The chart below shows the number of visitors of different nationalities to three cities in Vietnam during the year 2023. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend around 20 minutes on this task and write at least 150 words

The chart below shows the number of visitors of different nationalities to three
cities in Vietnam during the year 2023.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and make
comparisons where relevant.
You should spend around 20 minutes on this task and write at least 150 words

The bar chart illustrates how many foreign visitors traveled to three cities in Vietnam in 2023.

Overall, all three cities attracted the largest number of Russian tourists, whereas the opposite was true in the case of Spanish visitors. In addition, Ha Noi was the place with the most international tourists.

Looking at the chart in more details, in 2023, Hanoi city welcomed 160,000 Russian tourists, which was 30,000 more than the figure for Ho Chi Minh city and was nearly four times as many as that of Da Nang city. Russian was always the leading of foreign visitors to three different city namely hcm city, HANOI, D NNG.

Concerning the remaining nationalities, German ranked second with 120,000 visitors in Hanoi, which was more than 40,000 visitors that of Ho Chi Minh city. The number of international tourists visiting Da Nang city was over 20,000 tourists, which was one-twelfth that of Hanoi. Finally, The figure for Spanish was the smallest in Hanoi, Da Nang city and Ho Chi Minh city, with 20,000,19,000 and 15,000 respectively.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The bar chart illustrates" -> "The bar chart depicts"
   Explanation: "Depicts" is a more precise and formal term than "illustrates" in the context of presenting data, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

2. "foreign visitors traveled" -> "foreign visitors traveled to"
   Explanation: Adding "to" after "traveled" clarifies the destination, which is essential for the sentence’s meaning and clarity.

3. "the largest number of Russian tourists" -> "the highest number of Russian tourists"
   Explanation: "Highest" is more specific and academically appropriate than "largest" when referring to numerical values, particularly in the context of comparisons.

4. "the opposite was true in the case of Spanish visitors" -> "the converse was true for Spanish visitors"
   Explanation: "Converse" is a more formal synonym for "opposite," and "for" is more appropriate than "in the case of" in this context.

5. "Looking at the chart in more details" -> "Examining the chart in greater detail"
   Explanation: "Examining" is more formal than "looking at," and "greater detail" is a more precise phrase than "more details."

6. "welcomed" -> "received"
   Explanation: "Received" is more commonly used in academic writing to describe the act of accepting or getting visitors, making it more suitable for formal texts.

7. "which was 30,000 more than the figure for Ho Chi Minh city" -> "which exceeded the figure for Ho Chi Minh city by 30,000"
   Explanation: "Exceeded" is more precise and formal than "was more than," and adding "by" clarifies the nature of the comparison.

8. "Russian was always the leading of foreign visitors" -> "Russia was consistently the leading source of foreign visitors"
   Explanation: "Russia" should be used instead of "Russian" to refer to the country, and "consistently" is more precise than "always" in describing a trend over time.

9. "namely hcm city, HANOI, D NNG" -> "namely Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh City, and Da Nang"
   Explanation: Corrects the city names to their proper forms (Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh City, and Da Nang) and uses "and" for proper conjunction.

10. "Concerning the remaining nationalities" -> "Regarding the remaining nationalities"
    Explanation: "Regarding" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "concerning."

11. "more than 40,000 visitors that of Ho Chi Minh city" -> "more than 40,000 visitors than those in Ho Chi Minh City"
    Explanation: "Than those in" corrects the grammatical structure and clarifies the comparison.

12. "over 20,000 tourists" -> "over 20,000 tourists"
    Explanation: No change needed as the phrase is correct and clear.

13. "one-twelfth that of Hanoi" -> "one-twelfth that in Hanoi"
    Explanation: "That in" is grammatically correct for referring to the number of tourists in Hanoi.

14. "The figure for Spanish was the smallest" -> "The number of Spanish visitors was the lowest"
    Explanation: "Number of visitors" is more specific and "lowest" is more precise than "smallest" in this context, referring to the quantity of visitors.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main features of the chart. It presents information appropriately selected, such as the fact that Hanoi had the most visitors overall and that Russian tourists were the most numerous in all three cities. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and bullet points. For example, it mentions that Hanoi had 160,000 Russian tourists, which was 30,000 more than Ho Chi Minh City, but it does not provide a percentage comparison or further analysis of this difference. Additionally, the essay includes some irrelevant details, such as the statement that "Russian was always the leading of foreign visitors to three different city namely hcm city, HANOI, D NNG." This statement is not relevant to the task and does not contribute to the overall understanding of the data.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis of the key features and bullet points. For example, the essay could compare the number of Russian tourists in each city as a percentage of the total number of tourists in that city. The essay could also provide more specific comparisons between the different nationalities, such as comparing the number of German tourists in Hanoi to the number of German tourists in Ho Chi Minh City. Finally, the essay could be improved by removing irrelevant details and focusing on the most important information.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a generally coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the details about each city. However, while the main ideas are logically organized, there are instances where the cohesion between sentences could be improved. For example, the transition between discussing Russian tourists and the other nationalities could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is evident, but there are moments of awkward phrasing and some mechanical use of these devices, which detracts from the overall fluidity of the essay. Additionally, while paragraphing is present, it could be better structured to enhance clarity.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on improving the flow of ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices more effectively. Ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that transitions between ideas are smooth will enhance coherence. Additionally, refining the use of referencing and substitution to avoid repetition and awkward phrasing will contribute to a more polished essay. Lastly, organizing the information into well-defined paragraphs with logical progression will strengthen the overall coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with some attempts to use less common vocabulary. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "Russian was always the leading of foreign visitors" and "the opposite was true in the case of Spanish visitors." Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation, such as "hcm city" and "D NNG," which detract from the overall clarity of the essay. While the communication is generally effective, these errors indicate that the lexical resource is not fully controlled.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision and accuracy. This includes avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring correct spelling and word formation. Additionally, incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions can help convey meaning more fluently and flexibly. Finally, careful proofreading can help catch and correct minor errors before submission.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there are some attempts at complex structures, the overall grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors, such as "Russian was always the leading of foreign visitors" and "which was 30,000 more than the figure for Ho Chi Minh city," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Punctuation errors are also present, such as the inconsistent capitalization of city names and the incorrect use of commas. However, the meaning is generally clear, and the errors do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, focus on improving grammatical accuracy by proofreading for common errors, particularly in sentence structure and punctuation. Expanding the range of complex sentences while ensuring they are used correctly will also help. Additionally, practicing the use of varied sentence structures and ensuring that all sentences are error-free will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart illustrates the number of foreign visitors from different nationalities who traveled to three cities in Vietnam in 2023.

Overall, all three cities attracted the largest number of Russian tourists, while the opposite was true for Spanish visitors. Additionally, Hanoi was the city with the highest number of international tourists.

Looking at the chart in more detail, in 2023, Hanoi welcomed 160,000 Russian tourists, which was 30,000 more than the figure for Ho Chi Minh City and nearly four times as many as that of Da Nang. Russian tourists consistently represented the largest group of foreign visitors to the three cities: Ho Chi Minh City, Hanoi, and Da Nang.

Regarding the remaining nationalities, German tourists ranked second, with 120,000 visitors in Hanoi, which was over 40,000 more than the number for Ho Chi Minh City. The number of international tourists visiting Da Nang was just over 20,000, which was one-twelfth of the figure for Hanoi. Finally, the number of Spanish tourists was the smallest in all three cities, with 20,000 in Hanoi, 19,000 in Da Nang, and 15,000 in Ho Chi Minh City.