The table below shows population figure for four countries for 2003 and projected figure for 2025 and 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The table below shows population figure for four countries for 2003 and projected figure for 2025 and 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The table depicts the citizens of four different countries in the year 2003 and two different future years.
Generally, the population of Indonesia was dominant among surveryed countries in the past and tends to keep that consistance in 2025 and 2050. In contrast, the figures for Argentina and Republic of Korea will see a gradual increase in 2025, while the number of Italians will decrease over the given period.
To begin with, Indonesia had the highest population in 2003, at 238 milion people, and is projected to grow year by year to 312 milion by the end of the period. Futhermore, a sharp rise can be witnessed in Argentina population, which started at 34 milion people in 2003 and will hit the highest point at 62 milion in the year 2050.
Conversely, starting with 54 million in 2003, the figure for Italia is expected to fall dramatically to 47 and 45 milion in 2025 and 2050, respectively; however, population of Korea is projectedly register a gradual growth from 48 to 52 milion and will remain constant at 52 million in the last year of the period.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"surveryed" -> "surveyed"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error, ensuring the word is spelled correctly and enhancing the professionalism of the text. -
"consistance" -> "consistency"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error, ensuring the word is spelled correctly and maintaining the formal tone of the text. -
"will see a gradual increase" -> "is expected to increase gradually"
Explanation: Replaces "will see a gradual increase" with "is expected to increase gradually" to use a more formal and precise verb construction suitable for academic writing. -
"will decrease over the given period" -> "is projected to decrease over the given period"
Explanation: Adds "is projected" to specify the nature of the expected change, enhancing the formality and clarity of the statement. -
"Futhermore" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error, ensuring the word is spelled correctly and maintaining the formal tone of the text. -
"a sharp rise can be witnessed in Argentina population" -> "a significant increase in Argentina’s population can be observed"
Explanation: Replaces "a sharp rise" with "a significant increase" for a more formal tone, and adds possessive "Argentina’s" to correct the grammatical structure. -
"will hit the highest point at 62 milion" -> "will reach its highest point of 62 million"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "milion" to "million" and changes "hit" to "reach" for a more formal and precise verb choice. -
"Conversely" -> "In contrast"
Explanation: Replaces "Conversely" with "In contrast" to maintain a consistent formal tone and to better fit the context of presenting contrasting information. -
"projectedly register" -> "is projected to register"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical structure by replacing "projectedly" with "is projected to" to ensure proper verb tense and formality. -
"starting with 54 million" -> "beginning at 54 million"
Explanation: Replaces "starting with" with "beginning at" to use a more formal phrase that is commonly found in academic writing. -
"expected to fall dramatically" -> "projected to decrease significantly"
Explanation: Replaces "expected to fall dramatically" with "projected to decrease significantly" to use more precise and formal language suitable for an academic context. -
"register a gradual growth" -> "experience a gradual growth"
Explanation: Replaces "register" with "experience" to use a more natural and appropriate verb in this context, enhancing readability and formality.
These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and grammar to better align with academic writing standards, ensuring clarity, precision, and formality throughout the text.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the data, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also presents and adequately highlights key features/ bullet points, but details may be irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "the population of Indonesia was dominant among surveyed countries in the past and tends to keep that consistance in 2025 and 2050." This statement is not accurate, as the population of Indonesia is projected to grow, but it is not clear whether it will remain the dominant country in terms of population.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay could also be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details. For example, the essay could state that the population of Indonesia is projected to grow by 74 million people between 2003 and 2050, while the population of Argentina is projected to grow by 28 million people. The essay could also state that the population of Italy is projected to decrease by 9 million people between 2003 and 2050, while the population of the Republic of Korea is projected to remain relatively stable.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some organization and progression in presenting the population figures over time for four countries. There is an attempt to summarize the data, but the essay lacks overall coherence and cohesion due to several issues:
- Organisation: The essay attempts to present information chronologically but lacks a clear structure in connecting the ideas and comparing the data effectively.
- Cohesive Devices: There is some use of cohesive devices (e.g., "to begin with," "conversely"), but they are often used inaccurately or inadequately, which hinders the clarity and flow of the essay.
- Paragraphing: The essay does use paragraphs, but they are not always logically structured, which makes it difficult to follow the development of ideas.
How to Improve:
- Structure and Organization: Ensure a clearer introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed (e.g., introducing each country and its population trends). Each paragraph should focus on one main idea or comparison.
- Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices more effectively to link sentences and paragraphs. This includes using appropriate transitions and referencing between ideas.
- Paragraphing: Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and provide supporting details or comparisons.
By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve better coherence and cohesion, thus improving its band score for this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, which is minimally adequate for the task. It covers the main features of the table but lacks variety and precision in lexical choices. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation throughout the essay, which may cause some difficulty for the reader. For example, "surveryed" should be "surveyed," "consistance" should be "consistency," "milion" should be "million," and "futhermore" should be "furthermore."
How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score:
- Expand Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary relevant to describing demographic trends and data.
- Accuracy and Precision: Pay attention to accurate word choice, spelling, and word formation to enhance clarity and coherence.
- Avoid Repetition and Errors: Review the text to eliminate repetitive vocabulary and correct errors that affect overall communication.
By addressing these points, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource by demonstrating clearer and more accurate use of language.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to present information from a table regarding population figures for four countries across three different time points. It uses a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting to vary sentence forms but with inconsistencies in accuracy and clarity.
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as missing articles ("the citizens of four different countries"), incorrect verb forms ("surveryed" instead of "surveyed"), and punctuation errors ("Futhermore" instead of "Furthermore"). These errors, while frequent, do not completely hinder communication but can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.
The essay attempts to use complex sentences but these often lack accuracy ("will see a gradual increase" should be "are projected to experience gradual increases"). Additionally, there are issues with verb tense consistency ("starts" instead of "started") and word choice ("consistance" instead of "consistency").
How to Improve:
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Grammar and Punctuation: Focus on improving accuracy by reviewing verb forms, article usage, and punctuation rules.
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Sentence Structure: Aim for more consistent use of complex sentence structures. Ensure that complex sentences are accurate and effectively convey the intended meaning.
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Clarity and Cohesion: Work on clarity by ensuring that each sentence is clear and concise. Avoid using informal language ("will hit the highest point") and ensure precise vocabulary usage.
By addressing these areas, the essay can improve its grammatical range and accuracy to achieve a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
Certainly! Here is the improved version of the IELTS Task 1 report:
The table illustrates the population figures for four distinct countries in 2003, alongside projected numbers for 2025 and 2050.
Indonesia consistently held the highest population among the surveyed nations in 2003, with 238 million people, and this trend is set to continue with projections reaching 312 million by 2050. Argentina is expected to experience significant growth, starting from 34 million in 2003 and peaking at 62 million by 2050. Conversely, Italy, starting at 54 million in 2003, is anticipated to decline steadily to 47 million by 2025 and further to 45 million by 2050. In contrast, the Republic of Korea’s population is projected to see gradual growth from 48 million in 2003 to 52 million by 2050, maintaining stability thereafter.
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