Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of a drug company’s total sales, by region, from 2002 to 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The chart below shows the percentage of a drug company's total sales, by region, from 2002 to 2006.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

The proportion of a pharmaceutical’s total sales from 2002 to 2006 in 4 regions is presented by the bar chart.
In European and Africa, it can be clearly seen that this region had most saled-drugs in each year, with the highest rate is 48% in total in 2004. In other years, it still occupied over 40% which mean the comsumption of drugs remained stable.
In South America, the drug’s consumption of pharmaceutical was quite low. To compare with European and Africa, it was an evidence that total sale of drugs in South America was 4 times lower than European and Africa, sometimes was 8 times lower, in 5 years.
Asia is a region which have positive improvement in total drug’s sale. There was a upward trend in drug’s comsumption of phamarceutical from 12% to 28% in this peroid.
Overall, the bar chart represented the differences between drug company’s total sale in each region and we can definitely see that European and Africa always stand at the first place with highest rate, contrast to South America.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "saled-drugs" -> "sales of drugs"
   Explanation: "Saled-drugs" is not a standard term. "Sales of drugs" is the appropriate phrase to describe the quantity of drugs sold.

2. "highest rate is 48%" -> "peak proportion reaches 48%"
   Explanation: "Highest rate" is vague. "Peak proportion" clarifies that it refers to the highest percentage of sales.

3. "comsumption" -> "consumption"
   Explanation: "Comsumption" is a misspelling. "Consumption" is the correct spelling for the act of using or buying goods or services.

4. "quite low" -> "relatively low"
   Explanation: "Quite low" is somewhat informal. "Relatively low" maintains formality and precision in describing the level of drug consumption.

5. "an evidence" -> "evidence"
   Explanation: "An evidence" is grammatically incorrect. "Evidence" should be used as a singular noun without the article "an."

6. "times lower" -> "times less"
   Explanation: "Times lower" is not idiomatic. "Times less" is a more appropriate expression to indicate a comparison of quantities.

7. "upward trend" -> "upward trajectory"
   Explanation: "Upward trend" is commonly used but "upward trajectory" adds sophistication to the description of the increase in drug consumption.

8. "peroid" -> "period"
   Explanation: "Peroid" is a misspelling. "Period" is the correct spelling for a length or portion of time.

9. "represented" -> "depicted"
   Explanation: "Represented" is adequate but "depicted" adds variety and sophistication to the description of how the bar chart shows information.

10. "stand at the first place" -> "occupy the top position"
    Explanation: "Stand at the first place" is awkward. "Occupy the top position" is a more formal and precise way to describe being at the highest rank.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the information presented in the bar chart regarding the percentage of a drug company’s total sales by region from 2002 to 2006. It provides an overview of the main trends in each region, highlighting the differences in sales between European and African regions, South America, and Asia. Key features such as the highest sales in European and African regions and the upward trend in Asia are identified.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more accurate language and improve clarity in expression. Additionally, ensuring that details are relevant and avoiding grammatical errors would strengthen the response. Extension of some points could provide a more comprehensive analysis, enhancing the depth of the overview. Moreover, a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for each region would enhance readability and organization. Revising for coherence and cohesion would further strengthen the essay.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay presents information about the percentage of drug company sales in various regions over a five-year period. However, the organization lacks coherence and progression. The essay jumps between regions without a clear structure, making it difficult to follow. Additionally, there are grammatical errors and inaccuracies in expression, such as "most saled-drugs" and "positive improvement." The essay also lacks clear referencing and substitution, making it repetitive and confusing at times. Paragraphing is attempted but is not consistent or logical.
How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing the essay logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each region in detail, and a conclusion summarizing the main findings. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas and ensure accurate and clear expression throughout. Work on paragraph structure to enhance readability and coherence. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and accuracy to convey ideas more effectively.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, covering the main aspects of the task. It presents information about the sales of pharmaceuticals in different regions over a specified period. While the essay communicates the main features of the chart, there are noticeable errors in vocabulary choice, spelling, and word formation. For example, "saled-drugs" should be "sales of drugs," "comsumption" should be "consumption," "phamarceutical" should be "pharmaceutical," and "peroid" should be "period." These errors hinder the clarity and fluency of the text but do not entirely impede communication.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, focus on expanding vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and accurately. Pay attention to word choice, spelling, and word formation to ensure clarity and coherence in the essay. Proofreading for errors before submission can significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, using a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic and accurately utilizing collocations can elevate the lexical richness of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt at a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. However, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation throughout, which occasionally hinder communication. The essay lacks consistency in accuracy and structure, with several sentences containing grammatical errors that affect clarity and coherence.

How to improve: To improve the score, focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Pay attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction. Additionally, proofread the essay thoroughly to correct punctuation errors and ensure clarity of expression. Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart illustrates the percentage distribution of a pharmaceutical company’s total sales across four regions from 2002 to 2006.

In terms of sales distribution, Europe and Africa consistently dominated the market throughout the specified period, accounting for the highest proportion of sales. Notably, in 2004, this region peaked at 48%, indicating a substantial market share. Even in other years, sales remained robust, consistently exceeding 40%, suggesting stable consumption patterns.

Conversely, South America lagged significantly behind in pharmaceutical consumption. A stark comparison reveals that South America’s total drug sales were consistently four to eight times lower than those of Europe and Africa over the five-year period.

However, Asia exhibited a positive trend in pharmaceutical sales, experiencing steady growth from 12% to 28% during the period under review.

In summary, the data highlights distinct regional variations in the pharmaceutical company’s sales performance. Europe and Africa consistently maintained a leading position, while South America trailed far behind. Conversely, Asia demonstrated promising growth potential in pharmaceutical sales.