Some international companies are very powerful now and many people believe that it is a negative development. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your reasons and relevant examples

Nowdays, multinational corporations become more and more powerful and able to influence on global markets and even politics. It could be both positive and negative for an economic and a social development. For my point of view, disadvantages outweigh the advantages by now.

In the modern world of globalization, we all witness how big companies can displace or merge their business rivals, resulting in reduction in competition. Undoubtedly, large businesses can optimize their costs more effectively and offer better prices. But in the end, when there will be no over options for consumers, monopolies can put any price they want and use this situation for unlimited enrichment. For example, we can observe the severe energy crisis in Europe, caused by refusal to increase deliveries by the Gasprom company as the major source of gas. Therefore, at the moment Gas price in Europe has renewed its historical maximum.

Another serios threat comes from Social Media giants, which are already controlling the information and the media content worldwide. Private companies have become a part of state propaganda or sometimes independent political power that manipulates a crowd. For instance, such corporations as Facebook, YouTube and Twitter have banned the former president Trump forever, thus preventing him from an opportunity to communicate with his supporters. So now he has very limited capabilities to run his next president’s campaign, meanwhile as many as half of the americans voted for him in 2020.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the growth of huge international enterprises has the dramatic negative impact on economy and society all over the world because of monopolization of production, services and information.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowdays" -> "Nowadays"
Explanation: "Nowdays" is a typographical error. The correct spelling is "Nowadays," which is the correct form of the adverb meaning "at the present time."
"multinational corporations become more and more powerful" -> "multinational corporations are increasingly powerful"
Explanation: The phrase "become more and more powerful" is redundant and informal. "Are increasingly powerful" is more concise and maintains a formal tone.
"able to influence on global markets and even politics" -> "able to influence global markets and even politics"
Explanation: The preposition "on" is incorrectly used after "influence." The correct preposition is "global," which modifies the noun "markets."
"It could be both positive and negative for an economic and a social development" -> "It can have both positive and negative impacts on economic and social development"
Explanation: "It could be" is vague and informal; "It can have" is more precise and formal. Also, "for an economic and a social development" should be "on economic and social development" for grammatical correctness.
"For my point of view" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "For my point of view" is awkward and informal. "From my perspective" is a more natural and academically appropriate phrase.
"big companies can displace or merge their business rivals" -> "large corporations can acquire or merge with their competitors"
Explanation: "Big companies" is informal; "large corporations" is more precise and formal. "Displace or merge their business rivals" is vague; "acquire or merge with their competitors" is clearer and more specific.
"over options" -> "fewer options"
Explanation: "Over options" is incorrect. "Fewer options" is the correct comparative form for "few" when referring to countable nouns.
"put any price they want" -> "charge any price they choose"
Explanation: "Put any price they want" is informal and imprecise. "Charge any price they choose" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"use this situation for unlimited enrichment" -> "exploit this situation for unlimited enrichment"
Explanation: "Use" is too general and informal; "exploit" is more precise and appropriate in this context, implying a negative manipulation of power.
"Another serios threat" -> "Another serious threat"
Explanation: "Serios" is a typographical error. The correct spelling is "serious."
"controlling the information and the media content worldwide" -> "controlling global information and media content"
Explanation: "The" is unnecessary before "information and media content" as it is not specific. "Global" is more concise and formal.
"Private companies have become a part of state propaganda or sometimes independent political power" -> "Private companies have become instruments of state propaganda or sometimes wield independent political power"
Explanation: "A part of" is vague; "instruments of" is more precise and formal. "Wield" is a more appropriate verb than "have" in this context, suggesting active control.
"have banned the former president Trump forever" -> "permanently banned former President Trump"
Explanation: "Forever" is informal and imprecise; "permanently" is more formal and specific. "Former President" should be capitalized as it refers to a specific office.
"So now he has very limited capabilities to run his next president’s campaign" -> "Thus, he now has severely limited capabilities to run his next presidential campaign"
Explanation: "So now" is informal; "Thus" is more formal. "Very limited" is vague; "severely limited" is more precise. "President’s campaign" should be "presidential campaign" for grammatical correctness.
"as many as half of the americans voted for him in 2020" -> "as many as half of Americans voted for him in 2020"
Explanation: "the americans" should be "Americans" for proper capitalization and grammatical correctness.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear stance that the power of international companies is a negative development. The introduction outlines the dual nature of multinational corporations but ultimately leans towards the disadvantages, which is consistent with the task requirements. The examples provided, such as the energy crisis in Europe and the influence of social media companies, illustrate the negative impacts of these corporations. However, while the essay acknowledges both sides, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of the advantages before firmly concluding on the disadvantages.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, consider briefly discussing the positive aspects of multinational corporations before transitioning to the negative impacts. This would provide a more comprehensive view and strengthen the argument by acknowledging counterpoints.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position against the power of international companies throughout. Phrases like "disadvantages outweigh the advantages" and "I strongly believe" reinforce the author’s stance. However, the transition between discussing the advantages and the disadvantages could be smoother to enhance clarity. The mention of both sides in the introduction is good, but the focus quickly shifts to the negatives without a clear transition.
- How to improve: To maintain clarity, use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For example, after presenting a positive aspect, explicitly state how it leads to negative consequences. This will help in reinforcing the position while maintaining coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and supports them with examples, such as the energy crisis linked to Gazprom and the influence of social media on political discourse. These examples are pertinent and illustrate the points well. However, the development of ideas could be more robust; for instance, the connection between monopolies and consumer choice could be elaborated further to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, consider providing more detailed explanations and additional examples. For instance, when discussing monopolies, you could elaborate on how they affect innovation or consumer rights, thus extending the argument and providing a deeper analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, focusing on the negative implications of powerful international companies. However, there are moments where the argument could be more tightly focused. For example, the discussion of social media companies could be more directly linked to the overarching theme of economic and social impacts rather than just political influence.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph clearly ties back to the main argument about the negative impacts of multinational corporations. Avoid introducing ideas that may seem tangential, and instead, ensure that all examples and discussions directly support the central thesis of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some refinements in the areas of balance, clarity, development, and focus, it could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against the power of multinational corporations, with a logical progression from the introduction to the conclusion. The first paragraph introduces the topic and states the writer’s position, while the subsequent paragraphs provide supporting arguments and examples. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the economic impact of monopolies to the influence of social media companies feels abrupt, lacking a clear connective statement that ties these two points together.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For example, after discussing monopolies, a sentence like "In addition to economic concerns, there are also significant implications for social dynamics" would help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second paragraph could be further divided into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the economic implications of monopolies and the other on the influence of social media. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve readability.
- How to improve: Consider structuring the essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. For instance, start the second paragraph with a sentence that clearly states the focus on monopolies, and then introduce the social media discussion in a new paragraph with its own topic sentence. This will help clarify the main ideas for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "therefore," to link ideas and provide evidence. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, which can make the writing feel repetitive. Additionally, some phrases are used incorrectly, such as "influence on global markets," which should be "influence global markets."
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in contrast," and "consequently." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Additionally, ensure that phrases are used correctly to maintain clarity and precision in expression.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on improving transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their writing, potentially raising their band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "multinational corporations," "global markets," and "monopolies." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "powerful" and "negative." The use of synonyms or more varied expressions could enhance the overall lexical diversity. For example, instead of repeating "powerful," the writer could use "dominant" or "influential."
- How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. Creating a list of alternative words for common terms used in the essay could help. Additionally, incorporating more specific vocabulary related to economics and politics could strengthen the argument and demonstrate a broader lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "influence on global markets" could be more accurately expressed as "influence global markets." Additionally, "the severe energy crisis in Europe" could be better articulated by specifying the nature of the crisis, such as "the escalating energy crisis." The phrase "the moment Gas price in Europe has renewed its historical maximum" is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarity and conciseness. Reviewing sentences for potential rephrasing can help eliminate ambiguity. Utilizing resources like thesauruses or vocabulary-building apps can also assist in finding more precise terms that convey the intended meaning more effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "Nowdays" (should be "Nowadays"), "Gasprom" (should be "Gazprom"), and "serios" (should be "serious"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse readers.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy. Reading the essay aloud can help catch errors, as can using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can reinforce correct spelling of commonly used terms.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will enhance the overall quality and clarity, potentially leading to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of a complex sentence in the phrase "In the modern world of globalization, we all witness how big companies can displace or merge their business rivals" effectively conveys a nuanced idea. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as the frequent use of "can" and "have," which limits the overall range. The essay also includes some awkward phrasing, such as "for my point of view," which could be more effectively expressed as "from my point of view."
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, and varied introductory phrases. For instance, using phrases like "It is important to note that…" or "One significant aspect is…" can help diversify the sentence openings. Additionally, experimenting with more complex sentences that combine multiple clauses could add depth to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, but there are several notable errors. For example, "Nowdays" should be "Nowadays," and "influence on global markets" should be "influence global markets." The phrase "there will be no over options for consumers" is awkward and should be revised to "there will be no other options for consumers." Punctuation issues are also present, such as the missing comma in "But in the end, when there will be no over options for consumers," which affects the clarity of the sentence. Additionally, the use of "Gasprom" should be corrected to "Gazprom."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as spelling mistakes and incorrect word forms. It may be beneficial to read the essay aloud to catch awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. Furthermore, practicing specific grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, will help enhance overall accuracy. Utilizing grammar-checking tools could also assist in identifying and correcting mistakes before finalizing the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and addressing grammatical and punctuation errors will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, multinational corporations are increasingly powerful and able to influence global markets and even politics. This can have both positive and negative impacts on economic and social development. From my perspective, the disadvantages currently outweigh the advantages.

In the modern world of globalization, we all witness how large companies can acquire or merge with their competitors, resulting in a reduction in competition. Undoubtedly, big businesses can optimize their costs more effectively and offer better prices. However, when there are fewer options for consumers, monopolies can charge any price they choose and exploit this situation for unlimited enrichment. For example, we can observe the severe energy crisis in Europe, caused by the refusal to increase deliveries by Gazprom, the major source of gas. Consequently, gas prices in Europe have reached their historical maximum.

Another serious threat comes from social media giants, which are already controlling global information and media content. Private companies have become instruments of state propaganda or sometimes wield independent political power that manipulates the public. For instance, corporations such as Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter permanently banned former President Trump, thus severely limiting his ability to communicate with his supporters. As a result, he now has very limited capabilities to run his next presidential campaign, even though as many as half of Americans voted for him in 2020.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the growth of huge international enterprises has a dramatically negative impact on the economy and society worldwide due to the monopolization of production, services, and information.