complimentary admission to art museums has both advantages and disadvantages. However, it is recommended to retain this policy, as the potential shortcomings may be somewhat offset by alternative revenue-generating methods.