The graph below shows different sources of air pollutants in the UK from 1990 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the progression of various sources of air pollutants in the United Kingdom over a 15-year period, from 1990 to 2005.
Overall, it is evident that there was a significant decline in total air pollutants during this time frame, primarily driven by reductions in industrial emissions. Conversely, emissions from transport sources exhibited a relatively stable trend
In 1990, tatal air pollutants were recorded at approximately 7 million tonnes but this figure decreased markedly, finishing at just above 4 million tannes by 2005. The most notable reduction was observed in the industrial sector where emissions plummeted from nearly 3 million tonnes to around 1 million tonnes, signifying a substantial decline of 2 million tonnes. In stark contrast, emmissions from households remained relatively constant throughout the period, maintaining a steady level of approximately 1 million tonnes
Regarding transport emissions, these originated at around 2 million tonnes in 1990 and experienced only at slight decrease to slightly below2 million tonnes by 2005. This indicates that transport sources did not contribute as significantly to the overall reduction in air pollutants compared to industry.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The line graph illustrates" -> "The line graph depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more formal and precise verb than "illustrates" in academic contexts, enhancing the formality of the description.
"various sources of air pollutants" -> "various sources of air pollution"
Explanation: "Air pollution" is a more commonly used term in academic and scientific contexts than "air pollutants," which is less precise.
"a 15-year period" -> "a 15-year span"
Explanation: "Span" is a more formal and precise term than "period" in academic writing, particularly when referring to a specific duration of time.
"it is evident that" -> "it is clear that"
Explanation: "It is clear that" is a more academically appropriate phrase, enhancing the formality and precision of the statement.
"primarily driven by reductions in industrial emissions" -> "primarily driven by the reduction in industrial emissions"
Explanation: Using "the reduction in" instead of "reductions in" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances clarity.
"exhibited a relatively stable trend" -> "displayed a relatively stable trend"
Explanation: "Displayed" is more precise and formal than "exhibited" in this context, aligning better with academic language.
"tatal" -> "total"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error.
"finishing at just above 4 million tannes" -> "ending at approximately 4 million tonnes"
Explanation: "Ending" is more precise than "finishing" in this context, and "tonnes" should be spelled correctly.
"emmissions" -> "emissions"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error.
"signifying a substantial decline of 2 million tonnes" -> "indicating a substantial decline of 2 million tonnes"
Explanation: "Indicating" is more precise and formal than "signifying" in this context, fitting better with academic style.
"emmissions from households" -> "emissions from households"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error.
"maintaining a steady level of approximately 1 million tonnes" -> "remaining at a steady level of approximately 1 million tonnes"
Explanation: "Remaining" is more precise and formal than "maintaining" in this context, emphasizing the continuity of the level.
"transport emissions" -> "transportation emissions"
Explanation: "Transportation" is more specific and formal than "transport" when referring to the sector.
"experienced only at slight decrease" -> "experienced only a slight decrease"
Explanation: Corrects grammatical structure for clarity and formality.
"slightly below2 million tonnes" -> "slightly below 2 million tonnes"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error and maintains the formal tone.
"did not contribute as significantly" -> "did not contribute significantly"
Explanation: Removing "as" improves the flow and formality of the sentence.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the academic tone in the essay.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends in the graph, highlighting the significant decline in total air pollutants and the key role of industrial emissions in this reduction. It also accurately presents the relatively stable trend of transport emissions. The essay adequately covers the key features of the graph, but could be more fully extended by providing more specific details about the changes in each source of air pollutants.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes in each source of air pollutants. For example, the essay could mention that industrial emissions decreased by approximately 2 million tonnes between 1990 and 2005, while transport emissions decreased by only a small amount. The essay could also provide more specific information about the changes in household emissions, such as the fact that they remained relatively constant throughout the period.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, providing a clear overall progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs. The main features of the graph are summarized, and comparisons are made where relevant. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, with occasional awkward phrasing and repetition. While paragraphing is present, it could be improved for better logical flow, particularly in the transition between ideas.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally, ensuring that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth. Additionally, improving the logical structure of paragraphs by clearly delineating different aspects of the data could enhance clarity. Finally, proofreading for spelling errors (e.g., "tatal" and "tannes") would improve the overall professionalism of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with attempts to use less common lexical items such as "progression," "notable reduction," and "emissions." However, there are several inaccuracies in word choice and spelling, such as "tatal" instead of "total," "tannes" instead of "tonnes," and "emmissions" instead of "emissions." These errors do not completely impede communication but do detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but the presence of these errors indicates that the lexical resource is not fully developed.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Accuracy in Spelling: Proofreading the essay to correct spelling mistakes will improve clarity and professionalism.
Variety of Vocabulary: Incorporating a wider range of synonyms and less common lexical items can demonstrate greater flexibility and sophistication in vocabulary use.
Collocation Awareness: Ensuring that word combinations are natural and commonly used in English will enhance the overall quality of the writing. For instance, using "a slight decrease" instead of "only at slight decrease" would improve fluency.
Contextual Precision: Being mindful of word choice to ensure that terms accurately reflect the data being discussed will enhance precision and clarity.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, effectively communicating the main features of the graph. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and punctuation issues that occasionally hinder clarity, such as "tatal" instead of "total," "tannes" instead of "tonnes," and "emmissions" instead of "emissions." While the overall message is conveyed, these errors detract from the overall accuracy and fluency of the writing.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading to catch spelling errors and ensure correct punctuation. Additionally, incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures with accurate grammar would help achieve a higher band score. Practicing sentence variety and reviewing grammatical rules can also contribute to improved accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In 1990, total air pollutants were recorded at approximately 7 million tonnes, but this figure decreased markedly, finishing at just above 4 million tonnes by 2005. The most notable reduction was observed in the industrial sector, where emissions plummeted from nearly 3 million tonnes to around 1 million tonnes, signifying a substantial decline of 2 million tonnes. In stark contrast, emissions from households remained relatively constant throughout the period, maintaining a steady level of approximately 1 million tonnes.

Regarding transport emissions, these originated at around 2 million tonnes in 1990 and experienced only a slight decrease to just below 2 million tonnes by 2005. This indicates that transport sources did not contribute as significantly to the overall reduction in air pollutants compared to industry.