The maps below show a bookstore in 2000 and now.

The maps illustrate the changes of the bookstore between 2000 to the present day

Overall , the bookstore is completely transformed . In addition , some book sections are changed inside and added more housing are provided.

In 2000 , there was a main entrance from west to east across the center of bookstore . In the middle of the center have art , hobbies , cookery . The northern side of the bookstore were 2 fiction . On the opposite side , there were 2 book sections that's service desk , non-fiction . The travel and new books were located next to entrance . Both the travel and the new books were connected to the bookstore by entrance .

However , until now the most notable change were 3 middle in the center replaced by 3 table ,the 3 types of books in the center were moved to the top along with a shelf of fiction books . The non-fiction shelf was moved to the fiction shelf on the east side . Also , in the south is produced an additional coffee shop that replaced the non-fiction book format when moved up. After many years of upgrading and more convenient facilities, we can sit in the center again when adding more tables.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"added more housing are" -> "additional seating have been provided"
Explanation: The term "housing" is typically used to refer to accommodation or dwellings, which is not suitable in this context. "Seating areas" is a more appropriate term to describe the added spaces in the bookstore.
"In the middle of the center have art, hobbies, cookery" -> "In the center, there are sections for art, hobbies, and cookery"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks proper subject-verb agreement. By changing "have" to "are," the sentence becomes grammatically correct.
"On the opposite side, there were 2 book sections that’s service desk, non-fiction" -> "On the opposite side, there were 2 book sections, one for the service desk and the other for non-fiction books"
Explanation: The original sentence is unclear and lacks proper punctuation. By separating the two book sections and specifying their contents, the sentence becomes more precise.
"However, until now the most notable change were 3 middle in the center replaced by 3 table" -> "However, the most notable change up to now has been the replacement of 3 central tables"
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly phrased and lacks clarity. By rephrasing it to specify the change more clearly, the sentence becomes more concise and understandable.
"Also, in the south is produced an additional coffee shop that replaced the non-fiction book format when moved up" -> "Additionally, a new coffee shop has been established in the southern area, replacing the previous non-fiction book section"
Explanation: The original sentence is convoluted and unclear. By restructuring it to clearly state the establishment of a new coffee shop and its replacement of the non-fiction book section, the sentence becomes more coherent.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay attempts to address the changes in the bookstore layout from 2000 to the present day. It mentions some key features such as the main entrance, different book sections, and the addition of a coffee shop. However, the description lacks clarity and coherence. There are inaccuracies in the details provided, and the overall organization of the information is confusing. The essay fails to provide a clear overview of the changes and does not adequately cover all key features.

How to improve:
To improve the Task Achievement score, focus on providing a more structured and coherent description of the changes in the bookstore layout. Ensure that the information is accurate and relevant. Clearly highlight the key features and provide a more detailed comparison between the 2000 and present-day layouts. Additionally, work on improving the overall clarity and organization of the essay to better meet the requirements of the task.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay presents information about the changes in the bookstore layout from 2000 to the present day. However, the organization of ideas is lacking coherence and there is no clear progression in the response. The use of cohesive devices is basic and may be inaccurate or repetitive. The essay lacks clear paragraphing, making it confusing to follow the flow of information.

How to improve: To improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay, focus on organizing the information in a logical manner with a clear progression from one point to the next. Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure that the essay is structured with clear paragraphs that logically divide different aspects of the comparison between the two time periods.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some errors in word choice and spelling. The overall message is conveyed, but the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There are noticeable errors in word formation and spelling that may cause some difficulty for the reader.

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, focus on expanding the range of vocabulary used in the essay. Try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and spelling to reduce errors that may impact the clarity of the message. Consider using synonyms and more descriptive language to enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay that affect the clarity of the message. Punctuation is also faulty in several instances, making it challenging for the reader to follow the content smoothly.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures with more accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and punctuation to ensure the clarity and coherence of the essay. Practice writing complex sentences and proofread carefully to correct any errors before submitting the final version.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps depict the evolution of a bookstore the year 2000 to the present day.

Initially, in 2000, the main entrance spanned from west to east through the center of the bookstore. The central area housed sections dedicated to art, hobbies, and cookery, while the northern side featured two sections for fiction books. On the opposite side, there were two sections for non-fiction books and a service desk. The travel and new book sections were situated adjacent to the entrance, connecting them seamlessly to the rest of the bookstore.

Fast forward to the present day, significant changes have taken place. The three middle sections in the center have been replaced by three tables, and the three types of books previously located there have been relocated to the top alongside a shelf dedicated to fiction books. The non-fiction shelf has been moved to the east side, merging with the fiction shelf. Additionally, a new coffee shop has been introduced in the southern part of the bookstore, taking the place of the non-fiction book section that was relocated. These alterations have been made to enhance the bookstore’s layout and provide a more convenient and inviting space for customers. Now, patrons can enjoy the added tables in the center, creating a more welcoming environment for browsing and reading.