Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

In this day and age, the course is provided on the Internet by some universities to serve individuals who can study online. Despite the merit of this perspective, I believe that allowing people to study from the comfort of their homes has more disadvantages.

On the one hand, studying through Internet-based courses can benefit both college students and universities. From college students' perspective, virtual courses are more flexible and convenient than traditional learning models. For people with hectic schedules who cannot access all direct classes in the university, studying through the Internet may be a way to balance their studies and work. From the tertiary education view, the university budget can be cut down because expenses for in-person classes do not need to be maintained. Therefore, college funding can be allocated for other spending, In consequence, not only student studying is improved but also college budget.

On the other hand, there are stronger disadvantages of the courses on the Internet that are offered by some universities. Firstly, students who study at home may experience distraction during their study time. For example, notifications from mobile phones or noises from construction sites nearby lead to students find difficult to concentrate and poorer academic performance. Focusing on the course plays an important role in all eras; however, virtual courses suffer from a lack of supervision from the lecturer. Therefore the quality of education and quantity of successful students may be decreased by this advance of technology. Secondly, without traditional learning models associated with interactive learning, subjects that require collaboration may be embarrassing for students. If they are unable to engage in in-person conversations, they will lack interpersonal and teamwork skills which are vital for their future opportunities.

In conclusion, while there are some benefits of studying through the Internet for many subjects, I believe that face-to-face classes have a more positive effects compared to virtual courses. The impersonal nature of online learning, the lack of support and resources and the potential negative effects on practical skills are all valid concerns.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression. "Currently" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"the course is provided on the Internet" -> "online courses are offered"
Explanation: "The course is provided on the Internet" is somewhat awkward and vague. "Online courses are offered" is more direct and precise.
"to serve individuals who can study online" -> "for individuals who wish to study online"
Explanation: "To serve individuals who can study online" is passive and unclear. "For individuals who wish to study online" is more active and clearer.
"allowing people to study from the comfort of their homes" -> "permitting students to study from the comfort of their homes"
Explanation: "People" is too general; "students" is more specific and appropriate in this context. "Permitting" is also more formal than "allowing."
"more disadvantages" -> "more significant disadvantages"
Explanation: "More disadvantages" is vague. "More significant disadvantages" clarifies the extent of the drawbacks.
"college students’ perspective" -> "students’ perspective"
Explanation: "College students’" is redundant as "students" already implies the context of higher education.
"virtual courses are more flexible and convenient" -> "virtual courses offer greater flexibility and convenience"
Explanation: "Are more flexible and convenient" is a passive construction. "Offer greater flexibility and convenience" is more active and formal.
"cannot access all direct classes" -> "cannot attend all in-person classes"
Explanation: "Direct classes" is unclear; "in-person classes" is more specific and accurate.
"expenses for in-person classes do not need to be maintained" -> "expenses for in-person classes are eliminated"
Explanation: "Do not need to be maintained" is awkward and unclear. "Are eliminated" is direct and precise.
"In consequence, not only student studying is improved but also college budget" -> "Consequently, both student learning and college budgets are improved"
Explanation: "In consequence" is less formal and "not only student studying is improved but also college budget" is grammatically incorrect. "Consequently" is more formal, and "both student learning and college budgets" corrects the grammatical error and improves clarity.
"students find difficult to concentrate" -> "students find it difficult to concentrate"
Explanation: "Find difficult" is grammatically incorrect. "Find it difficult" is the correct form.
"plays an important role in all eras" -> "plays a crucial role in all eras"
Explanation: "Important" is somewhat vague; "crucial" conveys a stronger, more precise meaning.
"may be embarrassing for students" -> "may be challenging for students"
Explanation: "Embarrassing" is inappropriate and informal in this context. "Challenging" is more neutral and academically appropriate.
"have a more positive effects" -> "have a more positive effect"
Explanation: "Effects" is plural, but "effect" is the correct singular form when referring to a single outcome.
"impersonal nature of online learning" -> "impersonal nature of online education"
Explanation: "Learning" is too broad; "education" is more specific and appropriate in this context.

These changes enhance the formality, clarity, and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of online courses, fulfilling the requirements of the prompt. The introduction clearly states the writer’s position, which is that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The first body paragraph outlines the benefits of online learning, such as flexibility and cost savings for universities. The second body paragraph presents the disadvantages, including distractions and the lack of interpersonal skills development. However, while the advantages are mentioned, they could be elaborated further to provide a more balanced view.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include more specific examples or statistics to support the advantages of online learning. Additionally, discussing how these advantages might mitigate some disadvantages could provide a more nuanced perspective.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that the disadvantages of online courses outweigh the advantages. This stance is consistently reinforced in the body paragraphs and the conclusion. The writer’s belief is evident, particularly in the concluding remarks, which summarize the concerns about online learning.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could use more explicit language to emphasize the contrast between the advantages and disadvantages. Phrases like "Despite the benefits, the drawbacks are more significant" could help reinforce the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The advantages are supported by logical reasoning, such as flexibility and cost-effectiveness. The disadvantages are also well-supported, particularly the points about distractions and the lack of interpersonal skills. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration. For instance, the mention of distractions could include specific strategies that students might use to mitigate these issues.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer could incorporate more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the impact of online learning on students. Additionally, providing counterarguments to the advantages could enrich the discussion and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online learning. The writer does not deviate from the prompt, and each point made is relevant to the central question. However, some sentences could be more concise to enhance clarity and focus.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should aim for more concise phrasing and avoid overly complex sentences that may obscure the main point. Regularly revisiting the prompt during the writing process can help ensure that all content remains relevant and directly addresses the question posed.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the writer’s position. With some enhancements in the areas of elaboration, support, and conciseness, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and conclusion. The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by stating the topic and the writer’s position. The body paragraphs are organized into two main sections: one discussing the advantages of online courses and the other outlining the disadvantages. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the one hand" is appropriately used to introduce the advantages, but the transition to the disadvantages could benefit from a clearer contrast, such as "Conversely" or "In contrast."
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transition phrases that indicate a shift in perspective. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea, which will guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph discusses the advantages, while the second addresses the disadvantages. However, the paragraphs could be further refined to improve clarity. For example, the first body paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be separated into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on student benefits and the other on university benefits.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples. This can be achieved by breaking down complex paragraphs into smaller, more focused ones. Additionally, concluding sentences could be added to summarize the main point of each paragraph, reinforcing the argument and aiding reader comprehension.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "On the one hand," and "In conclusion." These devices help to guide the reader through the text. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where repetition occurs, such as the repeated use of "students" and "courses." The essay also lacks some more sophisticated cohesive devices that could enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms and varied phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "students," you could use "learners," "participants," or "individuals." Additionally, using more advanced cohesive devices, such as "furthermore," "in addition," or "however," can help to create a more nuanced and sophisticated argument. This will not only improve coherence but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates its argument and maintains a clear structure, but there are opportunities for improvement in logical transitions, paragraph focus, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "flexible," "convenient," "distraction," and "interpersonal skills" effectively used to convey ideas. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "the merit of this perspective" is somewhat vague and could be replaced with a more specific term like "benefits" or "advantages."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider incorporating synonyms and more advanced vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeating "students" and "courses," alternatives like "learners" and "programs" could be used. Additionally, using phrases like "the advantages significantly outweigh the drawbacks" would add depth to the argument.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of vocabulary, but there are moments of imprecision. For example, the phrase "students find difficult to concentrate" should be corrected to "students find it difficult to concentrate." This small error affects clarity and demonstrates a lack of precision in language use. Additionally, the term "embarrassing" in the context of collaboration could be misleading; "challenging" or "difficult" would be more appropriate.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure that phrases are grammatically correct. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward or unclear phrases. Furthermore, the writer should aim to use vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning, avoiding words that may confuse the reader.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "In consequence" (which should be "Consequently") and "positive effects" (which should be "positive effect"). These errors, while minor, can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may impact the reader’s perception of the writer’s language proficiency.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay backward (from the last word to the first) can help catch spelling mistakes. Additionally, practicing spelling commonly used academic vocabulary can build confidence and reduce errors in future essays.

In summary, while the essay achieves a solid Band 7 for Lexical Resource, there are clear areas for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and ensuring correct spelling, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "Despite the merit of this perspective, I believe that allowing people to study from the comfort of their homes has more disadvantages" show the use of a complex structure with a subordinate clause. Additionally, the use of transitional phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" effectively organizes the argument. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures that could enhance the essay’s overall fluency.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "students" or "the university," the writer could use participial phrases (e.g., "Having a flexible schedule allows students to…") or adverbial clauses (e.g., "Although online courses provide flexibility, they often lack…"). This would not only enhance the variety but also improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, in the sentence "the university budget can be cut down because expenses for in-person classes do not need to be maintained," the phrase "cut down" is somewhat informal and could be replaced with "reduced" for a more academic tone. Additionally, the phrase "In consequence" should be followed by a comma, and "student studying is improved" is awkwardly phrased; it would be clearer as "students’ academic performance is improved." The use of commas is inconsistent, particularly in complex sentences, which can lead to confusion.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasing. Practicing the use of commas in complex sentences will also help clarify meaning. For instance, breaking up long sentences into shorter ones can improve readability. Furthermore, reviewing grammar rules related to conjunctions and clauses can help avoid run-on sentences and ensure that punctuation is used effectively to separate ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this day and age, courses are provided on the Internet by some universities to serve individuals who wish to study online. Despite the merits of this perspective, I believe that allowing people to study from the comfort of their homes has more significant disadvantages.

On the one hand, studying through Internet-based courses can benefit both college students and universities. From the college students’ perspective, virtual courses offer greater flexibility and convenience than traditional learning models. For people with hectic schedules who cannot attend all in-person classes at the university, studying through the Internet may be a way to balance their studies and work. From the tertiary education view, the university budget can be cut down because expenses for in-person classes are eliminated. Consequently, both student learning and college budgets are improved.

On the other hand, there are more significant disadvantages of the courses on the Internet that are offered by some universities. Firstly, students who study at home may experience distractions during their study time. For example, notifications from mobile phones or noises from construction sites nearby lead to students finding it difficult to concentrate and resulting in poorer academic performance. Focusing on the course plays a crucial role in all eras; however, virtual courses suffer from a lack of supervision from the lecturer. Therefore, the quality of education and the quantity of successful students may be decreased by this advance in technology. Secondly, without traditional learning models associated with interactive learning, subjects that require collaboration may be challenging for students. If they are unable to engage in in-person conversations, they will lack interpersonal and teamwork skills which are vital for their future opportunities.

In conclusion, while there are some benefits of studying through the Internet for many subjects, I believe that face-to-face classes have a more positive effect compared to virtual courses. The impersonal nature of online education, the lack of support and resources, and the potential negative effects on practical skills are all valid concerns.