The table below gives information on visitor statistics for 1996,1998 and 2000 for various World Heritage sites in Australia.

The chart illustrates how many visitors traveled to different world heritage sites in Australia from 1996 to 2000.
Overall, there was a decrease in the number of people traveling to Central Eastern Rainforest Reserve while the opposite pattern was true for the other five sites, with Great Barrier Reef witnessing the most dramatic rise. In addition, Macquarie Island had the lowest figure over the period.
The number of visitors in Great Barrier Reef began at 167600 people in 1996, after wich it experieced a growth to 2950000 people before ending the period at 3200000 people. Similar changes, but to a lesser extent , can be seen in the figures for Blue Mountains and Tasmania Wilderness, which had cimbeed significantly to 581000 people and 48300 people respectively.
Approximately 840000 people visited to Shark Bay , with a subsequent rise to 890000 people in the final year. Conversely, the figures for Central Eastern and Macquire Island saw similar changes, dropping moderately to 581000 people and 330 people correspondingly in 2000

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"experieced" -> "experienced"
Explanation: "Experienced" is the correct spelling of the word, maintaining grammatical accuracy.
"cimbeed" -> "climbed"
Explanation: "Climbed" is a more appropriate and advanced term to indicate an increase in figures, providing clearer expression.
"to Shark Bay" -> "Shark Bay"
Explanation: Removing "to" before "Shark Bay" enhances conciseness without altering the meaning of the sentence.
"correspondingly" -> "respectively"
Explanation: "Respectively" is more precise in this context, indicating that the figures correspond to the respective sites mentioned, improving clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the visitor statistics for various World Heritage sites in Australia from 1996 to 2000. The main trends are clearly outlined, with mention of the decrease in visitors to Central Eastern Rainforest Reserve and the increase in visitors to the other sites, notably the Great Barrier Reef. Key features and changes in visitor numbers are highlighted, with specific figures provided for each site over the period.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide a slightly more detailed analysis of the data, particularly in terms of discussing the significance of the trends observed. Additionally, ensuring accuracy in the figures presented and refining the language for clarity and precision would enhance the overall quality of the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay presents information regarding visitor statistics for various World Heritage sites in Australia from 1996 to 2000. The overall structure of the essay is coherent, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing different sites, and a conclusion summarizing the trends. The progression of information is evident as it moves from general observations to specific details about each site.

The essay effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences, though there are instances of faulty cohesion, such as errors in referencing ("with Great Barrier Reef witnessing the most dramatic rise"). However, the use of cohesive devices aids in maintaining the flow of information. The paragraphing is sufficient but not entirely logical, as some information could be grouped more effectively.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure consistent and accurate use of referencing and cohesive devices throughout the essay. Additionally, focus on organizing information logically within paragraphs, grouping related details together for better clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a somewhat limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition of words and phrases. It adequately describes the trends in visitor statistics for the mentioned World Heritage sites in Australia, but the vocabulary used lacks variety and sophistication. There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation throughout the essay, which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Additionally, some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation are present, affecting the fluency and precision of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource of the essay and achieve a higher band score:

Expand the range of vocabulary used. Utilize synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition.
Pay attention to word choice and collocation to convey precise meanings accurately.
Review and correct spelling and word formation errors to enhance readability and clarity.
Aim for more sophisticated and natural language use, incorporating uncommon lexical items where appropriate to elevate the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. However, there are several grammatical errors and issues with punctuation throughout the text. For example, "after wich it experieced a growth" should be "after which it experienced growth." There are also issues with article usage and word choice, such as "had cimbeed significantly" instead of "had climbed significantly." These errors, while present, do not entirely hinder communication, but they do impact the clarity and coherence of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on sentence structure and ensure that complex sentences are used accurately. Review and correct errors in grammar, punctuation, and word choice. Strive for clearer and more concise expressions of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table presents data regarding visitor statistics for various World Heritage sites in Australia over the years 1996, 1998, and 2000.

Beginning with the Great Barrier Reef, the number of visitors started at 1,676,000 in 1996, escalating significantly to 2,950,000 in 1998, and reaching 3,200,000 by the end of the period. This site experienced the most substantial increase among all sites.

Conversely, the Central Eastern Rainforest Reserve saw a decline in visitors over the period, with figures dropping from 840,000 in 1996 to 581,000 in 2000. Similarly, Macquarie Island experienced a decrease, plummeting to 330 visitors by 2000.

The Blue Mountains and Tasmania Wilderness also saw increases, albeit to a lesser extent than the Great Barrier Reef. The former climbed to 581,000 visitors, while the latter reached 48,300 visitors by the end of the period.

Shark Bay observed a relatively steady rise in visitor numbers, starting at approximately 840,000 in 1996 and ending at 890,000 in 2000.

In summary, while there was a decline in visitors to the Central Eastern Rainforest Reserve and Macquarie Island, the other sites experienced increases, notably the Great Barrier Reef.