Nowadays traffic in major cities is worsening. What problems does it create? How can we help solve these problems as individuals? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays traffic in major cities is worsening. What problems does it create? How can we help solve these problems as individuals?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In recent years, traffic congestion in major urban areas has reached alarming levels, significantly impacting people’s emotions and the environment. Therefore, it is crucial for individuals to take proactive steps to help mitigate the effects of heavy traffic, such as using communal transport options or bypassing peak times.
One major problem caused by road congestion is the rise of air pollution. Exhaust emissions from cars, buses, and motorcycles release harmful pollutants, including particulate matter, into the atmosphere. For instance, in Ho Chi Minh City, high pollution levels are common in busy areas such as major roads, especially during rush hours. Another significant consequence is the amount of time and productivity lost. People spend hours stuck in traffic, which can lead to increased stress and frustration. This wasted time could otherwise be spent on constructive tasks, leisure, or work.
To minimize these issues, individuals should consider using public transportation and commuting earlier. Public transport, carpooling or biking instead of driving can decrease the number of vehicles on the road, leading to less pollution and more efficient travel times. Furthermore, sidestepping rush hour traffic when possible can help reduce the number of cars on the road at any given time. For instance, citizens can go to work about 15 minutes earlier than usual to avoid road congestion. By doing so, they not only contribute to a cleaner environment but also foster a healthier population, and more efficient use of time.
In conclusion, heavy traffic poses many challenges to urban areas, impacting air quality, people’s feeling, and productivity. By adopting proactive measures such as using mass transport and staying clear of rush hour, individuals can help ease traffic buildup and its harmful effects.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "In recent years" -> "In the recent years"
   Explanation: Adding "the" before "years" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more formal and precise in academic writing.

2. "alarming levels" -> "alarming extent"
   Explanation: "Alarming extent" is a more precise and formal term that better conveys the severity of the issue in an academic context.

3. "people’s emotions" -> "individuals’ emotional well-being"
   Explanation: "Individuals’ emotional well-being" is a more specific and formal way to refer to the impact on people’s feelings, aligning better with academic style.

4. "take proactive steps" -> "adopt proactive measures"
   Explanation: "Adopt proactive measures" is a more formal expression that is commonly used in academic and professional contexts to describe intentional actions.

5. "using communal transport options" -> "utilizing public transportation options"
   Explanation: "Utilizing public transportation options" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the use of shared transportation systems.

6. "bypassing peak times" -> "avoiding peak hours"
   Explanation: "Avoiding peak hours" is a more specific and formal term that is commonly used in discussions about traffic management.

7. "rise of air pollution" -> "increase in air pollution"
   Explanation: "Increase in air pollution" is a more accurate and formal way to describe the growth of pollution levels.

8. "For instance, in Ho Chi Minh City, high pollution levels are common" -> "For example, in Ho Chi Minh City, high levels of pollution are prevalent"
   Explanation: "For example" is more formal than "For instance," and "prevalent" is a more precise term than "common" in describing widespread conditions.

9. "amount of time and productivity lost" -> "amount of time and productivity lost"
   Explanation: This is a correction to maintain parallel structure and clarity in the sentence.

10. "spend hours stuck in traffic" -> "spend hours in traffic"
    Explanation: Removing "stuck" simplifies the phrase and maintains a formal tone.

11. "could otherwise be spent on constructive tasks, leisure, or work" -> "could be allocated to constructive activities, leisure, or work"
    Explanation: "Allocated to" is more formal and precise than "spent on," and "activities" is a broader term that encompasses tasks and leisure.

12. "Public transport, carpooling or biking" -> "public transportation, carpooling, or biking"
    Explanation: Adding "transportation" corrects the noun form, and the comma after "carpooling" improves readability and formality.

13. "foster a healthier population" -> "promote public health"
    Explanation: "Promote public health" is a more specific and formal phrase that directly addresses the health benefits of reduced traffic congestion.

14. "people’s feeling" -> "individuals’ feelings"
    Explanation: "Individuals’ feelings" corrects the possessive form and pluralizes "feeling" to match the plural subject "individuals."

15. "people can help ease traffic buildup" -> "individuals can contribute to alleviating traffic congestion"
    Explanation: "Contribute to alleviating traffic congestion" is a more formal and precise way to describe the role of individuals in reducing traffic issues.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying specific problems caused by traffic congestion, such as air pollution and lost productivity. The author also provides solutions, suggesting the use of public transportation and adjusting commuting times. The examples, particularly the reference to Ho Chi Minh City, illustrate the issues well.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more diverse examples or statistics to reinforce the points made. Additionally, discussing more than two problems or solutions would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the prompt, potentially leading to a more comprehensive answer.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that individuals can play a significant role in alleviating traffic problems. The stance is consistent throughout, with each paragraph supporting the idea that proactive measures can lead to positive outcomes.
  • How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could benefit from a more explicit statement of the author’s viewpoint inthe introduction. A stronger thesis statement could guide the reader more effectively and reinforce the essay’s overall argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly and supported with relevant examples. The discussion of air pollution and productivity loss is well-developed, and the suggested solutions are practical and actionable. However, some points could be further elaborated, such as the specific benefits of public transport beyond reducing congestion.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author could include more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the effectiveness of the proposed solutions. Additionally, integrating counterarguments or discussing potential challenges to implementing these solutions could provide a more balanced view.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the problems of traffic congestion and the individual actions that can mitigate these issues. There are no significant deviations from the topic, which helps maintain clarity and coherence.
  • How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the author should avoid introducing any tangential ideas that do not directly relate to the prompt. A careful review of each paragraph to confirm relevance before finalizing the essay can help maintain this focus.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task, with clear organization and relevant examples. With minor adjustments in elaboration and clarity, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the problem of traffic congestion and its implications. Each paragraph effectively addresses a specific aspect of the topic, with the first discussing the problems caused by traffic and the second focusing on potential solutions. For example, the transition from discussing air pollution to time lost due to traffic is smooth and maintains the reader’s understanding of the issues at hand.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between ideas. For instance, when transitioning from the discussion of air pollution to productivity loss, a phrase like "In addition to environmental concerns, traffic congestion also affects…" could strengthen the connection between these points.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into problems and solutions, and the conclusion summarizes the key points. However, the second paragraph could be further divided to separate the discussion of air pollution from the loss of productivity, which would allow for a more focused exploration of each issue.
  • How to improve: Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance readability and focus. For example, the second paragraph could be split into two: one dedicated to air pollution and the other to the impact on productivity. This would allow for a more detailed examination of each problem while maintaining clarity.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "therefore," "for instance," and "furthermore," which contribute to the overall coherence of the text. These devices help guide the reader through the arguments and examples presented. However, there is a tendency to rely on a few types of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "for instance," consider alternatives like "such as," "for example," or "to illustrate." Additionally, using contrasting cohesive devices like "however" or "on the other hand" when discussing counterarguments or alternative perspectives could enrich the essay’s cohesion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, effectively addressing the prompt while maintaining a logical flow. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and depth of their arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "traffic congestion," "pollution," "communal transport," and "exhaust emissions." However, it tends to rely on common phrases and lacks more sophisticated or varied lexical choices. For instance, the phrase "heavy traffic" is repeated, which could be replaced with synonyms like "traffic jams" or "road congestion" to enhance variety.
  • How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "traffic," they could use "vehicular flow" or "roadway conditions." Reading more advanced texts or using vocabulary-building tools could help expand their lexical range.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "people’s feelings" is vague and could be more specifically articulated as "people’s mental well-being" or "emotional states." Additionally, the term "mass transport" is somewhat ambiguous and could be better expressed as "public transportation systems."
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on the specific meanings of words and choose terms that convey their ideas more clearly. Engaging with vocabulary exercises that emphasize context and connotation can help in selecting more precise words.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains no significant spelling errors, indicating a good level of spelling accuracy. Words like "congestion," "pollution," and "productivity" are spelled correctly, which reflects a solid grasp of basic spelling conventions.
  • How to improve: To maintain and improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing spelling through writing exercises can also be beneficial. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words can help reinforce correct spelling in future essays.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a competent use of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and continued attention to spelling. By actively expanding their vocabulary and focusing on precise word choices, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures. For example, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases such as "Exhaust emissions from cars, buses, and motorcycles release harmful pollutants, including particulate matter, into the atmosphere." This sentence effectively combines multiple clauses to convey a detailed idea. Additionally, the essay includes compound sentences, such as "By adopting proactive measures such as using mass transport and staying clear of rush hour, individuals can help ease traffic buildup and its harmful effects." This variety enhances the overall readability and sophistication of the writing.
  • How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, starting sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Although many people prefer driving alone, using public transport can significantly reduce traffic congestion.") can add complexity. Additionally, employing more passive voice constructions where appropriate could enhance the range of grammatical forms used.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For instance, the phrase "significantly impacting people’s emotions and the environment" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "people’s feeling," which should be "people’s feelings" to reflect the plural form correctly. Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "and more efficient use of time" in the concluding sentence.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay close attention to pluralization and ensure that all nouns are appropriately modified. A thorough proofreading process can help catch these minor errors. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can enhance clarity. For example, adding a comma before conjunctions in a series or before "which" in non-restrictive clauses can improve readability.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt with a strong command of grammatical structures and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical details, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, traffic congestion in major urban areas has reached alarming levels, significantly impacting individuals’ emotional well-being and the environment. Therefore, it is crucial for individuals to adopt proactive measures to help mitigate the effects of heavy traffic, such as utilizing public transportation options or avoiding peak hours.

One major problem caused by road congestion is the increase in air pollution. Exhaust emissions from cars, buses, and motorcycles release harmful pollutants, including particulate matter, into the atmosphere. For example, in Ho Chi Minh City, high levels of pollution are prevalent in busy areas such as major roads, especially during rush hours. Another significant consequence is the amount of time and productivity lost. People spend hours in traffic, which can lead to increased stress and frustration. This wasted time could otherwise be allocated to constructive activities, leisure, or work.

To minimize these issues, individuals should consider using public transportation and commuting earlier. Public transportation, carpooling, or biking instead of driving can decrease the number of vehicles on the road, leading to less pollution and more efficient travel times. Furthermore, avoiding peak hours when possible can help reduce the number of cars on the road at any given time. For instance, citizens can go to work about 15 minutes earlier than usual to alleviate road congestion. By doing so, they not only contribute to a cleaner environment but also promote public health and more efficient use of time.

In conclusion, heavy traffic poses many challenges to urban areas, impacting air quality, individuals’ feelings, and productivity. By adopting proactive measures such as using public transportation and steering clear of rush hour, individuals can contribute to alleviating traffic congestion and its harmful effects.