The chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

The given chart illustrates 6 steps in the recycling of waste paper. Overall, this process involves six steps, starting with the collection of waste paper and ending with the production of recycled paper resources. First, waste paper is collected at two resources is public paper banks and businesses. The process continues with the paper being graded by workers, and unsuitable paper have been removed. After going two stages, the paper is carried to paper mill for the next stages. After being cleaned and pulped.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The given chart illustrates 6 steps" -> "The diagram depicts six stages"
Explanation: "Diagram" is a more precise term than "chart" for academic writing, and "six stages" is more formal than "6 steps."
"waste paper" -> "recyclable paper"
Explanation: Using "recyclable paper" instead of "waste paper" avoids the negative connotation associated with the word "waste" and is more specific in the context of recycling.
"collected at two resources is public paper banks and businesses" -> "collected from two sources: public paper banks and businesses"
Explanation: "From" is the correct preposition for indicating origin, and "sources" is more formal than "resources" in this context. Also, the colon (:) is used to introduce the list correctly.
"unsuitable paper have been removed" -> "unsuitable paper are removed"
Explanation: "Are" is the correct subject-verb agreement for the plural noun "paper," and "have been removed" is unnecessary as the process is ongoing.
"After going two stages" -> "After two stages"
Explanation: "Going" is incorrectly used here; "two stages" is sufficient without the verb "going."
"carried to paper mill for the next stages" -> "transported to the paper mill for the subsequent stages"
Explanation: "Transported" is a more precise verb than "carried" in this context, and "subsequent" is more formal than "next."
"After being cleaned and pulped" -> "After cleaning and pulping"
Explanation: "Cleaning and pulping" is grammatically correct and more concise, improving the formal tone of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by listing the steps in the recycling process. However, it does not cover all key features/bullet points. For example, the essay does not mention the transportation of the paper to the paper mill. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "the paper is carried to paper mill for the next stages," but it does not explain what these stages are.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more comprehensive overview of the recycling process. The essay should also focus on highlighting the key features of the process, rather than simply listing the steps. For example, the essay could mention that the paper is sorted by hand to remove unsuitable paper, or that the paper is cleaned and pulped to remove inks and glues. The essay could also make comparisons between the different stages of the process. For example, the essay could compare the collection of waste paper from public paper banks and businesses.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, as it outlines the steps involved in the recycling process. However, there is a lack of overall progression, and the sequence of ideas is not always clear. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate, leading to some confusion in the flow of information. For example, phrases like "after going two stages" and "after being cleaned and pulped" are unclear and disrupt coherence. Additionally, the paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the essay does not clearly delineate between different stages of the process.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing the information by clearly sequencing the steps in the recycling process. Using more varied and appropriate cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases (e.g., "subsequently," "following this," "finally"), would improve the flow of ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that transitions between stages are smooth will help in achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the recycling process, the vocabulary used is basic and lacks variety. There are noticeable errors in word choice and grammatical structure, such as "resources is public paper banks" instead of "resources: public paper banks" and "unsuitable paper have been removed" instead of "unsuitable paper is removed." These errors cause some difficulty for the reader, impacting overall clarity. Additionally, the essay does not effectively convey the process due to incomplete sentences and awkward phrasing, such as "After going two stages."
How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to expand their vocabulary by incorporating more varied and precise terms related to recycling and waste management. Utilizing synonyms and less common lexical items can improve the sophistication of the writing. Furthermore, ensuring grammatical accuracy and sentence completeness will enhance clarity. Practicing the use of collocations and idiomatic expressions relevant to the topic can also contribute to a more natural and fluent writing style.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentence forms. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often inaccurate or incomplete, which affects clarity. Frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ("unsuitable paper have been removed") and sentence fragments ("After being cleaned and pulped"), hinder effective communication. Overall, the errors can cause some difficulty for the reader, which aligns with the characteristics of Band 5.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex sentences. Additionally, careful proofreading to correct grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement will improve clarity. Practicing the construction of complete sentences and varying sentence lengths can also help achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given chart illustrates six steps in the recycling of waste paper. Overall, this process involves six stages, starting with the collection of waste paper and ending with the production of recycled paper products. First, waste paper is collected from two sources: public paper banks and businesses. The process continues with the paper being graded by workers, and unsuitable paper being removed. After these two stages, the paper is transported to a paper mill for the next steps. After being cleaned and pulped, the paper is ready for further processing.