People in community now could buy cheaper consumer goods. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many areas, people are buying a variety of products at a cheaper price than before. Even though there are some drawbacks that are related to quality and well-being that should be considered, I believe the benefits of this trend still outweigh the disadvantages.

To begin with, There are also some disadvantages with products being cheap. One of them is the problems with quality, because cheaper materials that could be easily broken are often used to lower the cost. So when buying underpriced products, we have to be really careful about their reliability. Another problem is that bad quality might also come with factors which could negatively affect our health. Bad materials and ingredients could contain chemicals that are toxic and lead to many health problems afterwards.

On the other hand, Consumers benefit a lot from the decrease in price of goods. First, this trend could save more money for buyers and as a result, they can use that savings for other expenditures. Moreover, people would also be less worried and stressed about spending too much. Because of this, their quality of life quality may be improved because they could buy more to reach their demand now. For example, with the money they have, they could only purchase a hotdog in the past. But with the declining prices of goods, they could buy a hotdog plus a box of milk with the same costs.

In conclusion, although the fall in price of products could also mean decreasing in quality and safety, I still believe that those could be solved by careful consuming and that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as people could save more money with a more comfortable life

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"people are buying" -> "individuals are purchasing"
Explanation: Replacing "people are buying" with "individuals are purchasing" employs a more formal term, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"cheaper price" -> "lower price"
Explanation: "Lower price" is a more precise and formal expression compared to "cheaper price," which sounds somewhat informal.
"drawbacks" -> "limitations"
Explanation: While "drawbacks" is not incorrect, "limitations" is a more formal term that fits better in academic writing.
"There are also some disadvantages" -> "Furthermore, there are several disadvantages"
Explanation: "Furthermore, there are several disadvantages" transitions more smoothly and formally, indicating a continuation of thought with a more precise quantifier.
"cheaper materials that could be easily broken" -> "inexpensive materials prone to damage"
Explanation: "Inexpensive materials prone to damage" is a more formal and precise way of expressing the idea, avoiding the informal "cheaper" and the vague "could be easily broken."
"we have to be really careful" -> "consumers must exercise caution"
Explanation: "Consumers must exercise caution" is more formal and avoids the informal "we have to be really careful."
"bad quality" -> "poor quality"
Explanation: "Poor quality" is a more academically appropriate term than "bad quality."
"could contain chemicals that are toxic" -> "may contain harmful chemicals"
Explanation: "May contain harmful chemicals" is more concise and formal, avoiding the redundancy of "chemicals that are toxic."
"Consumers benefit a lot" -> "Consumers significantly benefit"
Explanation: "Significantly benefit" is a more formal expression, enhancing the academic tone.
"save more money for buyers" -> "result in financial savings for consumers"
Explanation: "Result in financial savings for consumers" is a more formal and precise way of expressing the idea.
"less worried and stressed" -> "less concerned and anxious"
Explanation: "Less concerned and anxious" employs more formal vocabulary to describe emotional states.
"their quality of life quality" -> "their overall quality of life"
Explanation: "Their overall quality of life" corrects the redundancy and enhances clarity and formality.
"could only purchase" -> "were only able to purchase"
Explanation: "Were only able to purchase" is more formal and precise.
"with the declining prices of goods" -> "owing to the declining prices of goods"
Explanation: "Owing to" is a more formal expression than "with," providing a clearer causal connection.
"could buy a hotdog plus a box of milk with the same costs" -> "could afford both a hotdog and a box of milk for the same cost"
Explanation: "Could afford both a hotdog and a box of milk for the same cost" is more precise and formal, avoiding the informal "plus" and clarifying the idea.
"fall in price of products could also mean decreasing in quality and safety" -> "decline in product prices may also imply a reduction in quality and safety"
Explanation: "Decline in product prices may also imply a reduction in quality and safety" uses more formal vocabulary and provides a clearer, more academic expression of the idea.
"could be solved by careful consuming" -> "can be mitigated through cautious consumption"
Explanation: "Can be mitigated through cautious consumption" is more formal and precise, replacing the informal "could be solved by careful consuming."
"with a more comfortable life" -> "leading to a more comfortable lifestyle"
Explanation: "Leading to a more comfortable lifestyle" is more formal and provides a clearer connection to the preceding benefits.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of cheaper consumer goods. It acknowledges drawbacks related to quality and well-being while asserting that the benefits outweigh the negatives.
- How to improve: To enhance completeness, provide a deeper analysis of the disadvantages and explore potential solutions to mitigate them. Additionally, ensure that each point directly relates to the prompt to avoid tangential discussions.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, arguing that the benefits of cheaper goods outweigh the disadvantages. This position is consistently upheld, as evidenced by statements such as "I believe the benefits of this trend still outweigh the disadvantages."
- How to improve: Strengthen clarity by explicitly stating the position in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. Provide stronger transitions between paragraphs to reinforce the essay’s stance and coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented adequately, but there is room for improvement in extension and support. While the essay mentions drawbacks such as quality concerns and health risks, it lacks in-depth analysis and specific examples to bolster these points. However, it effectively extends and supports the advantages of cheaper goods with examples such as increased purchasing power.
- How to improve: Elaborate on each point by providing detailed examples and evidence to strengthen the argument. Ensure a balanced discussion by offering equal attention to both advantages and disadvantages, supported by relevant data or real-life scenarios.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing the prompt’s central theme of whether the advantages of cheaper consumer goods outweigh the disadvantages. However, there are minor instances where the discussion could be more focused, particularly in the paragraph discussing quality concerns.
- How to improve: Maintain focus by ensuring that each paragraph directly contributes to answering the prompt. Avoid digressions or unrelated tangents, and consistently refer back to the main topic throughout the essay to reinforce coherence.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing more comprehensive analysis and supporting evidence. By enhancing the depth of discussion and maintaining coherence, the essay can further strengthen its argumentation and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt at organizing information logically. It begins with an introduction stating the author’s position, followed by two body paragraphs presenting arguments for both advantages and disadvantages. However, there is some inconsistency in the organization within paragraphs, particularly in the second paragraph where the discussion shifts abruptly from the drawbacks of cheaper products to the benefits without a smooth transition.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and maintains coherence throughout. Use transitional phrases to smoothly transition between ideas, helping readers follow the logical flow of arguments.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphing adequately, with clear separation of ideas into distinct paragraphs. However, the structure within paragraphs could be strengthened. Each paragraph should ideally contain a topic sentence introducing the main idea, supporting details, and a concluding sentence summarizing the paragraph’s content. Some paragraphs lack this cohesive structure, resulting in less effective organization.
- How to improve: Focus on structuring paragraphs more effectively by including clear topic sentences that encapsulate the main point of each paragraph. Ensure supporting details directly relate to the topic sentence and use transitions to connect ideas within paragraphs for smoother coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a basic range of cohesive devices to connect ideas, such as transition words and phrases (‘To begin with’, ‘On the other hand’, ‘In conclusion’). However, there is limited variation, and some connections between ideas feel abrupt or forced. Additionally, cohesive devices could be utilized more consistently to improve overall coherence.
- How to improve: Increase the variety of cohesive devices used throughout the essay to create stronger connections between ideas. Incorporate a mix of transitional words, pronouns, synonyms, and parallel structures to enhance coherence. Ensure cohesive devices are used consistently to maintain coherence within and between paragraphs.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an attempt at logical organization and paragraphing, there is room for improvement in ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and enhancing the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. By focusing on these areas, the author can strengthen the structure and clarity of their arguments, potentially achieving a higher band score for Coherence and Cohesion in future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "variety of products," "drawbacks," "reliability," "toxic," "expenditures," "quality of life," and "advantages outweigh the disadvantages." These lexical choices effectively convey the writer’s ideas and arguments.
- How to improve: While the essay exhibits a good range of vocabulary, further enrichment could enhance its depth and sophistication. Introducing more nuanced synonyms or exploring alternative expressions would elevate the lexical resource score. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "cheap" and "cheaper," the writer could employ synonyms like "inexpensive," "affordable," or "cost-effective" to add diversity and precision to their vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with reasonable precision. For instance, phrases like "problems with quality," "bad materials," and "careful consuming" effectively convey the intended meanings. However, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "quality of life quality" and "a more comfortable life," which could be refined for clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should aim for consistency and clarity in their vocabulary choices. Avoiding redundancies like "quality of life quality" and opting for clearer expressions would strengthen the essay’s effectiveness. For instance, replacing "a more comfortable life" with "an improved standard of living" would convey the same idea more precisely.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits generally correct spelling throughout, with no significant errors detracting from readability. However, there are minor issues such as "There" instead of "There," "expenditures" instead of "expenditures," and "decreasing" instead of "decreasing," which do not significantly impede understanding but could be rectified for improved accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, diligent proofreading and spell-checking practices are recommended. Additionally, paying close attention to commonly misspelled words and practicing their correct usage can further mitigate spelling errors. Utilizing tools like grammar and spell-check software can also assist in identifying and correcting such errors efficiently.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of structures used. For instance, there is a tendency towards using simple sentences, which can lead to a lack of sophistication in expression. Complex sentences, incorporating subordinate clauses and phrases, are somewhat limited. Additionally, sentence beginnings often follow a similar pattern, which can make the writing feel repetitive.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, try incorporating more complex sentences with varied sentence beginnings. This could involve using introductory phrases, dependent clauses, and varied sentence lengths to add complexity and depth to the writing. Experiment with different sentence structures to convey ideas more effectively and engage the reader.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are several instances of grammatical errors and inconsistencies throughout the essay. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("their quality of life quality"), article usage ("a variety of products" should be "various products"), and punctuation errors (missing commas after introductory phrases).
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it’s essential to review the rules of grammar and punctuation. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation rules, especially regarding commas and apostrophes. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors more effectively. Revising and proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help to eliminate grammatical inaccuracies and enhance the overall clarity of expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

In various communities, individuals are now able to purchase a variety of products at a lower price compared to previous times. While there are certain limitations related to quality and well-being that must be taken into account, I am of the opinion that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

To begin with, there are indeed some drawbacks associated with the availability of cheaper products. One of these is the issue of quality, as inexpensive materials prone to damage are often utilized to reduce costs. Therefore, consumers must exercise caution when purchasing these products to ensure their reliability. Furthermore, there is a risk that such products may contain harmful chemicals that could pose health risks.

However, it is important to acknowledge that consumers significantly benefit from the decrease in product prices. Firstly, this can result in financial savings for consumers, allowing them to allocate those savings towards other expenses. Additionally, individuals may feel less concerned and anxious about their spending habits, leading to an overall improvement in their quality of life. For instance, previously, they were only able to purchase a hotdog with their available funds. Yet, owing to the declining prices of goods, they could afford both a hotdog and a box of milk for the same cost.

In conclusion, while the decline in product prices may also imply a reduction in quality and safety, these concerns can be mitigated through cautious consumption. Ultimately, the benefits of lower prices outweigh the disadvantages, leading to a more comfortable lifestyle for consumers.