The population of many cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects on people living in these cities? What can be done to maintain the quality of life of these peopie?

The population of major cities is seeing fast growth. I believe this growth may result in several problems, especially with employment competition and the pressure on public services. These difficulties can be addressed by implementing advantageous measures such as shifting businesses to rural areas and improving infrastructure and services beyond urban centers.

The plethora of employment opportunities in metropolitan areas significantly contributes to their elevated population density. The urban population is steadily rising owing to the plethora of lucrative employment opportunities available. Public services and housing are experiencing heightened pressure due to the influx of individuals into urban areas. Moreover, the elevated population density has exerted significant pressure on the healthcare sector, complicating the provision of effective medical services. Hospitals in densely populated areas have had challenges in meeting demand during recent health crises, jeopardizing the health of the local populace.

Megacities could more effectively alleviate their burdens if businesses transfer to less populated regions. By transferring enterprises and industries to rural or suburban regions, metropolitan areas can diminish population density. The environment experiences reduced impact, and transportation congestion diminishes accordingly. Upgrading utilities in remote regions is also advisable. By establishing offices, renovating roads, and enhancing living circumstances, the government can augment the appeal of rural areas to individuals and enterprises. The demand for numerous urban houses would diminish due to this transition. This would enhance the quality of life for all individuals.

In conclusion, two primary concerns resulting from urban overpopulation are employment scarcity and heightened demand for public services. Nevertheless, pragmatic strategies such as transferring enterprises and enhancing rural infrastructure could mitigate these challenges. These measures would foster equitable development in the region and enhance the quality of life for urban residents.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"seeing fast growth" -> "experiencing rapid growth"
Explanation: "Experiencing rapid growth" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence by using a more specific and formal verb phrase.
"I believe" -> "it is believed"
Explanation: Replacing "I believe" with "it is believed" shifts the focus from a personal opinion to a more objective, academic stance, which is more appropriate for formal writing.
"advantageous measures" -> "strategic measures"
Explanation: "Strategic measures" is a more precise term in an academic context, implying thoughtful planning and consideration, which is more suitable than the vague "advantageous measures."
"shifting businesses to rural areas" -> "relocating businesses to rural areas"
Explanation: "Relocating" is a more specific and formal term than "shifting," which is more commonly used in informal contexts.
"improving infrastructure and services beyond urban centers" -> "enhancing infrastructure and services beyond urban centers"
Explanation: "Enhancing" is a more formal synonym for "improving," aligning better with academic language standards.
"plethora of employment opportunities" -> "abundance of employment opportunities"
Explanation: "Abundance" is a more formal synonym for "plethora," which can sound slightly informal and colloquial in academic writing.
"elevated population density" -> "increased population density"
Explanation: "Increased" is a more straightforward and formal term than "elevated," which can be seen as slightly metaphorical and less precise in this context.
"heightened pressure" -> "increased pressure"
Explanation: Similar to the previous point, "increased" is a more straightforward and formal term than "heightened," which can be seen as slightly dramatic and less precise.
"Megacities" -> "large cities"
Explanation: "Megacities" is a term that may be considered overly specific and less universally understood in academic contexts. "Large cities" is a more general and widely recognized term.
"transfer to less populated regions" -> "relocate to less populated regions"
Explanation: "Relocate" is a more precise and formal term than "transfer," which is often used in a broader sense and may not specifically imply a change of location.
"diminish population density" -> "reduce population density"
Explanation: "Reduce" is a more direct and formal term than "diminish," which can be seen as slightly vague and less precise in this context.
"Upgrading utilities in remote regions" -> "Enhancing utilities in remote regions"
Explanation: "Enhancing" is a more formal and precise term than "upgrading," which can be seen as slightly informal and less specific in an academic context.
"augment the appeal" -> "improve the attractiveness"
Explanation: "Improve the attractiveness" is a more formal and precise phrase than "augment the appeal," which is less commonly used in formal writing.
"enhance the quality of life for all individuals" -> "improve the quality of life for all individuals"
Explanation: "Improve" is a more straightforward and formal synonym for "enhance," aligning better with the academic style by avoiding redundancy and maintaining a consistent level of formality.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and tone of the essay to better suit an academic audience, ensuring precision, formality, and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies the effects of rapid population growth in cities, such as increased competition for employment and pressure on public services. The author also proposes solutions, including relocating businesses to rural areas and improving infrastructure. This comprehensive approach demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, the essay could benefit from a more explicit discussion of additional effects on individuals, such as social issues (e.g., crime rates, housing shortages) and environmental concerns (e.g., pollution). Including a broader range of effects would provide a more nuanced view of the challenges posed by urban overpopulation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that urban population growth leads to significant challenges, and it consistently supports this viewpoint throughout. The introduction clearly states the author’s belief, and the subsequent paragraphs reinforce this stance with relevant examples and proposed solutions.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could strengthen its argument by explicitly linking the proposed solutions back to the identified problems. For instance, after discussing the pressure on healthcare, the author could directly connect how relocating businesses would alleviate this specific issue. This would enhance the coherence of the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, particularly in outlining the problems and solutions. The use of terms like "plethora" and "heightened pressure" demonstrates a good command of vocabulary. However, some ideas could be further extended; for example, the discussion on healthcare could include specific statistics or examples to illustrate the severity of the issue.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of the argument, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples or data to support claims. For instance, citing specific case studies of cities that have successfully implemented similar strategies could lend credibility to the proposed solutions.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing both the effects of urban population growth and potential solutions. There are no significant deviations from the main subject, which contributes to the overall clarity and coherence of the response.
- How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the author should periodically revisit the main question in each paragraph. For example, reiterating how each proposed solution directly addresses the identified problems would reinforce the essay’s relevance and maintain a strong connection to the prompt.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. By expanding on the effects discussed, linking solutions more explicitly to problems, providing additional supporting details, and maintaining a clear connection to the prompt throughout, the author can further enhance the quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. The introduction effectively outlines the main issues related to urban population growth, specifically employment competition and pressure on public services. Each body paragraph addresses these issues systematically, with the first focusing on the problems and the second on potential solutions. For instance, the transition from discussing the challenges in healthcare to proposing the relocation of businesses to rural areas is seamless and maintains a coherent flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs. For example, at the beginning of the second body paragraph, a phrase like "To address these challenges, one potential solution is…" could strengthen the connection between the identified problems and the proposed solutions.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The first paragraph discusses the issues arising from population growth, while the second provides solutions. This clear division aids readability and comprehension. However, the conclusion could be more distinct, as it somewhat blends into the final body paragraph.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that the conclusion is clearly marked and summarizes the main points succinctly. You might also consider adding a brief summary of the solutions in the conclusion to reinforce the essay’s main arguments and provide closure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Moreover," "By transferring," and "Nevertheless," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. The use of synonyms, like "elevated population density" and "heightened pressure," also contributes to cohesion by avoiding repetition.
- How to improve: To diversify the range of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases. For instance, using phrases like "In addition," "Consequently," or "As a result" can enhance the essay’s cohesiveness. Additionally, ensure that the cohesive devices used are appropriate for the context; for example, "Nevertheless" could be replaced with "However" to better transition between contrasting ideas.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, effectively addressing the prompt with clear arguments and solutions. By implementing the suggested improvements, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, utilizing terms like "plethora," "elevated population density," and "pragmatic strategies." These choices reflect an understanding of the topic and contribute to a more sophisticated argument. However, there are instances of repetition, particularly with phrases like "population density" and "urban areas," which could be varied for greater lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "urban areas," alternatives like "city environments," "metropolitan regions," or "urban centers" could be employed. Additionally, integrating more varied adjectives and adverbs could enrich the text further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where word choice could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "the environment experiences reduced impact" is somewhat vague; it could be clearer if specified how the environment is impacted (e.g., "air quality improves" or "natural habitats are preserved").
- How to improve: Aim for specificity in vocabulary. Instead of saying "enhancing living circumstances," consider specifying what aspects of living conditions are being improved, such as "increasing access to clean water" or "providing affordable housing." This precision will strengthen the clarity of your arguments.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words like "metropolitan," "infrastructure," and "lucrative" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English orthography.
- How to improve: To maintain this level of spelling accuracy, continue practicing through reading and writing exercises. Consider using spelling check tools or apps that can provide feedback on commonly misspelled words. Additionally, reviewing commonly confused words can help ensure that spelling remains consistent and accurate.

Overall, while the essay achieves a solid band score of 7 for Lexical Resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy will further elevate the quality of writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "The urban population is steadily rising owing to the plethora of lucrative employment opportunities available" effectively convey detailed information. The use of conditional structures, as seen in "if businesses transfer to less populated regions," showcases the ability to express hypothetical situations. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, which contributes to a more engaging reading experience.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of starting several sentences with "The," try beginning with adverbial clauses or participial phrases (e.g., "Given the rapid urbanization, many cities face…"). Additionally, using inversion for emphasis in certain sentences could enhance the overall sophistication of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the plethora of employment opportunities" is correctly used, but the repetition of "plethora" could be avoided for better clarity and fluidity. Punctuation is mostly accurate, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and items in a list. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas before conjunctions in compound sentences, which could lead to minor confusion.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it would be beneficial to review the rules regarding comma usage, particularly in complex sentences. For example, ensure that commas are consistently used before conjunctions in compound sentences. Additionally, varying vocabulary to avoid repetition (e.g., using synonyms for "plethora") can improve clarity and engagement. Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on common errors can also solidify understanding and application of grammatical rules.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a high level of grammatical range and accuracy. With some targeted improvements, it could achieve an even higher level of sophistication and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

The population of major cities is experiencing rapid growth. It is believed that this increase may lead to several challenges, particularly concerning employment competition and the strain on public services. These issues can be addressed by implementing strategic measures such as relocating businesses to rural areas and enhancing infrastructure and services beyond urban centers.

The abundance of employment opportunities in metropolitan areas significantly contributes to their increased population density. The urban population is steadily rising due to the wealth of lucrative job prospects available. However, public services and housing are facing increased pressure as more individuals flock to urban areas. Furthermore, the heightened population density has placed considerable strain on the healthcare sector, complicating the delivery of effective medical services. Hospitals in densely populated regions have struggled to meet demand during recent health crises, jeopardizing the well-being of the local populace.

Megacities could more effectively alleviate their burdens if businesses were to relocate to less populated regions. By transferring enterprises and industries to rural or suburban areas, metropolitan regions can reduce population density. This shift would lessen the environmental impact and decrease transportation congestion. Enhancing utilities in remote regions is also advisable. By establishing offices, renovating roads, and improving living conditions, the government can boost the attractiveness of rural areas for individuals and businesses alike. Consequently, the demand for urban housing would decline, leading to an improved quality of life for all individuals.

In conclusion, two primary concerns arising from urban overpopulation are employment scarcity and increased demand for public services. Nevertheless, pragmatic strategies such as relocating businesses and enhancing rural infrastructure could help mitigate these challenges. These measures would promote equitable development in the region and improve the quality of life for urban residents.