Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

In contemporary society, an increasing number of individuals who are opting to have children later in life has sparked a degree of controversy among the public. This essay aims to examine several factors contributing to this trend and analyze its associated drawbacks.

There are a number of compelling reasons why young married couples decide to delay parenthood. First, due to intensifying competition in the labor market, many couples prioritize investing time, effort, and finances into their careers, which allows them to dedicate more hours and commitment to their work, leading to higher incomes. Second, by recognizing the significant responsibility of raising children, some young people procrastinate childbirth. This means that feeding and educating children requires significant perseverance and effort, thereby discouraging many would-be parents.

I believe that this trend might have disadvantages to some extent. One detrimental consequence is that having children later will cause a significant age gap between the two generations. This makes it harder for parents to understand and communicate with their offspring. Additionally, it is important to acknowledge the potential drawbacks of delaying childbirth. Older women face an increased risk of health complications that can impact both maternal well-being and infant health. Research suggests that advanced maternal age is associated with a higher likelihood of birth defects and neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism.

In conclusion, the decision to postpone having children is often motivated by a focus on career advancement and personal fulfillment. However, it is essential to recognize the potential risks associated with delayed parenthood, such as maternal health concerns and challenges in child development. By carefully weighing these factors, individuals can make informed choices that align with their unique circumstances.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"opting to have children later in life" -> "choosing to delay parenthood"
Explanation: "Choosing to delay parenthood" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquial tone of "opting to have children later in life."
"an increasing number of individuals" -> "an increasing number of people"
Explanation: "People" is more commonly used in academic writing than "individuals" in this context, making the phrase more natural and less formal.
"has sparked a degree of controversy" -> "has generated significant controversy"
Explanation: "Generated significant controversy" is more direct and academically appropriate, avoiding the vague "degree of."
"compelling reasons" -> "strong reasons"
Explanation: "Strong reasons" is a more straightforward and academically suitable term compared to "compelling," which can be seen as overly emotional.
"due to intensifying competition in the labor market" -> "owing to increasing competition in the labor market"
Explanation: "Owing to" is a more formal transitional phrase than "due to," enhancing the academic tone.
"investing time, effort, and finances" -> "devoting time, effort, and resources"
Explanation: "Devoting" and "resources" are more precise and formal terms, suitable for academic writing.
"dedicate more hours and commitment" -> "commit more time and resources"
Explanation: "Commit more time and resources" is a more formal and precise way to express dedication in a professional context.
"by recognizing the significant responsibility of raising children" -> "acknowledging the significant responsibility of child-rearing"
Explanation: "Acknowledging" is more formal than "recognizing," and "child-rearing" is a more academic term than "raising children."
"procrastinate childbirth" -> "delay childbirth"
Explanation: "Delay" is the correct term for putting off an action, whereas "procrastinate" implies avoiding or delaying due to lack of motivation, which is not the intended meaning here.
"feeding and educating children requires significant perseverance and effort" -> "raising children demands considerable perseverance and effort"
Explanation: "Raising children" is a more formal term than "feeding and educating," and "demands" is more appropriate than "requires" in this context.
"having children later will cause a significant age gap" -> "delaying parenthood will result in a significant age gap"
Explanation: "Delaying parenthood" is more precise and formal than "having children later," and "result in" is more academically appropriate than "cause."
"Older women face an increased risk of health complications" -> "older women are at a higher risk of health complications"
Explanation: "Are at a higher risk" is a more formal and precise way to express the increased likelihood of health complications.
"Research suggests that advanced maternal age is associated with a higher likelihood of birth defects and neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism" -> "Research indicates that advanced maternal age is linked to an increased risk of birth defects and neurodevelopmental disorders, including autism"
Explanation: "Indicates" is more formal than "suggests," and "linked to an increased risk" is more precise than "associated with a higher likelihood," and "including" is more appropriate than "such as" for listing examples.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons for the trend of having children later in life, such as career prioritization and the recognition of parenting responsibilities. Additionally, it discusses the advantages and disadvantages of this trend, mentioning both the generational gap and health risks associated with advanced maternal age. The essay provides a balanced view, which is crucial for a high score in this criterion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could benefit from a more explicit comparison of the advantages and disadvantages. For instance, after discussing the drawbacks, the author could directly contrast these with the benefits of delaying parenthood, such as increased financial stability or personal maturity, to provide a clearer evaluation of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the trend of delayed parenthood, acknowledging both its merits and drawbacks. The author states, "I believe that this trend might have disadvantages to some extent," which indicates a nuanced understanding of the topic. However, the position could be more assertively stated, particularly in the conclusion, where the author could explicitly state whether they believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the author should consider explicitly stating their stance in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. For example, a clear thesis statement could be included that indicates whether the author believes the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which would guide the reader throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as the impact of career focus on family planning and the health risks associated with advanced maternal age. Each point is supported by relevant explanations and examples, such as the mention of research linking advanced maternal age to health complications. However, some ideas could be further extended with additional examples or statistics to enhance their persuasive power.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the author could incorporate specific examples or data to illustrate the points made. For instance, citing statistics on the increasing age of first-time parents or studies showing the benefits of financial stability before parenthood would provide stronger evidence for the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the reasons for the trend and its advantages and disadvantages without deviating into unrelated areas. The structure is logical, with a clear progression from reasons to implications. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt, particularly in the analysis of advantages versus disadvantages.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the prompt. For example, when discussing disadvantages, it would be beneficial to explicitly link these back to the reasons for delaying parenthood, thereby reinforcing the connection between the two aspects of the prompt. This could involve framing each disadvantage in the context of the reasons previously discussed, creating a more cohesive argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is organized in a logical manner, with a clear introduction that outlines the topic and purpose. The body paragraphs effectively present reasons for delaying parenthood, followed by a discussion of the disadvantages. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a coherent flow of ideas. For instance, the transition from discussing career priorities to the responsibilities of parenthood is well-executed, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly state the main idea. This can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Additionally, integrating more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs could reinforce the connections between ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the discussion. The first body paragraph addresses reasons for delaying parenthood, while the second discusses the disadvantages. This clear separation aids readability and comprehension. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from a more balanced structure, as it primarily focuses on disadvantages without a clear transition back to the advantages discussed earlier.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, consider adding a brief summary or transition sentence at the end of the first body paragraph that hints at the forthcoming discussion on disadvantages. This would create a more cohesive structure and reinforce the relationship between the two sides of the argument. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a consistent focus and develops its main idea thoroughly.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "first," "second," and "additionally," which help to structure the argument and guide the reader through the points made. There are also instances of more complex cohesive devices, such as "this means that" and "however," which effectively signal shifts in the argument and contrast between ideas. This variety contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking phrases and connectors. For example, using phrases like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" could enhance the discussion of advantages versus disadvantages. Additionally, employing more sophisticated cohesive devices, such as "consequently" or "as a result," could further clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially reaching a band score of 9.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with phrases like "intensifying competition," "significant responsibility," and "detrimental consequence." These expressions reflect an ability to convey complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the use of "significant" and "significantly," which could be varied to enhance the lexical range further.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "significant," alternatives like "considerable," "substantial," or "noteworthy" could be used. Additionally, using more idiomatic expressions or collocations related to the topic could enrich the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "procrastinate childbirth" is somewhat awkward; "postpone childbirth" or "delay childbirth" would be more appropriate. The term "would-be parents" is correctly used, but the context could be clearer if it were elaborated upon.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should consider the context in which certain words are used. Reviewing synonyms and their connotations can help in selecting the most appropriate term. Additionally, providing more context or explanation for terms like "would-be parents" can help clarify the intended meaning.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "contemporary," "individuals," and "responsibility" are spelled correctly, reflecting attention to detail and a solid grasp of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Engaging in regular spelling practice, such as using flashcards or spelling apps, can also reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, reading extensively can help familiarize the writer with correct spellings in context.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, with room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and continued attention to spelling accuracy. By incorporating these suggestions, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "This means that feeding and educating children requires significant perseverance and effort, thereby discouraging many would-be parents" effectively conveys intricate ideas. Additionally, the essay includes a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain reader engagement. However, while the range is impressive, there are instances where the sentence structure could be further diversified. For example, the phrase "due to intensifying competition in the labor market" could be rephrased to incorporate a different structure, such as starting with a dependent clause: "As competition in the labor market intensifies, many couples prioritize…"
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more conditional sentences and varied introductory phrases. For example, using "Although many couples prioritize their careers, they must also consider the implications of delaying parenthood" could add depth. Additionally, integrating more passive constructions or participial phrases would further diversify the sentence structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "this trend might have disadvantages to some extent" could be more clearly expressed as "this trend may have some disadvantages." Punctuation is mostly correct, with commas used effectively to separate clauses, such as in "which allows them to dedicate more hours and commitment to their work." However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas, particularly in longer sentences where additional commas could enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay attention to word choice and clarity. Revising sentences for conciseness can help eliminate ambiguity. For example, instead of "this means that feeding and educating children requires significant perseverance and effort," consider simplifying it to "feeding and educating children requires considerable effort." Additionally, review punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, to ensure they enhance rather than hinder readability. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on drafts can also aid in refining these skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, an increasing number of individuals who are choosing to have children later in life has generated significant controversy among the public. This essay aims to examine several factors contributing to this trend and analyze its associated drawbacks.

There are a number of strong reasons why young married couples decide to delay parenthood. First, owing to increasing competition in the labor market, many couples prioritize devoting time, effort, and resources to their careers, which allows them to commit more time and resources to their work, leading to higher incomes. Second, by acknowledging the significant responsibility of child-rearing, some young people choose to delay childbirth. This means that raising children demands considerable perseverance and effort, thereby discouraging many would-be parents.

I believe that this trend might have disadvantages to some extent. One detrimental consequence is that delaying parenthood will result in a significant age gap between the two generations. This makes it harder for parents to understand and communicate with their offspring. Additionally, it is important to recognize the potential drawbacks of delaying childbirth. Older women are at a higher risk of health complications that can impact both maternal well-being and infant health. Research indicates that advanced maternal age is linked to an increased risk of birth defects and neurodevelopmental disorders, including autism.