• Task 1: The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart delineates the variation in England teenagers’ options of commuting to school in a certain year.
Overall, the most noticeable feature in this diagram is that the majority of those students prefer walking to using automobiles in short distance. Moreover, regarding further destinations, buses are more prioritized to employ than cars.

In terms of a short distance less than one mile, 90% of the UK’s adolescents are likely to opt for travelling on foot, compared to approximately half of that who ride to their school. However, the short journey reveals the reversal of this trend, as roughly 75% of the 11-16 aged students would ride their bicycles rather than walk, at 60%. With a 1-2-mile-long path, the percentage of pupils using their bikes, comprising around 47%, competitively doubles that who walk to school. In contrast, all those commuters choose neither to walk on foot nor to cycle over 5 miles to school.

With locations which are over 5 miles far away from their house, the proportion of teenagers choosing buses as a primary mode of transport is over three times as high as the statistic of private cars, which occupies 20%. This diagram shows a significant deviation in the percentage of travelers by buses and cars, with 50% and 30%, respectively. However, those students show a preference for cars when they travel in shorter routes.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"options of commuting" -> "modes of transportation"
Explanation: Using "modes of transportation" instead of "options of commuting" is a more formal and precise way to describe how teenagers travel to school.
"prefer walking to using automobiles" -> "prefer walking over using automobiles"
Explanation: The preposition "over" is more commonly used in this context to show a comparison between walking and using automobiles.
"more prioritized to employ" -> "more commonly used"
Explanation: "More commonly used" is a clearer and more natural way to express that buses are used more frequently than cars for longer distances.
"opt for travelling on foot" -> "choose to travel by foot"
Explanation: "Choose to travel by foot" is a more formal and accurate phrase to describe the action of walking to school.
"ride to their school" -> "drive to their school"
Explanation: "Drive to their school" is a more appropriate term to indicate the action of using a car as a mode of transportation.
"the reversal of this trend" -> "a reversal of this pattern"
Explanation: "A reversal of this pattern" is a more precise way to describe the change in behavior observed in the data.
"competitively doubles that who walk to school" -> "significantly exceeds those who walk to school"
Explanation: "Significantly exceeds those who walk to school" is a more accurate and formal way to express that the percentage of pupils using bikes is much higher than those who walk for a 1-2 mile journey.
"far away from their house" -> "distant from their residence"
Explanation: "Distant from their residence" is a more sophisticated and descriptive way to refer to locations that are far from their homes.
"a significant deviation in the percentage of travelers" -> "a notable disparity in the percentage of commuters"
Explanation: "A notable disparity in the percentage of commuters" is a more precise and formal way to describe the difference in the percentage of teenagers using buses and cars for transportation.
"show a preference for cars" -> "indicate a preference for cars"
Explanation: "Indicate a preference for cars" is a more formal and accurate way to describe the students’ choice of cars for shorter routes.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the chart. It presents a clear overview of the main trends in the commuting habits of children aged 11 to 16 in the UK. The key features, such as the preference for walking for short distances and the shift towards buses for longer distances, are highlighted and illustrated appropriately.

How to improve: To improve the essay and potentially reach a higher band score, the writer could provide more specific data from the chart to support their descriptions. Additionally, they could extend their analysis by discussing the implications of these commuting trends on issues such as environmental sustainability or public transportation policies.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, with a clear progression throughout. The writer effectively uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas within and between sentences. Each paragraph presents clear central topic, focusing on different aspects the data presented in the chart. The sequencing of information is logical, with comparisons made between different modes of transportation based on distance.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion further, the writer could consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, ensuring that paragraphing is consistent and logical throughout the essay will help to enhance the overall structure and organization.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision in conveying the information about the chart. The writer uses less common lexical items such as "delineates," "prioritized," and "comprising," showing some awareness of style and collocation. There are occasional errors in word choice and word formation, such as "ride to their school" instead of "ride to school," and "competitively doubles" which may slightly affect the overall fluency and accuracy.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer can focus on using more varied vocabulary and paying closer attention to word choice and collocation. Additionally, proofreading the essay for spelling and word formation errors can help enhance the overall clarity and accuracy of the content.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates the use of a variety of complex structures, such as comparisons and detailed descriptions of data. There are frequent error-free sentences throughout the essay, showcasing good control of grammar and punctuation. The essay effectively conveys the information from the chart in a clear and organized manner.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy further, focus on incorporating more varied sentence structures and ensuring consistency in punctuation usage. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency to enhance the overall clarity and precision of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart illustrates the transportation choices of 11 to 16-year-old students in England for their journey to school in a specific year. Overall, the key observation from the chart is that walking is the preferred mode of travel for short distances, while buses are favored for longer distances compared to cars.

For distances less than one mile, the majority of UK adolescents, approximately 90%, opt to walk to school, with only around half choosing to use cars. However, for distances between 1-2 miles, there is a shift in preference, with about 75% of students opting to ride bicycles compared to 60% who choose to walk. The trend continues for longer distances, with nearly half of the students using bicycles for journeys of 1-2 miles, doubling the percentage of those who walk. Interestingly, none of the students choose to walk or cycle for distances over 5 miles.

When it comes to journeys over 5 miles, buses are the preferred mode of transport, with over three times as many students choosing buses over private cars, which account for 20% of the total. The chart highlights a significant difference in the percentage of students using buses and cars, with 50% and 30% respectively. However, for shorter distances, students tend to prefer using cars.

In summary, the data reveals a clear preference for walking for short distances, a shift towards bicycles for mid-range distances, and a preference for buses over cars for longer journeys.