The line graph represents the average percentage change in the price of copper, nickel, and zinc throughout the months of 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The line graph represents the average percentage change in the price of copper, nickel, and zinc throughout the months of 2014.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The chart shows the monthly price changes of copper, nickel and zinc in 2014.

Overall, nickel price experienced a significant decrease while zinc and copper prices fluctuated in the same year.

As can be seen from the graph, nickel price increased 6% in January compared to the previous month while the figures for copper and zinc were only 2% and 1% respectively. Zinc reached its peak of 3% in February before a significant drop from March to June, falling from 2% to -1%. In the same period, there was a downward trend for nickel over the first half of 2014, decreasing sharply from 6% to -3%. Similarly, the figure for copper went down gradually to its low of 0% in May and June.

In the second half of the year, the prices of copper climbed to nearly 2% and zinc rose to 2% in December despite some fluctuations. In addition, nickel price recovered, rising from the low of -3% in June to 1% in December despite a fall to -1% in October.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The chart shows" -> "The graph illustrates"
Explanation: "Graph" is a more precise term in academic contexts, and "illustrates" is a more formal verb than "shows," enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"nickel price experienced a significant decrease" -> "the nickel price underwent a substantial decline"
Explanation: "Underwent" is more formal and precise than "experienced," and "substantial decline" is a more academic way to describe the extent of the decrease.
"fluctuated" -> "varied"
Explanation: "Varied" is a more neutral term that does not carry the connotation of randomness that "fluctuated" might imply, making it more suitable for an academic description of data patterns.
"increased 6% in January" -> "rose by 6% in January"
Explanation: "Rose by" is a more formal and precise way to describe an increase in value, aligning better with academic style.
"the figures for copper and zinc were only 2% and 1% respectively" -> "the corresponding figures for copper and zinc were 2% and 1%"
Explanation: "Corresponding" clarifies that the figures are related to the previous discussion of changes in prices, enhancing clarity and formality.
"Zinc reached its peak of 3% in February" -> "Zinc achieved a peak value of 3% in February"
Explanation: "Achieved a peak value" is more formal and precise than "reached its peak," which is slightly informal and vague.
"significant drop" -> "marked decline"
Explanation: "Marked decline" is a more formal expression than "significant drop," which is somewhat colloquial.
"downward trend" -> "decline"
Explanation: "Decline" is a more concise and formal term than "downward trend," which can be seen as slightly informal.
"climbed to nearly 2%" -> "increased to approximately 2%"
Explanation: "Increased to approximately" is a more precise and formal way to describe the rise in value, avoiding the colloquial "climbed."
"rose to 2% in December" -> "reached 2% in December"
Explanation: "Reached" is a more formal verb than "rose," which can be seen as slightly informal in this context.
"despite some fluctuations" -> "despite fluctuations"
Explanation: Removing "some" makes the phrase more concise and formal, aligning better with academic style.
"the low of -3% in June" -> "the low point of -3% in June"
Explanation: "Low point" is a more precise term than "low," which is vague and informal in this context.

These changes enhance the formality and precision of the language used in the essay, aligning it more closely with academic standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the graph, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also presents and adequately highlights key features/ bullet points, but details may be irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "nickel price increased 6% in January compared to the previous month" but does not mention that the price of copper and zinc also increased in January.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay could also be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details. For example, the essay could mention that the price of copper and zinc also increased in January. The essay could also provide more specific details about the fluctuations in the prices of copper, nickel, and zinc.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization and progression of ideas throughout. It effectively summarises the main features of the graph, comparing the changes in prices of copper, nickel, and zinc over the course of 2014. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data, such as the initial decreases and subsequent recoveries in prices for each metal. The use of cohesive devices such as ‘while’, ‘similarly’, and ‘despite’ helps maintain coherence and connection between sentences and ideas. Paragraphing is sufficiently managed, with each paragraph clearly addressing a central topic related to the price trends of the metals. Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents information in a logical sequence.

How to improve:
To potentially reach a higher band score of 8, ensure even more precise and varied use of cohesive devices without any over- or under-use. Additionally, strive for even more explicit paragraphing that could further enhance the clarity and logical progression of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task. It includes some specific terms related to price changes ("peak," "downward trend," "fluctuations") and uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary ("significant decrease," "reached its peak," "recovered"). There are attempts to vary lexical items such as "increase," "decrease," "climbed," "fluctuated," etc., though some terms like "sharp," "gradually," "despite" add sophistication. However, there are occasional inaccuracies and repetitions ("significant decrease," "fluctuated," "recovered"), which slightly impact clarity.

How to improve:
To improve, focus on expanding the range of vocabulary further, particularly using more precise and varied terms to describe trends and changes. Ensure accuracy in word choice and avoid repetitive phrases to enhance lexical variety and sophistication. Pay attention to collocation and idiomatic use of expressions related to economic data representation.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy suitable for Band 7. It utilizes a variety of sentence structures effectively, including complex sentences to convey information clearly. There are frequent error-free sentences throughout, indicating a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors in punctuation and sentence structure, such as the occasional awkward phrasing or incorrect verb tense.

How to improve:
To improve to a Band 8, focus on reducing minor errors further, particularly in sentence structure and punctuation. Ensure that complex sentences are used with complete accuracy and clarity. Reviewing the use of verb tenses and sentence transitions could enhance the overall fluency and coherence of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line graph illustrates the monthly percentage changes in the prices of copper, nickel, and zinc over the course of 2014.

In general, nickel saw a notable decline in price, whereas zinc and copper exhibited fluctuating trends throughout the year.

Initially, nickel prices rose by 6% in January compared to the previous month, while copper and zinc experienced more modest increases of 2% and 1%, respectively. Zinc reached its peak at 3% in February before sharply declining from March to June, plunging from 2% to -1%. During this period, nickel also experienced a downward trajectory in the first half of 2014, decreasing sharply from 6% to -3%. Similarly, copper declined steadily to its low point of 0% in May and June.

In the latter half of the year, copper prices rose to nearly 2% and zinc increased to 2% by December despite some fluctuations. Additionally, nickel prices rebounded, recovering from a low of -3% in June to 1% in December, with a dip to -1% in October.