The table below gives information about the average annual distance travelled by adults and the types of travel in 1977 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
The table below gives information about the average annual distance travelled by adults and the types of travel in 1977 and 2007.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
The given table illustrates data about the yearly average distance travelled by adults and the types of transport in 1977 and 2007
Overall, in 1977 people mostly travelled by car and the distance reached 3500 in miles. It seemed to be upward trend since it reached 7100 miles travelled by car in 2007.Whereas the lowest distance in miles was bicycle and motorcycle
looking closer to the table in 1977 adults Traveled by car , train and bus the most with total distance of three types of travelled is 4200 miles. Car was been used the most with 3500 miles, followed by train at 900 miles and bus at 800 miles. Adults used to walk 400 miles in 1977
By contrats, bicycle ,motorcycle and taxi were less using by adults with 100 miles by motorcycle and bycle while taxi was 200 miles. As we can see, there was a big gap between public transport and individuals transports with the highest miles was car and the lowest in miles was bicycle.
In 2007, there was a several changed in average annual distance. Car still had the highest distance in miles, double than it was in 1977 at 7100 miles. While bus and hycle experienced a deterioration in miles from 800 to 500 miles and 100 to 80 miles.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The given table illustrates" -> "The table illustrates"
Explanation: Removing "The given" simplifies the phrase and aligns with the formal academic style, which typically avoids unnecessary words. -
"people mostly travelled by car" -> "people primarily traveled by car"
Explanation: "Primarily" is more precise and formal than "mostly," and "traveled" is the correct past tense form in this context. -
"It seemed to be upward trend" -> "It appeared to be an upward trend"
Explanation: "Appeared" is more appropriate than "seemed" in formal writing, and "an upward trend" is grammatically correct. -
"Whereas the lowest distance in miles was bicycle and motorcycle" -> "Whereas the lowest distance was by bicycle and motorcycle"
Explanation: This revision clarifies that the lowest distance refers to the mode of transport, not the distance itself. -
"looking closer to the table" -> "examining the table more closely"
Explanation: "Examining" is more formal and precise than "looking," and "more closely" is grammatically correct. -
"adults Traveled by car, train and bus the most with total distance of three types of travelled is 4200 miles" -> "adults primarily traveled by car, train, and bus, with a total distance of 4200 miles"
Explanation: Corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the sentence structure for readability and formality. -
"Car was been used the most" -> "The car was used the most"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error "was been" to "was," and adds the definite article "the" for clarity. -
"By contrats, bicycle,motorcycle and taxi were less using by adults" -> "In contrast, bicycle, motorcycle, and taxi were less used by adults"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "contrasts" to "contrast," and uses "less used" for grammatical correctness. -
"there was a several changed in average annual distance" -> "there were several changes in the average annual distance"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error "a several" to "several," and adds "the" for clarity. -
"Car still had the highest distance in miles, double than it was in 1977 at 7100 miles" -> "The car still had the highest distance, double that of 1977, at 7100 miles"
Explanation: Corrects the awkward phrasing and clarifies the comparison. -
"While bus and hycle experienced a deterioration in miles from 800 to 500 miles and 100 to 80 miles" -> "While the bus and bicycle experienced a decline in mileage from 800 to 500 miles and 100 to 80 miles"
Explanation: Corrects the typo "hycle" to "bicycle" and uses "decline" instead of "deterioration" for a more precise description of the decrease in usage.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by providing an overview of the data and making some comparisons. However, the overview is not clear and the comparisons are not fully developed. The essay also includes some irrelevant details, such as the total distance travelled by car, train and bus in 1977.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main features of the data. The writer should also focus on making more relevant comparisons, such as comparing the distance travelled by car in 1977 and 2007. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language and avoiding unnecessary repetition. For example, instead of saying "there was a big gap between public transport and individuals transports", the writer could say "public transport was significantly less popular than private transport".
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some attempt to organize information, but it lacks coherence and logical progression. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often inaccurate, leading to difficulties in following the flow of ideas. Paragraphing is inadequate, with ideas poorly separated. Sentences are disjointed, and there are numerous grammatical errors that further hinder clarity.
How to improve:
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Logical Organization: Focus on organizing ideas in a more structured manner. Ensure that there is a clear progression of information from one paragraph to the next.
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Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices more effectively to link sentences and paragraphs. Work on using them accurately to improve clarity and coherence.
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Paragraphing: Divide the essay into paragraphs more logically. Each paragraph should focus on a clear central topic or idea.
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Language Accuracy: Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance readability and coherence.
By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve better coherence and cohesion, thereby improving its overall band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks coherence in expression. There are frequent errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, which hinder clarity and understanding. The sentences often lack grammatical accuracy and fail to convey precise meanings due to awkward phrasing and incorrect word usage. For example, "by contrats" instead of "in contrast," and "hycle" instead of "bicycle."
How to improve:
- Expand Vocabulary: Use a wider variety of vocabulary to express ideas more clearly and precisely.
- Correct Spelling and Word Formation: Review spelling and word formation to ensure accuracy and clarity.
- Enhance Sentence Structure: Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance readability and coherence.
Improving these areas will help in achieving a higher band score for Lexical Resource, reflecting more accurate and effective use of language.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to convey information about travel distances and types in 1977 and 2007, but it struggles significantly with grammatical accuracy and coherence. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout, including issues with sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and punctuation. The use of complex sentences is limited, and those attempted are often inaccurate or unclear. This results in difficulty for the reader to understand the intended meaning in several places.
How to improve:
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Grammar and Punctuation: Focus on improving basic grammar skills, such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper use of articles and prepositions.
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Sentence Structure: Work on constructing clearer and more coherent sentences. Avoid overly complex sentence structures until a stronger foundation in basic grammar is established.
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Clarity and Cohesion: Ensure that each sentence and paragraph contributes clearly to the overall message. Use linking words and phrases to improve coherence between ideas.
By addressing these areas, the essay can improve its grammatical accuracy and overall clarity, which are essential for higher band scores in the IELTS Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided table presents data on the average annual distance traveled by adults using various modes of transport in 1977 and 2007.
Overall, in 1977, the primary mode of transport for adults was by car, covering a distance of 3500 miles. This figure increased significantly by 2007, reaching 7100 miles. Conversely, the least utilized mode of transport in both years was the bicycle and motorcycle.
In 1977, adults predominantly used cars, trains, and buses, totaling 4200 miles. Specifically, cars were the most popular, covering 3500 miles, followed by trains at 900 miles and buses at 800 miles. Walking accounted for 400 miles. In contrast, bicycles, motorcycles, and taxis were less commonly used, with only 100 miles each for bicycles and motorcycles, and 200 miles for taxis. This highlights a substantial disparity between personal transport modes, with cars accounting for the highest distance and bicycles the lowest.
By 2007, there were notable shifts in travel patterns. Cars continued to dominate, doubling their mileage to 7100 miles. However, buses and bicycles saw declines in mileage, dropping from 800 to 500 miles and 100 to 80 miles, respectively.
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