The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given chart represents the annual number of rentals and sales of films from a particular shop from 2002 to 2011.

Overall, after the disappearance of VHS sales, Blu-ray sales appeared. Rentals decreased steadily in many following years.

To begin with DVD sales, in 2002, DVD sales had the lowest number of rentals, under 50,000. In 2003, the sales were higher than the year before about 50,000. from 2004 to 2007, DVD sales had sharply increased, increased about 27,000 per years. The time between 2007 and 2011, DVD sales had decreased steady, roundly 10,000 for each years. Blu-ray sales in 2007 had the lowest number of rentals in total, under 5000. In following years, the rentals of Blu-ray sales boost sharply, about 1000 rentals per years.

To continue with Rentals, In 2002, rentals had the highest number, overcome 180,000. The rentals in 2003 had the same annual number in 2002. From the years 2004 to 2011, annual number had lightly decreased, about 10,000 each years. VHS sales in 2002 took the first rank about the highest number of annuals, nearly 100,000. Similar with Rentals, VHS sales had the similar tend with the Rentals, it tend to decrease from 2003 to 2005, reduced about 20,000 per years.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "had the lowest number of rentals" -> "had the lowest sales figures"
   Explanation: Using "sales figures" instead of "number of rentals" is more appropriate when referring to sales data in a shop.

2. "increased about 27,000 per years" -> "increased by approximately 27,000 annually"
   Explanation: "Per years" is not grammatically correct; using "annually" provides a more precise and formal expression of the frequency of increase.

3. "had decreased steady" -> "had steadily decreased"
   Explanation: "Steady" should be placed before the verb "decreased" to correctly describe the manner in which the decrease occurred.

4. "roundly 10,000 for each years" -> "approximately 10,000 each year"
   Explanation: "Roundly" is not the most suitable term to describe a specific numerical value; "approximately" is more precise. Additionally, "each years" should be corrected to "each year" for proper grammar.

5. "boost sharply" -> "increased significantly"
   Explanation: "Boost sharply" is a colloquial expression; "increased significantly" is a more formal and appropriate term to describe a sharp rise in numbers.

6. "annual number had lightly decreased" -> "annual figures had slightly decreased"
   Explanation: "Lightly" is not the most accurate term to describe a decrease; "slightly" is more appropriate. Additionally, using "figures" instead of "number" enhances the formality of the description.

7. "took the first rank about the highest number of annuals" -> "ranked first in terms of the highest annual sales"
   Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear; the suggested alternative provides a clearer and more formal description of the ranking of VHS sales.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 0

Band Score: .0

**: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the information provided in the chart regarding the annual of rentals and sales of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. The essay provides an overview of the main trends in DVD, Blu-ray, Rentals, and VHS sales over the years. Key features and bullet points are highlighted, such as the decrease in rentals and the introduction of Blu-ray sales after VHS sales disappeared. However, there are inaccuracies in the details provided, such as the specific numbers mentioned for each year, and the information could be more fully extended to provide a clearer and more detailed analysisHow to improve**: To improve the essay, focus on providing accurate and details without unnecessary specifics. Ensure that the overview is clear and concise, highlighting key trends and comparisons effectively. Additionally, avoid repetitive information and make sure to fully develop the response to meet the requirements of the task.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay information about the annual of rentals and sales of from a particular store between 200 and 2011. However, organization of ideas is not coherent, and there no clear progression in the response. The transitions between different years and types of sales are not smooth, making it difficult for the reader to follow the information. The use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes inaccurate, leading to a lack of clarity in the relationships between ideas. Additionally, the paragraphing is confusing, with abrupt shifts between different aspects of the data.
How to improve**: To improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay, focus on organizing the information in a logical manner. Use clear transitions between different years and types of sales to guide the reader through the data. Ensure that cohesive devices are used accurately to show the relationships between ideas. Also, work on structuring paragraphs logically, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the data to enhance clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

**Explanation The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary, with some errors in word choice and word formation. The essay lacks sophistication in lexical features and relies on basic vocabulary throughout. There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader.

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using more varied and precise language. They should aim to use less repetitive vocabulary and avoid basic terms. Additionally, paying attention to spelling and word formation errors will help enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation**: The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors throughout the essay that impact the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and word choice. Punctuation errors are also present, such as missing commas and incorrect use of apostrophes.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy of the essay, focus on sentence structure variety and accuracy. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and word choice. Additionally, work on using punctuation correctly to enhance the clarity of the writing. Proofreading and editing for grammar and punctuation errors can help improve the overall quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided chart illustrates the annual number of film rentals and sales from a specific store between 2002 and 2011.

In general, the data shows a shift from VHS sales to the emergence of Blu-ray sales, with a gradual decline in rentals over the years.

Beginning with DVD sales, in 2002, the number of rentals was the lowest at just under 50,000. This figure increased in 2003 to around 100,000. Subsequently, from 2004 to 2007, DVD sales experienced a significant rise, increasing by approximately 27,000 annually. However, from 2007 to 2011, there was a steady decline in DVD sales, decreasing by around 10,000 each year. Blu-ray sales, on the other hand, started with the lowest number of rentals in 2007, at under 5,000, but saw a sharp increase in the following years, with an average of 1,000 rentals per year.

Moving on to rentals, in 2002, rentals peaked at over 180,000. This number remained consistent in 2003 before experiencing a slight decrease from 2004 to 2011, dropping by approximately 10,000 each year. VHS sales, which led in annual numbers in 2002 with nearly 100,000, followed a similar trend to rentals, declining by around 20,000 annually from 2003 to 2005.

Overall, the data highlights the transition from VHS to Blu-ray sales, along with a gradual decline in rentals over the specified years.