Write an essay of between-350 and 400 words about the following topic: Educators should teach facts only after their students have studied the ideas, trends, and concepts that help explain those facts. To what extent do you agree or disagrée? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Write an essay of between-350 and 400 words about the following topic:
Educators should teach facts only after their students have studied the ideas, trends, and concepts that help explain those facts. To what extent do you agree or disagrée?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

"Children are the pillars of our nation". With that idea in mind, government in general and educators in particular have always tried their best to come up with the best educational plans. Because of it, many individuals have come to a conclusion that facts only should be taught after students have remembered the required materials. Personally, I partly agree with the statement. The essay will elaborate both sides to support my opinion.
On the one hand, there are many reasons explaining why some like concepts should be studied before anything. It is believed to be an essential tools for candidates to have critical thinking, allowing to express their thoughts and ideas in a well-organized way. To elaborate, when you study any particular topic, before anything, concepts and ideas are often introduced before the lesson. This help you to have a background knowledge, enabling individuals to have a deeper understanding of the topic, Also for you to distribute your way of thinking. For example, in high-schools and colleges, students grade not only based on their intelligence, but also their way of organizing. Additionally, when it comes to an excellent report, fact-based knowledge are not always the most important. Related experiences and ideas will help one to excull mores. Not only that, those background knowledge aforementioned can improve the ability of connecting what have been leant. It's not rare when 1 studied ideas can be adapted to another. To be specific, because historical events have a connection to one another. It's essential for student to study in an ordely way. All the above have proven how much ideas, trends and concepts help one in their way of thinking.
Nonetheless, the simple understanding of facts is the foundation of education, so it must be applied to circumstances where they can juecly think. Tobe specific, the route of memorization of maths, such as addition, subtraction, multiplication and division should be found out by students themselves. Based on what they have learnt, it will enable them to challenge advanced levels of the subjects, such as linear etc. It's a long-term saying that we must learn and improve based on what our ancestors have given back.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that for teachers to teach facts when students have equiped with the required materials. It helps them to explain and expand them in a critical thing way. Adapting to the of the new phases resulting from changes such as an educational shifts play a vital role in improving our country later on.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "government in general and educators in particular" -> "the government and educators"
   Explanation: Simplifying the phrase to "the government and educators" maintains the formal tone while avoiding redundancy and enhancing clarity.

2. "come up with the best educational plans" -> "develop the most effective educational strategies"
   Explanation: "Develop the most effective educational strategies" is more precise and academically appropriate than "come up with the best educational plans," which is somewhat informal and vague.

3. "facts only should be taught after students have remembered the required materials" -> "facts should be taught only after students have mastered the required content"
   Explanation: "Mastered the required content" is more specific and academically precise than "remembered the required materials," which is too simplistic and informal for academic writing.

4. "partly agree" -> "partially agree"
   Explanation: "Partially agree" is the correct form in formal academic writing, whereas "partly" is less formal and slightly archaic.

5. "It is believed to be an essential tools" -> "It is considered an essential tool"
   Explanation: "Tool" should be singular to match the singular verb "is," and "considered" is more formal than "believed."

6. "allowing to express" -> "enabling them to express"
   Explanation: "Enabling them to express" is grammatically correct and more formal than "allowing to express," which is awkward and incorrect.

7. "This help you to have" -> "This helps you to have"
   Explanation: "Helps" should be the singular form to agree with the singular subject "This."

8. "distribute your way of thinking" -> "organize your thoughts"
   Explanation: "Organize your thoughts" is a clearer and more precise expression than "distribute your way of thinking," which is awkward and unclear.

9. "grade not only based on their intelligence, but also their way of organizing" -> "are graded not only on their intelligence but also on their organizational skills"
   Explanation: "Are graded" is the correct passive construction, and "organizational skills" is a more precise term than "way of organizing."

10. "fact-based knowledge are not always the most important" -> "factual knowledge is not always the most crucial"
    Explanation: "Factual knowledge" is a more formal term than "fact-based knowledge," and "crucial" is more academically appropriate than "important."

11. "excull mores" -> "excel more"
    Explanation: "Excel more" is the correct phrase, replacing the incorrect and unclear "excull mores."

12. "what have been leant" -> "what has been learned"
    Explanation: "Has been learned" is the correct form of the verb "learn," correcting the grammatical error in "have been leant."

13. "juecly think" -> "critically think"
    Explanation: "Critically think" is the correct phrase, replacing the incorrect and unclear "juecly think."

14. "Tobe specific" -> "To be specific"
    Explanation: Corrects the typo "Tobe" to "To be" for grammatical accuracy.

15. "equiped with the required materials" -> "equipped with the necessary materials"
    Explanation: "Equipped" is the correct form, and "necessary" is more formal than "required."

16. "explain and expand them in a critical thing way" -> "explain and expand them in a critical manner"
    Explanation: "In a critical manner" is grammatically correct and more formal than "in a critical thing way," which is awkward and incorrect.

17. "of the new phases" -> "of the new phases"
    Explanation: The phrase "of the new phases" is grammatically correct and maintains the intended meaning without redundancy.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding whether facts should be taught after concepts. The writer states a personal position of partial agreement, which is a good approach. However, the essay lacks a clear delineation of the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement. The arguments presented are somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific examples or a clearer connection to the prompt.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, providing more concrete examples that illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of teaching concepts before facts would strengthen the argument. For instance, including specific educational theories or practices could provide a more robust foundation for the claims made.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position but does so in a somewhat ambiguous manner. The phrase "I partly agree" suggests a nuanced view, yet the argument lacks clarity in how this perspective is maintained throughout the essay. The transitions between points are not always smooth, leading to some confusion about the overall stance.
  • How to improve: The writer should work on maintaining a consistent and clear position throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using signposting language to guide the reader through the argument. For example, phrases like "On one hand," "Conversely," and "In conclusion" can help clarify the writer’s stance and the progression of ideas.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the importance of concepts in learning. However, these ideas are not always fully developed or supported with sufficient evidence. For example, the mention of critical thinking and organization is relevant, but the explanation lacks depth and specific examples that would illustrate these points more effectively.
  • How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing specific examples from educational practices, studies, or personal experiences that illustrate how concepts enhance understanding before facts are introduced. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by evidence will strengthen the overall argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, but there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, particularly in the second paragraph, where the discussion of grading and organization feels somewhat tangential to the main argument. This can detract from the overall coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: To maintain better focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central argument of the essay. This can be achieved by regularly referring back to the prompt and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to answering the question posed. Additionally, creating a clear outline before writing can help maintain focus on the topic throughout the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, clarity, depth, and coherence can be improved to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on explicit positioning, supporting ideas with specific examples, and maintaining topic relevance will enhance the overall quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, stating that the author partly agrees with the idea that concepts should be taught before facts. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are generally organized to present arguments for both sides. However, the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by unclear transitions and abrupt shifts between ideas. For instance, the transition from discussing the importance of concepts to the necessity of understanding facts could be smoother to enhance clarity.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the author should ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "For instance") can help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly. A clearer delineation between the two sides of the argument, perhaps by using separate paragraphs for each, would also strengthen the overall structure.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a positive aspect. However, some paragraphs are overly long and contain multiple ideas that could be better articulated in separate paragraphs. For example, the first body paragraph combines several points about the importance of concepts without clearly delineating them, which can confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: The author should aim for clearer paragraphing by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This can be achieved by breaking down longer paragraphs into shorter ones that each address a specific aspect of the argument. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence will help the reader understand the focus of that section immediately.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "not only… but also" and "for example," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be clearer. For example, the phrase "all the above have proven" lacks a clear reference to the specific points made earlier, which can lead to ambiguity.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the author should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. This includes using synonyms, referencing previous points more explicitly, and employing a mix of conjunctions and transitional phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "additionally," the author could vary their language with alternatives like "moreover" or "in addition." This will enhance the essay’s fluidity and make the argument more compelling.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will help elevate the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "critical thinking," "background knowledge," and "fact-based knowledge." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is repetitive or lacks variation. For example, the phrase "ideas, trends, and concepts" is used multiple times without introducing synonyms or related terms, which could enhance the richness of the language.
  • How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "ideas," alternatives like "notions," "theories," or "perspectives" could be introduced. Additionally, using more specific academic vocabulary relevant to education and learning could elevate the essay’s sophistication.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, which can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "excull mores" appears to be a typographical error or misuse of "exculpate" or "exceed," which detracts from clarity. Additionally, "the route of memorization of maths" could be more clearly expressed as "the process of memorizing mathematical operations."
  • How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing word choices and ensuring they fit the context. Utilizing a thesaurus to find more precise terms can also help. For example, instead of "route of memorization," the writer could say "process of mastering fundamental mathematical concepts."

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that affect readability, such as "ordely" (should be "orderly"), "juecly" (should be "judiciously"), and "equiped" (should be "equipped"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, ideally multiple times. Utilizing spell-check tools can help catch errors, but manual proofreading is essential for context-specific words. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can reinforce correct spelling patterns.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of lexical resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, improving precision, and ensuring correct spelling will help elevate the score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt at using a variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "It is believed to be an essential tools for candidates to have critical thinking, allowing to express their thoughts and ideas in a well-organized way" attempts to incorporate a complex structure. However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences following a similar pattern, which can lead to monotony. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "the route of memorization of maths," which detracts from clarity.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice using more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses, as well as varying the sentence beginnings. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "It is believed" or "This helps," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses to create more engaging openings. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases can help in connecting ideas more fluidly.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "essential tools for candidates to have critical thinking" should be "essential tools for candidates to develop critical thinking." There are also subject-verb agreement issues, such as "fact-based knowledge are not always the most important," which should be "fact-based knowledge is not always the most important." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas and run-on sentences, further complicate the readability of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that singular and plural forms are used correctly. It would be beneficial to review common grammatical structures and practice writing sentences that adhere to these rules. Additionally, the writer should pay attention to punctuation, particularly the use of commas to separate clauses and items in a list. Reading the essay aloud can help identify run-on sentences and areas where punctuation is needed for clarity.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument and attempts to engage with the topic, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Regular practice, along with focused feedback on specific grammatical structures and punctuation, will aid in enhancing the overall quality of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

“Children are the pillars of our nation.” With this idea in mind, the government and educators have always strived to develop the most effective educational strategies. As a result, many individuals have concluded that facts should only be taught after students have mastered the required concepts and ideas. Personally, I partially agree with this statement. This essay will elaborate on both sides to support my opinion.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why concepts should be studied before facts. It is considered an essential tool for students to develop critical thinking skills, enabling them to express their thoughts and ideas in a well-organized manner. To elaborate, when studying any particular topic, concepts and ideas are often introduced before the factual content. This helps students to build background knowledge, allowing for a deeper understanding of the subject. Additionally, it aids in organizing their thoughts. For example, in high schools and colleges, students are graded not only on their intelligence but also on their organizational skills. Furthermore, when it comes to producing an excellent report, factual knowledge is not always the most crucial element. Related experiences and ideas can help individuals excel more. Moreover, the background knowledge mentioned earlier can enhance the ability to connect what has been learned. It is not uncommon for concepts studied in one area to be adapted to another; for instance, historical events often have connections to one another. It is essential for students to study in an orderly manner. All the above points illustrate how much ideas, trends, and concepts contribute to effective thinking.

Nonetheless, a fundamental understanding of facts is the foundation of education, and it must be applied in contexts where students can critically think. To be specific, the process of memorizing mathematical operations, such as addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, should be discovered by students themselves. Based on what they have learned, this will enable them to tackle more advanced levels of the subject, such as linear equations. It is a long-held belief that we must learn and improve based on the knowledge passed down by our predecessors.

In conclusion, I believe that teachers should present facts only after students are equipped with the necessary materials. This approach helps them to explain and expand on the content in a critical manner. Adapting to the new phases resulting from changes, such as educational shifts, plays a vital role in improving our country in the long run.