The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The provided picture illustrates the distribution of the ranges in the Southwest airport in the next year.
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Overall, this southwest airport at present has four areas, including check-in, cafe, walkaway and gates; whereas, in the future, it will be added with bag drop, ATM, sky train and car hire and eliminated walkway area. Additional, this airport will be expanded.
Looking at the Southest airport at present, the departures and arrivals are installes in 2 seperared sites. After passing departures, inhabitants can see a check-in place and a cafe in the oppsite sites. Subsequently, people can encounter the security passport control. Besides, nothing is equiped inside the arrivals. Then the walkways are accessed which is surrounded by eight fixed gates.
Turning to the future distribution, it is clear that this plan is more morden and adequate than the present one. In the departures site, this area will be facilitated with a big drop located in the present check-in area. the cafe will be taken place at the left hand while the check-in will be taken place at the right hand. Before coming to the walkway, the shops will appeared to people. Additionally, the other sites that are arrivals will be provided with car hire, ATM and cafe which is taken placed respectively. Moreover, the walkways will be made longer and the the 18 gates will surround two branches at this area

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The provided picture illustrates" -> "The illustration depicts"
   Explanation: "The illustration depicts" is a more formal and precise term, suitable for academic writing, compared to the more casual "The provided picture illustrates."

2. "at present has" -> "currently has"
   Explanation: "Currently" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "at present," which can sound slightly informal and dated.

3. "including check-in, cafe, walkaway and gates" -> "comprising check-in, cafe, walkway, and gates"
   Explanation: "Comprising" is more precise and formal than "including," and "walkway" should be spelled correctly to maintain professionalism.

4. "will be added with" -> "will feature"
   Explanation: "Will feature" is a more formal and concise way to indicate the introduction of new elements, replacing the less formal "will be added with."

5. "Additional, this airport will be expanded." -> "Additionally, the airport will be expanded."
   Explanation: "Additionally" should be a separate word from the sentence, and the article "the" is necessary before "airport" for clarity and grammatical correctness.

6. "installes" -> "installed"
   Explanation: Corrects the spelling error to "installed" for grammatical accuracy.

7. "seperared" -> "separated"
   Explanation: Corrects the spelling error to "separated" for grammatical accuracy.

8. "in the oppsite sites" -> "in the opposite sites"
   Explanation: Corrects the spelling error to "opposite" and removes the unnecessary hyphenation in "sites."

9. "nothing is equiped" -> "nothing is equipped"
   Explanation: Corrects the verb form to "equipped" for grammatical correctness.

10. "Then the walkways are accessed which is surrounded by eight fixed gates." -> "The walkways, surrounded by eight fixed gates, are accessible."
    Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence structure and uses "accessible" to improve the formality and flow of the text.

11. "this plan is more morden and adequate" -> "this plan is more modern and adequate"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "modern" to "modern" for accuracy and grammatical correctness.

12. "a big drop" -> "a baggage drop"
    Explanation: "Baggage drop" is the correct term for the facility where passengers drop off their luggage, replacing the vague "big drop."

13. "the cafe will be taken place at the left hand while the check-in will be taken place at the right hand" -> "the cafe will be situated on the left, and the check-in will be situated on the right"
    Explanation: Corrects the awkward phrasing and uses "situated" for a more formal tone, clarifying the spatial arrangement.

14. "the shops will appeared to people" -> "shops will be available to passengers"
    Explanation: "Will be available to passengers" is a more precise and formal way to express the availability of shops, replacing the incorrect and informal "will appeared to people."

15. "taken placed" -> "located"
    Explanation: "Located" is the correct term for describing the position of something, replacing the incorrect "taken placed."

16. "the the" -> "the"
    Explanation: Removes the unnecessary repetition of "the" for grammatical correctness.

These changes enhance the formal tone, precision, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main features of the airport. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "the cafe will be taken place at the left hand while the check-in will be taken place at the right hand" but does not mention the location of the security passport control.

How to improve: The essay needs to provide a clearer overview of the main features of the airport. The essay should also focus on the key features/bullet points and avoid irrelevant details. The essay should also be more accurate in its description of the airport. For example, the essay states that "the walkways will be made longer and the the 18 gates will surround two branches at this area" but the image shows that the walkways will be made shorter and the gates will be located in a single branch.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some attempts at organizing information, but it lacks coherence and clear progression. There are significant issues with cohesion, as the essay relies heavily on repetitive phrases and lacks logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Paragraphing is inconsistent and confusing, which hampers the overall structure of the essay. The use of cohesive devices is basic and often inaccurate, with some sentences appearing disjointed or unclear. Overall, the essay struggles to present ideas coherently and does not achieve a clear progression in discussing the current and future states of the airport.

How to improve:

1. Organize Ideas Coherently: Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one central idea related to the current or future state of the airport. Avoid jumping between ideas without clear transitions.

2. Use Cohesive Devices Effectively: Employ a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., pronouns, conjunctions) to connect ideas logically within and between sentences. This will help in creating smoother transitions and enhancing overall coherence.

3. Improve Paragraph Structure: Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Follow up with supporting details and examples to develop each point effectively.

4. Avoid Repetition and Inaccuracy: Use synonyms and varied sentence structures to avoid repetitive phrases. Ensure that cohesive devices are used accurately to maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can improve its coherence and cohesion, aiming for a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary suitable for the task but lacks variety and sophistication. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation throughout the essay. Examples include "Southwest" instead of "Southwest," "seperared" instead of "separated," "installes" instead of "installed," "morden" instead of "modern," and "bag drop" instead of "baggage drop." These errors occasionally impede understanding and strain the reader’s comprehension. The vocabulary used is quite repetitive ("will be," "taken place," "will be taken place"), and there is minimal use of less common vocabulary.

How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score:

1. Increase Vocabulary Range: Use a wider variety of vocabulary. Instead of repeating phrases like "will be," explore synonyms and different expressions.
2. Accuracy: Pay attention to accuracy in word choice, spelling, and word formation. Review common errors and proofread carefully.
3. Complexity: Aim for more sophisticated lexical features where possible, such as using precise technical terms related to airport infrastructure or more nuanced descriptive language.

Improving these aspects will help elevate the lexical resource to a higher band score, making the essay clearer and more engaging for the reader.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 3

Band Score: 3.5

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to convey information about the redevelopment plans of an airport, but it struggles significantly with grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. There are frequent errors throughout the text, including problems with verb tenses, article usage, word order, and sentence structure. These errors often obscure the meaning and cause difficulty for the reader in understanding the information presented. Punctuation is also problematic, with many missing commas and incorrect placements.

How to improve:

1. Sentence Structure: Focus on forming clear and coherent sentences. Avoid overly complex structures until a better grasp of basic sentence construction is achieved.
2. Grammar: Work on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage.
3. Punctuation: Practice using commas and other punctuation marks correctly to improve clarity and readability.
4. Vocabulary: Expand vocabulary to enhance expression and accuracy in conveying ideas.

This essay would benefit from a thorough review of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Practicing writing simpler sentences with correct grammar and punctuation would greatly improve clarity and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided image illustrates the current layout and the proposed redevelopment plans for the Southwest airport, scheduled for the next year.

Currently, the airport is divided into four main areas: check-in, cafe, walkway, and gates. In the future redevelopment, several additions and changes are planned. Specifically, the new facilities will include bag drop and ATM services in the departures area, with a sky train and car hire replacing the existing walkway. Additionally, the airport will undergo expansion to accommodate these changes.

Currently, the departures and arrivals are situated in separate locations within the airport. Upon departing, passengers encounter the check-in counters and a cafe situated opposite each other. Following this, security and passport control procedures are implemented. In contrast, the arrivals area currently lacks amenities, and passengers proceed directly to the walkways leading to eight fixed gates.

Looking ahead to the redevelopment, significant enhancements are evident. The departures area will feature a relocated check-in area, now housing the bag drop, with the cafe positioned on the left and shops on the right. In the arrivals area, car hire, ATM, and a cafe will be sequentially situated. Furthermore, the walkways will be extended, accommodating the eighteen gates which will branch into two sections.

Overall, the planned redevelopment aims to modernize and expand the airport infrastructure, enhancing passenger experience and operational efficiency.