The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The given chart analyses the data about household in the US by their annual income in different years: 2007, 2011 and 2015.
Overall, The number of household from $25,000-$49,999 had the same data in three years. In different years households less than $25,000 toke the high number and the number of $75,000 – $99,999 had the same data per years.
To begin with the data in 2007, the highest number was belonged to the income about $100,000 or more, at 30 millions. The second highest number was $25,000 – $49,999, over 25 Millions. The income less than $25,000 had nearly number with the second rank, at 25 millions. The income $50,000 – $74,999 was lower than income $25,000 – $49,999 about 5 millions. $100,000 or more had the lowest number in total, under 15 millions.
In 2011, The income $25,000 – $49,999 and less than $25,000 had the similar number, about 30 millions. The income $50,000 – $74,999 was the same number in different years, under 15 millions.
The income $100,000 or more was double with the income $25,000 – $49,999.
In 2015, The income $100,000 or more was the highest number in the chars, nearly 35 millions. The income less than $25,000 to $49,999 had the similar number, about 28 millions.
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Errors and Improvements:
- "household" -> "households"
Explanation: "Household" is a noun referring to a single household, while "households" is the correct plural form, needed to refer to multiple households. - "toke" -> "took"
Explanation: "Took" is the past tense of "take," which is the correct form needed in this context. - "belonged" -> "belonging"
Explanation: "Belonged" is a past tense verb, but in this context, a gerund form "belonging" is more suitable to indicate the state of the highest number rather than a past action. - "per years" -> "per year"
Explanation: "Per year" is the correct phrase to indicate frequency over each year. - "millions" -> "million"
Explanation: When referring to an exact number, "million" should be singular, not plural. - "lower than income" -> "lower than that of households with"
Explanation: To enhance clarity, it’s better to specify what is lower than what. Using "that of households with" clarifies the comparison. - "under 15 millions" -> "under 15 million"
Explanation: Similar to point 5, "million" should be singular when referring to an exact number. - "double with" -> "double that of"
Explanation: "Double that of" is a more precise way to compare two values, indicating that one value is twice the other. - "in the chars" -> "in the charts"
Explanation: "Charts" is the correct spelling of the visual representations of data mentioned here. - "nearly 35 millions" -> "nearly 35 million"
Explanation: Similar to previous instances, "million" should be singular when referring to an exact number. - "to $49,999" -> "to $49,999."
Explanation: Adding a period at the end of the sentence for proper punctuation.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation:
The essay generally addresses the task, presenting an overview of the data from the chart the number of households in the US by their annual income for the years 2007, 2011, and 2015. However, the format and presentation of the data are somewhat inappropriate and confusing in places, leading to a score of 5. The writer attempts to summarize the information and make comparisons, but the presentation lacks clarity, and there is a mechanical recounting of details without a clear overview. The essay mentions the main categories of household income and attempts to report changes over the given years, but it does so in a way that is difficult to follow, with several inaccuracies and irrelevant details. For instance, the statement "The number of household from $25,000-$49,999 had the same data in three years" is vague and lacks specificity. Additionally, there are contradictions and inaccuracies in the data presentation, such as stating "$100,000 or more had the lowest number in total, under 15 millions" for 2007, which contradicts the earlier statement that it was the highest at 30 million.
How to improve:
To improve, the writer should focus on providing a clear and accurate overview of the main trends shown in the chart. This includes:
- Correctly identifying and reporting the highest and lowest income categories for each year, ensuring that the data reported matches the information provided in the chart.
- Making direct and clear comparisons between the different income categories and across the years to highlight significant trends or changes.
- Organizing the essay in a logical manner that guides the reader through the information smoothly, starting with a clear introduction of what the chart shows, followed by a detailed paragraph for each year or theme, and concluding with a summary of the most notable trends.
- Avoiding contradictions and ensuring accuracy in the presentation of data to build trust with the reader.
- Enhancing the format by avoiding mechanical listing of data and instead integrating it into a cohesive narrative that clearly demonstrates understanding of the chart’s key features and trends.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 3
Band Score: 3.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates poor coherence and cohesion. Ideas are presented in a disorganized manner, lacking logical progression. There is minimal use of cohesive devices, and those used do not clearly indicate relationships between ideas. The essay lacks clear paragraphing structure, and the central topic within each paragraph is unclear.
How to improve:
- Organize ideas logically: Start with an introduction that previews the main features and comparisons. Then, organize body paragraphs around the different income categories across the years.
- Use cohesive devices effectively: Include transition words and phrases (e.g., "Overall," "To begin with," "In 2011," "In 2015,") to guide the reader through the essay.
- Implement clear paragraphing: Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and logically progresses from one idea to the next.
This feedback should help improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, often relying on repetitive language and basic word choices. While there is an attempt to use some variation, it remains minimal and does not fully convey the intended meaning. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation throughout the essay, which hinder clarity and precision in expression. Additionally, there are several instances of spelling and word formation errors, further impacting the overall lexical quality.
How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource, the writer should aim to diversify their vocabulary by incorporating a broader range of words and expressions relevant to the topic. They should also pay attention to word choice and collocation to ensure accuracy and fluency in conveying ideas. Additionally, thorough proofreading to address spelling and word formation errors is essential to enhance readability and coherence.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a variety of sentence structures, including simple and some complex sentences. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as subject-verb agreement errors ("household from $25,000-$49,999 had the same data"), missing articles ("toke the high number"), and inconsistent verb tense usage ("The highest number was belonged"). Punctuation is also faulty, with missing commas and inconsistent use of capitalization ("$25,000 – $49,999" vs. "$25,000 – $49,999"). These errors occasionally hinder communication and comprehension, but the overall message is still discernible.
How to improve: Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by paying attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb tense consistency. Also, ensure consistent punctuation use throughout the essay. Reviewing and editing for these errors before submission can significantly enhance the clarity and coherence of the writing. Additionally, expanding the range of sentence structures used and ensuring their accuracy would further improve the essay’s overall quality.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided chart presents an analysis of household incomes in the US across three distinct years: 2007, 2011, and 2015.
Overall, it is notable that the number of households earning between $25,000 and $49,999 remained consistent across all three years. Additionally, there were similarities in the number of households earning $75,000 to $99,999 across the same timeframe.
Beginning with the data from 2007, the highest number of households was observed in the income bracket of $100,000 or more, totaling approximately 30 million. Following closely behind was the bracket of $25,000 to $49,999, with over 25 million households. The income bracket below $25,000 nearly matched the second-ranking bracket, with approximately 25 million households. Conversely, the bracket of $50,000 to $74,999 had a lower count compared to $25,000 to $49,999, with around 5 million households. The lowest count was in the $100,000 or more bracket, totaling under 15 million households.
Moving to the year 2011, both the income brackets of $25,000 to $49,999 and below $25,000 had similar counts, around 30 million households. The bracket of $50,000 to $74,999 remained consistent across the years, with under 15 million households. Notably, the number of households earning $100,000 or more doubled compared to those earning $25,000 to $49,999.
In 2015, the highest number of households, nearly 35 million, fell into the income bracket of $100,000 or more. Meanwhile, the income brackets ranging from less than $25,000 to $49,999 had similar counts, approximately 28 million households.
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