The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The diagram illustrates an industrial zone in Norbiton and the improvemental location will be planned in the future.
Overall, it is apparent that the increasing of houses when replacing a lot of factories to live and survive. Moreover, more facilities built surrounding houses to provide the best service for all of citizens here.
Right now, surrounding a roundbout are factories. Moreover, more then five factories along a street. At that time, people pay attention to workng and we do not have a statergy to remake again this area. Similarity to East, only factories and road appear entirely. A long river with a huge farmland to apply their rountine demands.
However, in many years future, the massive differences give themselves the better life. At that now, a lot of factories before will be altered into houses and shops here. Besides, 2 roads are established and new places for some entertainment as medical centre, playground and also schools. To expand the street, they build a smaller roundbout at South to be conivinent. Especially, they seperate the rive to build bridge and enhance their life. Not only moving farmland to East North, but they also build more houses here for citizens.

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Errors and Improvements:

"improvemental" -> "developmental"
Explanation: "Improvemental" is not a standard English word. "Developmental" is a more appropriate term to describe the future planning

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

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Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features or bullet points. While the essay discusses some changes and identifies certain features, it often lacks clarity, coherence, and accurate description. The key differences between the current and future plans are not consistently highlighted. The structure and organization are somewhat unclear, and some parts are repetitive or inaccurate. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which also impact the clarity of the response.

How to improve: To improve the task achievement, the essay should focus on presenting a clear overview of the changes between the current industrial area and the future development plan. It would be helpful to accurately describe the layout and discuss key features such as the new roads, facilities, and housing, making comparisons where relevant. Additionally, attention to grammatical accuracy and overall coherence would contribute to a clearer response. Avoiding repetition and irrelevant details will also improve the focus and organization.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

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Explanation: The essay presents some informationBand Score: 4.0

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Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial areaBand Score: 4.0

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Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in NorBand Score: 4.0

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Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in NorbitBand Score: 4.0

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Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton andBand Score: 4.0

Explanation:
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Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and theBand Score: 4.0

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Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and the planned futureBand Score: 4.0

Explanation:
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Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and the planned future developmentBand Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and plannedBand Score: 4

Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and the planned future development.Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and planned futureBand Score: 4

Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and the planned future development. HoweverBand Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and planned future developmentBand Score: 4

Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and the planned future development. However,Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and planned future development,Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and the planned future development. However, the organization isBand Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and planned future development, butBand Score: 4

Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and the planned future development. However, the organization is lackingBand Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and planned future development, but the organization isBand Score: 4

Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and the planned future development. However, the organization is lacking coherence andBand Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and planned future development, but the organization is lackingBand Score: 4

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and planned future development, but the organization is lacking coherence andBand Score: 4

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and planned future development, but the organization is lacking coherence and cohesion.Band Score: 4

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and planned future development, but the organization is lacking coherence and cohesion. IdeasBand Score: 4

Explanation: The essay presents some information about the industrial area in Norbiton and the planned future development. However, the organization is lacking coherence and progression. The essay jumps between present and future tenses without clear transitions, leading to confusion. Additionally, there are issues with cohesion as the use of cohesive devicesBand Score: 4.0

Explanation:
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How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information providedBand Score: 4

How to improve:

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How to improve:

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How to improve:

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How to improve:

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How to improve:

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CohesionBand Score**: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
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How to improve:

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How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devicesBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
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How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctionBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctionsBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions,Band Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitionsBand Score: 4

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing ideas logically with a clear progression throughout the essay. Using appropriate transitional phrases can help smooth the transitions between different time frames and concepts. Additionally, employing a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as pronouns, conjunctions, and transitional phrases, can enhance the connectivity between sentencesBand Score: 4.0

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, andBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronounsBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns toBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to linkBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideasBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas withinBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within andBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentencesBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences.Band Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitiveBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language andBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensureBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure thatBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that eachBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributesBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributes toBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributes to theBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall coherenceBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall coherence ofBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall coherence of theBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall coherence of the essayBand Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
Band Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
3Band Score: 4

How to improve:

Organization: Begin by structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the information provided.
Cohesion: Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitions, and pronouns to link ideas within and between sentences. Avoid repetitive language and ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
3.Band Score: 4

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some noticeable errors in word choice and word formation. For example, "improvemental" should be "developmental," "statergy" should be "strategy," "rountine" should be "routine," "conivinent" should be "convenient," and "seperate" should be "separate." Additionally, there are instances where the use of vocabulary is repetitive, such as the repeated use of "factories" and "houses."

The essay attempts to convey information about the transformation of an industrial area into a residential and commercial zone in Norbiton. It briefly describes the current state of the industrial area with factories and roads, and then outlines the planned future development, including the conversion of factories into houses and shops, the construction of new roads, and the addition of amenities like medical centers, playgrounds, and schools. However, the lack of variety in vocabulary and the errors in word choice and formation make the essay difficult to follow at times and limit its effectiveness in conveying precise meanings.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using words more accurately. They should also pay attention to word choice and avoid repetitive use of the same words. Proofreading the essay carefully to correct errors in spelling and word formation would also help enhance the lexical quality of the writing. Additionally, using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary related to urban planning and development would add depth and clarity to the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are numerous grammatical errors and issues with punctuation throughout the text. The essay lacks consistency in grammatical accuracy and structure, which affects the overall coherence and readability.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on sentence structure and use a wider variety of sentence forms. Additionally, pay attention to grammar rules and punctuation to ensure clearer communication. Proofreading the essay for errors before submission is essential to enhance clarity and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagrams depict the current layout of an industrial area in Norbiton, alongside proposed developments for the future.

Overall, the transformation of the area is evident, with a shift from predominantly industrial to residential and commercial purposes. Initially, the landscape comprises factories surrounding a roundabout, with over five factories lining a street. Notably, there is a river and extensive farmland to the east, catering to agricultural needs.

In the envisioned future, significant changes are foreseen, aimed at enhancing the quality of life for residents. Former industrial sites will undergo conversion into residential dwellings and commercial establishments, including shops. Additionally, infrastructure improvements are planned, including the construction of two new roads and amenities such as a medical center, playgrounds, and schools. To facilitate smoother traffic flow, a smaller roundabout will be introduced to the south. Moreover, efforts will be made to improve connectivity by building bridges over the river. Furthermore, there will be a relocation of farmland to the northeast, making room for additional housing developments.

In summary, the future development plans for the Norbiton industrial area indicate a transition towards a more residentially and commercially focused environment, accompanied by enhancements in infrastructure and amenities.