The map below shows the change of this region in 1995 and now.

The map details the significant changes that have occurred in a specific region from 1995 to the present, highlighting the transformation of economic activities, housing developments, and the introduction of new sports and entertainment facilities.

Overall, a prominent economic activity, namely the fishing port, has been removed along with its supporting facilities. The region has experienced a potential increase in population, evidenced by the construction of more houses and new sports and entertainment amenities.
One of the most remarkable changes is the removal of the fishing port in the southernmost part of the map. The fish market that once supported this port has been converted into a set of apartments, while the nearby shop has been transformed into a restaurant. Although the hotel close to the sea has remained unchanged, it now features an added car park, enhancing its facilities.

Additionally, the road heading towards the northwest has seen the construction of more houses. Along its newly built western branch, two major housing components have been established. Similarly, further construction of houses is observed along the main direction of this road, indicating a clear trend towards residential expansion.

In the northeastern part of the map, notable modifications include the repurposing of the farmland and the forest park. These natural areas have been converted into sports entertainment facilities, specifically a golf course and a tennis court, respectively. This transformation underscores the region's shift towards accommodating recreational activities.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The map details the significant changes" -> "The map illustrates the substantial alterations"
Explanation: Replacing "details" with "illustrates" provides a more precise verb choice that is commonly used in academic contexts to describe visual representations like maps, enhancing the formal tone.
"a prominent economic activity, namely the fishing port" -> "a significant economic activity, specifically the fishing port"
Explanation: "Significant" is more precise than "prominent" in this context, and "specifically" is more formal than "namely," aligning better with academic style.
"has been removed" -> "has been discontinued"
Explanation: "Discontinued" is a more formal and precise term than "removed," which is somewhat vague and less specific in this context.
"has experienced a potential increase" -> "has witnessed a potential increase"
Explanation: "Witnessed" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "experienced," which can imply personal involvement.
"new sports and entertainment amenities" -> "new sports and recreational facilities"
Explanation: "Recreational facilities" is a more specific and formal term than "entertainment amenities," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"One of the most remarkable changes" -> "One of the most notable transformations"
Explanation: "Transformations" is a more precise and formal term than "changes," and "notable" is academically appropriate compared to "remarkable," which can be seen as overly emotional.
"has been converted into a set of apartments" -> "has been redeveloped as a residential complex"
Explanation: "Redeveloped as a residential complex" is a more formal and detailed description than "converted into a set of apartments," which is somewhat simplistic and vague.
"the nearby shop has been transformed into a restaurant" -> "the adjacent shop has been converted into a restaurant"
Explanation: "Adjacent" is more precise than "nearby" in describing spatial relationships, and "converted" is more formal than "transformed."
"enhancing its facilities" -> "expanding its services"
Explanation: "Expanding its services" is a more precise and formal way to describe the addition of amenities, fitting better in an academic context.
"the road heading towards the northwest" -> "the road leading northwest"
Explanation: "Leading northwest" is a more concise and formal way to describe the direction of the road, eliminating the redundancy of "heading towards."
"the construction of more houses" -> "the development of additional residential units"
Explanation: "Development of additional residential units" is more formal and specific than "construction of more houses," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"notable modifications" -> "significant alterations"
Explanation: "Significant alterations" is a more precise and formal term than "notable modifications," aligning better with academic style.
"the farmland and the forest park" -> "the agricultural land and the forest reserve"
Explanation: "Agricultural land" and "forest reserve" are more specific and formal terms than "farmland" and "forest park," enhancing the academic tone.
"sports entertainment facilities" -> "recreational facilities"
Explanation: "Recreational facilities" is a more precise and formal term than "sports entertainment facilities," which is redundant and informal.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task and presents a clear overview of the main changes. It clearly presents and highlights key features/bullet points but could be more fully extended.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes. For example, the essay could mention the exact number of houses that have been built or the size of the golf course. The essay could also provide more analysis of the changes, such as explaining why the fishing port was removed or what the impact of the new sports and entertainment facilities has been.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a central topic, such as the removal of the fishing port and the expansion of housing, which helps maintain coherence. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are moments where the connection between ideas could be strengthened, indicating some under-use or over-use of certain devices. Overall, the paragraphing is clear, but there are instances where the flow could be improved to achieve a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could focus on varying the use of cohesive devices to avoid redundancy and ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph not only presents a central topic but also clearly connects back to the overall theme of regional change would strengthen the overall progression of the essay. More explicit referencing could also help clarify relationships between different parts of the text.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the changes depicted in the map. The use of phrases like "significant changes," "transformation of economic activities," and "residential expansion" indicates an awareness of style and appropriate lexical choices. The writer employs less common lexical items, such as "repurposing" and "amenities," which enhance the overall quality of the essay. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the hotel close to the sea has remained unchanged," which could be more precisely expressed. Additionally, there are minor errors in spelling and word formation that do not impede communication but indicate room for improvement.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary further and ensuring precise word choices, particularly in more complex sentences. Additionally, minimizing errors in spelling and word formation will enhance clarity. Incorporating more sophisticated lexical features and ensuring that less common vocabulary is used accurately will also contribute to a better score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, which aligns well with the criteria for Band 7. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors present. The overall clarity and coherence of the essay are maintained, allowing for effective communication of the changes depicted in the map.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer could focus on increasing the range of grammatical structures used, incorporating more complex forms and ensuring that any errors are minimized. Additionally, enhancing the variety of sentence beginnings and using more sophisticated vocabulary could further improve the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

One of the most remarkable changes is the removal of the fishing port in the southernmost part of the map. The fish market that once supported this port has been converted into a set of apartments, while the nearby shop has been transformed into a restaurant. Although the hotel close to the sea has remained unchanged, it now features an additional car park, enhancing its facilities.

Additionally, the road heading northwest has seen the construction of more houses. Along its newly built western branch, two major housing developments have been established. Similarly, further construction of houses is observed along the main direction of this road, indicating a clear trend towards residential expansion.

In the northeastern part of the map, notable modifications include the repurposing of farmland and the forest park. These natural areas have been converted into sports and entertainment facilities, specifically a golf course and a tennis court, respectively. This transformation underscores the region’s shift towards accommodating recreational activities.