these day, household waste including food packing is rising daily in my countries. what factor lead to that? how may this issue be resolved?

these day, household waste including food packing is rising daily in my countries. what factor lead to that? how may this issue be resolved?

Recently, the sharp rise of household trash is a considerable concern.There are several factors leading to this issue such as industrial growth, the explosion of the population,…However, some measures can be taken to tackle this problem effectively.
On the one hand, There are various reasons why this phenomenon is becoming a serious concern. Chief among these is that the expansion of industries, companies ultilize excessive packing to make products more expensive and attractive, which attract consumer and lead to increase noticebly about the amount of waste produced. Second, modern lifestyle prioritize convenient and amenity things . this can be explaned by the fact that people love convenience and overuse items that can not recycle. This thing contribute to make enviroment become polluted.
on the other hand, there are the variety of solutions in order to address this significant problem. The effective strategy is the limit of materials being not able to reuse or recycle to encourage the production of reuse or recycle products in order to decrease the pollution of enviroment. moreover, goversment also should give some laws to limit this issue better.for example, the goversment should enact the laws to ban plastic bags, this law will reduce considerably the amount of household garbage producing.
In concusion, there are several factor resulting in the boom of household waste including the increase of industries and the overuse of convenient items. Besides, there are various measure to tackle this concern as government should enact some laws to prevent this to become considerable.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "sharp rise of household trash" -> "marked increase in household waste"
    Explanation: "Sharp rise" is somewhat informal and vague; "marked increase" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.

  2. "There are several factors leading to this issue" -> "Several factors contribute to this issue"
    Explanation: "Leading to" is somewhat informal and less precise; "contribute to" is more direct and academically appropriate.

  3. "the explosion of the population" -> "the rapid growth of the population"
    Explanation: "Explosion" is an emotional and somewhat informal term; "rapid growth" is neutral and more suitable for formal writing.

  4. "ultilize" -> "utilize"
    Explanation: "Ultilize" is a typographical error; "utilize" is the correct spelling.

  5. "noticebly" -> "noticeably"
    Explanation: "Noticebly" is a typographical error; "noticeably" is the correct spelling.

  6. "modern lifestyle prioritize" -> "modern lifestyles prioritize"
    Explanation: "Lifestyle" should be plural to match the plural verb "prioritize," indicating that multiple lifestyles are involved.

  7. "amenity things" -> "convenience items"
    Explanation: "Amenity things" is unclear and informal; "convenience items" is a precise and commonly used term in academic contexts.

  8. "this can be explaned" -> "this can be explained"
    Explanation: "Explaned" is a misspelling; "explained" is the correct form.

  9. "overuse items that can not recycle" -> "overuse items that cannot be recycled"
    Explanation: "Can not" is informal and incorrect in this context; "cannot be recycled" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  10. "This thing contribute" -> "This contributes"
    Explanation: "This thing" is informal and vague; "This contributes" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  11. "make enviroment become polluted" -> "pollute the environment"
    Explanation: "Make enviroment become polluted" is awkward and grammatically incorrect; "pollute the environment" is a more direct and formal expression.

  12. "the variety of solutions" -> "various solutions"
    Explanation: "The variety of" is redundant; "various" is sufficient and more concise.

  13. "limit of materials being not able to reuse or recycle" -> "limits on non-reusable or non-recyclable materials"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear; the suggested revision clarifies the meaning and improves formality.

  14. "goversment" -> "government"
    Explanation: "Goversment" is a typographical error; "government" is the correct spelling.

  15. "enact the laws to ban plastic bags" -> "enact laws banning plastic bags"
    Explanation: "Enact the laws to ban" is redundant; "enact laws banning" is more direct and formal.

  16. "reduce considerably the amount of household garbage producing" -> "significantly reduce household waste production"
    Explanation: "Reduce considerably the amount of household garbage producing" is awkward and grammatically incorrect; "significantly reduce household waste production" is clearer and more formal.

  17. "In concusion" -> "In conclusion"
    Explanation: "In concusion" is a typographical error; "In conclusion" is the correct term.

  18. "boom of household waste" -> "boom in household waste"
    Explanation: "Boom of" is grammatically incorrect; "boom in" is the correct preposition usage.

  19. "various measure" -> "various measures"
    Explanation: "Measure" should be plural to match the plural context of "various."

These changes enhance the formality, clarity, and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying factors contributing to the rise in household waste and suggesting potential solutions. The mention of industrial growth and modern lifestyles provides a reasonable overview of the causes. However, the response could benefit from a more thorough exploration of each factor, as some points are underdeveloped. For instance, while the essay mentions "the explosion of the population," it does not elaborate on how this specifically contributes to increased waste.
    • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should expand on each factor with specific examples and explanations. For instance, discussing how population growth leads to increased consumption and waste generation could strengthen the argument. Additionally, providing more detailed solutions, such as community initiatives or educational campaigns, would enhance the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the seriousness of the waste issue and the need for solutions. However, the transition between discussing causes and solutions is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse the reader about the overall stance. The phrase "there are the variety of solutions" lacks clarity and could be more assertive in presenting the author’s viewpoint.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use clear transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For example, explicitly stating "In terms of solutions" before discussing measures would help clarify the shift in focus. Additionally, reinforcing the importance of the proposed solutions with a stronger concluding statement would enhance the overall coherence.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as industrial growth and modern lifestyles, but these points are not fully extended or supported with sufficient detail. For example, the claim that "companies utilize excessive packing to make products more expensive and attractive" could be elaborated with examples of specific industries or products. The solutions proposed, such as banning plastic bags, are relevant but could be supported with evidence or examples of successful implementations in other regions.
    • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to provide specific examples and data where possible. For instance, citing statistics on waste generation or referencing successful recycling programs could strengthen the argument. Additionally, elaborating on how proposed solutions could be implemented would provide a more comprehensive view.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the causes and solutions related to household waste. However, there are instances of vague language and minor deviations, such as the phrase "this thing contribute to make enviroment become polluted," which could be more directly tied to the main argument about waste. The use of informal language in some areas detracts from the overall academic tone.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should avoid vague expressions and ensure that each sentence directly contributes to the main argument. Using precise language and avoiding informal phrases will enhance the academic quality of the essay. Additionally, a clear outline before writing could help in organizing thoughts and ensuring all points remain relevant to the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between discussing causes and solutions is somewhat abrupt, which can confuse the reader. The introduction mentions "industrial growth" and "population explosion" but does not elaborate on these points in the body, leading to a lack of depth in the argumentation.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each point made in the introduction is addressed in the body. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph that directly relate back to the thesis statement. Additionally, consider using transitional phrases such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In conclusion" to guide the reader through the argument.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate ideas, but the internal structure of each paragraph needs refinement. For example, the first body paragraph discusses multiple causes but lacks clear separation between them, making it difficult for the reader to follow. The second body paragraph introduces solutions but could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples.
    • How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. For instance, in the paragraph discussing causes, separate the points about industrial growth and modern lifestyles into distinct sections. This will make the essay easier to read and understand.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "on the other hand," which help to contrast the causes and solutions. However, there is a limited range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay. For instance, the use of conjunctions and linking phrases is repetitive, and some sentences feel disjointed due to a lack of effective transitions.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "Consequently," and "For instance." This will enhance the flow of ideas and create a more cohesive argument. Additionally, ensure that pronouns and synonyms are used effectively to avoid repetition and maintain coherence throughout the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially increasing the overall band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "household trash," "industrial growth," and "convenient items." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks sophistication. For instance, the phrase "the sharp rise of household trash" could be varied with synonyms like "surge" or "increase." Additionally, the phrase "this phenomenon" is used, but it could be more effectively replaced with terms like "this trend" or "this issue" to enhance variety.
    • How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. Creating a list of vocabulary related to waste management and environmental issues could help. Incorporating more advanced vocabulary and phrases would also elevate the essay’s overall quality.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "companies ultilize excessive packing to make products more expensive and attractive." The term "expensive" does not accurately convey the intended meaning, as the focus should be on the attractiveness of packaging rather than its cost. Additionally, the phrase "this can be explaned by the fact that people love convenience" could be more concisely expressed as "this reflects a societal preference for convenience."
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on the specific meanings of words and choose those that best convey their ideas. Engaging in exercises that emphasize word choice and context can help refine this skill. Reading high-quality essays or articles on similar topics can also provide insight into more precise vocabulary usage.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "ultilize" (utilize), "explaned" (explained), "enviroment" (environment), and "goversment" (government). These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should practice proofreading their work before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Regular reading and writing practice will help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that would enhance the overall quality. For instance, phrases like "the sharp rise of household trash is a considerable concern" and "there are various reasons why this phenomenon is becoming a serious concern" show basic sentence construction. Additionally, the use of clauses is minimal, which restricts the depth of expression.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate complex sentences that include dependent clauses. For example, instead of saying, "the expansion of industries… which attract consumer," a more complex structure could be, "the expansion of industries, which utilize excessive packaging to make products more appealing, significantly contributes to the increase in household waste." Practicing the use of relative clauses, conditional sentences, and varied conjunctions will help enhance the complexity and variety of sentence structures.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, "companies ultilize excessive packing to make products more expensive and attractive" contains a spelling error ("utilize") and awkward phrasing. Additionally, the phrase "this can be explaned by the fact that people love convenience and overuse items that can not recycle" has grammatical inaccuracies, such as the incorrect form of "cannot" and the awkward construction of "items that can not recycle." Punctuation issues are also present, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, which affects readability.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as spelling mistakes and incorrect verb forms. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, particularly for compound and complex sentences, will enhance clarity. For instance, using commas before conjunctions in compound sentences (e.g., "However, some measures can be taken to tackle this problem effectively") will improve the flow of ideas. Engaging in grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant ideas, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation will significantly elevate the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Recently, the marked increase in household waste, including food packaging, has become a considerable concern. Several factors contribute to this issue, such as industrial growth and the rapid growth of the population. However, various measures can be taken to tackle this problem effectively.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why this phenomenon is becoming a serious concern. Chief among these is that the expansion of industries leads companies to utilize excessive packaging to make products more appealing and attractive, which in turn attracts consumers and results in a noticeably higher amount of waste produced. Second, modern lifestyles prioritize convenience items. This can be explained by the fact that people love convenience and often overuse items that cannot be recycled. This contributes to the pollution of the environment.

On the other hand, there are various solutions to address this significant problem. An effective strategy is to impose limits on non-reusable or non-recyclable materials to encourage the production of reusable or recyclable products, thereby decreasing environmental pollution. Moreover, the government should enact laws to better manage this issue. For example, the government could implement laws banning plastic bags, which would significantly reduce household waste production.

In conclusion, there are several factors resulting in the boom in household waste, including the expansion of industries and the overuse of convenience items. Additionally, there are various measures to tackle this concern, as the government should enact laws to prevent this issue from becoming more considerable.

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