There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. what are some of the benefits and drawbacks of having a small family? write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small family

There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. what are some of the benefits and drawbacks of having a small family?
write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small family

It is increasing clear that people around the world have a tendency to live in a small family. Rather than a large one. This trend would create certain benefits, but there will also be some drawbacks.

It can be said that having a small family has some noteworthy positive feedbacks. Firstly, financial stability is the remarkable advantage since a family with fewer children can reduce the cost in terms of food, housing, healthcare and so on. Therefore, parents can more easily manage their financial obligations and sell for the future. Secondly, parents in small family can devote more time, resources, and emotional energy to each child, which can foster stronger parent dry bones and allow for individual attention.

On the other hand, there are some obvious disadvantages that would arise. Firstly, parents in small family have potential strain in their old age. In particular, they may have less support network and experience the sense of loneliness when their child or children go older. Children in a nuclear family do not have siblings interactions. It means that they may miss out on the social development and lifelong relationship that often come from with having siblings.

In conclusion, is it worth considering that there are both benefits and drawbacks of having a small family? The benefits are the financial stability and individual attention, while the obstacles are the strain on parents in their old age and the lack of sibling interaction and support.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "It is increasing clear" -> "It is increasingly clear"
   Explanation: The phrase "increasingly clear" is grammatically correct and more natural in English, improving the sentence structure and clarity.

2. "Rather than a large one" -> "compared to a larger one"
   Explanation: "Compared to a larger one" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

3. "positive feedbacks" -> "positive effects"
   Explanation: "Feedbacks" is not a standard term in this context; "effects" is the correct term for the outcomes or consequences of something.

4. "remarkable advantage" -> "significant advantage"
   Explanation: "Significant" is a more formal and precise term than "remarkable," which can sound overly emotional or subjective in academic writing.

5. "reduce the cost in terms of food, housing, healthcare and so on" -> "reduce costs in areas such as food, housing, and healthcare"
   Explanation: "Costs" is more specific and formal than "cost," and "areas such as" is a more precise and academic way to introduce examples.

6. "sell for the future" -> "save for the future"
   Explanation: "Sell" is incorrect in this context; "save" is the correct verb for setting aside money for future use.

7. "parent dry bones" -> "parent-child bond"
   Explanation: "Parent dry bones" is a non-standard and unclear phrase; "parent-child bond" is the correct term for the emotional connection between parents and children.

8. "obvious disadvantages" -> "clear disadvantages"
   Explanation: "Clear" is more formal and precise than "obvious," which can sound too straightforward and informal for academic writing.

9. "potential strain in their old age" -> "potential strain in their later years"
   Explanation: "Later years" is a more formal and commonly used term in academic writing than "old age."

10. "go older" -> "grow older"
    Explanation: "Grow older" is the correct phrase for describing the process of aging, whereas "go older" is grammatically incorrect.

11. "do not have siblings interactions" -> "do not have sibling interactions"
    Explanation: "Sibling" is the correct noun form, and "interactions" should be used instead of "interact" to maintain grammatical consistency.

12. "often come from with having siblings" -> "often arise from having siblings"
    Explanation: "Arise from" is a more formal and precise way to describe the origin of something, and removing "with" corrects the grammatical error.

13. "is it worth considering" -> "it is worth considering"
    Explanation: Removing "is" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence grammatically correct and more formal.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of having a small family. However, it lacks depth in exploring these aspects. For instance, while financial stability is mentioned as a benefit, the discussion does not elaborate on how this impacts family life or the broader societal implications. Similarly, the drawbacks are noted but not sufficiently explored, such as the emotional impact of loneliness or the long-term effects of limited social interactions on children.
  • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. Expanding on the implications of financial stability and the emotional consequences of loneliness would strengthen the essay. Additionally, including more specific examples or statistics could enhance the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. However, the clarity of the position is somewhat muddled by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, such as "is it worth considering" in the conclusion, which detracts from the overall coherence. The use of "would create" and "can be said" introduces uncertainty, making the position less assertive.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use definitive language and avoid hedging phrases. A strong thesis statement at the end of the introduction that clearly outlines the benefits and drawbacks would help guide the reader. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly supports this thesis will enhance the overall clarity.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas related to the benefits and drawbacks of small families, such as financial stability and individual attention. However, the ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with examples. For example, the point about financial stability is made but not linked to specific outcomes, such as improved quality of life or educational opportunities for children.
  • How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should aim to include more detailed explanations and examples. Each point made should be followed by an elaboration that connects the idea to real-life scenarios or research findings. This could involve discussing how financial stability allows for better educational opportunities or how sibling relationships can provide emotional support throughout life.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of small families. However, there are moments where the relevance of certain points is unclear, such as the mention of "financial obligations and sell for the future," which could confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that all points directly relate to the benefits and drawbacks of small families. Avoiding vague language and ensuring that each point is clearly tied back to the main topic will help keep the essay on track. Additionally, reviewing the essay for clarity and coherence can help eliminate any off-topic statements.

In summary, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt but requires significant improvement in depth, clarity, and support for ideas to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on elaboration, clear positioning, and coherence will enhance the overall quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The points are logically sequenced, with advantages presented first followed by disadvantages. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother; for instance, the shift from discussing benefits to drawbacks could be more explicitly signposted to enhance clarity.
  • How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that outline the main idea. Additionally, transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can be used more effectively to signal shifts in argument or perspective.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the second paragraph could be split into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on financial stability and the other on the emotional benefits of having a small family. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
  • How to improve: To enhance paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant details. Consider starting a new paragraph when introducing a new aspect of the discussion, as this will help maintain clarity and focus.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly" and "On the other hand," to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as "financial stability is the remarkable advantage" and "the obstacles are the strain on parents." This can disrupt the flow and coherence of the text.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Additionally," "Furthermore," "In contrast," and "Consequently." Also, ensure that phrases are grammatically correct and clearly convey the intended meaning. For example, instead of "the remarkable advantage," consider "a significant advantage."

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents arguments clearly, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "financial stability," "emotional energy," and "social development." However, the use of phrases such as "noteworthy positive feedbacks" is awkward and suggests a limited understanding of collocation, as "feedback" is typically uncountable. Additionally, the phrase "strain in their old age" could be enhanced with more varied vocabulary to express the concept of stress or burden more vividly.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more precise terms. For example, instead of "noteworthy positive feedbacks," consider using "significant advantages" or "notable benefits." Expanding the vocabulary related to family dynamics and social interactions could also enrich the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "parents can more easily manage their financial obligations and sell for the future" contains the phrase "sell for the future," which is unclear and likely a misstatement. The intended meaning might have been "save for the future." Additionally, "parent dry bones" appears to be a typographical error or a misphrasing, which detracts from clarity.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should review their word choices and ensure they convey the intended meaning accurately. Using tools like a thesaurus or vocabulary lists can help find more appropriate words. Proofreading for typographical errors and ensuring clarity in phrasing will also enhance the overall precision of vocabulary.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several spelling errors, such as "increasing" (should be "increasingly"), "feedbacks" (should be "feedback"), "dry bones" (likely intended to be "bonds"), and "obstacles" (which should be "drawbacks" or "disadvantages" for consistency). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing exercises focused on commonly misspelled words. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors before submission. Additionally, creating flashcards for frequently misspelled words can reinforce correct spelling through repetition.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their overall lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple and compound sentences. For example, the sentence "This trend would create certain benefits, but there will also be some drawbacks" effectively combines two independent clauses. However, the essay lacks more complex structures, such as conditional sentences or varied clause types, which could enhance the depth of expression. The phrase "It can be said that having a small family has some noteworthy positive feedbacks" is somewhat awkward and could benefit from rephrasing for clarity and sophistication.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences, such as those using subordinate clauses (e.g., "Although having a small family can lead to financial stability, it may also result in feelings of loneliness for parents in their later years"). Additionally, using varied sentence openings and transitions can help create a more engaging flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, "It is increasing clear" should be "It is increasingly clear," and "rather than a large one" is a fragment and should be integrated into the previous sentence. The phrase "parents in small family" lacks an article and should read "parents in a small family." There are also punctuation issues, such as the comma splice in "Firstly, financial stability is the remarkable advantage since a family with fewer children can reduce the cost in terms of food, housing, healthcare and so on," which could be improved by breaking it into two sentences or using a semicolon.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence completeness. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing common grammatical structures can help. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors and ensuring that sentences are properly constructed will improve overall clarity. Using tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument and addresses the prompt, improvements in sentence variety and grammatical accuracy are essential for achieving a higher band score. Focusing on these areas will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is increasingly clear that people around the world have a tendency to live in small families rather than large ones. This trend creates certain benefits, but there are also some drawbacks to consider.

It can be said that having a small family has some noteworthy positive effects. Firstly, financial stability is a significant advantage, as a family with fewer children can reduce costs in areas such as food, housing, and healthcare. Therefore, parents can more easily manage their financial obligations and save for the future. Secondly, parents in small families can devote more time, resources, and emotional energy to each child, which can foster a stronger parent-child bond and allow for individual attention.

On the other hand, there are some clear disadvantages that may arise. Firstly, parents in small families may face potential strain in their later years. In particular, they may have a less supportive network and experience feelings of loneliness when their child or children grow older. Additionally, children in a nuclear family do not have sibling interactions, which means they may miss out on the social development and lifelong relationships that often arise from having siblings.

In conclusion, it is worth considering that there are both benefits and drawbacks to having a small family. The advantages include financial stability and individual attention, while the disadvantages involve the potential strain on parents in their later years and the lack of sibling interaction and support.