The best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what do you agree or disagree?

Some arguments show that raising the price of fossil fuel for cars and other transportation is the most effective solution to address global environmental issues. From my point of view, while this solution can eliminate the impacts to a specific degree because fuels are not only released from transport but also from industrial activities.

On the one hand, I agree that increasing the price of fuel for vehicles is one of the feasible solutions for addressing environmental problems, especially air conditions. This burden of finance would be a deterrent to the high traffic volume on roads, leading to a reduction in transport use and fuel consumption of citizens. Moreover, this rule could create a transition from traditional vehicles to electric ones which are much more environment-friendly and do not release any contaminant gas out. These alleviated actions would play a vital role in clarifying the atmosphere and gradually resolving nature-related problems.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that while higher fuel prices incentivize changes in vehicle behavior choices, regulation on production would combat the root causes of environmental threats. Firstly, It is crucial to implement stringent financial punishment for illegal industrial processes rules, which allows government control over the amount of fuel emissions released to the environment. The second measure is to invest in and encourage these companies to use renewable and ecologically sustainable energy resources, such as solar, wind, and hydropower, significantly reducing reliance on fossil fuels that can detriment the world’s natural conditions.

In conclusion, I am convinced that there should be a thorough measure to integrate raising the price of fuels for transportation and other industrial rules to tackle global issues

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Some arguments show" -> "Some arguments suggest"
Explanation: Replacing "show" with "suggest" provides a more nuanced and academically appropriate verb choice for presenting evidence or viewpoints.
"From my point of view" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "From my perspective" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing, enhancing the tone of the essay.
"eliminate the impacts to a specific degree" -> "mitigate the impacts to a certain extent"
Explanation: "Mitigate" is a more precise term than "eliminate" for describing the reduction of negative effects, and "to a certain extent" is a more formal phrase than "to a specific degree."
"fuels are not only released" -> "emissions are not solely derived"
Explanation: "Emissions are not solely derived" is a more accurate and formal way to describe the origin of pollutants, focusing on the process rather than the simplistic "release" of fuels.
"This burden of finance" -> "This financial burden"
Explanation: "This financial burden" is a more natural and formal phrasing for discussing economic impacts.
"clarifying the atmosphere" -> "purifying the atmosphere"
Explanation: "Purifying the atmosphere" is a more accurate and formal term for describing the process of making the air cleaner, whereas "clarifying" is not typically used in this context.
"do not release any contaminant gas out" -> "do not emit any contaminating gases"
Explanation: "Do not emit any contaminating gases" is a more precise and academically appropriate way to describe the absence of harmful emissions.
"regulation on production" -> "regulation of production"
Explanation: "Regulation of production" is the correct prepositional phrase for discussing control over manufacturing processes.
"It is crucial" -> "it is crucial"
Explanation: The word "It" should not be capitalized in the middle of a sentence unless it is part of a title or after a full stop.
"financial punishment for illegal industrial processes rules" -> "stringent financial penalties for non-compliance with industrial regulations"
Explanation: "Stringent financial penalties for non-compliance with industrial regulations" is a more precise and formal way to describe the consequences for violating environmental standards.
"allows government control over" -> "enables governmental oversight of"
Explanation: "Enables governmental oversight of" is a more formal and precise phrase for describing how regulations can facilitate government monitoring and control.
"use renewable and ecologically sustainable energy resources" -> "utilize renewable and ecologically sustainable energy sources"
Explanation: "Utilize" is a more formal term than "use," and "sources" is the correct term for referring to origins of energy in this context.
"can detriment the world’s natural conditions" -> "can harm the world’s natural conditions"
Explanation: "Can harm" is a more appropriate and clear term than "can detriment," which is not correctly used in this context. "Detriment" is a noun, not a verb.
"thorough measure to integrate" -> "comprehensive strategy to combine"
Explanation: "Comprehensive strategy to combine" is a more formal and precise way to describe the proposal for addressing global issues, emphasizing the depth and breadth of the approach.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both aspects of the prompt by discussing the effectiveness of increasing fuel prices for cars and other vehicles in solving environmental problems, while also acknowledging the importance of addressing industrial emissions.
- How to improve: To enhance task response, it would be beneficial to provide more explicit connections between the proposed solutions and their effectiveness in addressing the specific environmental issues outlined in the prompt. Additionally, expanding on how these solutions could be implemented in practical terms would strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, stating agreement with the idea that increasing fuel prices for vehicles is a feasible solution while also emphasizing the importance of regulating industrial emissions.
- How to improve: To further improve clarity, ensure that each paragraph reinforces the main argument and avoids any ambiguity in stance. Additionally, providing a concise thesis statement at the beginning of the essay would enhance clarity for the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas regarding the impact of increasing fuel prices on vehicle usage and the importance of regulating industrial emissions. However, some ideas could be further extended and supported with additional evidence or examples.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, consider providing specific examples or case studies to illustrate the potential effects of increased fuel prices on vehicle usage and the benefits of transitioning to renewable energy sources in the industrial sector. Additionally, expanding on the potential challenges and counterarguments to the proposed solutions would enrich the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by discussing solutions related to increasing fuel prices and regulating industrial emissions in the context of addressing environmental problems. However, there are some minor deviations, such as the brief mention of air conditions instead of broader environmental issues.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all points directly relate to the prompt and avoid introducing tangential topics or examples. Additionally, carefully review the essay to eliminate any extraneous information that does not contribute to the central argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents coherent arguments, there is room for improvement in providing more explicit connections between proposed solutions and addressing potential counterarguments. Additionally, enhancing clarity and providing more extensive support for ideas would strengthen the overall response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization by presenting two distinct viewpoints on the issue: one in favor of increasing fuel prices for cars and transportation and the other advocating for regulations on industrial processes. Each viewpoint is supported with relevant arguments and examples. The essay maintains coherence by transitioning smoothly between these two perspectives, providing a balanced discussion on the topic.
- How to improve: While the essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, it could further enhance logical organization by explicitly connecting the two perspectives and demonstrating how they complement or contrast with each other. This could be achieved by providing a stronger transitional statement or by directly addressing the interrelation between transportation and industrial emissions in the introduction or conclusion.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured into three paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the argument: the introduction presents the thesis statement and introduces the two viewpoints, the second paragraph elaborates on the benefits of increasing fuel prices for transportation, and the third paragraph discusses the importance of regulating industrial processes. Each paragraph contains cohesive topic sentences and relevant supporting details.
- How to improve: While the essay adheres to the basic structure of paragraphing, it could benefit from further development of each paragraph to provide more depth and clarity of argument. Specifically, the second and third paragraphs could be expanded to include additional examples or counterarguments to strengthen the overall argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and ensure coherence throughout the text. Transition words and phrases such as "on the one hand," "on the other hand," "firstly," and "secondly" are used effectively to indicate shifts between different viewpoints and arguments. Additionally, the essay maintains cohesion through the repetition of key terms and concepts, such as "environmental problems," "fuel consumption," and "renewable energy resources."
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates competency in using cohesive devices, there is room for improvement in diversifying the range of connectives used. Introducing a wider variety of transitional phrases and conjunctions can further enhance the coherence of the essay and provide a smoother flow between ideas. Additionally, integrating cohesive devices more seamlessly within sentences can strengthen the overall cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable breadth of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "feasible," "incentivize," "stringent," "deterrent," and "alleviated," among others. These choices contribute to the overall clarity and sophistication of the language used.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a solid range of vocabulary, further diversification could enhance its lexical resource score. Introducing more specialized terminology related to environmental science and policy could elevate the depth of analysis and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. For instance, incorporating terms like "carbon offset," "emission trading," or "sustainability initiatives" would enrich the discussion and underscore the candidate’s mastery of relevant concepts.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas and arguments. For example, phrases like "financial punishment for illegal industrial processes" and "ecologically sustainable energy resources" demonstrate an accurate use of terminology to articulate specific concepts.
- How to improve: While precision is generally maintained throughout the essay, there are instances where vocabulary could be more nuanced to enhance clarity and specificity. For instance, instead of using the somewhat generic term "environmental problems," the candidate could specify the types of issues being addressed, such as "air pollution," "deforestation," or "biodiversity loss." This level of granularity would provide a clearer delineation of the complexities within the broader environmental context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with minimal errors detracting from overall readability. Noteworthy is the consistent use of correct spelling throughout the essay, contributing to its professional presentation.
- How to improve: To maintain this standard of spelling accuracy, continued attention to detail during the writing process is essential. Proofreading techniques such as reading the essay aloud, utilizing spelling and grammar checkers, and seeking feedback from peers or instructors can help identify and rectify any overlooked errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words and practicing spelling in context can further solidify accuracy skills.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and conditional structures. For example, the writer effectively utilizes complex sentences like "While this solution can eliminate the impacts to a specific degree because fuels are not only released from transport but also from industrial activities," showcasing the ability to convey complex ideas. Additionally, the essay incorporates conditional structures ("if…then" statements) such as "if higher fuel prices incentivize changes in vehicle behavior choices, regulation on production would combat the root causes of environmental threats," which contribute to the essay’s coherence and argumentative strength.
- How to improve: While the essay displays a strong command of various sentence structures, further enhancing the use of advanced structures like inversion or participial phrases could elevate the complexity and sophistication of the writing. Introducing inversion, for instance, in sentences such as "Not only are fuels released from transport, but they also stem from industrial activities" can add flair and variety to the prose.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy with minimal errors. Phrases such as "It is crucial to implement stringent financial punishment for illegal industrial processes rules" and "These alleviated actions would play a vital role in clarifying the atmosphere and gradually resolving nature-related problems" demonstrate a solid grasp of grammatical structures. Punctuation usage is generally correct, aiding clarity and comprehension.
- How to improve: While the essay’s grammatical accuracy is commendable, attention to minor issues such as article usage ("the high traffic volume on roads," "the burden of finance") and parallelism in lists ("solar, wind, and hydropower") can further refine the writing. Additionally, ensuring consistent use of verb tense throughout the essay can enhance overall coherence and readability. For instance, maintaining consistency in tense usage in phrases like "This burden of finance would be a deterrent to the high traffic volume on roads, leading to a reduction in transport use" can strengthen the essay’s structure.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures and showcases proficient use of diverse sentence constructions. By refining minor grammatical nuances and incorporating more advanced sentence structures, the writer can further enhance the sophistication and effectiveness of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some arguments suggest that increasing the cost of fossil fuel for cars and other transportation is a viable solution to address global environmental issues. From my perspective, while this measure can mitigate the impacts to a certain extent, it’s important to recognize that emissions are not solely derived from transportation but also from industrial activities.

On the one hand, I agree that raising the price of fuel for vehicles can be an effective solution for addressing environmental problems, particularly concerning air quality. This financial burden could discourage high traffic volumes, leading to a reduction in both transport use and fuel consumption among citizens. Furthermore, this regulation could facilitate a shift from traditional vehicles to electric ones, which do not emit any contaminating gases. These actions would contribute significantly to purifying the atmosphere and gradually resolving environmental issues.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that alongside higher fuel prices, regulation of production is essential to combat the root causes of environmental threats. Firstly, it is crucial to impose stringent financial penalties for non-compliance with industrial regulations, enabling governmental oversight of fuel emissions released into the environment. Secondly, it is vital to encourage companies to utilize renewable and ecologically sustainable energy sources, such as solar, wind, and hydropower. This comprehensive strategy would significantly reduce reliance on fossil fuels, which can harm the world’s natural conditions.

In conclusion, I advocate for a comprehensive strategy that combines raising the price of fuel for transportation with stringent industrial regulations to effectively tackle global environmental issues.