The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

The given pie charts demonstrate and anticipate the age distribution of Italy and Yemen population in 2000 and 2050.

Overall, it is evident that both nations will witness the population aging since some old brackets are predicted to make up for the higher proportions. Noticeably, this aging trend will occur at a more profound level in Italy.

In terms of 2000, it is noteworthy that the youngest age group ranked first in Yemen's population (at 50.1%), while the opposite was true for the Italy one, at just 14.3%. Furthermore, Italy’s and Yemen's population shared a similarity that people falling into 15 to 59 years old took up dramatically high percentages, at 61.6% and 46.3%, respectively. Additionally, 24.1% of Italians were 60 years old and above, roughly 8 times as much as their Yemen counterparts, at 3.6%.

Regarding 2050, there will be a relative disparity among the figures for the oldest age group. Specifically, this age group will account for 42.3% of Italy’s population, as opposed to only 5.7% of the Yemen one. Noticeably, 14-to-59-year old people will rank first in both nations’ population, making up around 50%. Furthermore, the figure for the youngest age bracket in Italy’s population is anticipated to decline to 11.5%, roughly one thirds as much as that of the Yemen one.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"demonstrate and anticipate" -> "illustrate and project"
Explanation: "Demonstrate" and "anticipate" are adequate, but "illustrate" and "project" convey a more formal and precise tone, fitting for an analytical essay on demographic data.
"some old brackets" -> "older age brackets"
Explanation: "Old brackets" is ambiguous and lacks specificity. "Older age brackets" clarifies the reference to specific age groups.
"it is evident that" -> "it is apparent that"
Explanation: "Evident" and "apparent" are synonyms, but "apparent" adds a touch of formality and refinement to the statement.
"at a more profound level" -> "to a greater extent"
Explanation: "More profound level" is slightly awkward. "To a greater extent" maintains clarity while sounding more polished.
"noteworthy" -> "remarkable"
Explanation: While "noteworthy" is suitable, "remarkable" adds emphasis and sophistication to the observation.
"ranked first" -> "were predominant"
Explanation: "Ranked first" is somewhat colloquial. "Were predominant" is more formal and precise for describing the highest proportion.
"fell into" -> "belonged to"
Explanation: "Fell into" is informal. "Belonged to" is more suitable for describing age groups within a population.
"took up dramatically high percentages" -> "constituted significant proportions"
Explanation: "Took up dramatically high percentages" is verbose. "Constituted significant proportions" maintains conciseness and formality.
"roughly 8 times as much as" -> "approximately eightfold higher than"
Explanation: "Roughly 8 times as much as" can be expressed more precisely as "approximately eightfold higher than" for a more formal tone.
"Regarding" -> "With regard to"
Explanation: "Regarding" is slightly informal. "With regard to" adds formality and clarity to the transition between topics.
"relative disparity" -> "discrepancy"
Explanation: "Relative disparity" is redundant. "Discrepancy" succinctly conveys the difference between the figures.
"as opposed to only" -> "in contrast to"
Explanation: "As opposed to only" is less formal. "In contrast to" enhances formality and clarity in expressing the difference between percentages.
"one thirds as much as" -> "one-third of"
Explanation: "One thirds as much as" is grammatically incorrect. "One-third of" is the correct expression for indicating a fraction of something.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay effectively covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the age distributions for Italy and Yemen in 2000 and projections for 2050. It presents key features such as the dominance of younger age groups in Yemen in 2000, the aging trend in both countries, and the significant increase in the proportion of older people in Italy by 2050. The information is appropriately selected and presented in a structured manner.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could extend its analysis by providing more detailed comparisons between the two countries, such as discussing potential reasons for the differences in age distributions and the potential implications of these demographic changes.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, meeting the criteria for Band 7. The information is logically organized with clear progression throughout the essay. The introduction sets up the essay by mentioning the age distributions of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and 2050. Each paragraph then discusses specific age groups and their proportions in a structured manner, providing a clear central topic within each paragraph.

The essay also uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, although there are minor instances of overuse or underuse. For instance, phrases like "Overall," "In terms of," "Furthermore," and "Regarding" help to connect ideas and maintain coherence. There’s a clear transition between discussing the 2000 data and projecting to 2050 data, enhancing the essay’s overall cohesion.

Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, aiding in the organization and flow of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion further and potentially reach a higher band score, the essay could benefit from slightly more varied and precise cohesive devices. Additionally, ensuring consistent use of paragraphing and maintaining a balance between descriptive and analytical elements can enhance the overall structure and coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. It effectively utilizes less common lexical items and demonstrates awareness of style and collocation. The writer employs varied vocabulary to describe age groups and population trends, enhancing the overall lexical resource. Occasional errors in word choice and collocation are present but do not significantly hinder understanding.

How to improve: To improve the score, aim for more consistent accuracy in word choice and collocation. Additionally, strive for more sophisticated and nuanced vocabulary where possible to elevate the lexical resource further. Reviewing and refining word usage in context can help enhance precision and fluency in expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation with a variety of complex structures. It effectively communicates the information provided in the prompt and maintains coherence throughout. Complex sentences are utilized to compare and contrast the age distributions of Italy and Yemen in 2000 and 2050. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms to convey the information clearly. There are frequent error-free sentences, and the essay generally maintains good control over grammar and punctuation. However, there are some minor errors and awkward phrasings that slightly affect the overall fluency and precision of expression.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy further, focus on refining sentence structures to ensure clarity and precision. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and word choice to reduce minor errors and awkward phrasings. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors can help improve the overall coherence and readability of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided pie charts illustrate and project the age distribution of the populations of Italy and Yemen in the years 2000 and 2050.

In general, it is apparent that both countries are expected to experience an aging population, with older age groups constituting larger proportions. Notably, this aging trend is more pronounced in Italy.

Looking at the data for 2000, it is notable that Yemen had a significantly higher percentage of its population in the youngest age group, standing at 50.1%, while Italy had only 14.3%. Both countries shared a similarity in the middle age groups, with individuals aged 15 to 59 making up substantial proportions, at 61.6% for Italy and 46.3% for Yemen. Moreover, Italians aged 60 and above constituted 24.1% of the population, approximately eight times higher than their Yemeni counterparts at 3.6%.

Moving to the projections for 2050, there is a noticeable disparity in the percentages of the oldest age group. Italy is anticipated to have 42.3% of its population in this age bracket, whereas Yemen is projected to have only 5.7%. Interestingly, individuals aged 14 to 59 will still constitute the majority in both nations, comprising around 50% of the population. Additionally, the proportion of the youngest age group in Italy is expected to decrease to 11.5%, roughly one-third of that in Yemen.