The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from eggs to adult fish.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from eggs to adult fish.

the diagram describes the main stages of the development of a salmon
Overall, there are a total of eight stages that the salmon must go through to reach maturity, beginning with laying eggs in the river and ending with the full development of fish
In the first stage of the process, The female fish find safe places to lay eggs in the river. This process produces eggs, which are hidden in safe places to grow. Subsequently, these eggs hatch and attach to aquatic plants before developing their gills and tails.
In the next stage of the cycle, the fish migrate into the open sea, During this stage, the fish has become bigger in their size, about 70 to 75 centimeters. In the final stage, the young fish grow into mature ones and swim back to their birthplace to lay eggs, initiating the salmon's life cycle again through the same process.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "the diagram describes" -> "the diagram illustrates"
   Explanation: "Illustrates" is more precise and academically appropriate than "describes" when referring to the depiction of a process or stages in a diagram.

2. "the main stages of the development of a salmon" -> "the primary stages of salmon development"
   Explanation: Simplifying "the main stages of the development of a salmon" to "the primary stages of salmon development" maintains clarity and conciseness while adhering to formal academic style.

3. "must go through" -> "undergo"
   Explanation: "Undergo" is a more formal and precise term that fits better in academic writing than "must go through," which sounds slightly informal.

4. "beginning with laying eggs in the river and ending with the full development of fish" -> "initiating with egg-laying in the river and concluding with the full development of the fish"
   Explanation: "Initiating with" and "concluding with" provide a more formal and structured description of the beginning and end of the process, enhancing the academic tone.

5. "The female fish find safe places to lay eggs" -> "Female salmon select safe locations for egg-laying"
   Explanation: "Select" is more precise and formal than "find," and "egg-laying" is a more specific term than "lay eggs." Additionally, using "salmon" instead of "fish" specifies the species, which is more accurate in scientific contexts.

6. "This process produces eggs, which are hidden in safe places to grow." -> "This process yields eggs, which are concealed in safe locations to develop."
   Explanation: "Yields" is more formal than "produces," and "concealed in safe locations to develop" is more precise and formal than "hidden in safe places to grow."

7. "the fish has become bigger in their size" -> "the fish have increased in size"
   Explanation: "Have increased in size" is grammatically correct and more formal than "has become bigger in their size," which is awkward and informal.

8. "the young fish grow into mature ones" -> "the young salmon mature"
   Explanation: "Mature" is a more concise and formal term than "grow into mature ones," and specifying "salmon" again maintains accuracy and specificity.

9. "swim back to their birthplace to lay eggs" -> "return to their natal site to spawn"
   Explanation: "Return to their natal site to spawn" is a more precise and scientifically accurate term than "swim back to their birthplace to lay eggs," which is less formal and less specific.

These changes enhance the formal and academic tone of the text while improving precision and clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task and presents an overview of the life cycle of a salmon. The essay identifies the key stages of the life cycle and provides some information about each stage. However, the essay does not fully develop the response and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the fish migrate into the open sea during the next stage of the cycle, but the diagram shows that the fish migrate into the open sea after the fry stage.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed information about each stage of the life cycle. The essay could also be improved by using more accurate language and by avoiding irrelevant details. For example, the essay could state that the fish migrate into the open sea after the fry stage, rather than stating that they migrate into the open sea during the next stage of the cycle. The essay could also avoid stating that the fish become bigger in size during the migration stage, as this is not clear from the diagram.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng:

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng:

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