Task 1: The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009

The plans present the detail about how a ground floor of a particularly library was reconstructed from 2001 to 2009.
Overall, there was a dramatic development on a construction of a ground floor along with many additional facilities was operated such as computers’ and children’s areas, a films & DVDs room.
To begin with, in the northern floor, in 2001, it exhibited some fiction magazines, however, in 2009, new tables and a children’s area were built in this sector. Next, various tables in the center of a library were arranged, and a newspapers room in the left was also replaced by a films & DVDs area. Behind a films & DVDs area, board manager decided to establish computers room as well.
Regarding the left of a library, while only two categories (self-help and history) were exhibited in 2001, then until 2019, a number of new types of books were presented including kitchen, law, and economics books. Notably, librarian’s desk and stairs were adjacent to entrance remaining unchanged.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The plans present the detail about" -> "The plans provide a detailed overview of"
Explanation: "Provide a detailed overview of" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence by clearly indicating the type of information being presented.
"dramatic development on a construction" -> "significant development in the construction"
Explanation: "Significant development in the construction" is more accurate and formal, correctly using "in" instead of "on" to describe the change within the construction process.
"along with many additional facilities was operated" -> "along with numerous additional facilities, which were operational"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more precise than "many," and "which were operational" clarifies that the facilities were functioning, improving the sentence’s clarity and formality.
"computers’ and children’s areas" -> "computer and children’s areas"
Explanation: Removing the possessive apostrophe in "computers’" corrects a grammatical error, as "computers" is a plural noun and does not require a possessive form.
"a films & DVDs room" -> "a film and DVDs room"
Explanation: "Film" should be singular to match the singular noun "room," and the ampersand (&) is typically replaced with "and" in formal writing for clarity and readability.
"in the northern floor" -> "on the northern floor"
Explanation: "On" is the correct preposition to use when referring to a floor in a building, replacing the incorrect "in."
"it exhibited some fiction magazines" -> "it displayed some fiction magazines"
Explanation: "Displayed" is more appropriate than "exhibited" in this context, as it accurately describes the act of showing or presenting items in a library setting.
"new tables and a children’s area were built" -> "new tables and a children’s area were constructed"
Explanation: "Constructed" is a more specific and formal verb than "built," fitting the context of building design and renovation in a library.
"a newspapers room" -> "a newspaper room"
Explanation: "Newspaper" should be singular to match the singular noun "room," as a library typically has one newspaper section.
"board manager decided" -> "the board of directors decided"
Explanation: "The board of directors" is a more precise and formal term than "board manager," which is vague and potentially incorrect in this context.
"Regarding the left of a library" -> "Regarding the left side of the library"
Explanation: "Left side" is more specific and grammatically correct than "left," which is ambiguous and imprecise.
"a number of new types of books" -> "a variety of new book types"
Explanation: "A variety of new book types" is more concise and formal, improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"librarian’s desk and stairs were adjacent to entrance remaining unchanged" -> "the librarian’s desk and stairs remained adjacent to the entrance, unchanged"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "entrance" corrects the article usage, and rephrasing to "remained adjacent to the entrance, unchanged" clarifies the meaning and improves the sentence structure for formal writing.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the changes made to the library. Instead, it recounts details mechanically, focusing on individual changes rather than presenting a broader picture. The essay also lacks data to support the description. For example, the essay states that "various tables in the center of a library were arranged," but it does not provide any specific information about the number or arrangement of the tables.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clear overview of the changes made to the library. The essay should also include more specific details about the changes, such as the number of tables, the size of the children’s area, and the types of books that were added. The essay should also avoid using vague language, such as "various tables" and "a number of new types of books." Instead, the essay should use specific and accurate language to describe the changes.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the changes made to the library, the structure is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas is not always logical. There is an inadequate use of cohesive devices, leading to some confusion in the relationships between ideas. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some sections feeling disjointed or lacking clear topic sentences.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating a clearer overall structure. This could involve using more varied and appropriate cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic, and the progression of information should follow a logical sequence. Additionally, ensuring that paragraphing is consistent and logical will help improve clarity. Finally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity in expression would also be beneficial.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the changes in the library’s layout, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., "a particularly library" should be "a particular library," and "a films & DVDs room" should be "a films and DVDs room"). Some phrases lack clarity, which may cause difficulty for the reader. Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation (e.g., "board manager" should be "the management" or "the library management"). Overall, the lexical resource does not meet the criteria for higher bands due to these limitations.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including more precise and less common lexical items. They should also focus on improving collocation and ensuring that word forms are correct. Practicing synonyms and varying sentence structures can help avoid repetition. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and grammatical accuracy will contribute to clearer communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, with some attempts at complex sentences that are not always accurate. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and article usage, which can cause some difficulty for the reader. While the overall meaning is conveyed, the errors detract from the clarity and professionalism expected at higher band scores.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex forms. It is also important to proofread for common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and proper article usage. Practicing sentence construction and seeking feedback can help in achieving greater accuracy and fluency.

Bài sửa mẫu

The plans present details about how the ground floor of a particular library was reconstructed from 2001 to 2009. Overall, there was a dramatic development in the construction of the ground floor, along with the introduction of many additional facilities, such as a computers area and a children’s section, as well as a films and DVDs room.

To begin with, in the northern section, in 2001, it exhibited some fiction magazines; however, in 2009, new tables and a children’s area were built in this sector. Next, various tables in the center of the library were arranged, and the newspapers room on the left was replaced by a films and DVDs area. Behind the films and DVDs area, the board manager decided to establish a computers room as well.

Regarding the left side of the library, while only two categories (self-help and history) were exhibited in 2001, by 2009, a number of new types of books were presented, including kitchen, law, and economics books. Notably, the librarian’s desk and stairs remained unchanged and were adjacent to the entrance.