The given line graph provides information about the figure for nitrogen oxide discharges that four vehicle producing across a variety of speeds

Overall, it is clear that the emissions of buses and petrol cars experienced an upward trend, the opposite was true for diesel cars and lorries. Additionally, buses produced the highest amount of nitrogen oxide while diesel cars were the most environmentally-friendly type of vehicles

To begin with, the nitrogen oxide manufactured by buses was 40g/km at10 kph, compared to just nearly 33g/km of lorries. Specifically, the emission figure of buses declined and hit the lowest point at over 25g/km at 60kph before witnessing a significant increase to 42g/km at 130kph. On the other hand, the lorries also dropped to 17g/km, which then grew slightly to roughly 25g/km at the highest speed

Regarding the other vehicles, petrol cars manufactured 12g/km at the lowest speed, which was two times higher than the emissions figure of diesel cars with approximately 6g/km. The discharge level of diesel cars decreased and remained stable around 5g/km from 70kph to 130kph, while that for petrol cars registered a fluctuation and finally went up to 11g/km and 12g/km with the exception of 120kph and 130kph respectively

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The given line graph provides information about the figure for nitrogen oxide discharges that four vehicle producing across a variety of speeds" -> "The given line graph presents data on nitrogen oxide emissions from four types of vehicles at various speeds"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and unclear. The revision clarifies the meaning and uses more precise academic language, specifying "presents data" instead of "provides information about the figure," and "nitrogen oxide emissions" instead of "nitrogen oxide discharges."
"experienced an upward trend" -> "displayed an upward trend"
Explanation: "Displayed" is more appropriate in this context as it directly relates to the visual representation of data in a graph, enhancing the academic tone.
"the opposite was true for diesel cars and lorries" -> "the opposite was true for diesel cars and lorries"
Explanation: This is a redundant statement as the context already indicates the comparison between the two types of vehicles. Removing the repetition enhances clarity and conciseness.
"buses produced the highest amount of nitrogen oxide while diesel cars were the most environmentally-friendly type of vehicles" -> "buses emitted the highest levels of nitrogen oxide, whereas diesel cars were the most environmentally friendly type of vehicle"
Explanation: "Emitted" is more precise than "produced" in the context of gases like nitrogen oxide. Also, "most environmentally friendly" should be hyphenated to be grammatically correct.
"the nitrogen oxide manufactured by buses was 40g/km at10 kph" -> "the nitrogen oxide emissions from buses were 40g/km at 10 kph"
Explanation: "Emissions" is the correct term for gases released, and "were" is the correct verb form for the plural subject "emissions."
"compared to just nearly 33g/km of lorries" -> "compared to approximately 33g/km from lorries"
Explanation: "Approximately" is more precise than "just nearly," and "from" is more appropriate than "of" when referring to the source of the emissions.
"the emission figure of buses declined and hit the lowest point at over 25g/km at 60kph" -> "the emissions from buses decreased and reached a minimum of 25g/km at 60kph"
Explanation: "Decreased" is more specific than "declined," and "reached a minimum" is a clearer description than "hit the lowest point."
"On the other hand, the lorries also dropped to 17g/km, which then grew slightly to roughly 25g/km at the highest speed" -> "In contrast, the emissions from lorries decreased to 17g/km, subsequently increasing slightly to approximately 25g/km at the highest speed"
Explanation: "In contrast" is a more formal alternative to "On the other hand," and "subsequently" is more precise than "which then grew slightly."
"petrol cars manufactured 12g/km at the lowest speed" -> "petrol cars emitted 12g/km at the lowest speed"
Explanation: "Emit" is the correct verb for gases released, replacing the incorrect "manufactured."
"which was two times higher than the emissions figure of diesel cars with approximately 6g/km" -> "which was twice the emissions level of diesel cars, approximately 6g/km"
Explanation: "Twice the emissions level" is a more precise and formal way to express the comparison, avoiding the informal "two times higher."
"The discharge level of diesel cars decreased and remained stable around 5g/km from 70kph to 130kph" -> "The emissions from diesel cars decreased and remained constant at around 5g/km from 70kph to 130kph"
Explanation: "Remained constant" is more precise than "remained stable," and "at around" is more appropriate than "around" in this context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the main trends in the line graph. However, it does not fully cover all the key features and bullet points. For example, the essay does not mention that the emissions of diesel cars remained stable from 70kph to 130kph. Additionally, the essay does not provide any data to support the description of the trends.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the trends in the line graph. For example, the essay could mention the exact figures for the emissions of each vehicle type at different speeds. The essay could also provide a more detailed analysis of the trends, such as explaining why the emissions of buses increased at higher speeds.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, and there is a clear overall progression. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, but there are instances where cohesion within and/or between sentences is somewhat mechanical. Paragraphing is used, but not always logically. For example, the introduction is not clearly separated from the body paragraphs, and there are some abrupt transitions between ideas.

How to improve:

Improve Paragraphing: Clearly separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single central topic.
Enhance Cohesion: Use a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Avoid mechanical repetition of phrases.
Refine Sentence Structure: Ensure that sentences within paragraphs are logically connected. Use referencing and substitution more effectively to avoid repetition and enhance readability.
Clarify Ideas: Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea. This will help in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While the writer attempts to use some specific terms related to the topic (e.g., "nitrogen oxide," "emissions," "discharge level"), the overall vocabulary is basic and lacks variety. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the opposite was true for diesel cars and lorries," which could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, there are issues with spelling and word formation, such as "manufactured" instead of "emitted" and "produced" instead of "manufactured" in the context of emissions. These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary related to environmental topics and vehicle emissions. Using more varied and precise language, such as synonyms for "produced" or "emissions," can improve clarity and sophistication. Additionally, paying attention to collocations and common phrases in academic writing will help reduce inaccuracies. Practicing spelling and ensuring correct word formation will also contribute to clearer communication. Reading high-quality essays or articles on similar topics can provide examples of effective vocabulary usage and inspire more varied expression in writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and punctuation, which can cause some difficulty for the reader. For example, phrases like "four vehicle producing" should be corrected to "four vehicles producing." Additionally, the use of "the opposite was true for diesel cars and lorries" lacks clarity and could be better structured. Overall, while the essay communicates the main ideas, the grammatical inaccuracies hinder its effectiveness.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex sentences. It is also essential to proofread for grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement. Practicing the use of subordinate clauses and varying sentence beginnings can help improve the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, paying attention to punctuation and ensuring clarity in comparisons will strengthen the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given line graph provides information about the figures for nitrogen oxide discharges from four types of vehicles across a variety of speeds.

Overall, it is clear that the emissions from buses and petrol cars experienced an upward trend, while the opposite was true for diesel cars and lorries. Additionally, buses produced the highest amount of nitrogen oxide, whereas diesel cars were the most environmentally friendly type of vehicle.

To begin with, the nitrogen oxide emitted by buses was 40g/km at 10 kph, compared to nearly 33g/km from lorries. Specifically, the emission figure for buses declined to its lowest point of just over 25g/km at 60 kph before witnessing a significant increase to 42g/km at 130 kph. On the other hand, lorries also dropped to 17g/km, which then grew slightly to roughly 25g/km at the highest speed.

Regarding the other vehicles, petrol cars emitted 12g/km at the lowest speed, which was two times higher than the emissions figure for diesel cars, approximately 6g/km. The discharge level of diesel cars decreased and remained stable around 5g/km from 70 kph to 130 kph, while that for petrol cars registered fluctuations, finally rising to 11g/km and 12g/km at 120 kph and 130 kph, respectively.