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The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/ high school teachers in five countries in 2009.

The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/ high school teachers in five countries in 2009.

The table illustrates the secondary and high school teachers’ incomes in five different nations in 2009.
It is clear that teachers in Luxembourg earned the highest salaries, but it took a considerable amount of time to reach the top salary. By contrast, those in Australia and Denmark, although within the lowest salary range, attained the maximum salary relatively quickly
In 2009, Luxembourg teachers had the highest initial salaries, reaching $80,000, which were higher than Denmark, with $47,000, and were almost double the amounts in other nations, at around $30,000. A similar pattern can be observed in average salary. Luxembourg consistently occupied the top of the list, with $112,000 which was twice as high as other countries, with tightly around $50,000.
In terms of maximum salary, Luxembourg once again led the list with $139,000, though in this category, Korea was second, at $84,000, followed by Japan ($62,400), Denmark ($54,000), and Australia ($48,000). However, the least amount of time for teachers to achieve the top salary was in Denmark and Australia, taking only 8 and 9 years respectively. In comparison, teachers in other nations needed to work more than 30 years to reach the top income, especially in Korea which was 37 years.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "It is clear that teachers in Luxembourg earned the highest salaries, but it took a considerable amount of time to reach the top salary." -> "It is evident that educators in Luxembourg garnered the highest salaries, yet it required a substantial duration to attain the peak income."
    Explanation: Substituting "earned" with "garnered" adds a more refined nuance to the sentence, and replacing "considerable amount of time" with "substantial duration" contributes to a more precise and sophisticated expression.

  2. "those in Australia and Denmark, although within the lowest salary range, attained the maximum salary relatively quickly" -> "individuals in Australia and Denmark, despite falling within the lower salary bracket, achieved the maximum salary expediently."
    Explanation: Replacing "those" with "individuals" enhances clarity and specificity. Substituting "although" with "despite" adds a more formal tone. "Within the lowest salary range" is replaced with "falling within the lower salary bracket" for a more detailed and polished description.

  3. "A similar pattern can be observed in average salary." -> "An analogous trend is discernible in the average salary."
    Explanation: Substituting "pattern" with "trend" maintains the meaning while elevating the formality. "Can be observed" is replaced with "is discernible" for a more precise and sophisticated expression.

  4. "which was twice as high as other countries, with tightly around $50,000." -> "which was twice as high as that of other countries, hovering around $50,000."
    Explanation: Clarifying the comparison by replacing "other countries" with "that of other countries" improves precision. Substituting "tightly around" with "hovering around" adds a more nuanced and descriptive element.

  5. "Luxembourg once again led the list with $139,000, though in this category, Korea was second, at $84,000, followed by Japan ($62,400), Denmark ($54,000), and Australia ($48,000)." -> "Luxembourg once again topped the list with $139,000; in this category, Korea secured the second position at $84,000, trailed by Japan ($62,400), Denmark ($54,000), and Australia ($48,000)."
    Explanation: Replacing "led" with "topped" maintains the meaning while introducing a more sophisticated term. Clarifying the structure of the list by separating each entry with semicolons improves readability and formality.

  6. "However, the least amount of time for teachers to achieve the top salary was in Denmark and Australia, taking only 8 and 9 years respectively." -> "Nevertheless, teachers in Denmark and Australia took the least time to attain the top salary, requiring only 8 and 9 years, respectively."
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for better flow and clarity. Replacing "the least amount of time" with "the least time" and "taking only" with "requiring only" streamlines the expression.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay effectively covers the main aspects of the provided data on teachers’ salaries across five countries in 2009. It presents a clear overview of the key trends, such as the significant salary differences among the nations and the time it takes to reach the maximum salary. The key features, including initial, average, and maximum salaries, are appropriately highlighted and compared across the countries.

How to improve:
To enhance the score to a higher band, consider expanding on the analysis further. While the essay effectively highlights the disparities in salaries and the time taken to reach the maximum income, providing more specific details or insights, perhaps relating to the implications of these salary differences on education systems or teachers’ motivations, could add depth and complexity to the analysis, pushing it closer to Band 8. Additionally, ensuring a smoother transition between sentences and ideas could further refine the essay’s coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization and clear progression of ideas throughout. It starts with an introduction that outlines the content of the table and proceeds to compare the salaries across different countries in a structured manner. There is coherence in presenting information about initial, average, and maximum salaries, offering comparisons between countries. The essay maintains a clear central topic within each paragraph, focusing on specific aspects of salary data for each country.

The use of cohesive devices contributes to the overall coherence, although there are minor instances where there could be more varied or precise linkers to enhance the flow between sentences and ideas. The transitions between salary comparisons are adequately managed, ensuring a smooth progression.

Paragraphing is appropriate, providing distinct sections for each comparison made between the countries’ salaries. However, while the essay contains clear paragraphs, the concluding remarks might have provided a more concise summary tying back to the key points discussed.

How to improve:
To elevate the Coherence and Cohesion score to a higher band, consider incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph not only introduces a new aspect but also wraps up with a brief summary or transition to the following point to enhance the overall coherence further. Aim for a more comprehensive conclusion that effectively summarizes the main findings from the comparisons made in the essay without introducing new information.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, utilizing words and expressions that effectively convey the information. The writer effectively communicates the key points, and there is a variety of lexical items used to describe salaries, time frames, and comparisons between nations. The use of transitions like "by contrast" and "similarly" contributes to the coherence of the essay. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "attained," "occupying the top of the list," and "maximum salary," showing an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be more precise, and occasional errors in word formation are present, as seen in "tightly around $50,000" where "tightly" may not be the most accurate word choice.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, consider refining word choice in some instances for greater precision. Additionally, pay attention to word formation to avoid minor inaccuracies. For instance, instead of "tightly around $50,000," you might use "approximately $50,000" for a more accurate representation. Further, strive for even more sophistication in lexical features by incorporating a wider variety of uncommon words and expressions while maintaining accuracy.

Overall, the essay is strong, but there is room for improvement to reach a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation, incorporating a variety of complex structures. Most sentences are error-free, and the overall control of grammar and punctuation is commendable. The writer effectively conveys information about teacher salaries in different countries, using a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. There are occasional errors, but they do not significantly impede communication. The essay exhibits good clarity and coherence in presenting the data.

How to improve:
To further improve, the writer can focus on minimizing errors to enhance overall accuracy. Additionally, ensuring consistent use of punctuation and refining sentence structures can contribute to an even smoother flow. Consider revising for precision and clarity, especially in expressing the relationship between salary data and the number of years required to reach the top income.

Bài sửa mẫu

Sure, here’s an improved version of the report:


The provided table presents a comparative analysis of the remuneration received by secondary and high school teachers across five different countries in the year 2009.

Overall, it is evident that Luxembourg boasted the highest salaries for educators, albeit requiring a substantial duration to attain the peak income. In contrast, Australia and Denmark, despite offering lower base salaries, facilitated a faster progression to the maximum salary bracket.

Looking at the initial salaries in 2009, Luxembourg outstripped all other nations by offering a starting salary of $80,000, a substantial lead over Denmark at $47,000 and nearly double the amounts in other countries, which hovered around $30,000. This trend persisted in the average salaries as well, with Luxembourg consistently positioned at the pinnacle with an average salary of $112,000, almost twice as much as the approximately $50,000 in other countries.

Regarding the maximum salary, Luxembourg once again held the top spot with a figure of $139,000. However, in this category, Korea secured the second position at $84,000, followed by Japan ($62,400), Denmark ($54,000), and Australia ($48,000). Notably, Denmark and Australia presented a comparatively shorter duration to reach the highest salary, standing at 8 and 9 years respectively. Conversely, educators in other nations, particularly Korea, needed an extensive tenure of over 30 years to reach the apex income, with Korea requiring the longest duration of 37 years.

In conclusion, while Luxembourg consistently offered the highest salaries for teachers across all salary categories in 2009, Denmark and Australia stood out for providing a more expedited path to reaching the maximum income, despite their lower base salaries.


This revision aims to maintain the original data points while enhancing the clarity and precision of the report. The language is refined for coherence and alignment with the IELTS Task 1 format.

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