The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

The two maps below illustrate a university sports centre before and after the construction of some facilities. In general, it is evident from the plans that the pool, along with its surrounding infrastructure, remains intact after the redevelopment.

In detail, the pool will still be located to the north of the reception area and in front of the gym. In contrast, two outdoor courts will be removed in the future and replaced by other types of sports facilities. This development allows for the expansion of the gym, which retains its position behind the pool but now extends its area to the east. Moreover, a leisure pool and two new dance studios are also introduced on both sides of the old pool. It is also noteworthy that there will be a sports hall located near the gym, situated between the seating area and the two dance studios.

Finally, changing rooms, a café, and a sports shop are also included in the plans. While the changing rooms are positioned at the corners of the new centre, the café and sports shop are placed near the reception.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In general, it is evident from the plans" -> "Overall, the plans indicate"
Explanation: Replacing "In general, it is evident from the plans" with "Overall, the plans indicate" simplifies and clarifies the statement, enhancing the formal tone and precision of the academic language.
"along with its surrounding infrastructure" -> "including its surrounding infrastructure"
Explanation: The phrase "along with" can be replaced with "including" to provide a more direct and formal connection to the surrounding infrastructure, aligning better with academic style.
"In contrast, two outdoor courts will be removed" -> "In contrast, the two outdoor courts will be eliminated"
Explanation: Using "eliminated" instead of "removed" provides a more precise and formal term suitable for academic writing, emphasizing the complete removal of the courts.
"This development allows for the expansion" -> "This development enables the expansion"
Explanation: Replacing "allows for" with "enables" shifts the phrase to a more active and precise verb, enhancing the formal tone and clarity of the sentence.
"which retains its position" -> "which remains in its position"
Explanation: "Remains" is a more precise and formal verb than "retains" in this context, fitting better in an academic description of spatial relationships.
"now extends its area to the east" -> "now expands its area eastward"
Explanation: "Expands its area eastward" is more precise and formal, providing a clearer direction and extent of the expansion.
"It is also noteworthy that" -> "It is also significant that"
Explanation: Replacing "noteworthy" with "significant" elevates the formality of the statement and aligns better with academic language.
"sports hall located near the gym" -> "sports hall situated adjacent to the gym"
Explanation: "Situated adjacent to" is more precise and formal than "located near," providing a clearer spatial relationship.
"seating area and the two dance studios" -> "seating area and the adjacent dance studios"
Explanation: "Adjacent" is more specific and formal than "near," enhancing the description of spatial proximity.
"changing rooms, a café, and a sports shop" -> "changing rooms, a café, and a sports store"
Explanation: Replacing "shop" with "store" aligns with more formal and precise terminology commonly used in academic and professional contexts.
"are positioned at the corners" -> "are situated at the corners"
Explanation: "Situated" is a more formal synonym for "positioned," which is preferred in academic writing for describing spatial arrangements.

These changes refine the vocabulary to better suit the formal and precise requirements of academic writing, enhancing clarity and appropriateness.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main changes to the sports centre, highlighting the key features of the redevelopment. The essay also presents a clear comparison between the two plans, effectively using comparative language such as "in contrast" and "moreover".

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes to the sports centre. For example, the essay could mention the exact dimensions of the new facilities or the types of equipment that will be available in the expanded gym. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the changes. For example, instead of saying that the gym "extends its area to the east", the essay could say that the gym "is expanded by 50% to the east".

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a central topic, with the first paragraph introducing the overall changes and subsequent paragraphs detailing specific alterations. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are instances where the connections between sentences could be smoother, indicating some under-use of certain cohesive devices. Overall, the paragraphing is clear and effective, contributing to the essay’s coherence.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer could enhance the use of cohesive devices to create smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear and distinct focus while maintaining logical connections could further improve coherence. More varied sentence structures and linking phrases could also contribute to a more sophisticated flow of information.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in describing the changes to the sports centre. The use of terms like "infrastructure," "redevelopment," and "leisure pool" indicates an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as the phrase "surrounding infrastructure," which could be more precisely articulated. Overall, while the vocabulary is adequate for the task and conveys the intended meaning, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and ensure precise word choices. Additionally, minimizing errors in word formation and spelling will enhance the overall lexical resource. Practicing the use of uncommon lexical items in context and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition will also contribute to a more polished and sophisticated essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of complex sentence structures and produces several error-free sentences. The grammatical control is generally strong, with only a few minor errors that do not significantly impede understanding. The use of appropriate vocabulary and cohesive devices contributes to the clarity of the descriptions. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied, and some minor grammatical inaccuracies could be addressed for a higher score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of grammatical structures and ensure that all sentences are error-free. This could involve practicing more complex sentence forms and refining punctuation usage. Additionally, increasing the variety of vocabulary and enhancing the overall coherence of the essay would also contribute to a stronger performance in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

The two maps below illustrate a university sports centre before and after the construction of new facilities. In general, it is evident from the plans that the pool, along with its surrounding infrastructure, remains intact following the redevelopment.

In detail, the pool will still be situated to the north of the reception area and in front of the gym. In contrast, two outdoor courts will be removed in the future and replaced by different types of sports facilities. This development allows for the expansion of the gym, which retains its position behind the pool but now extends its area to the east. Moreover, a leisure pool and two new dance studios will also be introduced on both sides of the existing pool. It is also noteworthy that a sports hall will be located near the gym, positioned between the seating area and the two dance studios.